A.N./ Hey! It's my very first fic and I'm really nervous about it. It's a songfic from a song from korean boygroup named Tohoshinki called Stand By You. I really love this song and want to make this a story. So, enjoy! Oh, It's not beta-ed, so I'm sorry for every mistakes I made.
Disclaimer: I just can hope HP world is mine. But it's not, so.. yeah.. And Stand By You is not my song either..
Stand By You
That night, as usual, Draco flooed home nearly at midnight. He entered his bedroom, expecting sleeping Harry at their bed, like every night in those six months. And like those nights, Draco planned to take a brief shower, wear one of his silk pajama pants, kiss Harry's forehead, lie in his side of the bed, and sleep. And then, he would wake up very early in the morning, drink couple cups of tea, view his paper work, be ready for work, and kiss Harry's forehead before floo to his office near leaky cauldron in muggle London. If week end came, he would sleep until noon, join Harry in dining room, give him a passionate kiss, and eat lunch. Harry would complain with his busy schedule, He would say that his company new project couldn't be ignored, they would fight, and in the night, they would made love worth for a week. That was what happen in every week in the six month of five years of their relationship.
But that night, he found no Harry in bed. The blonde checked on the shower just to find it empty. He went to Harry's study, but that room was also without Harry. He walked to his study and it was also empty. He began to shout Harry's name and checked all the rooms in their shared flat, not there were much rooms on those. Half an hour later, Draco sat himself in one of the couch in the living room, heavily sighed. Harry was nowhere in the flat. He ran his hand on his silky soft hair, one of the habits that he picked from his boyfriend, and closed his eyes. He was very tired and now worried, he just hoped that Harry was in his friend-day with Weasley and Granger. When the clock ticked to one o'clock in the morning, he fell into restless sleep.
In the morning, Draco woke up at 8, noon for him. He jerked up, confused why he slept on the couch. Stretched, he remembered that Harry was missing. "Harry.." he whispered. He looked around to find that the black-haired man was not present, yet. He sighed. It was Friday and he was still at home at 8. His secretary would be frantic. He sighed, again, and went to the bathroom, getting ready for the day.
"Malfoy!" Theo Nott, his business partner, shouted.
"What?" he answered angrily. Theo frowned.
"You seem distracted. Anything happened?" Draco looked at his old schoolmates and sighed.
"It's Harry.."
"You two fighting again?" asked Theo, had used to the fight between the two lovers. Draco rubbed his forehead, letting his body leaned back heavily in his seat.
"I.. Yes, we fought yesterday morning. And when I got home the night after, he's gone. He's gone Theo! I hope he's just gone to Weasley's place.. Sulking as usual.." Theo sighed and patted the blonde's hand softly.
"You just go home okay? Take a break and call Weasley or Granger. You can't work anyway, too distracted. We'll be fine without you for a couple of days.." Draco sent him a grateful gaze and went home.
"Malfoy?" a woman's voice welcomed him when he arrived at Waesley s place.
"Granger.."
"What happen? Is Harry okay?" she sounded worried.
"Harry's not here, is he?" he asked warily. Granger shook her head.
"Is he supposed to be here?" she asked. Draco just sighed and ran his hand on his blonde locks. "He's gone, isn't he?" Draco looked at her and nodded. She sighed.
"What? Is he.. How do you.."
"Come, sit here. I'll make tea.." With a cup of hot tea, the witch began her story. "Harry came to my office two days ago. He looked.. tired. Drained. He told me about your fights, about your lacks of appearance at home, Draco. He told me that he missed you. Very much.." the cup at Draco's hand begin to shake lightly. His face still unreadable though. "He said he has got enough. He told me that he's tired with your fights. He told me that he still loved you but he has got enough. But I don't know he planned to leave you.." Draco felt his body began to tremble, a single tears run on his cheek.
"It's my fault.. it's all my fault.." he whispered. Hermione looked at him with concern. And he broke to quiet sobs.
Days and days continued to go on, Draco still didn't get any news from nor about harry. He already visited all Harry's friends' houses, his work mates', all his hang out places, he even visited the Dursley's. But no one had seen Harry. He went to the Auror Head Quarter at Ministry to find that Harry took a break from work for a few months. He had tried to send letters with his owl, Apollo, to Harry. Pleading for forgiveness and even promised to drop his job if Harry come back home. But he never got any replies. He, however, thanked God that Harry never returned his letters. At least, he thought, he read my letters, hopefully. Every single day, Draco just stood in front of their bedroom window, hoping Harry will appear in far away street. Every single day, he stood quietly, hoping to hear the crack of apparition or the roar of the floo flames. Every single day, his tears continued to fall to his pale cheek, fall in a silent cry.
