This would be my first NnoitraxNeliel fanfiction, it's kinda new to me so I hope I don't disappointed the fan base.

XXX

I have hated you ever since I first learned of your rank, before that I couldn't care less about you, but to know… To learn of your rank from a former Espada, yes, Szayelaporro was the one to inform me of your rank.

For you to rank higher than the majority of men; and to flaunt that in front of us as well was an insult! You are a woman, you don't deserve such a high rank, had you been more willing to let us men deal with certain problems and issues there would never have been this trouble to begin with, but no! You had to show off.

My blood boiled at such a notion, and every time you would show off… I finally snapped and went to search for you.

I may have been the 8th ranking Espada at the time, but I was determined that you would be put into your place.

To begin with I didn't fight you; I would threaten you but you wouldn't even blink, instead you remained calm ever time and I hated you even more for it.

"Learn your place little girl," I sneered and I saw that look you gave me.

That look was one of annoyance and I knew that I had managed to make a small crack into your armour. All I had to do now was exploit it and make the crack even bigger

Our first fight ended with my defeat and your refusal to kill me; you kept going on and on about being a warrior and being more evolved than what we used to be. You forgot yourself; we are Hollows, we just happen to be the highest ranking, the most powerful of all our kind… Yet you continue to act like you were something else.

You are a Hollow, just like the rest of us. I knew that you were Aizen's favourite, it was clear that you would never be more powerful than the two above you, no matter how much you would pleasure that Shinigami.

Regardless of what you may think of me, I knew of those 'special' meetings that you would have with Aizen; that was where you learned of your stupid notions of being a warrior.

No true Hollow would lower themselves in such a way… Only a woman, only you, Neliel would do such a thing.

You disgusted me.

After so long, after so many fights against you, I finally defeated you. I finally managed to make the small crack in your armour bigger and it was thanks to you little fraccion that I managed it.

Removing their masks was easy enough, although they did try to put up a fight but they were no match for me, they were just fraccion after all.

You have no idea the pleasure I felt when I faced you, when I heard that glorious sound of you mask cracking, the blood dripping from your wound across your face, it gave me great satisfaction to be able to do such damage to you after so long.

When I dropped you out of Las Noches I felt relieved, a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had finally defeated you, you would no longer haunt me all the time, no longer would my finger's itch to attack you when we were all in a meeting with Aizen, or when I would see you in passing that I would long to rip your long hair right out your scalp.

And then… You changed, you changed from that strong Espada, the one who would always defeat me, but a child. I left you with your fraccion around you, not caring how or if they would pick up the pieces to your broken life.

I was confident enough that I could train hard enough to be ready in case you should come back.

My training paid off, as you can now see, I am no longer the 8th ranking Espada but the 5th; I had thought that this would also mean that I could defeat you in battle since the Espada's have all grown so much stronger than before.

After all this time, after all the hard training and fighting those stronger than myself, I find myself still unable to defeat you.

I suppose I should take pride in this; you had to use your Resurrection to get close to defeating me, I can see that I have gained more strength although still not enough to defeat you, but once again like you did in the past, you refused to kill me; although it wasn't due to you not seeing me as a 'warrior' but that your spiritual energy.

You changed back into a child and I could have crushed you with ease but I was interrupted by another Shinigami.

He would kill me.

This is honour Neliel, this is how I dreamt I would die. I may be a beast in your eyes and maybe I am, but this is my way.

Your child-self crawled over to me, tears falling from your face.

Who are you crying for? I wanted to ask, but I was choking on my own blood; must be for that Shinigami, it couldn't be for me.

You spat on my wounds, another trick that I had forgotten about due to your absence; you're healing saliva.

All I wanted to do was kick you away from me, tell you to stop. The brink of death is a funny thing, I was so close to it and yet I was unable to leave and it was all because of you.

You transformed back into your natural form to that of an adult female Espada, looking down on me and wiped the blood from my lips.

