A/N: For the kink meme prompt: Sherlock took John with him in A Study in Pink because he realised John was suicidal and should not be left alone.
Warning for discussions of possible suicide.
John always believed that he was invited to the pink lady's crime scene at his first viewing of 221b because Sherlock could see the benefits of having an experienced army surgeon added to his ranks. That the eccentric consulting detective who only worked alone could see his potential, could already feel the strange connection he already felt between them both.
While that may have been the case, many things were going on that day. The stranger read more than he ever thought possible.
When Sherlock saw John again, really saw him as Mrs. Hudson buzzed around them talking about 'married ones' and 'second bedrooms', he noticed the things that he'd only begun to pick up in the lab.
The deductions jumped out in his mind:
Fingering phone absentmindedly through trouser pocket- not allowing alcoholic brother to assist, in fact his worry about him is only adding to his own stress. Does not want to make contact as it only causes more unease. Something that he cannot handle on top of everything else at this point.
Bags under bloodshot eyes- not sleeping well coupled with nail imprints in palms, nightmares then. Most likely about the war, probably part of post traumatic stress.
Very serious expression at all times- obvious, deep smile lines however have not seen him smile or laugh (apart from sarcastically in the lab due to discomfort and confusion). Used to do a lot of both, now face seems to be slack, confused or frowning.
Is here viewing the flat- jumped at the chance of a flat share even though I came across to him as 'a bit of a madman'. Desperate then. Desperate to get the flat share? Desperate to get out and do something? Desperate for companionship? Human connection? Or just plain desperation?
Leg- the legs stiffness frustrates a formally active man, most likely played a team sport when younger- probably rugby going by the shoulders- and of course, solider. The cane and limp make him feel disabled, old, unneeded, forgotten and unseen. Was perhaps popular with women and now feels useless- need more data on this.
Assertive or aggressive?- looks like he could lose his temper about his leg over next ten minutes as he sees me, able bodied and full of energy with the possibility of adventure while he is held back.
Stare- empty when he thinks no one is watching. You can see the bone numbing sadness when he feels no one is looking.
Clothes- he may just wear pedestrian things normally but these are days old and not hung up properly. He has accepted his role as unseen and forgotten.
Gun, knife?- most likely has weapon hidden in current accomodation, one of the last possessions he owns. Room will be spartan, small, no personality. Reminds him of the army but in negative ways. Being there is not good for his mental health. Eyes lit up when seeing this apartment as it is the opposite of what he has been living. He wants to be involved but it reminds him of what he doesn't currently have and that is holding him back. Is ready to provide excuses.
Conclusion- this man is suicidal and has the means, will and mindset to follow through however is no threat to myself or Mrs. Hudson.
Action- keep him occupied, keep him away from his bed-sit.
*Added note- you feel drawn to him for some reason. Army doctor could be useful to the work. Give him a chance.