They leave a little past midnight, Raphael decides to drive for the first half of the trip; too restless, anxious and with too damn much on his mind to simply sit in the passenger seat and nod off like Leonardo has.
He turns the radio on to keep him company and break the dead silence, and for the first couple of hours, it clears his mind.
As they leave the city behind, Raphael's grip tightens on the steering wheel and he struggles swallowing the lump in his throat as the reality of the situation starts to kick in.
It's happening. They're leaving their old lives behind; their friends, their family, and onward to an uncertain future. Just the two of them...
He dares a glance in Leonardo's direction. The cabin is dark and his form is mostly shrouded in darkness but he's seen Leonardo fall asleep in the car enough time to know he's probably leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and chin down into his chest.
Over the quiet rumbling of the engine, the low melody playing on the radio and the whistle of the wind, he can hear Leonardo's quiet snores with each rise and fall of his chest. On occasion, he hears him mumble something resembling words. He's heard Master Splinter's name slip more than once. He doesn't dwell on it for long and cleans the sudden hot tears with the back of his hand.
He feels frail, lost, scared... He's not the angry and brave hot-headed member of the Hamato clan anymore, nor is Leonardo it's diligent prodigy leader. It's just Leonardo and Raphael now; a pair of stray low-lives.
He places his shaking hand on Leonardo's knee and just feeling Leonardo under his calloused hand makes everything less terrifying and a little less painful. He let's out a shuddering breath and tightens his grip, holding on to Leonardo like a lifeline.
He doesn't care if this is wrong or sick or immoral. It's right to him. He just wished things had played out differently.
It's quarter to five when Leonardo wakes up. Raphael feels him squirm and lightly stretch and Raphael tilts his head to look at him. And he's transfixed by how frighteningly breakable Leonardo looks, and can't fathom what he himself looks like.
"Hey." Leonardo says, his voice low, barely over a whisper.
Raphael tries to offer a smile but fails miserably. "You okay?"
"Yeah." There's a pause. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm...alright." He says tiredly, a loud yawn quickly following.
Leonardo nods silently. "Pull over."
Raphael is far too tired to argue or even question the order, he turns on the hazard lights and steers to the right until he's off the road. Meanwhile, Leonardo has unbuckled his seat belt and sneaks in between the seats to the back of the van. Wordlessly, Raphael parks and moves over to the passenger seat, still warm with Leonardo's heat.
"Here you go." Leonardo says, the words muffled by the slice of bread in his mouth, handing Raphael a small plastic bag as he takes his seat and adjusts it to his liking.
Raphael looks at the contents, cutlery, a jar of marmalade and a bag of bread. A snarky remark is at the tip of his tongue instantaneously, something about him being in charge of the food arrangements next time, but it never makes it out.
"We have some other stuff in the back," Leonardo supplies. "I packed some cereal, if you'd like."
Raphael shakes his head. "I ain't hungry."
"You didn't eat anything before we -"
"I'm fine, Leo." Raphael cuts him off, surprised by the lack of hostility in his own voice despite his irritation. "Honest."
Leonardo faces the front and his mouth presses into a tight line, clearly upset, but he doesn't push him. With a grim smile, Raphael shifts on the seat until he's comfortable, and leaves his body in an incredibly awkward pose that has him facing the seat, away from he rising sunlight.
Swifts of Leonardo's scent roll off the polyester, Raphael closes his eyes and all he can think of is home. His room, his bike. Michelangelo and his big mouth. Donatello and his kind smile. Master Splinter and his stupid Soap Operas...
He doesn't realize he's crying until Leonardo grabs his hand. And despite his embarrassment, he can't stop. After a while, he just doesn't care, he's hiccupping and sobbing and smearing tears and who knows what else over himself and the car until he slowly falls asleep.
By the time he wakes up, the sun is setting, the road is loaded with traffic and Leonardo is still holding his hand, and Raphael wants to believe they'll be okay.