TOONSTER9'S QUOTE: Hey readers, I seen the movie of Judd Apatow's Funny People and I thought of an idea to rewrite the story with differences and turn it to more comedy than dramatic (no offense Judd, but you are still my hero). Anyway this is a story of Bugs' life after the show. Years with Lola that it suddenly ended. Haven't seen his Looney Tunes pals for a long time. I do not own Looney Tunes (I wish I did) they belong to Warner Bros, so don't sue me for writing this. Also there's other crossover toons in this story, so I don't own them either. Enjoy the story, hopefully. Review it so I can know if it's a good idea writing it.
FanFiction Presents
A Toonster9's Fic
Funny Toons
CHAPTER 1: Hare's Life
BUGS BUNNY RIDES AGAIN EPISODE, BEHIND THE SCENE (1948):
CAMERA VIEW:
In a small town of an old west desert, we see Yosemite Sam aiming his six shooter revolver at Bugs Bunny. "Start walkin' you dug-on lop-eared galoot!" Yosemite Sam threatening and glaring at him. Bugs glares at him for the insult and pushes the barrels away from him and moves it to aim it at Sam. "Just a minute, partner. You can't talk to me like that." Bugs said angrily.
Yosemite Sam looks down at his gun and was surprised to aim the guns at himself. He aims it back at Bugs. "Them, fighting words." Bugs said, putting his hands on his hips. Yosemite Sam leans a little close to him, still aiming his gun at Bugs. "Yeaahh, fighting words." Yosemite Sam said with attitude.
Bugs steps back and makes a little line with his foot on the sand ground. "I dare you to step over this line." Bugs said, pointing at the line. Sam looks down at the line and looks up at Bugs. "Okay, I'm steppin!" Yosemite Sam said, while taking one step over the line.
Bugs angrily steps back and makes another line. "I dare you to step over this one." Bugs said. Yosemite Sam crossed it again. Bugs kept on making lines and Sam kept on crossing them.
"This one." Bugs said.
Crossed it.
"This one."
Crossed it.
"This one."
Cross. A few minutes, Bugs and Sam were out of town going up a hill.
"That one."
Crossed it.
"That one."
Crossed it. Later, Bugs and Sam were heading to a close far-down cliff.
"That one."
Crossed it. Bugs makes another line near the edge of the cliff.
"This one." Bugs said with a smirk.
Yosemite Sam, without looking, steps over the line and accidentally step over the cliff edge. Then Sam falls way down from the cliff, like a falling missile.
Bugs looks down from the edge, then he was shock for the way Sam was falling. Bugs runs down, before Sam hit the ground. Bugs stops at the spot where Sam is gonna land. Then Bugs Bunny (out of nowhere) grabs a mattress and lays it down on the ground to catch the falling Yosemite Sam. Bugs proudly looks up at Sam, still falling. Then he turns at the viewers.
"You know? Sometimes me conscience kinda bothers me..." Bugs said to the viewers. Then he looks up and turns back at the viewers with a excited yet evil smile.
"But not this time." Bugs said, while pulling the mattress away at the last moment. Bugs looks at Sam's fall and then close his eyes and turns away after Sam landed. CRUSH! Bugs turns back and opens one eye.
Then he widen his eyes for surprise. Yosemite Sam was flat like a pancake, walking around with the hat covering his whole body except his legs. Bugs stares at him confusingly, then chuckles.
People in the background were laughing and snickering. "Alright that's a cut. Somebody help Sam." Director Friz Freleng said, while walking at the set. Two studio members walk to the set and help Yosemite Sam pull out the hat off his head and body.
Sam was struggling and groaning. "Hurry up, you darn varmits! I can't breath!" Yosemite Sam said, while they were helping him. The camera turns to Bugs. Bugs Bunny was talking to the writer, Tedd Pierce. "That was soo outrageous, Doc." Bugs said, while snickering.