Every time he laid in the bed, he remembered his last fight with Harry. Made his tears fall again and he would sleep in Harry s side of the bed and cuddle Harry s pillow. Buried his face in Harry s scent that faded slowly. He would cry and cry. Unable to forget the tears of Harry's agony and scream of the auror's frustration. Hoping he done something different that morning..
Flashback
"You already clothed.." said Harry sleepily from bed. He lifted his body on his elbow to see his boyfriend better. The blonde, who was staring to the mirror on their closet trying to fix his tie, glance to his lover.
"Yes. I've a meeting with a few clients at eight.." he said, gave his lover small smile. The black-haired man looked at the clock and frowned.
"It's only six, Drake.."
"Still have to do briefing, don't I?" he continued to deal with his stubborn tie. He heard Harry sigh. "What?" he asked. He nearly jumped when he felt Harry's hand around his waist.
"Why you always busy?" Harry murmured to the blonde's neck. "I missed you, you know Drake?" Draco let go of his tie and placed his hand on top of the other's. He sighed.
"I know, love, I missed you too.."
"Can't you skip today's job to be with me? I got a break after the last raid.." said the auror, still nuzzling his boyfriend's neck.
"I can't, Harry. It's an important meeting.." Harry sighed again and let go off his boyfriend. When he spoke, Draco felt the coldness of his voice.
"Yes, more important than me, I guess?" Draco turned around to find Harry s back facing him. He cringed.
"Not that, love.."
"It's alright, Draco.." his voice s indicating that it was not alright at all. "I've already got used to it.." Draco put his hand in Harry's shoulder just to have it shrugged. He frowned.
"Harry, what's this? Why are you acting like this?" Harry turned around to face Draco, his face was full of rage.
"Why am I acting like this? WHY AM I ACTING LIKE THIS? You KNOW exactly why I'm acting like this, Draco Malfoy! You always work and work and work! I barely see you for months now! Every morning I wake up, you've already gone! And when I go back to bed, you even haven't back home yet! Tell me, Drake, tell me when the last time we go out for dinner together? When the last time you wake up hugging me? When the last time we kissed? And you asked WHY I'M ACTING LIKE THIS? For Merlin's sake.." Harry yelled out his frustration. Draco just stood in front of his angry boyfriend. His eyes narrowed.
"I don't have time for this, Harry.." he hissed, irritated with the other man. Harry gaped at his boyfriend s indifference. "I'm getting late. We talked later, okay?" he checked on his wrist watch.
"You.. Huh! You don't have time for me again, do you? Fine.. Fine.." Harry whispered. Disappointment was clearly written at his face. "Fine.. Just go for your important client. Just leave me here.. alone.. again.."
Draco looked up at the auror that had looked away from him. He sighed. "You know, that's not what I mean Harry.." he grasped Harry's arm. Harry still refused to look at him. "Harry, I love you, alright? But I can't talk right now. I promise I'll be back early. We can go to dinner and talk.." he said gently, put his palm to caressed Harry's cheek.
"Just go, Draco.." said Harry softly. Draco sighed. Not realized a single tear that fell in Harry s other cheek.
"We'll talk tonight, alright? I love you Harry.." he said and walked hurriedly to his study to floo. He thought he heard soft sobs from the bedroom but forgot it right away when the clock above the chimney showed that it s been 7 o clock.
End of flashback
If.. if I just forgot that damn meeting, maybe Harry wouldn't go. If I didn't ignore that sobs sound from the bedroom, maybe Harry wouldn't leave me.. if.. Draco thought again and again and again.. "Harry, where are you now?" he whispered to nothingness.
A month after Harry's disappearance, Hermione came to their flat. She found Draco sit in the couch of the living room. Bottles of firewishkey spread all over the floor. He looked horrible. A big purple bags under his eyes, bloodshot eyes, hollow of his cheeks, limp and greasy hair..
"Mal-Draco?" she called softly. The dull grey eyes met her brown ones. "Draco, are you alright?"
"Hmph.. Am I? I don t know, Granger. Can I be alright without Harry?" he said with monotone voice. Hermione sat beside him and put one hand over his knee.
"Draco, you can't waste yourself like this.." she said with concern. "Come on Draco, we're still trying to find Harry. I'm sure we'll find him in no time.."
