COMPLICATED: A TWILIGHT SATIRE
What can I say? When the muse comes to call, you gotta answer. Goes to Avril Lavigne's "Complicated". Out of all the anti-Twilight songs I've written, this one's got to be the most outrageous.
Original Music © Avril Lavigne
Twilight © Stephenie Meyer
Lyrics © unicorn-skydancer08
All rights reserved.
Uh-huh
Yeah, some books
Uh-huh, uh-huh—
Just ain't worth the look
Big sale at the big bookstore
What was all the ruckus for?
Some strange new thing they labeled "Twilight"
What a fright
But I took out a twenty
Brought one copy home with me
I thought I could take at least one peek
But shame on me
Please tell me why
Oh, why did I buy
This piece of claptrap
I want a payback
You call this a joke?
It looks like the joke's on me
Tell me,
Why must this make everyone's lives so complicated?
I gotta tell you
Loving a sparkly vampire is so overrated
What to do, now?
Now every last girl in the world
Has been sucked into this deadly Twilight whirlpool
No matter what I do, there is just no way to escape it
No, no, no
I was feeling pretty blue
Had nothing better to do
Heard there was a new flick out today
Well, what the hey?
And so I headed straight down
To the multiplex downtown
Was I in for a major surprise
Before my eyes,
There stood a line
The world's biggest line
And all set to see
The Twilight movie
Well, son of a gun—
Seven twenty-one and three!
Tell me,
Why must Twilight make everything so complicated?
'Cause everybody
Is totally and utterly infatuated
Don't believe this
Has everybody gone crazy?
I'm barely hanging on to my sanity
Oh, how is it that one measly book could make our lives so wasted?
Oh, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no…
My life's never been the same
Since Twilight had come my way
I must find some way to get away
Far away
Pack up and leave
For a new country
Where I can at least
Get a moment's peace
But where would I go?
Twilight would just follow me
Tell me,
How did just one book make my life so complicated?
I can't believe it
Don't recall a time when I've ever been more frustrated
Lord, have mercy
Would somebody please rescue me
From this dark and dreary pit of misery
'Cause this craziness with glittering demons, I just can't take it
Oh, no—
How did the literary world get so degraded?
Well, don't look at me
It ain't my fault the honor of books has become tainted
Such a pity
Can't even look at Edward's name
Or upon a setting sun the same way again
Well, I have nothing more to say, I have just about said it
No, no, no…