Here is my auction story for the winner coffeecoffeecoffee! She wanted a Luke's Dark Day story so here it is. I hope everyone enjoys this. Please review and let me know. Yes, some dialog is taken from "But Not As Cute As Pushkin", but the rest is all me.
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. I am only here to entertain you.
Bringing Light To A Dark Day
Lorelai padded around the darkened diner, wearing nothing but one of Luke's flannels. At least this time she was assured of not giving the customers a free show. The blinds were closed, as was the diner, Luke having retired upstairs for the night. She hummed softly to herself, as she searched under assorted glass covers. Donuts? Nah. She turned to the pie case behind her and opened the door. Her thoughts wandered to a strange conversation she'd had earlier with Miss. Patty in front of Pasquale's Shoe Repair.
Patty was mentioning the party she was planning for her fortieth anniversary in the business we call 'show'. Lorelai was excited about going and even promised to drag Luke along.
"Oh, Luke won't come," Patty stated.
"Sure he will," Lorelai assured her. "I have very effective methods of persuasion. They include extremely high heels and all of Jessica Simpson's bath products."
"No, honey, the party's on Tuesday, the thirtieth," Patty affirmed.
"So," Lorelai replied, not really getting the connection.
"So, the thirtieth is the 'dark day'," Patty stated with an air of mystery.
"What 'dark day'?" Lorelai inquired, dropping her plastic bag filled with shoes to be repaired.
"Luke's 'dark day'. The day he disappears," Patty explained.
"Disappears? Where?" Lorelai was trying to recall anything about a 'dark day' in Luke's life.
"Nobody knows," Patty informed her. "Nobody knows where he goes or what he does. All we know is not to try and find him."
"Why didn't I know about this?" Lorelai marveled, more to herself than anything.
"I don't know, honey, everyone else does," Patty said smiling. "Anyhow, you come yourself okay? Eight o'clock."
"I'll be there," Lorelai said, picking up her bag of shoes. "See you on Tuesday."
She was kidding, right? Lorelai frowned, as she thought about whether she'd noticed him being gone each November Thirtieth. She couldn't decide so she grabbed both an apple and a cherry pie from the pie case and shut the door with her elbow. Balancing a pie on each palm, she trudged up the stairs to Luke's apartment. She entered the apartment and shut the door with her foot. Luke was grabbing his nightly water from the kitchen. He seemed fine. Lorelai could only hope that Patty was wrong about the 'dark day'.
Having decided that now was as good a time as any, Lorelai mentioned Patty's anniversary party. Luke seemed receptive to it. He was definitely not immune to her powers of persuasion, until she mentioned the party being on Tuesday the Thirtieth that is. His face grew serious and he quickly made an excuse about having a standing bank appointment in Woodbury that day. He reached up and turned off the light, leaving Lorelai sitting up against the pillows, lost in thought. A quick peck on the lips and Luke rolled over on his side, pulling the blanket up. Banks aren't open at night.
Lorelai sighed and tossed off the covers. She padded into the kitchen and put the remains of the pie in Luke's fridge. She wasn't hungry anymore. Luke was hiding something from her and she was determined to find out what it was. After washing her fork in the sink, she filled a clean glass with water, taking big gulps to wash down the remnants of her dessert. She glanced over at the bed and noticed that Luke hadn't stirred from the position he was in. She assumed he was sound asleep already. She crossed the room and climbed back into bed. She'd find out Luke's secret one way or another.
Monday morning, Lorelai was in the Dragonfly's library, putting away books. She was still pondering the mystery of Luke's dark day. A thought occurred to her…Rory would know! Rory was meticulous in recording what Lorelai often viewed as useless bits of info in her diaries. Rory had kept a journal of her life ever since she could write. Most of her diaries were cataloged in a box, in chronological order of course, and Lorelai figured her daughter already had enough life experiences to out do Laura Ingalls Wilder in books about her life. She pulled out her cell and dialed her freakishly detail oriented daughter.
"Question," Lorelai announced when Rory answered the phone. "Have you heard anything about Luke's 'dark day'?"
"His what?" Rory responded, not too surprised by her mother's odd trains of thought.
"Well, one day a year, he apparently has a 'dark day'," Lorelai continued, placing a hard covered book on a shelf. "No one knows where he goes or what he does. He just disappears."
