Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Judd, Dougie Poynter, Izzy Judd or any of McBusted.
About: Dougie worries about his relationship with Harry. Hope you enjoy :) xx
"Are we only doing this for the fans?" Harry looked up, surprised and worried to see Dougie, his best mate, standing by him, looking at the brunet with confusion and stress, purple bags under his eyes. The drummer had been relaxing on the sofa of the tour bus, reading some drumming magazine, missing the presence of his wife.
It was around two in the morning, and Izzy had gone on a night out with the other 'McBusted ladies'. Leaving him to the mercy of five other guys, and a deadly boring article about the importance of 'feeling the music'. Thanks, wife.
He smiled at Dougie, beckoning the bassist to sit down next to him. The blond did so, resting his slim legs on the table, watching the brunet with interest.
Harry placed the magazine on the floor, thankful for a distraction from the resented object. "What d'ya mean, Doug?" He whispered, unwilling to wake the other members of the band, who were currently fast asleep in the bunks.
Dougie shrugged his shoulders, looking down slightly. "I dunno, just...this whole 'Pudd' thing. Sometimes I wonder if our- our friendship, it's only like it is because of the fans. Because they turned it into something amazing, something beautiful, you know?
"What if its not like that? What if...I don't know, Harry, I'm sorry. Like, do you only like me because we want to make the fans happy? Do you only...kiss me, hug me, stupid stuff like that, because the 'galaxy defenders' find it funny? It just seems to me that...I dunno, sometimes I worry that in real life, if our fans hadn't seen it that way, we wouldn't have the relationship that we do. It's ridiculous, I know. Sorry."
Harry smiled, enjoying the moments when his friend would explain what he was feeling. It wasn't often Dougie opened up, and it was a wonderful feeling to be the person he talked to about his emotions, a spark in your heart.
The drummer put his arm round the bassist, cocking his head to one side. "Hey. Do you really think I don't love you? Doug, come on. I've known you for more than ten years- and all that time, I've watched out for you, let you confide in me, find something new about you every single day.
"You think that was all an act? You think I only hugged you because the fans wanted it? Dude, I hugged you because you looked like you needed it. Because I wanted to let you know you were...man, this sounds soppy...know you were loved."
Dougie smirked, strands of golden hair falling into his eyes as he shifted slightly, moving his body more towards the brunet. Harry continued, suddenly reminiscing about all their times together.
"The day I came to see you in rehab. The day you were crying, and I was trying to tell you you'd be okay. You think I only did that so the GDs would be happy? Damn it, Dougie, I can't explain how many times I've looked at you, and just thought about how amazing you are. How many times I've only wanted to spend time with you, make jokes, do stupid stuff, only with you. How is that for the fans, when I don't tell anyone what's going through my brain?"
Dougie was chuckling now, shaking his head. "Man, I didn't know you could talk do much." He looked at Harry, eyebrows raised. "Thanks, mate. I just..." He looked out the window, gazing into some invisible universe. "Worry about this stuff. It's weird." Harry laughed, staring at Dougie with fondness and proudness. He was so strong, so brave. Yet innocent, vulnerable, at the same time.
The bassist stood up, smiling, crinkles around his sparkling, sapphire eyes. "Cheers." Harry nodded his head, sleepiness hitting him all of a sudden. "No worries. Love you, yeah?" The bassist blushed, grinning. "Yeah, you too. Night." Harry watched as he left, thinking about what had just happened, what they'd just talked about.
It was strange. Sometimes it felt like it was all for the fans. All their signs of affection, loving- it was all because people were amused by it. But it was more than that. The rush of love Harry felt when watching Dougie play bass. The happiness he experienced when seeing Dougie with his girlfriend, so relieved that his mate was okay now, departed from drink and drugs.
His heart felt these things, felt the jolting emotions, unforeseen shootings of joyfulness, sadness, and pure passion for his friend. And, as they'd said many times before, the heart never lies.