Note: This story is told from Humpty's POV. This is an angry rant, of sorts, that was written purely out of fun.
I have always been a jealous egg. But all I wanted was to be loved. Is that so wrong? Always, it was about Puss. Everyone loves Puss; everybody thinks he's such a hero. But what does he think of our supposed "brother-ship"? All he could say was the words his mama told him, "You are better than this."
Hah! As if that was going to stop me from robbing the gold from San Ricardo's bank. You know what, I'm sick of being invisible, sick of being ignored. I mean, just what did dear mama Imelda do when I was being bullied? Oh, you'd think that she'd have an excuse, having to take care of all the other orphans. But oh, along comes Puss and it's "my son" this, "my boy" that. Do you know how irritated I get every time I hear that? Probably not.
Perhaps it just wasn't the fact that everybody hero worships Puss. Maybe I was just trying to earn some attention from dear, beloved mama. You notice how every time Puss and I get caught for stealing some beans, Imelda comes and says, "You are better than this. Please don't let me down." Did you think she was speaking to both of us? No, she was only looking at her son, telling him how disappointed he made her feel. Where do I fit into this picture? Even with Puss as my "brother", I never felt welcome to share this special mother-son bond. Perhaps people only see me as a villain without knowing the true alienation that I feel.
And to top it off, Puss seems oblivious to this. "Why do you have to hurt Imelda? She has nothing to do with this," he says. Oh, but she has EVERYTHING to do with the way I turned out. During the flashback s of Puss's and my childhood, did you ever see Imelda hugging me, or even talking to me, acknowledging that I egg-sist? Exist, geddit? Oh the sad ways one entertains himself. Scrutinise all you want, but you won't find a single moment of tenderness between Imelda and I.
Perhaps things would have turned out differently if Imelda had loved me. Maybe I didn't need to be a hero in front of everyone. Maybe all I needed was to be a hero in Imelda's eyes. Now you see the blame lies on Imelda as well.
What, you think that I'm telling a lie? All those attempts to change me into a better egg, the one who bothered to talk to me when I was in prison, who was it? Imelda? The other townsfolk? NO! It was Puss, the hero, but as bad as he was, he felt it his duty to be a brother as well. People hate me for betraying my brother, but they don't know much, do they?
Yes, I admit, destroying the town and tarnishing his image in his mama's eyes pushed our relationship too far. Looking back, he was the only honorable one and I shouldn't have judged him too harshly. What did I expect, forcing him to choose between me and his mama?
Even when I was gone, what did Imelda do? She celebrated the fact that the goose destroying her village had gone, I bet she never even mourned my passing, never missed me, because I was never present in her heart or mind in the first place. Oh boohoo, blame it on all the other kids for the reason why I never left an impression on Imelda, such that she was so busy to care about me. Really? Even when Puss occupied her heart, couldn't she leave a space for ME, the one who was supposed to be Puss's brother? Like I stated earlier, I don't think she has any space in her heart for me, love or hate. I pass by her, eerily invisible, not worthy to even trigger disappointment in her, even when others hated me.
And so ends this pathetic self-mourning for the egg that didn't matter enough.