"I've heard nothing about this," Rory acknowledged.
"Okay, well, did we see him on November Thirtieth last year?" Lorelai inquired.
"How am I supposed to know?" Rory replied, slightly defensively.
"Because you keep all those crazy Bob Graham kind of notebooks," Lorelai stated. "Eight a.m., got up. Eight fifteen, brushed teeth. Eight twenty-five, had impure thoughts. Eight thirty-six, sent dwarves off to work."
"I don't have my diaries from last November on me at the moment," Rory stated.
"But you have them," Lorelai pressed on.
"Yes," Rory replied, somewhat embarrassed.
"And they will contain where we ate breakfast that morning," Lorelai pushed further.
"Yes," Rory replied. Lorelai could practically hear her daughter cringe on the other end of the phone.
"I love my little circus freak," Lorelai gushed, with a big smile on her face.
"I'll call you later," Rory replied.
Lorelai was still determined to find out the source of Luke's 'dark day'. She even asked Kirk about it. The strange man was trying desperately to sell her bathtub appliqués, which she had no intention of buying, but listened to him patiently, hoping to coerce any info from him. Unfortunately, all Kirk could contribute was that Luke did indeed have a 'dark day' every year and it went back a long time. Kirk figured that Luke had a touch of darkness about him, actually more than a touch, more like he was grabbed. Says the man who lives with his mother and has five hundred jobs, Lorelai added silently in her head. She was getting nowhere and it was beginning to frustrate her.
Later that day, Lorelai decided to run an errand. She drove down a street and spotted Luke and Mrs. Thompson in her driveway. Luke appeared to be in a full on rant, pacing back and forth, arms flinging out occasionally to make his point. She pulled the Jeep over and trotted up to them. She listened in shock as poor Mrs. Thompson relayed the story of how she was going into a nursing home and needed Luke to move his boat from her garage, as she'd rented it out, along with her house. Luke continued to rage about having one week to move his father's boat. The tiny old woman looked like she was about to fall over from the force of Luke's anger alone!
Lorelai played the mediator, as she tried in vain to calm Luke down. He didn't seem to care that the elderly woman had no choice but to unload his father's boat. She wasn't trying to be mean. After all, Luke had been renting her garage for fifteen years to store the boat, and his father had paid her for twenty years before that. Now he was insistent upon getting rid of the boat. Lorelai felt bad for him. That old half finished boat must have meant something to him, if he held on to it for so many years.
She needed to get back to the Inn and she offered Luke a ride back to the diner. He was sullen for most of the ride. She could see the little muscle working in his jaw and imagined him replaying the whole ordeal with Mrs. Thompson in his head. His brow was furrowed and he suddenly looked tired. When she pulled up in front of the diner, Luke finally spoke.
"Tomorrow is the anniversary of my dad's death," he said softly.
"Oh- oh hon…" Lorelai replied sympathetically.
"And every year on that anniversary…I disappear," Luke stated mournfully. "I don't work. I don't talk to anyone. I get in a kind of funk. It's like…um…"
"You have a dark day," Lorelai finished for him.
"Yeah, I have a dark day," Luke affirmed. "I thought I should tell you this because we're in a relationship, and I thought you might wonder why I suddenly don't answer the phone, or I'm not around. Why you can't flip your hair and con me into going to Miss. Patty's crazy anniversary party."
Lorelai smiled sweetly. "The hair flip is that effective, huh?"
"Combine that with your black dress you could probably get me to be your backup dancer," Luke retorted.
"I'll remember that," Lorelai replied, amused that her powers of persuasion were that effective.
"I've never told anyone this before," Luke continued. "I don't really like to talk about it."
"I guess that explains the thing with Mrs. Thompson," Lorelai pondered.
"Yeah, some timing, her springing this boat thing on me now," Luke snorted. "I'll apologize to her." He sighed, and was quiet for a moment, before speaking again, softly. "You know, I never finished that boat. It's been sitting there half done for fifteen years."
"Hey, Luke, don't you think you might have been a little hasty about the boat decision?" Lorelai questioned. "I mean, you were upset and I bet someday you're going to be really sorry you don't have that boat anymore."
"No, it's better she gets rid of the thing now," Luke replied, gazing out the window.
"But…," Lorelai tried to interject.
"I haven't even looked at that boat since my dad got sick. Not a glance, nothing."
