Chapter One: Falling Out of Windows? Yes, Posters? No.

Bliss Wood shoved at my shoulder blade as I mosied through the soundtrack section of Gnarly Dick's.

"Nix, come on. Clearly, you are not going to find it here," she insisted.

I huffed. "Yes, I am, it has got to be here somewhere. And anyway, this is the last stop, don't get your knickers in a twist."

She paused, raising an eyebrow at me. "Knickers? Really? You nerd."

I chose to take the higher rode and ignored her, continuing my search for the music of "Master and Commander: Far Side of the World." We passed posters for various movies, Bliss growing increasingly impatient as I eyed the selections. Damn. Still nothing.

"Phoenix, it is not here. Give it up! Besides, I've gotta meet Daisy and Lionel for tea in twenty minutes." She scowled at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Tea? Now who's being a nerd, hmm?"As if they'd care if she was late anyway.

Bliss' ulta-cool parents were renegade hippies and couldn't give a flying horseshit of when their OCD daughter showed up. They'd been good friends with my parents back in the Woodstock days, but since had parted ways. With my folks, I mean, not each other. My parents had ditched the peace and love about the time my older brother had turned thirteen. The new constraints hadn't bothered me as much as they'd bothered Adam. But that didn't really matter now.

With a sigh, I slumped against the wall to skim the wall of artists. Bliss shot me a look and shoved again at my shoulder, throwing me off balance. My feet twisted and I fell backwards, dragging Bliss with me. Only, we never hit the floor.

We fell down, spinning and knocking into each other. Spirals of light, bursts of color, an obnoxious ringing in my ears as the world dissolved. Then, with a thud and a yelp, it was over.

The colors steadied themselves into greens and browns, forming trees and dirt. Trees. And dirt.

"Phoenix."

"Bliss."

"What. The hell. Just. Happened?"

"I have no freaking clue."

"Where in God's name are we?"

"I've no freaking clue."

"Well, son of a bitch."

"Yeah. No kidding."

"Fuck me."

"I'd rather not."

"Fuck me sideways."

"Bliss...not now."

"Oh, shut up. You know what I mean."

I did. We were smack dab in the middle of a muggy, scary forest with no one in sight. What the French Toast?

After a minute of staring blankly, both of us stood up, brushing twigs and dirt off our backs. The trees were well spaced, but natural, without an actual path. Bliss stood very still and fumbled in her pocket until she had hold of her phone.

"Phoenix, my phone is not working."

"Huh?"

"I have no service. And it's about to die. I think I'm going to have a panic attack."

Ah, shit. I sucked in a breath, feeling close to insane myself. "Just keep calm. Who knows what happened. It could all just be..."I trailed off, having no clue whatsoever what this was.

Bliss shook her head. "I have a very bad feeling, Nix. I don't think we're getting back anytime soon."

We exchanged a long look. What was going on in Gnarly Dick's? Were we drugged somehow and dropped in the woods? Oi vey.

"Maybe we should make like Hollywood and try to find a town?" I prompted.

"Right. Let's go then."

"Which way?"

"That way."

Slightly dazed and more than a little confused, we stumbled off into the unknown, hoping for some sign of guidance. Or, you know, a pay phone.

"Do. You have. A Tex-a-co?"

"No, miss, I can't say I've heard of that particular type of root. Least 'ways, not round these parts. But I'd be happy to-"

Bliss glared at the man sitting next to her on the wagon. "No, nevermind, please just let us off here. God." She widened her eyes at me in frustration.

I offered the poor guy an apologetic smile. He'd been nice enough to give us a ride, after we'd wandered directly into the path of his one horse buggy. He looked shocked that we'd come out of the "Old Forest" as he called it. Hmm.

We hopped off the wagon in the middle of a bustling town, that wasn't so bustling anymore. People (some regular sized, some very short) were scurrying into houses and buildings, eager to get in somewhere warm and dry. Oh, ugh. It had begun raining. So not good for my already poofy hair.

I squinted up at a few of the signs on the buildings, scanning for...I don't know. An inn? My eyes stopped at one that not only seemed promising, but was also chillingly familiar. A rearing white horse and the words, "The Prancing Pony." I clutched at Bliss' sleeve.

"Bliss...I think..." A scream cut off my words. Both of us whirled, sudden fear, choking and clawing, closing my throat. The street was empty but another screech filled the silence. Bliss ran forward and started trying doors, until one- the Prancing Pony, my mind noted- sprang open.