"Huh! Like hell I believe that bullshit.. It's already a month, Hermione! A month! And still no news from him!" he said. Tears began to fall again. "I.. I am sorry, Hermione.. I am.. I still hear his laugh in the day, you know. Like when he tried to sneak behind me and tickled me to death. I still imagine that I saw he cooked in the kitchen. I still hear he whispered in my ears said that he loved me. I miss him. Oh, Hermione.." he broke to Hermione's embrace. Hermione pat his back, couldn't hold back the tears herself. They cried like that for a while until a snow white owl tapped his windows.
"Hedwig?"Draco looked at the owl disbelievingly. He walked to the window and petted the bird softly before take the note from her. "Is it from Harry?" he asked the bird that answered him with a hoot. Draco opened the folded note and began to read the scrawl that was Harry's handwriting. He began to sobs again.
"Draco? What did he say?" asked Hermione. He gave the note to her. Hermione read it and looked at Draco warily. "Won't you write the reply?" Draco nodded.
Draco,
I am sorry I have gone for long without any news at all. Don t worry, I am save here.
Drake, do you really mean what you said in the earlier letters? That you still love me? That you are sorry of your lack of appearance in home? That you want to spend more and more time with me? That you'll drop your beloved business? Do you really mean it?
I am still in love with you, Draco Malfoy. But it's still hurt to think about you. Remembered those coldness. Those lone feeling. Those darkness.. It's hurt Drake. I miss you dearly. But I still can't forget that you choose your job over me. I still can't forget the empty bed every single time I got up. I still can't forget the tasteless food of every dinner I'd eaten alone. It was really hurt. I even don't know if I can't see you again without fear of loneliness again. Even think about you make my heart bleed again.
I love you, Drake. But I think I still can't forgive you..
Harry
Dear Harry, my dearest,
I am really sorry, Harry. I really meant what I said. I will do everything to get you back. To gain your forgiveness. To hold you again in my arms.
I love you, Harry, so much it hurts. I miss you. I can't forget you Harry. I would not. Ever. It's just everything is so different when you go. The bed is too big, the living room is too empty, the kitchen is too cold, the study is too dark without you in it. The day is too damn long and the night is too damn silent. The sun is no longer bright and the moon is too dull. Without you Harry, it's as if my time frozen. You know what, Harry? Even my eyes couldn't fall any tears anymore..
Harry, love, I'm sorry I made you lonely. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I broke your heart. Believe me Harry, now I know how you feel. It's just a month but I can't barely breath. Forgive me? I'll do everything to pay all the mistakes I've made. Harry, I'll wait as long as you need. I'll wait you here. Forever, if it's the time you need to forgive me and come back to me. Where ever you are right now, my love, I will still be here, wait for you. Even if you decide that I'm not worth your forgiveness, I'll still stand here. Even if you find another man to love, I'll still stand here. Even if you don t want to be with me, I'll still stand here. This feeling won't change.
I love you, Harry James Potter. I will always do.
Yours always,
Draco Abraxas Malfoy
A.N./ So, how was it? I put Stand By You lyric translation since it's in Japanesse. I hope you enjoy it. Review will be very welcomed.. :wide smile:
Stand By You (Translation)
Tohoshinki
Since the day you left without a word of goodbye I feel that the scenery around me has changed.
The promise I made that I would become your everything and the incomplete memories have also changed.
When you were crying by yourself back then,
if only had I run to you you would still be by my side.
If I was given one more chance,
I would tell you once again that I love you.
But the words that contain my overflowing feelings cannot reach you anymore.
Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are doing and laughing at?
I am right here.
Even now, I am right here.
And I still believe that we will see each other again.
You're the only one I'm thinking of.
Just once more,
I want you to stand at my back with your tied hair asking me "Guess who it is~~~"
and expecting me to say out your name.
Just the two of us being silly like that day by day.
I can't forget you,
But the truth is, I don't want to forget you.
I can't feel even a bit of happiness because you're not by my side.
No matter how hard I try,
I'll end up crying and my tears just won't stop.
Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are doing and laughing at?
I am right here.
Even now, I am right here.
I still believe that we will see each other again.
You're the only one I'm thinking of.
Therefore, I am right here singing the song by myself.
Even though I don't have any reason to embrace this pain anymore,
I can't help doing it.
Even if I know that the days when you were by my side making my world shine won't come back again,
and no matter what will happen,
no matter how far I'm lost,
I never ever want to forget that my heart has chosen to love you.
No matter where you are,
no matter who you are being with,
no matter what kind of dream you are dreaming of,
or what you are doing and laughing at,
I will be here forever.
Even now, I right am here,
believing in a day that we will meet again.
This feeling won't change,
and you are the only one I'm thinking of.
This feeling won't change,
and you are the only one I'm thinking of.