"Even more reason," Lorelai coaxed.
"If it's gone, then I don't have to deal with it," Luke reasoned. "It's time to move on, you know?"
"But…," Lorelai wanted to say more, but Luke cut her off.
"I'm fine. Really. Thanks for the ride."
"Any time," Lorelai answered. Luke smiled and they kissed briefly, before he got out of the Jeep and headed toward the diner.
Lorelai watched him go, blinking back tears. Luke's 'dark day' was about his father's death. She should have figured it out sooner. She knew his father died a long time ago, and his mother died when he was still a boy. He had no parents now. As much as she hated to admit it, Lorelai knew that if she'd lost both her parents, she'd feel empty inside and would miss them. She had to do something to brighten up Luke's dark day. An idea occurred to her and she peeled away from the curb and sped toward the Dragonfly.
Once at the Inn, she informed Sookie to meet her at her house in an hour. She needed her help. Sookie tried to question Lorelai further, but the tall brunette was out the door again before she could turn around. Sookie shrugged her shoulders and went about prepping the dinner menu. Lorelai, on the other hand, set out to put her plan in action.
When Sookie finally arrived, Lorelai was standing in her front yard, surrounded by an assortment of junk. She was exhausted! Never in her life did she have to use her bargaining skills as proficiently to get what she wanted! She ended up with a lot more. All she wanted was to get Luke's boat from Mrs. Thompson, but apparently the sweet old lady was still reeling from Luke's tirade earlier. She'd had another offer for the boat, plus the contents of the garage. Lorelai only wanted the boat, but Mrs. Thompson wouldn't let it go unless she took the rest of the stuff too. Lorelai caved, paying much more than the boat and Mrs. Thompson's junk was worth, and now the boat was in her garage and the yard looked like Fred Sanford lived there.
She looked over to her garage where the bow of the boat protruded from the partially closed doors. She would have to conceal it better than that, if she wanted to hide it from Luke until a better storage place could be found. She enlisted Sookie's aid in dragging over a large potted tree and setting it in front of the obvious boat protrusion. That one tree didn't cut it as camouflage and Lorelai stated that she'd need more trees. Sookie offered to lend her some of Jackson's potted trees and Lorelai gladly accepted.
Later that evening, Lorelai limped up her cluttered front porch steps, too tired to move the detritus from her path, and entered the Crapshack. She yanked her shoes off in the foyer and rubbed her sore feet. After dropping her purse and keys on the table, she dragged herself upstairs for a hot bath to soothe her aching muscles. She was covered in tiny scratches and sap from the trees, mingled with dirt and sweat. What was she thinking, getting more trees to put in front of the garage doors! She undressed, as the tub filled, and finally sank down into the lavender scented bubble filled tub.
After waiting for Jackson to dose off for his after dinner nap, Sookie strapped Davey in his car seat and loaded him in Jackson's truck. Lorelai had to actually lift the trees into the bed of the truck, as Sookie was pregnant. They were a lot heavier than she thought! She lost her grip on one tree and it fell over, knocking Lorelai out of the back of the truck. Luckily her ass broke her fall, and a clump of dirt from the pot landed on her head and down her shirt, adding insult to injury. Of course, Sookie found it hysterical and doubled over with laughter before finally helping her friend up.
I nearly broke my ass for you, Luke! I hope you appreciate it. Lorelai shifted her bruised butt and grabbed a cloth. She ran the cloth over her sore muscles, removing the grime of the day. After washing her face, she sank under the water, wetting her hair thoroughly, before applying shampoo to her palm. As she worked it into her hair, she massaged her scalp, feeling the tension dissipate in the fruity scented lather. She rinsed her hair and leaned back in the tub to soak.
She closed her eyes and a picture formed in her mind's eye. She could see the anger on Luke's face, as he fought with Mrs. Thompson over his father's boat. She could see that anger turn to resignation when Luke threw up his arms and made the decision to give up the boat. She could also see something behind that anger and resignation…pain. It was clearly evident when he finally confessed his 'dark day' secret to her on the way back to the diner. The haunted look in his eyes was heartbreaking and Lorelai knew she had to do something. She hoped that in saving his dad's boat that he would find some absolution to the years of unresolved grief caused by losing his dad.