Tedd chuckles and nodded. "You're the one who told me to write it down. Any other ideas for the next part?' Tedd asked. Bugs nodded and thought about it. He gestures Tedd to walk with him. "Okay picture this. Right now, Sam is on the ground flapping his little feet around the ground with hat on. Then pulls out his revolvers and starts firing at me." Bugs said, walking with Tedd.
He writes it down on his script and nodded for following Bugs' words. "Then I started running, ran behind a giant rock and out of nowhere I was riding a horse." Bugs said, continuing his idea for the next part. The cameraman turns off the camera.
RABBIT FIRE EPISODE, BEHIND THE SCENE (1951):
CAMERA VIEW:
In the middle of the nature's woods. We see Elmer Fudd aiming his shotgun at Bugs Bunny, inside his rabbit hole with a mail box next to it. "Now I got you-you wabbit." Elmer said with an evil smile. Bugs slowly grabs the barrel and moves it away from his face. He gets out of his hole and pulls out his carrot. Elmer puts his gun down and stares at him confusingly.
Bugs takes a bite of his carrot and gave him a sarcastic disappointed expression. "Say Doc (chews), are you tryin' to get yourself in trouble with the law? It's not Wabbit huntin' season." Bugs said. Elmer gave him a questioning look. "It's not?" Elmer asked.
Bugs shakes his head for response. "No, it's Duck huntin' season." Bugs said, pointing out. Daffy walks in the set with his fists next to his kneel, glaring at Bugs. "That, sir, is an in-metigated frab-rication! It's Wabbit season!" Daffy said after stopping face to face with Bugs, with his fist on his hips.
"Duck season." Bugs said, with his eyes close.
"Wabbit season!" Daffy said annoyed.
"Duck season." Bugs said.
"Wabbit season!" Daffy yelled.
"Duck season." Bugs said.
"Wabbit season!" Daffy yelled. Bugs shows a smirk.
"Wabbit season." Bugs said, reversing the flow.
"Duck season!" Daffy yelled.
"Wabbit season." Bugs said.
"Duck season!" Daffy yelled angrily.
"Wabbit season." Bugs said.
"I say it's Duck season, and I say, FIRE!" Daffy said, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. Elmer gave a determinated look, shrugged his shoulders and aims his shotgun at Daffy. BLAM! Daffy beak was spinning around his face and then slowly went back it's place. Daffy widen his eyes and realize that he been tricked. "Hmmm...lets try that again." Daffy said, starring at Bugs suspiciously.
"Okay." Bugs responded with a smirk.
"I'll start it, this time." Daffy said, calmly.
"Right." Bugs said, sarcastic agreement. Daffy grabs Elmer's barrel and moves it to point at Bugs.
"Wabbit season." Daffy said, being careful for Bugs' action. Bugs pushes the barrel and points at Daffy.
"Duck season." Bugs said. Daffy push back the gun at Bugs.
"Wabbit season." Daffy said. Bugs grabs the barrel, spans it clockwise and aims it at himself.
"Wab...bit season." Bugs said. Daffy grabs the barrel and aims it at himself.
"Duck season, FIRE!" Daffy yelled. BLAM! Elmer shot him again. After the smoke ball faded away Daffy's beak was in the back of his head. He slowly replaced his beak back to it's original normal spot.
Then he stares at Bugs angrily for tricking him again. "Okay... this time you sthart it." Daffy said, poking Bugs' stomach. Bugs shrugged his shoulders. "Whateva you say." Bugs said, whiling aiming Elmer's barrel to himself.
"...Wabbit." Bugs said. Daffy quickly grabs the barrel and aims at himself.
"Duck! FIRE!" Daffy said, demanding with over reaction. BLAM! Elmer shot him again as usual. The smoke around Daffy's head faded away and reveals his head flipped upside-down.
Then we hear snickering and laughter in the background. Bugs and Elmer were chuckling and then let out a loud laughter. Daffy rolled his eyes and turns his head back to normal and chuckles with them. The camera zooms out and reveals that it was a stage.