I HATE you.

"Nnoitra, there is more to a battle than just killing," You said softly, stroking my hair; "Your opponent would have let you live… He respected you,"

The Shinigami was the only one who made me feel truly alive in a battle, who fought me at such length, whose own thirst for blood rivalled that of my own.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" You wiped your face and I thought I heard a whimper; "Why do you desire death?"

Tch, only you Neliel would ask such a question. You and all other women would allow your emotions to well up, how foolish of you. I wished to die in a battle with my pride intact.

"You are such a pig," I heard you say and if I could I would have challenged such a comment; "You believe women are weak and yet I constantly defeated you,"

How I wished I could have killed you right at this moment, with your guard down.

"You kept coming back, you were so persistent," I noticed a small smile on your lips; "You never gave up… You were no warrior, but I still respected you," I hoped you would leave; "I couldn't just kill you,"

I spat out some blood; "You're weak," I managed to say and you just looked at me; "Why heal me Neliel?" I could feel my strength return to me, I slowly sat up and rested on my elbows; "You know what this means…"

I never finished my threat, your lips were on mine and I knew full well I should push you off, break your neck, done something! Instead I kissed back.

I suppose this should be my confession, I hated you, that wouldn't ever change; however as I said before you always carried yourself in way that no Espada ever did.

You were more like Aizen… In such a way that you were more like a Shinigami than one of us, we all noticed it; I was just the one who took direct action against it.

Tesla had noticed that your replacement, Halibel, was never treated in the same way as I treated you, but she acted like a true Hollow, even though she allowed us men to do the majority of the fighting, if she was ordered to or had no choice she would fight.

You should never have become an Espada, you should never have been a Hollow. I don't understand why those Shinigami didn't purify your soul. I guess we'll never know.

"Nnoi…"

I grinned at you; "Neliel… You're an idiot,"

You looked surprised, I like that look; the fact that I can surprise you…

"What are you talking about?"

"Heh, I hate you," I stated and she tried to move away. Too bad Neliel, I am not letting you get away; "You're a fool. You never belonged… You were never a true Espada…" I saw how confused she looked at that; "Those Shinigami should have got to you when you were a Hollow. You shouldn't have let Aizen take you,"

Her hazel eyes were confused and uncertain; "H… How did you…"

I laughed; "How does an enemy learn of their opponent? They follow them, after every meeting you and Aizen would go somewhere and fuck," I glared at her; "I don't see how you managed to become so weak for that man, and you were the 3rd ranking Espada,"

You remained silent, but this time it was different. I could almost taste your shame.

I closed my eye before I finally spoke some… comforting words; "You could have been so great,"

I felt the wall that I had built up begin to crumble, it wouldn't fall but with that omission some of the hatred and anger had dispersed.

"What?" You asked and I gritted my teeth;

"This is an underworld; someone like you doesn't belong here, with all your talk about being a true warrior and honour… This was never meant to be your place,"

Your finger's touched my face, caressing my cheek; "But I did, I fell just like you did,"

I didn't want to hear it; "You're not like us!" I yelled in frustration, her hands fell from my face as I glared at her; "All we care about is fighting, blood flowing and killing all those who would dare to challenge us. You… You're a…" My mind went blank before I remembered something; "A princess from one of those stupid books you read,"

You blinked in surprise; "How do you know my books have tales of princess'?"

I rolled my eye; "Didn't I tell you? I kept a watch on you Neliel, you were telling those two fraccion stories,"

She blushed and I had no idea as to why, I had never really said anything apart from her guard being down.

"So that's why you fought me?"

I looked elsewhere, thinking over my answer carefully; "You're too much like them,"

You nodded, knowing what I meant as and began to caress my hair; "I am still and Espada,"

I grinned; "No, you are no longer of that rank, " I pulled her onto my lap, I was still sore, but damned if I would allow her to leave.

I kissed her once more, now knowing that this princess is mine and no one, no one would take her from me.