After draining the tub, Lorelai got out and reached for a towel to dry herself with. It had been one long exhausting day and she just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. She hadn't heard from Luke since she dropped him at the diner, so she figured he was just as spent from his ordeal today. She pulled on a pair of warm pajamas, brushed her teeth and climbed into bed. It was still early and, as worn out as she was, Lorelai couldn't fall asleep. She wondered what Luke would do tomorrow on his 'dark day'. Where would he go? Why wouldn't he share it with her? If she couldn't cheer him up, she could offer him comfort at least. Eventually, her worried thoughts succumbed to the fatigue and she fell asleep.
True to his word, Luke wasn't around on his 'dark day'. The diner was closed and no one complained. Lorelai tried to call his cell to give him a few words of support, but ended up leaving those heartfelt words on his voicemail. He didn't answer his house phone either. Lorelai sighed, feeling more than a little left out. After all, they were in a relationship. When you're in a relationship, you lean on your partner for support in tough times. Luke had been there for her so many times. She couldn't count the times she'd leaned on him for support or even blubbered her troubles to him. Now he was avoiding her, when he needed her most, and it hurt. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and headed to the Dragonfly. It was going to be a long day. A long dark day. She needed to keep her mind off Luke and work would definitely do that. She was beginning to get sucked into his 'dark day' and she knew they'd have to talk about it eventually.
Luke Danes was an uncomplicated man. At least that's what he projected to the world. He kept to himself most of the time, preferring the solitude of his own thoughts to the yammering of other people. Today especially, he wanted nothing to do with people. He was actually surprised that everyone hadn't figured out that his 'dark day' was coincidentally the day his father died. Were they all dense? Everyone knew that William Danes was ill. He was a fixture in town and everyone needed something from his hardware store sooner or later. They all knew when William Danes passed away. Most of the town was at his father's funeral. And yet they couldn't associate November Thirtieth, his 'dark day,' with the day of his father's passing! Maybe it was just as well. He didn't want the attention anyway.
It was sunny and cold. How fitting. Luke pulled the zipper up further on his jacket and stood with his hands in his pockets. He almost wished it was cloudy to match his mood, but at least the sun offered some warmth, if not any improvement in his mood. He sighed and stared down at the headstone in front of him. Engraved on it were his parents' names and their dates of birth and death. Every year he made a trip to the old cemetery just to feel connected to them. And every year he felt the sting of his guilt and anger as fresh as the day it took hold of him.
He would start the day with a trip to the cemetery, followed by a trip out to his dad's cabin in the woods. Sometimes he would fish. Most of the time he would just wander around the property and the old cabin reminiscing. He sighed again, pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair, before placing the cap back on his head. He cleared his throat and looked around, making sure no one was watching.
"Hey Dad. It's me. Yeah, it's that time of the year again," Luke spoke softly, as he shifted from foot to foot. "I just wanted to tell you that I have to let your boat go. I can't store it anymore, and Mrs. Thompson is goin' in a nursing home or somethin', so I told her to get rid of it. I haven't even looked at it in fifteen years. Yeah, I know…if you were here you'd smack me upside the head for getting' rid of your boat, but it's too much. Too many memories of helpin' you work on it. You kept promising to take me out fishing when it was done. Well…that never happened. Anyway, I just thought you should know. I miss you dad. Mom too. Look…I gotta go before one of these nut jobs from town spot me talkin' to myself."
Luke took a few steps over to the headstone and ran his hand across the top. He shook his head and gave a sad little smile. He then walked away with his head down and made his way back to his truck. He drove silently to the cabin, not even the radio could soothe him. He didn't take his fishing pole or tackle box. He didn't feel like fishing this year. He didn't want to think. The dull ache that clenched his stomach all morning was spreading to his chest. He just wanted to be alone.
When Luke returned to Stars Hollow, the sun was low in the sky. He parked his truck behind the diner, and went in the back door, so no one would see him. Once in the shelter of his apartment, Luke tossed his coat over a kitchen chair, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and sat down on the couch. He was intent on having a few beers to numb the pain and falling asleep in front of the T.V. He twisted the cap off and tossed it on the coffee table. As he took a long pull on the cold beer, he noticed a pair of glasses sitting on the table. He set the bottle down and picked up the glasses to inspect them. They were Lorelai's. He rolled his eyes. It wasn't the first time she'd left things at his place that she needed later and panicked over. He finished off his beer, grabbed his coat, and headed out to his truck.
