House: The Generic Fanfic
"I'm sorry you freakin' jackarse, but your stupid wife has acute boneitis because of how much you suck.
"Doctor House" that dyeing chicks grieving husband said "how can you say something so cruel?"
"Cause I'm a doctor bitch!"
Doctor House picked up a conveniently placed American flag and ran at that dude whose wife was dyeing, impaling him bloodily, before tearing out his bones and transplanting them into his wife whilst blindfolded and high on happy drugs.
"Doctor!" that chick whose name I can't remember said as she stormed into the room "you can't do that because of laws and stuff!"
"Well fuck them" House replied, as he impaled the law on his gigantic penis.
"Oh House!" that hot blonde who used to sit a few seats in front of me in science class said. "Make love to me!"
And he did. And it was totally awesome.