How are babies made?
Disclaimer: If I was Rick Riordan I wouldn't have to use a disclaimer, would I?
Percy was waddling next to Sally licking a blue lollypop. His little fingers were wrapped around her hand and his hat was slightly wonky. Yet he was happy, like most children were in the countdown to Christmas.
Sally had just taken him for a walk around Central Park. It always had a strange majestic feel to it in the winter. Flakes of snow made it seem like a Winter Wonderland. Sally could never take Percy to a place where it was a Winter Wonderland; she could never afford it, but Central Park was the next best thing.
It was freezing. The bitter wind numbed Sally's cheeks and Percy was looking like a human version of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. She tugged her coat so part of it was around Percy.
They walked passed a young couple who were laughing and sharing jokes, a baby tolled along in a pushchair, it had startling blue eyes and rosy cheeks from the cold. It was a pretty baby, perhaps not as lovely as Percy, but pretty nonetheless. Percy seemed to notice the baby too.
That's when he asked the question that all mothers dread.
"Mom?" He paused, hesitating for a moments, "How are babies made?"
Sally stared at Percy for a moment. She was expecting him to ask it at one point, but she presumed he'd be seven or eight, not four. Then she would have said a near truth, there would have been less explain to do and she didn't want to explain what lady genitals were. Especially not to a four year old who was likely to bring it up in a supermarket, or even worse; Gabe.
"A special kiss Percy," She breathed. She wasn't lying as such; kissing was usually involved, but just not the whole story.
"What kind of a special kiss?" He asked, his sea green eyes widening.
"Just a very special one," Sally replied.
"Oh," he nodded his head and carried on being the carefree child he was.
At least you didn't use the flower and bee analogy, Sally comforted herself.
Gabe strolled in to the kitchen smelling like a mixture of liquor, body odour and cigarettes. Sally hated that smell, but it was to protect Percy. She would go to the worlds end to protect her little boy.
He kissed her on the lips and like every time she put up with it and restrained herself to resist. Sometimes the protection Poseidon had offered her so many years ago was tempting, so incredibly tempting.
She didn't know that Percy, who was six years of age, was staring at her the whole time looking fascinated.
A few weeks later Sally was pulling out contents from the fridge, it was hard to see what there was with all the beer and the dip crowding the rest of the ingredients. But she managed to find chicken so Percy and her would have that while Gabe was around one of his friends. It was always better when he was out.
Percy came home from school putting his rucksack down and immediately attacking the cookie jar. Sally was amazed how much the boy could eat, he seemed to eat an ocean load of food and never managed to put on any weight.
Sally was expecting Percy to ask what was for dinner, it was his usual question, but instead he asked, "You're not pregnant, are you mom?"
"I'm sorry Percy, what did you say?" Sally was pretty sure she heard that wrong. Why would he think that? Maybe he just wanted another sibling; it was hard being an only child sometimes.
"Never mind," He said and went off in to his room and Sally could have sworn she heard him mumble about 'special kisses'.
Percy looked down at the floor and refused to have eye contact with Sally. That's when she knew something wasn't right, after having him for eight years, she knew him like the back of her hand, "Percy, what's wrong?"
"I did something bad," Percy said.
Not again. Sally knew Percy had difficulty at school with dyslexia and ADHD and sometimes he got in arguments with other kids. That usually ended with a mysterious water related incident happening afterwards which got him expelled.
Sending to Percy to other schools was a lot of time and effort and he had only been at the school for a week, "Percy, I'm sure it wasn't that bad."
What Percy said next came out like a tsunami wave, "Well I made a friend called Brad and he dared me to kiss Emily on the cheek, and I didn't back down or I would've looked like a pansycake."
Sally just looked at Percy. She had no idea what he was going on about, "So you kissed Emily?"
"Yeah," Percy said as if he did the worst thing in the world.
And then it clicked. Sally remembered the conversation she had with Percy four years ago, "You can only do the special kiss when you're older."
Percy breathed a sigh of relief, "So what's for dinner?"
Percy sat at the back next to Grover. He liked the spot a lot as it was an excellent space to send spitballs flying at Nancy Bobofit. A little bit of revenge for bullying him and his best friend.
His teaches, Mrs Crowe walked in. She was old, ugly and had a hunched back and the most distracting mole on her face. She hated Percy since his French pronunciation was the worst thing she ever heard. Percy didn't even think it was that bad.
"We won't be learning any French today," she announced, and like a cliché middle school there were murmurings of cheering, "It's scheduled we have to watch this video."
Please don't tell us we don't have to take notes, Percy crossed his fingers and prayed to the Gods above. The teacher didn't mention anything after that, so Percy presumed it was safe not to take notes.
The film flashed up in the small TV in the room and in orange writing it said, 'How babies are made' and then people flashed on the screen.
Percy was an expert at this.
He watched the video, looking slightly horrified. It turned out what his Mom said was wrong, very wrong.
So this was to make up for the lack of Percy and Sally interaction in the Heroes of Olympus and well little four year old Percy is adorable.