Lorelai was putting the finishing touches on her ensemble for Patty's party when her phone rang. It was Rory panicking over losing the Chilton student she was supposed to be giving a tour of Yale. The impulsive girl had wandered away from the Fro Yo social and now Rory couldn't find her. Lorelai did her best to give her daughter suggestions on where a sixteen-year-old girl might go on a college campus. She was startled by a loud noise coming from her porch, followed by a yelp of pain. She hung up with Rory and went outside to investigate.
There was Luke, bending over, rubbing his leg. Apparently, he'd smashed his leg on a Thigh Master, tripped and smashed his leg on another Thigh Master. He sounded annoyed, as he wondered why she had so much crap on her lawn and steps. She hadn't found a place to put everything yet and inwardly cringed, as she joked and made excuses. When he noticed her bulging garage doors, she panicked and did her best to deter him from investigating further. It was too late. He shoved the trees aside and his eyes widened in shock.
"What is this?" he demanded. She could see the vein bulging in his forehead, as he tried to reign in his temper.
"It's your boat," Lorelai replied, flinching slightly as Luke sucked in a breath.
"I thought I told her to get rid of this boat," Luke fumed incredulously.
"She did," Lorelai explained. "She sold it to me, along with all her other crap. She made quite a killing actually. I just couldn't stand the idea that you might someday regret giving this boat away."
"Even though I said I wanted it gone," Luke clarified. The muscle in his jaw jumped as he clenched his teeth together.
"Yes, I know, but you were upset," Lorelai began.
"Oh, I was cranky. Now I'm upset," Luke stormed, his voice rising with his temper.
"Sorry. I just thought…" Lorelai said softly.
"You thought about you," Luke interjected. "You thought about you and how you'd feel! You didn't think about me, or the fact that I said I wanted to get rid of this damn boat! I mean, I said it, Lorelai. I said it, you heard it, and you ignored it!"
"Because I didn't want you…"
"You had no respect for what I wanted," Luke growled. "This was my dad. This was his boat and this decision was mine! This was not yours!"
"I know," Lorelai conceded.
"This is who I am," Luke ranted. "I don't want to hang on to things, or stare at things."
"Except my horoscope, which is absolutely the wrong thing to bring up right now. I'm sorry." Lorelai could feel her chest tightening and a queasy feeling in her gut.
"I'm getting out of here," Luke snapped, preparing to bolt.
"No, I'm sorry," Lorelai begged. "Please. Stay and yell at me."
"Why, what's the point?" Luke yelled. "You don't listen to anything I say anyhow!"
Luke stormed off, leaving Lorelai feeling like crap. She tried to do something nice for Luke and it blew up in her face. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself and brushed the tears from her cheeks with her fingertips. She knew Luke had a temper. Hell, she delighted in raising his cockles on numerous occasions. But this was more than anger. He was mean and hurtful and it broke Lorelai's heart. She choked back a sob and ran into the house to pull herself together before heading to Patty's party.
The party was in full swing but Lorelai's heart just wasn't in it. She put on a smile, but her thoughts were on Luke. Maybe a few glasses of Patty's punch would make her forget her transgression. Or at least make her not care for a few hours. Her head was already pounding from her run in with Luke earlier, and her stomach was still in knots, but it was nothing compared to the ache in her heart.
Every year since his father died, Luke mourned the day of his passing. Every year for fifteen years. What kind of grief could someone hold inside for so many years? They had been friends for years, and yet Luke never shared that side of himself. Now that they were in an intimate relationship, he was still holding back. He did admit to her that he had a 'dark day' and why, but getting anything else out of him was like pulling teeth. As she made small talk with Sookie, she looked out a window and noticed Luke pacing outside the dance studio. She pulled on her coat and went outside.
"See, there's a reason why I stay away from people on this particular day," Luke stated softly. "It's 'cause I kind of suck."
He didn't look angry anymore. His face softened into a small apologetic smile.
"Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry," Lorelai replied. "I should have listened to you. I should have stayed out of it. You were right, I didn't think. I mean, I didn't think like you would think. I thought like I would think. And my thinking is sometimes very, very wrong if you're not me, and occasionally if you are me."
Luke pulled her in and kissed her softly. "You just keep thinking like you'd think."
