Hello ^^ this is my very first story in English, and my very first on this site too... I'm.. Not very good with English and l'm sorry if it comes out a little bad. I would be very happy if I got a comment and review..
l'm still not sure if I can write well in English, but I try my best.

Edit: thank you for my bata, crystalbluefox that read it again and helped me improve it.

and thank you for my new bata opens up 4 nobody

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Chapter 1

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It took him a long time to understand what was bothering him. It wasn't like he didn't know what it was- he did! It was just too much to admit it to himself, not to mention the others in his crew. That thing that had been nagging at him, it bothered him every time he saw that stupid, idiotic excuse of a moss-head.

On one hand he enjoyed their fights and the competition between them. It was like some kind of a bond that he had never experienced with anybody else. In their fights, Zoro was completely with him, and only with him. On the other hand, he knew how deeply loyal the moss head was toward their captain, Luffy. Although, he himself felt some of that loyalty to him as well, it was nothing compared to the moss-head asshole loyalty.

No, not even close. It was a fact, and he had already accepted it. He lived with that knowledge every single day this feeling of his would never be able to be compared to the moss-head's loyalty to their captain, it would never be prioritized above that loyalty, and therefore he was never going to mention it to anybody.

For some reason it felt so frustratingly. It annoyed him so much that it was actually… tiring. How stupid is that anyway? It's not like he did anything difficult or something to acknowledge this thing, to accept it, he even tried to ignore it… but it was no use. Whatever he tried, even to hate that stupid fucker… he still felt like this. He was not sure when or why this even started inside him… This tired attitude.

Tired from all of this, not the adventures they had together, those were fun. But this thing with the marimo, this feeling that he himself couldn't admit to himself, even if he is going to die a terrible death someday, he was never going to accept it and never going to talk about it.

Maybe it was for the best, everyone already believed that they had a brotherly-hate relationship, and the asshole never treated him differently than the others.

It's true that this asshole always enjoyed to insult and irritate him but… it wasn't like he didn't enjoy to do the same to him. It was a "funny" weird game that they "played" between them.

He also knew how this asshole loved to sacrifice his life for his Nakama's wellbeing, especially for Luffy's… but also for the cook -but that's the thing! He never wanted this self sacrificing act! He never asked for it in the first place!

Stupid shitty marimo!

But he couldn't tell him that, his hatred for is self sacrificing masochistic acts now... could he?

So he just kept his mouth shut and smoked his favorite cigarettes on the railing. Blowing out the smoke to the air and shared the last stub with the sea, as he tossed it out into the ocean. He turned his back to it and returned to his Kitchen, as he always did and always will do; starting dinner, listening to the noise from the idiots outside, who playfully did their own things, as they always did.

He was also well aware of the secrets this asshole wouldn't tell to anybody, of his precious "past" he kept to himself. The reason as to why he wanted to become the greatest swordsman in the world. But like the shitty marimo, he too had his own secrets. And he was fine with things this way, he wasn't interested what kind of shit happened in his past, the shit in the past could stay behind, for all he cared.

He finished preparing the meals just before the scream for food, that he long ago grown accustomed to hearing and the breakthrough of his captain into the kitchen.

"Sanji food!"

It was both a nice but also an annoying routine at the same time.
"Food is ready, Nami-san… Robin-chwan." Sanji called with a passionate voice, eyes like hearts as he started his weird dance as they enter the Kitchen. All to please the ladies.

"Thanks, sanji-kun."

"Thank you, cook-san."

"Here's yours, assholes."

After he did his usual reaction over the girls, he handed the others their meals, before taking his own place among them, he loved the noise, he loved to hear how much they enjoyed his food and he loved their happy laugher. Smiling wasn't hard, on the contrary, but Sanji didn't care, he didn't care to smile goofily and at his friends, because it was welcome, because he was a part of them, and kicking Luffy's head when he tried to steal food, was just a part of it all.

Although he always sent short glances toward the swordsman every now and then, disguised in an annoyed glare if he should get caught, but he never said anything. At least not during the meal time.

Anyway, the fun did not last for long, suddenly they heard the sound of a bird calling from the deck, and a really noisy one too. They stopped eating and looked at one another.

"Did you hear that, Luffy?" Nami asked, the others nodded positively with their heads.

"Yeah... Wonder what it is," Luffy said with his mouth full of food.

"Let's go check it out." Nami said briefly and everyone did as she said getting up. They went to the deck, but there was nothing unusual to seen, except for a strange bird that was a little too big for a normal bird. It was sitting on the deck, its strange colors only intensified its hard look.

"What's with the bird?" Sanji asked.

"She look strange," Nami said with a suspicious look.

"She look yummy!" Luffy jumped before any of them ever could stop him.

"W..wait a sec… -Luffy!" Nami yelled, but like always he didn't listen and approached the bird until he was in front of it.

"Amazing! She's soo big!" Luffy said and wandered around the bird like a curious child.

"Maybe she's like a special extinct birds that nobody had seen before. Have I ever told you how I, the great Captain Usopp, saved 1000 birds from a hurricane storm …oi, are you listening?!" Usopp shouted when he noticed that they were all ignoring him.

