Hello there! So it's a little story about Reid and having a bad night. I thought about it when I could not sleep last night and I wrote it quickly today! Please take note, english is not my first language and I'm not near anything close an english community. Please be kind and patient with me? And enjoy!

Reid woke up with a start and sat up in his bed, his heart pounding loudly in his chest, deafening him. He looked around for a moment, rubbing his eyes and trying to see clear without his lens.

"It was just a dream. Not real", his mind repeated to him a he got up to make coffee.

He knew he wasn't going to fall asleep again and he sighed of annoyance when he saw the clock showing three o'clock.

He sat on the couch, taking the first sip of a somewhat comforting coffee cup, his elbows resting on his thighs.

He soon headed to the BAU, feeling unuseful sitting there. It was almost four by then and he stopped, surprised, when he saw lights on in Rossi's office. He hesitated for a second, before deciding to check if the older man was really there.

Even more surprisingly, David Rossi really was sitting at his desk reading a book. He looked up when he heard Reid's footsteps and cocked his head, inviting the younger agent to sit down.

"Rough night?", he asked quietly.

"Yeah. It's just stressful times, I suppose.", Spencer replied, shrugging.

Rossi went back to his book with a nod and the doctor played with a paperclip for a while before asking without thinking "Do you ever think how you could have made things differently?"

Rossi's head shot up and he darted his eyes, searching Reid's face, but finding only awkwardness.

"Maybe. Talking about your job choices?", David wondered.

"Not in the way you say it. More like the choices you've made on the field. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." the younger said, looking away.

"No, that's okay. Of course I do think about that sometimes. Is there a specific choice that you regret?"

Reid bit his lip and thought about it before answering "Yes. I mean, we all make mistakes, but... I don't know what took me when I left JJ in that shed to run after Hankel. It was stupid. However, I don't get why I don't feel bad when I think about Owen or the plague. It's the same thing."

Rossi smiled disapprovingly and shook his head "No it's not. The pain and cruelty that was inflicted with Tobias Hankel was different. You were tortured for three days. And there are consequences about it, too. And by that I mean the fact that you had a drug addiction for months after this."

Reid's eyebrows shot up in surprise. David was the first one who said it aloud about knowing about the drugs. He didn't seem to notice Spencer's shock because he went on about it "It was long term consequences. You will struggle with everyday for the rest of your life and you will always have difficulties to go on the field."

"I don't ha..." Reid started.

"You do. It doesn't affect you in doing your job correctly, but you always feel that pinch of fear when you're in the SUV. And it's perfectly normal. But Reid, the choices you've made, you can't regret them now.''

The doctor took a deep breath and nodded slightly ''Yeah. I know. It's just… When I'm stressed… Will I have nightmares for the rest of my life? Craving for the rest of my life?''

''Probably. I don't believe in psychologist'' Rossi said with half a teasing smile. ''When the anxiety kicks in, bad things always come up. Our body and mind knows that there are things that we have done that could… Let's say help us get through it. But I think the important thing is your conscious knows that it's not the good thing to do. And you know what? You will always have people to go to. Like me. Or Aaron. Or anyone, truly, even if we screwed up with you sometimes before.'' he promised.

''Thanks, Rossi. And you didn't messed with me. Especially you.'' Reid smiled back, even if he looked still tired.

''And why is that?'' Rossi said, surprised.

''Because you say the real things to people. You don't hide the truth just to make us feel better. Like my drug addiction. You were the first and probably the last one to mention it aloud.'' Spencer admitted.

''And how does it feels?''

''Hey, are you profiling me?'' Reid frowned shortly. ''But, yeah, it feels really good. weird, but good. It was like it never existed, you know. Everyone avoid it like… plague, actually. But you don't. So thank you about that.''

''You're welcome'' David smiled.

Will you be nice enough to leave me a fabulous and kind review to let me know what you thought of my story?

SmartBlackRose