Remembrance
I always knew I was different. Most the people I met grew from babies to elders in a matter of decades while I stayed the same centuries. Those I met who were like me called themselves 'embodiments', 'countries' or 'nations' and sometimes 'personifications'. They were all freakishly tall and always pushed me around. I didn't like them and they didn't like me, it was a mutual hatred.
My past is all a hazy mist lost memories. The earliest thing I remember is being found by a man who called himself Father, everything before that is a blur. Father said that he'll make me the greatest nation in the world. There was something familiar about him that made me feel safe and wanted to stay by his side while at the same time there was a forbearing feeling telling me to stay as far as I can from the man. There was nowhere else I could go so I stayed with him.
Father gave me a name: the Unitary State of Amestris, or simply Amestris for short. He taught me the science of alchemy and Equivalent Exchange, its most important law. It took me weeks to memorise the periodic table of elements and twice as long to perform my first transmutation. Father was proud that I learnt alchemy so fast though I still think I took too long. Father was happy so I was happy too.
I remember the first 'war' I was in. It was with the city-state Riviere, a man who was extremely freakishly tall and never liked me. There was lots of blood and death and my body wouldn't stop hurting for years after the war. Riviere was also the first embodiment I killed. I still remember my blade piercing my western neighbour through his heart. Father said it was necessary sacrifice, I said it was bloody murder. That day, a blood crest carved itself onto my left palm.
As the years went by, I went into more wars with my neighbours. It still hurt but I no longer felt any emotions from them. I never aged as I watched my people die, whether from old age, sickness or war, though it was mostly war. I killed more personifications and my territory expanded. More people were slaughtered and more blood crests were carved onto my body. I also met Father's 'children' and my 'foster-siblings': First was Pride then Sloth, followed Greed and Envy then Lust and Gluttony. They were like me and not like me at the same time. I didn't like them and they didn't like me, we hated but tolerated each other.
A couple centuries later, Wrath was born. He was different from his 'siblings'; he aged at a more humane pace and looked more human than the others. Wrath soon became Führer, my boss, under the name King Bradley. He married a nice lady and adopted Pride, now Selim, as his son. I found that amusing since Pride was actually his older 'brother'. Lust had wacked me over the head for laughing too much.
After Drachma nearly breached my northern borders, Wrath made one of my hairs stand up like an antennae, he called it the Northern Wall of Briggs and said that it will keep Drachma from invading. It worked, though I could never understand how a strand hair kept out an attacking nation.
Under Wrath's rule, there was more wars, more massacres. I was fighting against everyone around me; sometimes I even fought against myself. I was sick of all the pointless violence. I wanted it to end, I wanted out and there was only one way.
Entering Truth's domain was easy, just perform a little bit of transmutation on yourself, getting out is the problem. The annoying bastard of an embodiment that lives there won't let anyone out or do anything without being given something of equal value. Equivalent exchange, of course.
Apparently, I was the first embodiment who came to Truth looking for a way 'out'. Other personifications have made deals with Truth in the past for a break from current political issues, some multiple times. In exchange for my memories and status as an embodiment, Truth will give me a normal life as a human and that when I 'die', all my memories will be returned. I was a bit suspicious but the tricky bastard could never lie as it went against his entire being and existence.
Seeing it as my only way out of this life of war and slaughter, I accepted.
{~~~}
"Long time, no see."
I turned to see a white figure with a large toothy grin planted on its face. I had only been for several minutes after waking up from a world of throbbing pain and knew it was a matter of time before I bumped into the lone resident of this endless expanse of white: Truth.
"Four hundred years is a long time." I nodded. "Especially if you have your soul ripped in two then used as a battery of immortality by a piece of shit in a flask."
Truth ever-smiling sadistic face frowned. "That annoying Spec has been dealt with and punished accordingly." The familiar but ever so annoying smile once again graced its face. "Do you know why you're here?"
It was quite obvious why I was here. My people have all moved on when the last of the stone was used up, my cities now lay in ruins and my land had been swallowed up by the desert. I no longer had an anchor to this world. "My time's up." No one knew what happened to our kind when we finally passed on but I was ready for whatever Truth threw my way…
"Wrong."
Though I wasn't ready for that.
Truth just kept on smirking with that damn annoying smile. "Why would your time be up when you still have an anchor?"