Chuck Jones came to the set and shakes Daffy's hand while laughing. "Alright cut! That's a wrap. You guys did good." Chuck Jones said, still snickering. Daffy waves it off, while snickering. "How come I'm the only one getting shoth in the faceth?" Daffy said, turning to Bugs.
Bug shrugged his shoulders and held up his hand. "I don't have a beak, Daffy." Bugs said. Daffy rolled his eyes and walks off the set. Bugs walks with him, padding his back. "You did good, Daffy. That was hilarious. Let's get some coffee." Bugs said, exiting out with Daffy.
Chuck Jones shakes his head for watching them getting along. Then he face the camera. "I said cut. Turn the camera off. The next part is when Daffy gets shot (chuckling) again." Chuck said to the cameraman. The camera turned off.
SPACE JAM MOVIE, BEHIND THE SCENE (1996):
CAMERA VIEW:
In the locker room, all the Looney Tune characters are sitting on the benches with a disappointed expression. Michael Jordan was angrily frustrated for the way they look. Then Porky Pig raised his hand. "I think we should qui- qui- forfeit." Porky Pig said.
Everyone nodded and agree for his idea. Then Michael angrily comes close to him and points his finger at him. "Listen, I didn't get dragged down here to lose to ugly monstars!" Micheal shout.
Porky got scared and suddenly faint to the ground. Michael walks around the locker, talking to everyone. "I ain't going out like that. We're letting them push us!" Michael said, encouraging them. While Michael was doing his little speech, Bugs Bunny was pouring water from a water fountain to a push and pull lid sport bottle.
"We must fight back! We must get right in their faces." Michael said, getting their attention. Then Bugs Bunny was writing something on the bottle while humming a song. Michael puts his hands on his hips and looks around.
"Well?...Are you with me or not?" Michael said. Then all of a sudden every toon were awkwardly asleep, seeming that they got bored by Michael's speech. They were all snoring like pigs (no offense Porky).
Michael shakes his head for disappointment. Then Bugs walks to him while shaking the bottle and stops at front of him. "Finished? Great speech and all, Doc." Bugs said sarcastically, pointing his thump at the lazy toons.
"Ehh, you had them riveted. But uh didn't you forget something?" Bugs said, smiling suspiciously with the bottle behind his back. Michael stares at him confusingly. "What?" Michael asked, not following him. Then Bugs shows the bottle with "Michael's Secret Stuff" written on it.
"Your secret stuff." Bugs said with a smirk. Then he starts drinking and gobbling it. All the Looney tunes woke up for the hurriedly sound and then we see a shadow of Bugs' with a very large muscular body. Bugs was flexing his ginormous muscles and kept growing stronger. He raise one eyebrow for showing off his buff arms.
Then he flex even harder, showing muscles on his muscles. All the toons gave a awe yet surprised look. "Wow" Lola said, in a awe tone. Daffy pops up with a surprised look. "Whoa! Nice (snickering) deltoi- HAHAHAH! I'm sorry, he just look so freakin' funny." Daffy said with a hard laugh.
Everyone were chuckling with him. Bugs rolled his eyes and stares at the studio crew. Everyone were chuckling for Daffy's comment. "Cut (laughing) Cut! Daffy, I told you not to laugh at this part. It's the third time." Director Joe Pytka said, walking at the set.
Michael shakes his head and let a little snickering. Daffy held up his hands, innocently. "It's not my fault that you turn Bugth into the incredible Hulk." Daffy said, while laughing. Bugs unzips the muscular body he had on (it was a costume). Bugs chuckles and walks off the set. "Ha ha and a ha, Daffy." Bugs said sarcastically while putting the muscular costume at the dressing room.
Lola was giggling and walks behind Bugs. "Don't listen to that feather head, Bugsy." Lola said, putting her arm around Bugs. Michael walks to them. "Yeah, he wouldn't be laughing if he had that costume on." Michael said.