And then he smiled. It was wistful, and kind of sad, but a smile nonetheless. She asked him if he wanted to join the party inside, but he declined. She'd hoped that he would talk to her more but he wanted to be alone. She had to respect his wishes. She didn't want to cause him any more pain today. She watched him walk away, his shoulders still carrying that slump she'd seen earlier.
Luke felt a stirring inside him that he couldn't control. He found himself walking not toward the diner but toward Lorelai's house. He knew she'd be at the party for a while longer. He just wanted to see it. He moved the remainder of the potted trees from the front of the partially closed garage doors and pushed the doors open. There was his dad's boat, sitting in the darkened garage, like a silent sentinel of a past he had tried so hard to forget. It was covered in cobwebs and layers of dust. He ran his hand along the smooth surface of the bow, dragging cobwebs along in his wake.
As a boy, Luke spent many hours helping his dad sand the wood for the boat. He used sandpaper and lots of elbow grease. Luke ran his hand along the side of the boat. It was still as smooth as he remembered. When he was a teen, his dad showed him how to use power tools. He would patiently explain every detail to Luke, ensuring that his son donned the appropriate safety wear for each job. Luke spent many hours working on that boat with his dad. Sometimes his dad would talk animatedly about taking the finished boat up to the cabin to fish on the lake. Other times, they worked in comfortable silence.
Luke climbed up into the boat and kicked aside some debris. His dad taught him all about woodworking. He fingered the spokes of the helm that he made when he was sixteen. His dad was so proud of his son's craftsmanship and attention to detail. He attached the helm, even though the boat still had much work needed. Luke smiled to himself at the memory. He found a rag on the deck and began wiping the cobwebs and layers of dust and dirt that had accumulated over the past fifteen years.
That half finished boat had many memories including some very painful ones. Luke shuddered, as an all too vivid image burst through the confines of his subconscious. He gasped as a wave of gut wrenching sadness washed over him. It was the reason he hadn't so much as looked at his father's boat all these years. He sat back on the deck, leaning against the side of the boat, his palms pressed against his eyes. He didn't want to remember it, but there it was, unleashing images in his mind's eye that he couldn't ignore.
William Danes pulled the rope attached to a pulley. He was lifting a load of planks up into the boat to complete the deck. Luke rigged the planks so his dad could lift them. William was struggling as he heaved on the rope. Luke could see the sweat pouring down his dad's face and his shirt was drenched. He also appeared flushed. Luke offered to do the heavy lifting, seeing how exhausted his dad looked, but the stubborn William resisted, saying he was fine.
Suddenly William cried out and fell to the deck. The load of boards crashed to the floor below. Luke scrambled to get onboard and found his father in a heap. The man's face was now deathly white and clammy. He was vomiting and shaking. Fear gripped the younger Danes, as he struggled to stay calm. He jumped out of the boat and ran out into the street calling for help. He didn't want to leave his dad alone for a second. He quickly explained the situation to one of Mrs. Thompson's neighbors who called for an ambulance.
Luke couldn't breathe and found himself emptying the contents of his own stomach on Mrs. Thompson's front lawn. It was all so surreal. He rode in the ambulance with his dad to the hospital. He sat for hours, waiting for news. The sights and sounds of the hospital nauseated him. He couldn't get the image of his dad's pale, terrified face out of his brain. It was seared into his mind, along with the knowledge that his father, the man who could handle anything in life, was gripped in unrelenting fear and pain. And Luke felt absolutely helpless to ease that pain.
"Luke?" The voice was soft and concerned. "Are you okay?"
He hadn't even been aware of her presence until now. How long had she been there? He sat on the deck, his knees drawn up, elbows resting on them, and his palms pressed firmly on his forehead. He was shaking and queasy and Lorelai was there. She must have come home early from the party. Either that, or he'd lost track of time and it was much later than he thought. He didn't look up as she climbed into the boat. He felt her presence, as she sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her. He didn't even realize that he'd been crying until a ragged sob tore from his dry throat.
Luke pulled away from Lorelai's embrace, repulsed by his own weakness. He rubbed his red eyes and brushed the tears from his cheeks. He could feel Lorelai gently rubbing his arm, but he refused to look at her. He took a few moments to collect himself before facing her. He took her hands in his as he brought his gaze up to meet her eyes. He was met with a look of such tenderness from Lorelai. Her own eyes were moist with unshed tears, as she allowed him time to process seeing his father's boat after so many years.