I stared at Truth for a while. How could that be possible? An embodiment can't exist without something to embody, an 'anchor'. I had only heard something like that occur once before on the 'other side'. A country that was dissolved at the end of some sort of big war (what was his name again… Persia? Russia?) still had its embodiment alive and kicking. How that is possible? No one has a clue.
Since I had no idea how I could still be anchored to the world, I asked the bastard-that-could-never-lie. "How the hell is that possible?"
"Just look inside yourself and answer your own question." Truth answered with a grin.
Doing exactly that, I found something that was quite surprising. All embodiments of nations could always feel what was happening to their people, economy and land in the back of their mind. I could still feel the wind and heat of the desert, the emptiness of the ruins but most importantly, my people. They were all chattering about, some happy, others sad and most bored. I had the Philosopher's Stone with the Xerxesian people inside me. It was exactly like before the ritual when I was still a proper and thriving country except the voices were slightly louder. They all felt at home because I was their home. The people made up who I am and I made up the people. All is one and one is all.
"Looks like I'm going to have to head back."
Truth nodded and a portal back to 'reality' opened up behind me. "Do me a favour and wake up your brother for me, Xerxes. It's about time he remembered who he truly was."
I paused for a moment. 'Waking up' my brother meant ending his humanity or in other words, 'killing' him. I really didn't want to do it but it was necessary, and it was better me than someone who has some beef against him.
"Will do." I muttered as I walked through the portal. Why did Truth always have send me off with a bunch of weights on my shoulders?
{~~~}
Edward smiled as he walked back to his apartment along with his younger brother, Alphonse, and childhood friend, Winry, both who had come to Central to visit.
It had been several months since the 'Promised Day' and has started a new chapter in their lives. Al had finally gotten his body back and was studying alkahestry in Xing under May. Winry continued her apprenticeship in Rush Valley and was now one of the top mechanics in the entire town.
With the help of their loyal subordinates, both Roy and Ling had reached the top of their respective ladders. Thanks to a Philosopher's stone, the Yao heir had been confirmed as the next Xingese Emperor. Roy had finally reached his goal and had become the Führer of Amestris, though was beginning to regret it after seeing all the paperwork he was assigned. At least he had Hawkeye to keep him in line at gun point.
Despite having lost his alchemic abilities, Ed still worked for the military. He had left his position as a State Alchemist and re-joined as a normal soldier. His teacher's teachings had stuck firm to him. 'To train the mind, you must first train the body', and so he did, keeping in top physical condition and sharpening his mind. The former Fullmetal alchemist rose quickly in the ranks of the military and was once again a major.
Al gave Winry a shy smile and the automail mechanic smiled back. They then both blushed and turned away but still held each other's hand tightly. Ed smirked at the scene. His brother was obviously in love with their best friend and vice versa but they were both too shy to admit it. All that was needed was a little push, a bit of courage, and some real magic (not that he believed in magic) would happen.
A distant click instantly caught Ed's attention. His time as a normal military officer had sharpened his wits beyond what they were when he was a State Alchemist. Ed turned a figure in a beige cloak with a long range gun in his hands on top of a nearby building, and was aiming directly at them.
Ed's eyes widened. "GET DOWN!" he yelled as he pushed Al and Winry to the ground.
His two companions turned to him, their eyes demanding an explanation, just as a bullet shot through his heart.
{~~~}
When Ed regained consciousness, he was no longer on the streets on Central with Al and Winry. Instead, he was surrounded by the white nothingness of Truth's Domain.
"Hello Mr Al-che-mist." And there was the bastard now.
The embodiment of Truth still looked the same since Ed last saw him: an eyeless white silhouette of a child with an annoying wide grin. Its left leg was flesh and blood: the price Ed paid when he broke on of alchemy's laws.
Every time Ed had come here in the past, he knew it was temporary and he'd soon be back to his brother and friends. But this time around, he hadn't come here by an alchemic circle but by his own death. There was no turning back now.
"Your brother is as quick as ever in fulfilling my requests." Truth said. "It's barely been a day since I sent him back to your world and he's already woken you up."
Wait, what?
"What do you mean, bastard?" Ed snarled at the white being. "How does fuckin' shooting some through the heart considered 'waking up' and what the hell does this have to do with Al?"
Truth shot the alchemist one of his famous 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' smiles. "Your dear little pretend-brother is not part of this, though your true older brother is. Besides, a piece of lead through the chest is no more than a little flick to your kind."