"I think this bird belong to someone of royalty," Robin said.

"Why do you think that?" Chooper asked.

"Look at how nurtured she is... and the collar on her neck." Robin pointed, Sanji nodded.

"Robin-chwan's so smart!" He exclaimed with hearts in his eyes.

"Hmm? What's that?" Luffy asked, as the bird passed him the daily newspaper and a letter. The others came closer to check it out as well, but before they were able to do anything else, the bird lept up and took to the sky. Even after she disappeared into the night, Sanji couldn't stop looking after her wondering for himself

"What was up with that bird? I have a bad feeling about it."

"Let me see this…" Nami took the paper and the letter from Luffy and started to read it. After a while she looked at the cook who still looked toward the sky with a worried expression. "This paper looks very old, look at the date, and this letter…mm, Sanji-kun.."

"Ah? Yes, Nami-san?" Sanji turned to look at her, and received the letter from her hands.

"I think this is for you, see? It has your name on it." The others turned to him with curious stares.

"Why don't you open it?" Usopp said, who was curious as hell like the others were.

"Yeah, open it, bro," Franky said with excitement.

Sanji glanced at the letters with his name and sighed as he put it in his pocket taking out a cigarette. He lit it and took a deep breath.

"Come on! Why you all just standing here for?! Dinner's getting cold."

"Open the letter Sanji, don't be an ass!"

"I am an ass, live with it!" He said, giving them his best annoying smirk.

Both Chopper and Usopp grumbled in annoyance, but they were both too curious to just let it go, the rest of them just looked at him. He tried to ignore the swordsman's gaze, it bored into him, telling him that he knew that something was wrong, but it was Robin who instead voiced their concern. "Are you all right, cook-san?"

Sanji blew out some smoke and gave her a big smile.

"Well of course, Robin-chwan. l"m so happy that you would worry about me!" With hearts in his eyes again, he took her hands while happily jumping around her, but it came to an abrupt end as he got punched in the head by Nami.

"Stop with the idiotic behavior! l'm too tired for this. Thanks for the dinner and good night," She said and walked away from them, when behind her Sanji jumped, waving after her.

"Good night, my sweet love Nami-saaan," he said with passionate gleeful voice, the hearts this time almost blooming out of his eyes.

"I want to know what it say!" Luffy exclaimed, pointing at the cook's pocket, who in return swirled around and kicked him in the head, making his way toward the boy's sleeping quarters. "Oww, Sanji you… Why did you do that?" Luffy howled and touched his head.

"It's too freaking dark to read outside, and it's late! Eat the rest of the dinner or go to sleep! I'll take care of the dishes tomorrow." Sanji stopped for a moment and sighed as he heard his captain's pitiful whining. "Tomorrow, I will read it tomorrow and tell you, okay? Don't worry, Luffy," the cook said in a calming voice without looking back, before heading inside to get some sleep… and some peace.

"Oh.. Okay then. Tomorrow!" Luffy responded with his usual big smile, just like a child, while the others screamed at him with unsatisfied expressions.

"Luffy!"

"How could you! We want to know!" Chopper protested with a pout.

"Eh? Don't worry, we can trust Sanji," Luffy said with his usual big smile, the others just sighs and moves to another subject. They went inside to eat the rest of the dinner. After eating they sat there for a few minutes and talked about the paper they got from the bird. Robin decided to check it out the following morning. After clearing the table and counters, they all said their goodnights and went to sleep, each in their own place. Except for Zoro, who had nightshift. At some point in the silent night, he went to the boy's bunkroom, from where a cacophony of different muffled snores erupted. Looking at Sanji through the darkness, he moved closer, as silently as he could.

"Oi, shit cook. I know you're not sleeping," he said in an harsh but hushed tone, he didn't want to wake up any of the others.

"Now that you woke me up I'm not, asshole marimo!" Sanji mumbled back, with his back turned towards him.

"What's your problem, damn cook?!"

"Nothing! Just let me sleep, you fucking moron!"

"I'm not letting you until you spit it out," Zoro said, showing his seriousness by giving the cook a little kick. Sanji just growled at him but didn't say anything but that. He refused to give anything to the swordsman except for growls and a very annoyed glare. After the fifth kick he had enough though.

"What the hell do you want, damn marimo?!"

"You didn't want the other's to know what was written in that letter. You're hiding something, isn't that it, damn cook?"

"I didn't say that. It's your imagination," the cook answer with a very low voice, almost a whisper, as was he slowly drifting into sleep.

"Instincts. And my instincts are always right," the swordsman corrected him, the cook sighed.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you… but they're wrong this time. And don't you have a night watch to take care of tonight?" It was the first thing that came up in the cook's head to get rid of the swordsman, and it worked perfectly, since he could hear the grumpy stomping, as the swordsman walked away.

"I'm not done with you, better remember that, shitty cook!" Zoro promised, and with that he left the room.

"Damn shitty marimo moss head!" The cook cursed at him and closed his eyes, hoping for sleep finally to catch him and drag him down to peaceful unknowingness.

To be continued...