"The last time I saw this boat was the day my dad had a massive heart attack," Luke rasped, his voice full of emotion. "I didn't even know he was sick. He said nothing to us. I just thought he was out of shape. I used to kid him about being an old man cause he'd get winded easily."
"Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry," Lorelai murmured, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "And here I thought I was doing something nice by saving your dad's boat. I thought it meant something to you."
"He collapsed right here on this deck," Luke muttered, nodding toward the bow. "He was trying to lift a load of wood on a pulley and just keeled over. I didn't know what to do. I went with him to the hospital. The doctor said he had congestive heart failure and had known about it for some time. His heart was finally giving out. I should've known. Why the hell didn't he tell me?"
Luke slammed his fist hard into the boat behind him in his anger. He ran his fingers through his hair, knocking off his baseball cap in the process. His breaths came in ragged puffs, strangled by the sobs he fought back. He swallowed hard and rubbed his scruffy cheeks. His hands were shaking, as he clenched and unclenched his fists.
"Luke, talk to me, please," Lorelai whispered, the tears she tried to hide now cascading down her cheeks.
"If I had known…I could have done something," Luke whispered brokenly. "I could've made sure he didn't overdo it. He was exhausted that day from working in the hardware store, but I wanted to work on the boat. We hadn't worked on it in a long time. Now I know why," Luke croaked out. "He had a friggin' heart attack because of me."
"Luke…no," Lorelai soothed, as she pulled him against her chest once more. "You didn't know he was sick. It's not your fault he had a heart attack. He knew how sick he was yet he chose to work on the boat. He wanted to be with you, don't you see?"
"He wasn't supposed to die, Lorelai," Luke moaned. "My mom died when Liz and I were kids. My dad was supposed to live to be an old man, to have grandkids and watch them grow up. He wasn't supposed to waste away in a damn hospital till his heart finally gave out! I did everything I was supposed to…I took care of the store while he was sick. I made sure the bills got paid. I took care of my dad but he never recovered from that heart attack. He only got worse. And I had to watch him slowly die in front of my eyes. I was there when he died, holding his hand. Liz didn't even show up! I couldn't let him die alone. I couldn't…"
This was so different from the previous years of his dark day. Lorelai was here holding him, sniffling back her tears and he couldn't hold back any longer. He broke down in her arms and cried for the father he'd lost, for the mother taken too soon, for the guilt he'd held onto for so many years. His broad shoulders shook, as silent sobs wracked his grief stricken frame. He thought he'd feel embarrassed, at the very least, for losing control, but instead he felt relief wrapped in the comfort of Lorelai's loving arms. He was glad that he decided to tell her about his dark day.
"I know you miss your dad, Luke, and your mom too for that matter, but you have to remember the time you had with them," Lorelai whispered into Luke's neck. "You have to hold onto all the good times and not dwell on the bad stuff. I bought this boat from Mrs. Thompson so you could have a part of your dad to remember the good times. Don't hang onto the pain of his death. Celebrate the life he lived. Instead of having a 'dark day' each year, have a day of good memories. You can start right now. Why don't we go inside where it's nice and warm? You can sleep over. We can snuggle up in bed and you can tell me stories about your parents and all the great times you had with them."
"How about I show you just how grateful I am to have you in my life instead," Luke murmured, sitting up and cupping her face. He kissed her passionately, and she reciprocated, as salty tears mingled with soft lips. He was beginning to feel better already. He stood up, helping Lorelai to her feet, and they climbed out of the boat. They headed back toward her house and straight up to the bedroom.
Later that night, two naked bodies lie entwined in bed, fully sated after tenderly making love. Lorelai rested her head on Luke chest, as he brushed a tendril of hair from her face. She could feel him relaxing, after the emotional day he'd had, and was relieved that she could help him through it. Luke was more than grateful for Lorelai's support.
"Did I ever tell you about the time my dad took me fishing when I was a kid, and I hit him in the head with the pole while casting my line, and he fell overboard?" Luke said, with a smile.
"No," Lorelai giggled, looking up at him. "Was he mad?"
"Oh yeah," Luke laughed. "The water was ice cold that day." The dark day had ended.