The sandwich is changed.
I feel it in the butter.
I feel it in the bread.
I smell it in the CHEESE.
Much that once was fresh, is mouldy,
For none now live who have eaten it.
It began with the forging of the great fridges.
3 were given to elves, immortal, wisest and fattest of all beings.
7, to the dwarf-lords, great miners and sandwich makers of the school
canteens.
And 9, 9 fridges were gifted to the race of men, who above all else, desire
to stuff their faces.
For within these fridges was bound the strength and will to govern each
bakery.
But they were all of them deceived, for another fridge was made.
In the city of London in the fires of Mount Hotpoint, some freak forged, in
secret, a master fridge, to control all others. And into this fridge he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all bakeries- 1 fridge to rule them all. 1 by 1, the free lands of Middle Fridge fell to the power of the great fridge. But there were some who defrosted. A last alliance of men and anonymous evil mutant chickens marched against the armies of London, and on the slopes of Mount Hotpoint, they fought for the freedom of Middle Fridge. Victory was near- But the power of the fridge could not be undone. It was in this moment that Fridgedor, son of the great high cheesemaker, took up his fathers churn. Some freak, enemy of the free peoples of Middle Fridge, was defrosted. The fridge passed to Fridgedor, who had this one chance to destroy refridgeration forever. But the hearts of men (and anonymous evil mutant chickens) are easily corrupted, and the fridge of power has a will of its own. It betrayed him, to his death. And some things that should have been defrosted, were left in a bin in Surrey, along with a pork pie. History became Legend. Legend became Myth. And for 2 and a half thousand years, the fridge passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer. The fridge came to the creature Creamum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Fridgy Mountains - and there it gave him a particularly nasty bout of hypothermia. The fridge brought to Creamum unnatural long coldness. For 500 years it froze him slowly, and in the gloom of Creamum's lair, it waited. Darkness crept back into the lettuce of the sandwich. Rumour grew of a shadow in the butter. Whispers of the cheese brought about a mouldy fear. And the fridge of power perceived. It's time had now come. It abandoned the frozen Creamum. But something happened then, that the fridge did not intend. It was purchased from Ebay by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A biscuit - Buttery Spreadins of Brie. For time will soon come when biscuits will shape the diets of all.
So, you may ask, what happened to the anonymous evil mutant chickens? They were sold to Tesco, where they underwent a very nasty fate. They were put in a deep freezer, where they were sold off and served as a rather unusual (and whiskery) Sunday lunch!
secret, a master fridge, to control all others. And into this fridge he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all bakeries- 1 fridge to rule them all. 1 by 1, the free lands of Middle Fridge fell to the power of the great fridge. But there were some who defrosted. A last alliance of men and anonymous evil mutant chickens marched against the armies of London, and on the slopes of Mount Hotpoint, they fought for the freedom of Middle Fridge. Victory was near- But the power of the fridge could not be undone. It was in this moment that Fridgedor, son of the great high cheesemaker, took up his fathers churn. Some freak, enemy of the free peoples of Middle Fridge, was defrosted. The fridge passed to Fridgedor, who had this one chance to destroy refridgeration forever. But the hearts of men (and anonymous evil mutant chickens) are easily corrupted, and the fridge of power has a will of its own. It betrayed him, to his death. And some things that should have been defrosted, were left in a bin in Surrey, along with a pork pie. History became Legend. Legend became Myth. And for 2 and a half thousand years, the fridge passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer. The fridge came to the creature Creamum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Fridgy Mountains - and there it gave him a particularly nasty bout of hypothermia. The fridge brought to Creamum unnatural long coldness. For 500 years it froze him slowly, and in the gloom of Creamum's lair, it waited. Darkness crept back into the lettuce of the sandwich. Rumour grew of a shadow in the butter. Whispers of the cheese brought about a mouldy fear. And the fridge of power perceived. It's time had now come. It abandoned the frozen Creamum. But something happened then, that the fridge did not intend. It was purchased from Ebay by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A biscuit - Buttery Spreadins of Brie. For time will soon come when biscuits will shape the diets of all.
So, you may ask, what happened to the anonymous evil mutant chickens? They were sold to Tesco, where they underwent a very nasty fate. They were put in a deep freezer, where they were sold off and served as a rather unusual (and whiskery) Sunday lunch!