AN: Not mine - A JAGified SVU story of mine.
Have a sensational 2013.
-Midnight-
Midnight is the bewitching hour and never more so than at New Year's. The moment when the old year passes and the new one begins reawakens hopes and dreams crushed by the toll of the previous year. It is a time for resolutions and new beginnings and I'm hoping against hope that's what happens here tonight.
The wall clock is confirming what my inner clock is telling me, it's 11:36pm – I don't know whether the time is standing still or flying by. I've showered twice and had nine changes of outfits. God, it should be much easier than this. I catch my reflection in the hall mirror, my tight blue denim jeans and white cashmere sweater look good for a casual date but for New Year's? Make that ten changes.
Now I'm wearing my black, not as tight jeans and a white linen shirt, still casual but a bit more comfortable…at least I can breathe in these.
This shouldn't be so hard…I'm sure my pulse is hitting rates it's never seen before, my heart feels like it'll jump out of my mouth and my stomach…well, let's just say it's not coping either.
I can't believe he is having this effect on me. I mean god, I see him everyday…we work together, we hang out more regularly than we used to, we have some of the same friends…it shouldn't be this hard.
Well, it would be much easier if I wasn't head over heels in love with him or, better still, I was and he felt the same about me. God, that sounds so much like high school…
It's all his fault…Christmas Eve at the get together, he sat down next to me. Granted it was the only chair left but he looked so incredible in his jeans and blue shirt and he smelt like heaven. He was chatty all night, looking more relaxed than I'd seen him in a long time. He was so attentive, I don't think my glass had a chance to empty once.
It was his suggestion to dance and the moment I was wrapped in his arms I couldn't deny what I had known for a while now…the truth was I loved him…not as a friend or colleague but as in 'take me, oh god, take me now'.
As the music slowed, I felt his arms pull me tighter, one hand gently rubbing my back. I could hear his breath becoming raspy and I knew mine was too. I pulled back and looked at him, losing myself in his amazing blue eyes. It took every ounce of self control not to jump him there and then.
I felt one arm let go and track its way up to my face. His fingertips danced gently along my cheek then under my chin…I was pulled into him almost involuntarily. Our faces got closer, our noses touched and just when I thought I'm about to get everything I asked Santa for his cell rings and he pulls back.
Several short terse comments he pockets his phone and I know our moment has gone.
"Damn!" he muttered. "Got to go."
That was December 24th, now it's the 31st and I haven't seen him since. Commitments kept him busy and, in fact, our plans for New Year's only came from one text message at 9:00pm tonight.
'I'll be there by midnight…wait for me'
Wait? Wait? Like there was anywhere else to go. I'd wait on the street for him in the freezing cold and light snow if it didn't make me look overly desperate. He was coming to see me at midnight on New Year's and that has to be good, doesn't it?
Yeah, it did…I'm convincing myself…11:39pm…That clock has to have stopped. The radio will help. NSync are on…not really my cup of tea but the lyrics catch me…God that's all I need…
Oh, oh
Hey, hey
Kiss me at midnight 5...4...3, 2, 1!
Kiss me at midnight
Dance until the morning light
Party into the new year
All of my friends are here
And when the time is right
Kiss me at midnight
I've been waiting for this special night
To be with you
The colors of Christmas are still shining bright
And I know what we're gonna do
Anticipating
Music is playing
The magic is in the air (the air)
All through the season
You've been the reason
I have so much love to share
We'll be making promises in the dark
Our resolutions
As a brand new year is about to start
And we're together
Celebrating (celebrating)
No more waiting (ooh)
Our time has arrived (oh, oh, oh)
Feel the beat of my heart (beat of my heart)
As the countdown starts (countdown starts)
Just look into my eyes
Ooh, ooh
Baby, it's New Year's Eve
A time we can believe
In making wishes (making wishes)
Dreams come true (dreams come true)
Just for me and you
I can't believe those boys just sang out every word in my heart…as sad and sappy as it sounds him kissing me at midnight would make all my wishes and dreams come true. I shake my head, when did I become that girl…the one who just needed her man, needed his arms, his body…his kiss.
11:46…oh my, I think I'll have passed out before he gets here. I can't believe I'm this nervous…it's just him…it's just him…it's just him. God, I'm repeating myself.
I try to force my eyes from the clock…after all a watched pot never boils…but I glance anyway, 11.51…nine minutes…540 seconds…539 seconds….
Hang on, what happens if he doesn't want me the way I want him…? What happens if he's coming over as a friend and nothing else…? That's a depressing thought and it's killed another few minutes. 11:56…or 240 seconds…
Okay…last minute check…I'm in love with him…he may not love me. I want to jump him the minute I open the door…he may just be here as a friend…Where's the time gone?
On the radio they've started the countdown
10…he's still not here
9…maybe he's not coming
8…I better not have stressed for nothing
7…Oh god, I think I'm going to cry
6…still not here
5…Is that the door?
4…YES!
3… "It's open!"
2…It's him…he's here…he has flowers
1… "Happy New Year," I say as he nears me. He tosses the flowers onto the coffee table and wraps me in his arms. Before long I feel the one thing I've craved, his lips on mine.
Everything else becomes a blur as our hands and mouths take on lives of their own.
Soon he pulls back and I can see his love for me reflected in his eyes.
"Happy New Year, Mac," he whispers hoarsely.
"Happy New Year, Harm." I take his hand and lead him to my bedroom…there's nothing like starting the New Year with a bang!
-Midnight-
Song: Kiss Me At Midnight by NSYNC