Bugs waves it off and turns to Lola, smiling. Michael notice the love that is happening. "How long were you guys dating?" Michael asked. Bugs turns to Michael with a smirk and was about to answer the question but Lola answered before him.
"A few weeks from now." Lola said proudly. Then she kiss Bugs to the cheek. Micheal chuckles for watching Bugs blush. "Awww that's sweet." Michael said with a little sarcasm. Joe walks to them with a little frustrated look. "Okay let's do it again. From the top , this time you better be strong to say your line." Joe said.
Daffy kept on laughing while pointing at Bugs. "It's like Lou Ferrigno and Arnold Schwarzenegger made a baby." Daffy said, laughing harder on the floor.
Everyone in the studio burst into a loud laughter. Bugs rolled his eyes and laughs with them. Michael and Lola were laughing harder for that comment. Then camera turned off. It was a blooper scene from Bugs' career and life.
LOS ANGELES (PRESENT):
In the the rich neighborhood, the morning sun rises up beautifully. Inside the biggest mansion, we a dour-looking certain grey rabbit with long ears all alone in his bed. Bugs wearing a white t shirt and black shorts, opens one eye and wakes up from his king size bed. The curtain from his oval-shaped that over look the buildings of L.A, automatically slide open to show light.
Bugs gets up and stand up from his bed. He cracks his neck and stretches while yawning. Bugs walks outside to his balcony and leans on it. Starring at the beautiful view with a depressing face.
Later, Bugs dives inside his large pool. Several gardeners were mowing his large lawn and blowing the leafs off the grass, freshly neat. A female housekeeper walks to the other side of the pool while holding a plate full of carrots and a bottle of water. Bugs swim laps around the pool, gets out and gestures the housekeeper to bring him the plate. She walks to him and serve him the carrots.
Later, Bugs (wearing a black tank top, blue pants and a gray jacket) was reading a People Magazine in his large kitchen. Bugs sits next to his counter drinking his carrot juice and reading the magazine. It was about him and his relationship with Lola.
BUGS AND LOLA BUNNY:
THE PERFECT COUPLE...ENDED SADLY
Three days ago, Bugs and Lola (the most perfect couples in Hollywood) had broken up three days ago. It had been said that Bugs Bunny was spotted cheating with a model bunny in Malibu. A paparazzi took a shot of Bugs kissing the model girl on the cheek. After he came home, Lola furiously had a loud argument with him. The neighbors heard their conversation, saying that Bugs just gave her a friendly kiss. But Lola reaction was beyond out of control. She just packed her things and moved to her brother Tank Bunny, the NFL star. Bugs didn't even stop her and explain things. Seeming that he didn't want her back. This is the saddest thing that ever happen in Hollywood. Poor Bugs, years as comedian actor and icon, Lola was the only person he loves in this world. What would he do without her? Rumors say that-
Bugs didn't read the rest. He puts the magazine down with the other stack of magazines and sighed depressingly. He glares at the magazine cover, letting everyone know about his relationship life. Then Bugs grabs his car keys and heads out to the driveway.
Bugs drives around town in his black convertible Mercedes. He parks near a medical tower building.
Minutes later, Bugs Bunny rides the escalator to the large lobby. There are so many people and toons walking around the lobby. Bugs walks around with a bored expression look on his face. Then thee male cartoon students (Ed, Edd n Eddy) walk over to him. "Bugs Bunny. Oh Man! Can I get a pic." Ed asked excitedly with a less intelligent tone.
Bugs nodded and chuckles. Ed walks next to him and puts his arm around Bugs while Edd and Eddy are taking the picture. Ed smiles big standing next to the famous Bugs Bunny. "You got it, guys? Alright, Docs." Bugs said smiling at the cameras.
Edd and Eddy were chuckling for watching their friend getting nervous. After the picture they all shake his hand and saying goodbye. "Alright you kids. Stay out of trouble hehe." Bugs said while walking away and waving goodbye.
