Gamzee Makara lay in the frozen enclosed space of the fridge. His actions and one incorrigible cerulean-blooded troll had gotten him there. His actions had also gotten two disembodied heads that used to be his friends in there with him. Gamzee had had a lot of time to think. It was all he had, actually. The rage inside him, compelling him to kill, had quietened long enough for Gamzee to think.
Nepeta's head lay at his left foot. She did not deserve this. Gamzee could feel her dead eyes boring into his skull, even if her eyes were not open. Gamzee couldn't tell; it was too dark to see anything. He could still feel her. He knew this was what he deserved.
Gamzee's other companion was less painful to be around. The princess, fuchsia-blood and beautiful Feferi Piexes. Gamzee had not gotten to know her well in her life. He regrets that now. Gamzee did not kill Feferi, he wasn't planning on it in particular. Gamzee could feel her long hair coiled around his right leg limp with her death, as if it would crush him if she were still alive. Gamzee had talked to Feferi in brief moments but never long enough to know her.
Maybe if Gamzee had known Feferi things would have been different. Probably not, but Gamzee could only think. He thought of endless alternatives to his current situation and one of them was a world in which Gamzee had met Feferi. Properly.
They could have been great friends. Perhaps Gamzee would have felt red for her. She was so beautiful when she was alive. Gamzee could remember watching her giggle with Sollux on his horn pile and he thought about what it would have been like to be the one she was giggling with.
Maybe Gamzee wouldn't have gotten along with her or maybe they would have black feelings towards each other. Gamzee could think of so many ways he could annoy her and countless ways she could do the same back. It made him smile, and stopped him from thinking about the posthumous glares from his olive-blooded victim.
Even if he didn't feel red, they could have been pale. Karkat was so busy leading everyone anyway. Gamzee could imagine Feferi cheering him on as he practised with his unicycle. He could see himself comforting her when Eridan got mean. He remembered how upset she would get at him. He didn't know what for but Gamzee could remember the look on her face. Maybe having her as his moiral would have calmed him down and stopped him from breaking.
Feferi Piexes held a world of possibilities for Gamzee, but none of that mattered now. He could feel her head at his foot and the reality hit him once more.
Of the many ways Gamzee could think of Feferi Piexes, there was one way he did not want her to be: dead.