"Secrets in my heart" this was a challenge writing. My sister challenged me last week since I had to go out-of-town for a week and that I had never seen the show "Castle." The challenge was to read the script of Castle, (one she sent me-4.01 "Rise") and to take one moment that the characters share with each other. she liked this episode, cause "Castle" confesses his love for "Beckett" but she says "Beckett", recovered from her gun shot a little to quickly (within a chimerical break). I told her what if she fell into a coma, then what? She loved the idea and this is where my story "secrets in my heart" came from. but when I told her I was almost done she sent me another script (4.23) so I'm working on that one too. so here is my 1st story it takes place right after they wheel her back to surgery. remember I've never seen the show so be kind to me, but I love to know how I'm doing on it.

disclaimer: do not own "Castle" characters.

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Secrets in my heart
by BCastle (named after my neighbor's dog-that's another story in its self)
Dec 5th 2012

Chapter 1

Hospital: afternoon

"If she dies this will all be on you." yells Josh, who puts his hands on Castle's shoulders slamming him into the wall of the hospital. Then storms off down the hall, passing the gathering of Beckett's friends.
The picture on the wall falls on Castle's head, "ow." he cries out rubbing his head. The words Josh said to him repeats in his head. "she dies it's all on you." Castle turns to face Beckett's friends.

"He's right you know. This is all my fault...if I had just."

"Richard you can't blame yourself." his mother cries out, standing next to his daughter, Alexis.

"But if I wasn't there."

"She might have died right then." Martha walks up to her son, "Listen son,"

Just then Dr. Kovaks starts towards them with a grim look. Not one that any of them want to see. A look of despair, failure. Castle knew that look, it wasn't going to be good news about his partner Beckett. He sighs, hoping that he didn't just...get her killed.

"How is she?" Mr Beckett, Kate's father asks with a shaky voice. "Is she going to make it?" he swallows fearing the worst. He couldn't believe that this was happening to his family all over again. He blinks as he waits for the news...the news that would change his life...their lives forever.

"These next few hours are crucial."

"Can I see my daughter?" he quietly asks.

"She just got out of surgery, but during surgery..."

"Yes," he interrupts the Dr, then swallows.

"She experienced cardiac arrest. Now, we were able to get her heart beating again on its own," oh god here it comes, my daughters...no! he's mind screams. how am I?

"Right now she's fine, so let's get her settled frist then you and only you can see her. I don't want to many visitors right now."
that was close Castle's mind was relieved that she was going to be okay, but then the words "only you Mr. Beckett, can see her." registered. His heart sank. He couldn't even see her. How do I know...

The dr looks over the Jim's shoulder, "The rest of you go home and get some rest."

"Home is the last place I'm going." Esposito shouts.

"Me too." Ryan glances at Esposito then whispers, "where are we going?"

"To catch a this son-of-a-" he twitches his head, "you know." Castle looks at his mother without saying another word. Martha nods. She knows that look, she's seen it to many times since Castle took the job of following Beckett's every move.

"Go go, we'll be fine,"

"Are you sure mother?"

"I'll take Alexis home." The boys run off.

"Alexis," Martha calls as she looks around the crowd that was dwindling down in size, now that the Dr talk to everyone.

"I wanna stay," Alexis pleas, for she was getting use to having Beckett around, even liking her. She would never tell her dad that though. She still wanted her dad all to herself but it was good to know that Beckett would be a go to person, or at least she was hoping that she would be. Someone not like her mother, who could care less, what Alexis did. Alexis was always second to her mother's job. Alexis just wanted a girlfriend. Someone older that she could talk to and she thought that, that might be Beckett. She sighs, But what if...her world was changing again. A tear slid down the young girl's face.

"I know that you're upset dear. So we...," her grandmother starts to say then pauses, to think. "We can stay a little while," her grandmother took her into a hug. "It's all going to work out." That's when she saw Mr. Beckett pacing the waiting room. "I'll be..."

"I can't lose my little girl too." Martha leads him to a chair, "I lost my wife to this mess and now she might be gone to. I just..".he sniffs. He glances up at Martha through his tears. He could only see a blurry figure standing by him. "Mr. Castle knows that I don't blame him right, I just..."

"Richard blames himself, but..."

"Katie she... she always had a mind of her own. I knew in this line of work something might go wrong..." He let out a sigh and blinks tears away. Martha sits down beside him on the couch.

"You're never prepared for it." Jim continues.

"I'm not either, I couldn't imagine Richard...or what he's going through. He..."

"He's falling for her...I know, I see it in his eyes..." the two talked for a while.

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Precinct:

Castle wakes up from his hunched over position on Ryan's desk. His cell phone rings. He turns around to see Kate's empty desk. Kate...he whispers.

I just want this to be a bad dream Kate I...his phone rings again, snapping him back. "Castle," he answers more groggy then he intended to. The voice on the phone almost made him fall out of his chair."Wait I'm on my way."

Hospital:

Castle racing in, "Where," he shouts to the nurses at the front desk. They point down the hall. Running down the hall he nearly slides into Josh, who puts his hands up. "whoa, there. not you."

"A nurse called me told me to get down here now." Josh still has his hands on Castle, preventing him access to Beckett's room. "Get your hands off me!"

"Or what writer boy?"

"Enough break it up." Mr. Beckett hollers at the two men.

"Yeah, go home, you've done enough." Josh shouts.

"Me go home, what about you?" dirty looks were exchanged. The tension between the men was escalating and quick.

"Enough," Mr. Beckett comes between them. He stars at Castle, who made a face. He turns to walk away. but why should I? He watches as
Josh follows them into Beckett's room. He steps up to follow them, and Josh slams the door in Castle's face.

"And don't come back," he heard Josh's voice ring out.
Castle just stood there outside Beckett door. He could only watch now. Josh wasn't going to let him get any closer to her.

"Damn you Josh," he balls his hands into fits, "You are going to pay for that." Castle curses under his breath, he didn't want to cause another scene and get kicked out for good.

a nurse walks by smiling. Castle's eyebrows went up at the thought. I could just walk in with them. Josh looks up to see Castle still standing around.

"I thought I told you to leave!"

"I can visit if I want to." his voice getting louder, "You just said that I couldn't be in her room. Not out here." Castle was losing his cool with this guy...what gives him the right to treat me Richard Castle this way.

Castle wanted to punch him in the face so bad. Not here, he had to remind himself, but if he keeps pushing at my nervous than I will not be responsible for what I do next. Now how to get rid of this guy, other than killing him, which I might want to do. um...

Castle starts to walk up and down the hallway getting glances of Beckett. Praying that she will be okay. This is not right I...Wake up Becket and tell me what to do? I should be the one in there...with you. I'm the one...

what? his mind asks, she never said she did
she didn't have the chance.
he argued with himself. Now I may never know.

Josh on his cellphone comes rushing by.

"Don't even think it." he yells, covering his phone, "If you do, I'll have you thrown out of this hospital for good." He pushes Castle on purpose as he went by. That was the last straw. Castle had enough of this guy. I got to get rid of that...that thing. But how?

Nurses were talking among themselves about how the new renovations on the west wing were coming along.
"Renovations," Castle thought.

"That new wing is going to be awesome," A nurse answers his thought.
If it's still under construction then...that means no one will be down there. um...An evil grin came across his face. I think I've got the perfect plan. one that Beckett...well we will worry about that later. Now to put it into action.

To be continued...

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