AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey there Psych fan girl…boy… er, person. My birth certificate says my name is Samantha Parker, but please for the love of all things pure and good in the universe, call me Sam. Your neighbors do it toooooooooooo! But that's neither here nor there. Anyways, My furry companion Drew and I-
*Drew: I'm not furry Sam!
*Sam: Okay buddy, whatever you say…where was I? Oh yeah, well Drew and I are going to share our awesome adventures with you guys through the art of writing. As if things weren't interesting enough for us at the LAPD, our commander decided that our "Skills would be better utilized at the Santa Barbra PD." Isn't that right old girl?
*Drew: Sam I swear, if you allude to me as being a dog one more time…
*Sam: Anyways, the very human Drew and I are planning to turn this into a series if we get a good enough feedback so reviews are always welcome! So until next time, See ya!
**Psych and its characters belong to Steve Franks and USA**
The young woman tried concentrating on the road in spite of her present worries. She and her best friend/coworker had been transferred from working as consultant detectives at the LAPD to the SBPD not even a week ago. Goodness, they still had yet to unpack their stuff and move into their rather unsavory apartment. She could just feel her blood pressure rising at the thought of unpacking everything herself since her new room mate would no doubt be preoccupied playing videogames. The duo had a few good years of private detective experience under their belts and were highly praised by their clients. Their methods may be a bit outlandish, but they always got the job done. All in all, she took pride in being a respectable, hardworking woman. In truth, there was really nothing too remarkable about her as an individual, but her friend on the other hand, was blessed with extraordinary observation and deductive skills. But Sam also had sort of a knack for getting into trouble and if not for her, who would keep Sam safe and out of trouble? Or keep Sam from making trouble for that matter. She had heard that a so-called "Psychic" had been solving a good amount of crimes in this area, and Sam, being a naturally competitive person, would no doubt take that as a challenge.
"Prius!" yelled Sam punching her in the arm, breaking her train of thought.
"Sam, how many times have I told you, there is no Prius apocalypse coming." Drew sighed obviously unamused. Sam noticed her friend's dismay and tried to keep a straight face, although the smirk that settled on her lips betrayed her.
"Hey, you still think that there's going to be a vending machine revolution…" muttered Sam.
"That's a valid assumption, Sa-"
"SQUIRREL!" Sam loudly interrupted.
"Squirrel?! Where!?" Drew exclaimed, ducking as if a squirrel would sneak up from the back seat and pull a knife to her throat. Drew had a hard time coping with squirrels ever since a visit to CSUN went terribly wrong… but that's another story for another time.
"SQUIRREL!" repeated Sam, this time taking the wheel to make a sharp turn, narrowly avoiding squashing a certain fuzzy creature. Now they were on a course for impact with a stop sign, Drew thought fast and tugged the wheel back just barely avoiding a collision and swiftly parallel parked the mini coop at the nearest sidewalk. The Santa Barbra police department was just a few blocks from where they were and she wasn't going to take any more chances with any other furry disturbances that may decide to appear.
"Were walking from here." Drew said as she tried to regain her composure.
"Agreed."
"Good morrow to you chief-eth Vick-eth of Santa Barbra-shshshshshire."
"Spencer, I don't have time for you shenanigans right now. I have to make a very important announcement." Vick said making her way past the fake psychic and his best friend, Gus.
"Is this about the new ICEE machine were installing in the lounge? Gus and I are very grateful. In fact we'd be absolutely overjoyed if you would also supply those colorful straws with the built in spoon on the tip." Shawn said with a certain seriousness to his voice.
"Don't you even think for a second that your gunna finish all the cherry and leave me with coke again, Shawn." Gus interjected.
"Wouldn't dream of it Gus."
"Damn right."
Completely disregarding the nonsense she was just confronted with, the chief made her way to the center of the station.
"Gather round people, I have an announcement!" Chief Vick bellowed causing a wave of clattering made by a brood of police officers scrambling around her.
"Alright, we have four new transfers from the LAPD. Mei Rin, a rookie in training, Bernedette Carlyle, the LAPD's former head detective, and our new consulting detectives, Sam Parker and Drew Summers. Any questions?" She ended, clasping her hands to signify the end of her announcement.
"So let me get this straight, so we're NOT getting an ICEE machine?" Shawn asked while putting his arm back down to his side.
"Come on in guys," The blonde authority figure called.
The first transfer to enter the room was young woman about age 28. She had sleek black hair that probably went down to her shoulder blades, but was pulled back neatly into a pony tail, revealing her slightly flushed cheeks and beaming chestnut brown eyes. Her uniform was pressed and her badge and name tag were polished exquisitely. She even made her issued loafers shine. The rookie shook the Chief's hand with great enthusiasm.