Ed was thoroughly confused. Al was the only brother he ever had and was definitely not pretend. The only way that he had another brother was if his bastard father sired another bastard and he was certain that a bullet to the heart did not equal a flick. Ed finally came to a conclusion. "You're lying." He accused.
"You charge the embodiment of Truth of lying." Its voice filled with mock shock and hurt only fuelled Ed's rage. "That is something beyond my being, completely out of my range. Besides…" Truth's annoying smile once again graced its face. "… I never lie."
Ed was just about ready to slap that damned grin right of Truth's face. "Then explain."
"Why explain when you can figure out yourself when I return something that I've been holding for you." Truth said with a smirk before gesturing to the Gate. "Just go through and all will be revealed."
With his anger dampened and himself completely confused, Ed walked through the Gate because anything was better than another second with that annoying bastard, Truth.
{~~~}
During his entire military career, Roy Mustang had seen many different types of murderers but none like this one.
First off, the man had shot down Edward and then came down from where he shot him down and starting acting as if he had just knocked the shorty unconscious. The man didn't attack Alphonse or Winry, who were with Edward at the time, or do anything except dodge when the pair started hurling wrenches and trasumutated spears at him. He didn't even resist the military personnel or try to escape when they came to arrest him, just slung Fullmetal's lifeless body over his shoulder and followed the officers quietly back to Central Command.
Now the man was sitting in his office casually chatting with Riza about the progression of long-ranged artillery while Edward's body lay sprawled out on the couch as if he was simply sleeping. Winry had calmed down slightly and was now quietly watching over the body while Alphonse was glaring daggers at his brother's murderer.
Mustang sighed, why again did he have to be the one to deal with this? Sure, he felt angry at the man for killing one of his subordinates for no apparent reason but his self-control had grown since the Promised Day and the murderer was safe from being burnt to crisp… for now. Though he wondered why he was the one dealing with the case when it could done by someone of a lower rank; he was the Führer for crying out loud!
"What's your name?" Roy asked the man. He was quite surprised at how calm he was being with the situation, maybe becoming the head of the military had desensitised him a bit.
The man ended his conversation with Hawkeye and turned to face him. Roy noted how much he looked like Fullmetal; a slightly older, taller Fullmetal. He was also paler, had less muscle and his hair was more of a silvery-gold than a golden blond and shorter though was still long enough to be tied back into a ponytail.
"The Kingdom of Xerxes." He answered causally.
The two alchemists, mechanic and sniper stared at him; jaws dropped, eyes wide and completely flabbergasted.
"That's not possible!" Winry exclaimed. "A person can't be an entire nation, especially one that doesn't exist anymore."
"I'm not lying." 'Xerxes' said. "Whenever a group of people unite themselves under one flag and call themselves a country we just… appear. Our kind embodies the hopes, dreams and ideals of the people. Our growth is irregular and once we reach our prime, we stay that way until the fall of our nation. Don't ask why we exist or where we came from, we have as much as an idea as you do."
The former nation them paused and took in a deep breath. "As to why I still exist… as alchemists, you are familiar with the term 'all is one and one is all', correct?"
They all nodded: it was the most famous and well known philosophy.
"Most people interpret this phase as 'I am the world and the world is me', as in we are a small part of a big world. Embodiments make this more literal. Our soul is comprised of the people who see themselves as a certain nationality, whether it be Amestrian or Ishvalan or Xerxesian. When there is no one alive or no 'idea' of a national unity, we 'die', but if there is someone deep down in their soul who still identifies themselves by what we embody, we can survive. Weaker, yes, but still alive."
"But that doesn't explain anything." Winry said.
"Yes it does." Roy muttered. "What thing is made up of many souls?"
Only one thing came to mind: the Philosopher's Stone.
The embodiment gave a world-weary smile. "I may still call myself the Kingdom of Xerxes though the Philosopher's Stone of Xerxes would be a more accurate name."
Alphonse was the first to recover from the shock of all the new information that had been thrown at them. The ideal of national personifications seemed so impossible and farfetched but was, in a way, plausible. He then returned to glaring at Xerxes. "What does this all have to do with you murdering my brother?" he scowled.
"The boy you know as Edward Elric is in fact the embodiment of this very country: the Unitary State of Amestris..." Xerxes answered. '… and my younger brother.' He mentally added.
"But how can Edward be an… embodiment… like you?" Riza asked. The nation's tale sounded fishy and she didn't quite trust him yet.