Moments Later, Bugs poses next to a star headed yellow girl name Lisa. Her mother Marge (The Simpsons) gets ready to take the picture. "Say cheese little girl." Bugs said while smiling. Lisa giggles and hugs Bugs.
"You're funny, mister Bugs." Lisa said, after the picture been taken. Bugs chuckles and waves goodbye to them. "Thank you. Your father, Homer is funnier. Tell him not to be in anymore shenanigans." Bugs said to Lisa while walking away. Bugs continues walking through the lobby. He shakes hands with the people that recognize him. "Hello...Hi...Gentlemen...Ladies." Bugs said to the people he shook hands with.
Later, inside the doctor's office: Bugs sits in the doctor's office. Drumming his fingers on his lap while looking around. Then a male Caucasian human doctor wearing a white coat enters and sits down across his desk. He takes a deep breath and didn't look very happy. "Hello, mister Bunny." The Doctor said, shaking Bugs' hand. Bugs notice the look on the doctor's face, so he pulls out his carrot and starts chewing it.
Bringing happiness for him. "Eh...what's up Doc." Bugs said, since he's a doctor. The Doctor chuckles and shakes his head for the joke. Bugs chuckles with him and puts away his carrot.
"So, Doc. The Lunestas are working, baby. Those are smooth. No hangova. Fall asleep and BAM hehe. What was the deal with those restorils? Why'd you give me those, you trying to mess with my mind or something, Doc?" Bugs asked playfully.
The Doctor smiles disappears with a sad look on his face. He didn't know how to explain. "Umm, Bugs. We got the results back from the follow up on your blood count and it's not what we hoped for. As I mentioned, your CBC was abnormal, your white cells were four times the size as they should be. Very low hemoglobin. Seven grams per deciliter." The Doctor said, with a sad look.
Bugs had no idea what the doctor said, but for the way he said it, he knew that it was bad. Bugs stares at him with a little worry expression. "...I don't know what you're saying right now, doc. Can you speak how people speak?" Bugs said, only this time it wasn't a joke.
The Doctor notice the tone he gave him and felt sorry. "You have a very serious disease, mister Bunny. It's call AML, it's a form of leukemia." The Doctor said, not feeling good about it.
The room was dead silent, Bugs face turned white. Feeling a little dead inside, he now knows what the Doctor meant. Bugs lost his dignity after the news about his health. "I can't predict how this play out, but I feel that you have a rough road ahead..." The Doctor said, continuing his sentence.
Bugs ignores the Doctor by looking around his things. We see photos of the doctor's family watching Looney Tunes on their television, his graduation certificates, files of other cases, odd doctor's office stuff, and a picture of him walking with his son dressed as Bugs Bunny for Halloween. The doctor kept talking but Bugs ignores him. Everything was mute to him now.
Moments later, Bugs walks through the lobby with a daze yet depressed look. Then a young human guy, his girlfriend and his brother see him and follow Bugs. "It's Bugs! Bugs Bunny! Hey man, how you doing." Young guy said, surprised. Bugs turns to them and tries to smile. "Oh my God!Can you take a picture with me." The girlfriend said with a excited tone. Bugs nodded with a little daze.
The young guy and the girlfriend put their arms around Bugs, while the young guy's brother takes a picture of them. Bugs was a little depress still, but he force a smile. Thinking about his lost of hope.
Later, Bugs was driving home with a dead sadness look on his face. Years of being shows and movies...this how it ends? He was lost in thought. Bugs was hearing the Doctor's voice in his head. Bugs stops at the red light, close his eyes and rest his head on the steering wheel.
"I'm going to refer you to a specialist who will oversee your case. I'm so sorry to say that we're passed the point where traditional structures like chem-therapy and radiation will be effective. I think it's best for us to pursue an experimental course." The Doctor voice over Bugs' mind. Bugs pulls into his large driveway, turns off his ignition, gets out and walks into his house. The most famous cartoon character...is going to have his last moments.