"Hello Chief, it will be my honor to help keep the streets of Santa Barbra safe," She said with great respect.
The woman grinned at the rookies willingness to serve "Indeed. McNabb!"
The abnormally large cop made his way front and center. "Yes Chief?"
"You are going to mentor Mei Rin. I trust you McNabb, so don't let me down."
The officer was at a loss for words for a moment. This was brought on by a mixture of both pride and fear. "B-but of course Chief." He finally said as he made his way to the awaiting rookie.
Next to enter the room was a tall, slender woman about age 45. She had a long cascade of dark brown hair that showcased her incredibly rare, yet piercing violet eyes. She wore a black tailored suit that she paired with a cherry red camisole and pointed toed heels to match.
"Good afternoon Chief, I hope to be the best head detective this station has ever seen." She said regally.
Vick paused a moment before awkwardly breaking the news "I'm sorry to inform you, but, you'll be working under our head detective…Carlton Lassiter."
"So, you mean to tell me that, I'm NOT the head detective?" Bernadette said in a eerily monotone fashion
"I'm sorry for the miss communication Detective." Vic said apologetically.
"But I thought…I was told that…Parker…" The disgruntled detective hissed under her breath.
The room was overcome by an awkward silence which was quickly broken by the smug snicker of a certain head detective-THE head detective. Bernadette shot a death glare towards an obviously unimpressed Lassiter. All of a sudden the crowd cleared a passage for the enraged transferred detective leading straight to him.
"Hello detective." She said sticking out her hand coldly.
"Hello Bernadette" Lassiter said grasping her thin hand. "It will be a pleasure working with you"
"Please, call me detective Carlyle." She said, both her grip and tone tightening.
"How 'bout Miss Carlyle?" Lassiter said with a crooked grin.
"Detective. Carlyle." The woman annunciated firmly as she just about crushed every bone in the unsuspecting detective's hand. Lassiter tried to keep his composure in front of his collogues as best as he could.
"Would you all excuse me?" He said walking out of the room, nursing his newly injured hand by his chest. As Lassiter walked into Vick's office, he unknowingly leaned against the intercom button while letting out a string of cusswords so vile, that McNabb passed out on top of poor Mei Rin who collapsed under his weight. Shawn and Gus both looked at each other in somewhat disbelief as to what was unraveling before them.
Everyone rushed over to help Buzz gain conciseness and help Mei Rin up from under him. A pall of awkwardness then overtook the station as Lassiter walked back into the room, completely unaware that his little episode had been broadcasted across the entire station.
"Wait…where's miss Parker and miss Summers?" Said the chief, trying to process the situation.
"Late as usual…" Muttered Bernadette.
As if on que, two women about 30 years of age walked in. The first had curled ginger tresses which contrasted with her porcelain skin and large pale blue eyes. She wore an open blue flannel shirt over a T-shirt which was graced with Captain Crunch's likeness, paired with jeans and a warn pair of once white converse. The other had strawberry blond hair that framed her perfectly bronzed face, which only exaggerated her emerald green, almond shaped eyes. She sported a pastel blue blouse with ruffled details on the front which she tucked neatly under a pair of fitted khaki pants that hid her puma runners.
Shawn and Gus' attentions shifted from the fiasco that was just starting to die down, to the two young women that had entered the station.
"Mr. Spencer, Mr. Guster, this is Miss Parker and Miss Summers. They'll be working on a large portion, if not all cases with you, so you guys better familiar with each other" Vick said while walking back to her office.
"Hello, my name is Drew Summers," The strawberry blonde said politely.
"The names Parker…Sam Parker." said the other forming her hands into a gun.
Shawn looked over at his still astounded friend. "I'm Shawn Spencer," He touched his index finger to his temple, "Psychic detective, and this is my partner Lind-"Gus slapped his hand over Shawn's mouth before he could give him some stupid alias.
" I'm Burton Guster. If you ladies have any questions about how things work around here please, don't hesitate to ask." Gus said, promptly dismissing his hand from his friend's mouth, just to begin smoothing his eyebrows with his index fingers seductively.
"Excuse me, but are you being for real right now?" Drew scoffed.
"I'm as real as it gets." Gus said as smoothly as possible.
"Really dude?" Shawn said shooting Gus a disapproving look.
"What? A guy can't be cordial? "
"Permission to kill?" Drew asked Sam hopefully.
Before Sam could give a verdict, Vick stepped out of her office to call Lassiter and Carlyle to her office to brief them on the case she was about to assign them.