'…and why is this quickly turning into a game of 20 questions?' Xerxes thought to himself before answering. "Sometimes when a nation feels disconnected from their people, they become one of the people. They entrust their memories to a strong and trustworthy embodiment, generally Truth or Magic, and become a human, only to become a personification again when they 'die' and have their memories returned. We generally call this a wakeup call. I've never had to do it but Amestris was going through some tough times about two decades ago and needed a break."
"Prove it."
A distant cracking sound their attention. They all turned to see Ed's automail leg cracking and falling apart, as if something was trying to get out. Xerxes produced a scabbard from somewhere and quickly lopped off the metal limb.
"My automail." Winry whispered. Her cry would have been louder and soon followed by a wrench assault if it weren't for Ed's leg regrowing itself right in front of their eyes.
Unlike homunculi regeneration, which had their body healing almost instantly in a pixel-like format, Ed's leg slowly reconstructed itself cell by cell. First came the bones which were then wrapped in nerves and blood vessels followed by lean muscles and finally a coat of pale skin. If Ed had still been conscious (or alive), he would be kicking and screaming as the regeneration seemed to defy alchemy's most important law: equivalent exchange.
"What's happening?"
Xerxes gave a cheeky smile. "Amestris is finally remembering who he is. A nation's memories, history, are its most treasured possession, second only to our people. These are the two things along with culture is what makes a nation."
{~~~}
He remembered.
His head throbbed from having his memories restored and he felt as if he had just been hit by a tsunami, but he remembered. Though there were a few gaps here and there, he had remembered almost everything. His time under the wing of the Dwarf in the Flask were the clearest, he now remembered the time before that; before Xerxes had disappeared.
But though he remembered his past and history, he didn't forget the memories he made in the past two decades: his 'break time' from being a nation.
He was the Unitary State of Amestris.
But he was also Edward Elric.
{~~~}
Amestris once again found himself in front of Truth and the Gate.
He smirked. "I'm only going to say this once so listen well, you tricky bastard." The nation's smirked softened into a smile. "Thank you for keeping my memories safe."
Truth returned the smile his fellow embodiment. "You're welcome, though there is one more thing I have to return to you."
A second Gate appeared behind Amestris it was similar to the first except for one important detail: it was his Gate, the source of his alchemy and, by the looks of it, his ticket back to 'reality'. Amestris smile grew wider. Truth may an annoying bastard with an equally annoying damned grin, it did had its decent moments.
"Until we meet again, Mr A-mes-tris." Were Truth's parting words.
{~~~}
When he returned to consciousness, Amestris found himself lying on a couch in the Führer's office. Crowded around him with their eyes wide with disbelief were Al, Winry, Hawkeye and the Führer-bastard himself.
"Ed… you're alive." Winry muttered, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Big brother!" Al cried as he tackled his revived older sibling. In was times like this that Ed was glad his brother was flesh and blood and not a fifty-something kilogram vintage armour.
Hawkeye remained rooted to her spot while Mustang began muttering things under his breath. Amestris turned to see Xerxes sitting next to him, his arms crossed with a scabbard in one hand, his automail leg in the other and a Truth-worthy smirk planted across his face.
"Xerxes." He stated, his voice even and emotionless.
"Amestris." The older (former) nation replied in an identical tone.
Al had removed himself from his brother and Winry wiped the tears from her eyes. Everyone's attention was set on the two personifications.
Edward took in a deep breath. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" he yelled with a volume equal to one of his 'who are you calling short, you *beep*?' rants. "COULDN'T YOU HAVE FOUND A MORE SUTLE WAS TO 'WAKE ME UP'?!"
"Unless you wanted me to perform Human Trasmutation on you; then no, there wasn't another way."
Ed immediately calmed down and began muttering apologies. Mustang was surprised at how Xerxes had dealt with Fullmetal's temper tantrum. The former nation had kept his voice calm and neutral during the situation while he would have insulted him and added more fuel to the pipsqueak's rage.
"So what this man has been telling us is true?" Winry asked. "Are you really the embodiment of Amestris?" Even though she had seen him wake up when he had no pule and his leg grow back right in front of her eyes, the mechanic was still sceptical and was sure everyone else, except Xerxes, agreed with her.
Ed sighed then answered, "Look into my eyes and tell me what you see."
They did just that and peered into his golden orbs and were immediately overtaken by familiar images: the strength and cold of the Northern Wall, the hustle and bustle of Rush Valley and the pastures of Resembool. There was also a feeling of unity, national pride and… home. Something warm and familiar. Something that made Amestris… well, Amestris.
