You know how I said I wouldn't be able to update until the 19th of May? Yeah, well an idea for a one-shit didn't come to mind when I said that. I'm still not going to update Rise of the Planet of the Nine or Ocrais, or resume updating Total Drama: Island Renewed or Watch Out Girls! It's Sierra! Not until at least the 19th of May. I've only two more exams left, and then I'm done my first year in college. Then I have three and a half months of sitting on my arse and updating my stories.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Total Drama.
Duncan looked to his left.
Duncan looked to his right.
When the coast was clear, Duncan grabbed the gutter and climbed up until he reached the opened two-storey window and climbed in. He was in a bedroom with pink walls, a bed with pink duvets and pillows and a white bed-frame, a white locker, a white wardrobe and a white plasma screen smart TV. Why did Duncan enter this room? Well, last week he returned to the life of crime after his partner, Gwen, decided to cut back how much money he could spend on weed and booze. The delinquent came across this suburb outside Toronto and decided to rob some of the houses there. This house he was in was the only house in the estate without an alarm system installed. This wasn't the first time Duncan broke in: he broke in before to raid some beer from the fridge. This time, he was after some clothes. He opened the wardrobe and proceeded to search for the right dress.
"WE HAVE A DOORBELL YOU KNOW! CURSE YOUR IGNORANCE OF THE APPROPRIATE METHODS CONVENTIONALLY EMPLOYED TO ENTER ANOTHER PERSON'S HOUSE! GOSH!" came an eerily familiar voice. Duncan froze. He turned around to see Harold standing at the door, glaring at him.
"Harold?!" Duncan choked. "You're living here!"
"Yes I do!" Harold sneered.
Duncan rolled his eyes. "No wonder your family doesn't bother with an alarm," he sneered back. "How in their right mind would want to break into your house if you've touched everything?"
"I'll have you know that I am perfect robbing material!" Harold defended himself. "It's just that we don't need an alarm because of my mad skills."
"Yeah sure," Duncan rolled his eyes. "Would your sister mind if I borrowed these?" he asked, holding up a frilly pink dress and a frilly pink wig.
"Those aren't my sister's, those are MINE, GOSH!" growled Harold.
Duncan looked at the lanky nerd in sheer horror. "Wait, you cross dress?!" he asked.
"Yes, but by the looks of it, you're thinking of doing it as well," Harold replied. "And you shouldn't be in my room looking through my things, IDIOT!"
"Yeah, to get this girl who's a lesbo to like me," Duncan insisted. "Knowing you, you'd probably go in drag to impress Chef Hatchet! Later!" The delinquent left the room through the window, trying to erase that conversation from his member. Harold ran up to the window, looked out and yelled:
"TO GET A HOMOSEXUAL FEMALE TO LIKE YOU, YOU HAVE TO UNDERGO A SEX-REASSIGNMENT SURGERY! AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I WEAR THE DRESS TO APPEAL TO MY FAIR LESHAWNA, WHO'S BISEXUAL! IT'S JUST THAT CHEF HATCHET KEEPS STALKING ME! GOSH!" But Duncan was already out of ear-shot by that point.
Eva was sitting in her sitting room watching the telly. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Eva grunted with frustration as she paused the programme and switched the telly off so that no one would know that she was watching Jersey Shore. She made her way over to the front door and opened it. There stood Duncan, wearing the dress and the wig.
"Hey, you must be Eva," said Duncan, in his fake, womanly voice.
"I know it's you Duncan," Eva growled. "And seriously, what are you doing in that dress?" She paused for a moment and snarled. "YOU WERE TRYING TO GET IN BED WITH ME, WEREN'T YA?! WELL I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT JUST BECAUSE I'M STRONG AND ATHLETIC DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M A LESBIAN! I LIKE GUYS!"
"Oh," said Duncan. "Well, now that you're straight and now that I no longer have to wear them shitty clothes, you wanna make out?" he asked.
"Not after your stereotypical bullshit!" snapped Eva. "Besides, aren't you supposed to be living with Gwen?!"
"She's at work," Duncan pointed out. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?"
"Unless I tell her, of course!" Eva snarled. "I knew she made a mistake by becoming your girlfriend! She should've just gotten back with Trent before his number nine obsession took a turn for the worse, or went with Cody!"
"Hey, I just need the sex, alright?!" Duncan defended himself.
Eva was livid. "So THAT'S how it is, huh?! You just use women for sex, is that it?!"
"No, I use them to make me money to spend on alcohol and weed," Duncan added. Eva had had enough. She was going to end Gwuncan. She was also going to end Duncan's life as well. She grabbed Duncan by the neck, dragged him to the utility room, flung open the door to the cellar and threw Duncan in.
"WHAT THE-" Duncan tried to shout, but he was cut off by the landing at the bottom of the stairs. He was knocked unconscious.
"Just you wait until Gwen gets a load of you!" Eva snarled, before slamming the door shut.
"I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have dated him!"
Three hours after Eva imprisoned Duncan, Gwen arrived to pick him up and break up with him. Apparently, she knew Duncan was squandering half the money she earned on booze and drugs and she knew that Duncan was sneaking off while she was at work. She's known this for months, but hid that fact from Duncan. This made her realise what a tool Duncan was, because if he really loved her, he would have noticed the suspicious looks she was giving him because he was looking at her eyes when talking with her and spending more time with her.
"He's in here," said Eva, opening the door to the cellar.
"Thanks, Eva," said Gwen. She entered the cellar, only to see Duncan head separated from his body.
"OH MY GOD!" shrieked Gwen. Eva ran down the stairs and saw what Gwen saw as well.
"How could this have happened?!" Eva wondered. "Who would go to great lengths to kill Duncan?! And how did they get in my basement? I thought I locked all the windows- oh, I forgot to lock the door to the outside," she said, sheepishly.
One hour earlier…
Duncan was lying on the floor because he was too injured to get up. All of a sudden, he heard the sound of a door opening, followed by a gust of wind, and then the door closing shut.
"He-hello?" Duncan called out. All he got was a series of footsteps in reply. The source of the noise came into Duncan's view. He was surprised to see who it was.
"Courtney?" he asked. "W-what are you doing here?"
Courtney didn't answer him. All she did was raise her machete.
Present
"Oops," said Eva.
"Well at least it saved him from me giving him the riot act," said Gwen. Before she could say something else, there was another ring from the doorbell. Eva answered it.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"Whiney Girl told me the Delinquent was in drag in yo basement, right?" asked Chef.
"Well, that used to be the case," said Eva, "but his headless corpse and his severed head are still here if you want them."
"Thanks," said Chef, heading to Eva's cellar to retrieve Duncan's body and head. "Tell Harold he'll get his dress back in a week, and that he may need to put the dress into the washing machine when he gets it back. There'll be more than just blood to wash out."
"Yeah, we didn't need to know that, Chef," said Gwen.
And that concludes yet another disturbing story. Not much to say, except that I will resume my story writing when my exams are all done. After that, my main priority will be updating Total Drama: Island Renewed. Four months of no updates is just too long. In fact, I've already written the first few sentences.