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I'm new at this, so be kind :-)
Catherine Willows slammed her fist against her locker room door!
"How could I have been so stupid?"
She and Sara Sidle her co-worker of 3 years had just had one of their famous arguments in the locker room, Sara had been screaming at her, cornering her against the wall, totally invading Catherine's personal space, and suddenly Catherine had completely lost track of the argument. She had an overwhelming need to taste those lips so very close to her just for a moment. And suddenly she had crashed her lips against Sara's. For just one second the world stopped turning for Catherine Willows and she was in absolute heaven until reality suddenly hit. She was kissing Sarah Sidle in the locker room and by the feel of it Sara wasn't enjoying it as much as Catherine. Actually Sara wasn't responding at all and stood absolutely still. Catherine pulled away with lightning speed
"Shit Sara, shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I don't know what came over me, I don't even like you that much!"
She couldn't look at Sara, she couldn't bear to see the look of pure disgust she was sure Sara would be giving her. She steeled herself for the moment when Sara would start screaming at her again. But nothing came Catherine looked up and before Sara turned and stormed out, she was sure, she saw hurt in those beautiful brown eyes.
Catherine felt more alone than she had ever felt before
"how could I have completely lost control like that? Not only does she think I am a complete lunatic for kissing her but she probably thinks I'm some kind of pervert, sexually harassing my straight younger co-worker in the work place" Definitely not your best move Willows!" "I have totally blown it!"
Catherine had actually felt that they were beginning to form some kind of fragile friendship ever since she had taken Sara out for that beer after the Hank incident. Sara had opened up a little and after a few beers she had even started to smile that lovely gab toothed smile of hers, somewhere in the middle of beer number four or five Catherine had found herself having a hard time concentrating on what Sara was talking about and focusing more on how beautiful her smile where and wondering how soft those lips would feel like against her own. This had scared the shit out of her, and when she saw Sara having a hard time keeping her eyes open, she had called it a night. When they stood outside the bar waiting for a cab, Catherine couldn't keep her self from stealing glances at this beautiful woman. It wasn't as if Catherine didn't already know that Sara was a beautiful woman but something profound had shifted inside of her and lately Sara had been on her mind constantly. All these years she had kept Sara at arms length in the beginning she had felt threatened by this young brilliant woman who had entered her territory, but that night she had finally realised that perhaps there was more to it, than that.
That day when she had gone to bed, she couldn't get the image of Sara's lovely smile out of her head…
Sara's hands were all over her, while kissing every inch of her body, Catherine was chanting Sara's name and she was getting closer and closer.
"Sara please…, oh God yesss…"
Suddenly she woke shocked and seriously turned on.
"What the Hell?! Did I just have a sex dream about Sara Sidle??"
After a cold shower Catherine felt a little better, did she have the hots for her straight female co-worker? She had had crushes on women before and she had always seen herself as a bisexual woman but having the hots for Sara was serious problem, this was a woman she worked with, she had to be careful and hope these feelings would pass without anybody knowing about her predicament, most off all Sara.
The next few weeks, Catherine was in her own private hell! She noticed everything about Sara, what she wore, how her ass looked in her jeans, how her tank top clung to that sexy toned body, her smile, the look she would get when she was focused on a piece of evidence, how her eyes would light up when Grissom complimented her on a job well done and how uncomfortable she would get every time Catherine were near her. A few times Catherine couldn't stop herself when they were talking about a case and had touched her arm or shoulder to make a point and every time Sara had cringed or shied away from her touch. Catherine always removed her hand quickly and went on with their conversation as if nothing had happened but inside she felt like daggers were piercing her heart.
The dreaming had gotten more and more intense and Sara had become an obsession, she even caught herself daydreaming in her office and once at a staff meeting, Warrick had to kick her under the table before she found out that Grissom had asked her a question about a case twice and she was just starring out in space.
Greg had then said:
"Hello earth to Catherine, what are you in "luve" or something?"
Catherine had then turned several shades of purple and had mumbled something incoherent! The entire team but Sara and Grissom had laughed and made fun of her the whole shift. Sara had seemed even more uncomfortable around her and Grissom was completely oblivious.
She didn't really know how strong her feelings where, she was obviously attracted to Sara and she did think about her a lot but "Was she in love with Sarah? – God she hoped not! But the evidence sure pointed in that direction!"
And now 4 weeks later as she stood in that locker room her fist hurting like hell and feeling like her heart had just shattered in a million pieces, she knew she was in serious trouble!
The mature thing to do would be to find Sara and give her some kind of explanation for why she had just kissed her, but she really didn't feel mature right now and how was she ever going to explain this? She just wanted to go home climb in to bed and never leave her house again. She couldn't face Sara or the rest of the team who probably all knew about her insane behaviour by now. So she went home sat in the darkness of her living room and drank an entire bottle of red wine and fell asleep on the couch while feeling extremely sorry for herself.
When she woke a few hours later, she felt even worse, she had a hangover and she looked like she hadn't slept for days. But the worst thing was it was time for work and she really didn't want to face Sara!