There was no doubt in them no. No matter how impossible it seemed, Edward Elric was Amestris. He was their country; their home. The one they fought wars for and protected. He was their pride, family and everything else that they connected to their nation.
The looks on their faces said it all and Ed didn't wait for an answer to continue talking. "I may be some sort of immortal-homunculus-thing but that doesn't change who I am. I'm still Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist."
"But you can't perform alchemy." Mustang pointed out.
Ed smirked and one clap later, the couch had a slightly thinner frame and a new pair of grotesque horns. "Truth may be a bastard but he does have a nicer side to it." Though something lingered in the back of his mind, Truth never did something unless something of equal value was given or lost. Equivalent Exchange. So what was the equivalence for the return of his alchemy?
"What does an embodiment do?" Hawkeye questioned. "What's their place in government? What's their job?"
The sniper's pulled then resubmerged Amestris from his thoughts. "Well, when I was under that Homunculus-bastard, he kept me locked up most the time under Central. I only ever went out during war where the bastard expected me to kill the opposing embodiment." Remembering his time under 'Father' was something he'd rather avoid, but he had to face his past if he were to move on towards the future. "Before that, when I was still a city-state, all I ever did was attend some town meetings and I fell asleep during most of them. I actually spent most my early days at Xerxes's place rather than my own lands. But then again, during that time, I physically looked around three or four at the time so they treated me as such."
"That doesn't give us much information about what a personification is meant to do." Mustang said before turning to Xerxes and asked, "What did you do as a nation?"
"Got drunk, played pranks and babysitting." The former nation joked but at Hawkeye's stern gaze and a click of a gun, he said seriously, "I generally dealt with foreign relations and alliances with other countries. While to normal people an international alliance is a bunch of politics, to us, the embodiments of the nations themselves, is a friendship or, in more extreme cases, a marriage. So it's generally easier for an alliance to be made between personifications rather than politicians.
"I also was one of the king's advisors. Since we embody the people rather than the government, we can tell our bosses the people's needs and interests and how certain things would affect the population. Though that doesn't mean they always listen." Xerxes remembered that he told his last king to stop his quest for immortality and that the Speck in the Flask wasn't to be trusted but he didn't listen and look where they were now: their land in ruins and the population a little red rock.
"So in other words… I can have the pipsqueak 'help' me with my paperwork." Mustang concluded. "Not that he's tall enough to reach the top of the stack."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING-?!"
Ed burst into another short rant while everyone else started laughing. Though he was now the immortal personification of Amestris, he still was and always will be Edward Elric.
{~~~}
Thanks for reading and if you want me to continue this story as a series of oneshots, please leave a review or PM. Any and all ideas will be welcomed. Now… it's time for some music!
{~~~}
Omake: Marukaite Chikyuu – Amestris
Oi oi Hohenheim, don't you dare give me milk!
Ne ne Mother, ne ne Mother,
Never will I forget the taste of the stew
That you made long ago…
Draw a circle, there's the world!
Draw a circle, there's the world!
Draw a circle, there's the world!
I am Amestris!
Draw a circle, there's the world!
Round and spherical, that's the world!
Is it really the world?
I am Amestris!
Aah, with just a stroke of a paintbrush,
A wonderful world can be seen.
Travelling across the land
Is exhausting!
("No matter what they say, I'm not short.
Everyone else is just freakishly tall!)
Draw a circle, there's the world!
Draw a circle, there's the world!
Draw a circle, there's the world!
I am Amestris!
Draw a circle, comprehend!
Draw a circle, deconstruct!
Draw a circle, reconstruct!
I am Amestris!
Aah, alchemy
Is a complex science.
("It's not magic!)
Its power comes from
The tectonic plates!
Hey hey Al, put that cat back!
Sorry, Winry, I didn't mean to break it!
Oi oi Mustang, you're a bastard!
Um… Hawkeye…
*Click* (Gulp!)
Oi oi Hohenheim… why did you leave?
Ne ne Mother, ne ne Mother,
All Al and I wanted was
To see you smile again…
Alchemy's important law:
Equivalent Exchange!
Draw a circle, don't forget…
Draw a circle, I won't forget…
Never will I ever forget…
I am Amestris!
Aah, my mistake
Is something I'll never forget.
As long as I'm alive
I'll set things right!
Aah, my memories
Are full of pain and joy.
Forever, will I carry
These scars of the past.