A small, serious looking man pulled both of us in by the collar. He held a finger to his lips and ushered us to the stairs. "Shh, shh. Get upstairs. It's no night for young ladies to be roaming the streets and there's a spare bedroom at the end of the hall. You'll have to talk to my master in the morning, though he'll agree that we couldn't've left you, everything taken into consideration. Go on with you now."

Shocked into obedience, Bliss and I went up to the second floor. She was frowning and looking at me like she'd just figured something out.

"Phoenix, I think-"

"We somehow got sucked into The Lord of the Rings?"

"I-...yeah. How did you know that?"

"The sign. How'd you?"

She smiled mischievously. "The Black Riders. The screams."

I took a deep breath. Things had just taken a turn for the worse. On the good side, at least we knew where we were...kind of.

Bliss opened one of the doors at random and, quite suddenly, two little something's tackled her, while a bigger something twisted my arm behind my back and ground my face into the wall.

"Oomf. Ow! Wha' da hell?"

"Who are you, stranger?"

I babbled incoherently as Bliss narrowed her eyes at the big something holding me. "Let us go and maybe we'll tell you." I assumed that they were having a staring contest because she didn't blink for a long moment.

"Very well. Sam, Pippin, let her go."

We were released and I helped Bliss to her feet. Standing in the doorway was a tall, dirty man, who was screaming Bad Guy to me. Behind him, I could barely make out four smaller figures in the light of only one candle. The man surveyed us moodily.

"I do not recognize you. Where do you come from?"

"The West? Around...um...the western region of, er..." My improvising failed as he cocked an eyebrow at me dryly. I felt myself flush.

"Look, it's not very pretty how we got here. But we need some help," Bliss explained, glossing over the part where we had come from another world. He nodded, though and stepped back into the room.

"I'm sorry but I cannot help you," he began, shaking his head.

I lunged forward before he could slam the door. "And someone else can?"

He paused then turned to his companions. I swallowed, feeling like I had intruded on something. Then he stepped back to admit us. "I will see what I can do. But know that it may be very little." I sighed, relieved and Bliss and I walked in. "I am called Strider."

I swallowed the urge to curse and scream and cry because really, really, Universe? You decide to drop us into this story? Bliss nudged me with her foot, silently telling me to put my lady feelings in a sack, at least he was taking us in, which meant we wouldn't be left alone in Tolkien's world. I cut my eyes at her, letting her know that that was a very, very small comfort.

"Phoenix."

"Bliss."

Strider nodded to us and moved to a chair by the window. Bliss went to sit down by the other four's bedrolls and I joined her. Soon, though, I was dozing off, curled up against the wall.

Frodo's voice woke me and I straightened with a jolt in my stomach and my heart in my mouth. Bliss was sitting with her chin on her knees, watching the candle flicker. The hobbits were all awake as well and I suppressed a sudden nerd-urge to flip out over them (but it was Sam! And Merry! And Pippin and Frodo! Uh-oh, my geek is showing).

"They were once men. Great kings of men. Then Sauron the Deceiver gave to them nine rings of power. Blinded by their greed, they took them without question. And one by one have fallen into darkness." Strider returned to gazing out the window.

"Ringwraiths, Nix! Finally," Bliss whispered, grasping my sleeve.

"Now they are slaves to his will." His eyes met both Bliss' and mine before moving back to Frodo. "They are the Nazgul. Ringwraiths. Neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the Ring, drawn to the power of the One." I made a face at Bliss. "They will never stop hunting you."

The hobbits looked among themselves, clearly worried about what they'd gotten themselves into. Strider watched resolutely into the street for more danger.

Merry yawned hugely and then so did I and soon Sam and Pippin and Bliss and Frodo were all yawning, too. I grinned, feeling somewhat more at ease and settled back down with a blanket to sleep.

"Phoenix. Bliss. Wake up, girls. We have a long way to go. Bliss!" Strider sighed. "I have breakfast."

Bliss sat up from beside me so fast that I could feel the wind of her movement puff my hair. One of the hobbits laughed and I pried my eyes open.

"She's almost as bad as Pip. Come on, it'll get cold."

I groaned, sitting up. "Oh, God, you're all morning people, aren't you?"

Strider hushed me. I grumbled under my breath to Bliss as we ate breakfast. Stupid man. Soon we were packing up supplies and then we were off. The innkeeper stopped Strider and they exchanged some words but from where I was standing by the hobbits and our new pack pony, I couldn't hear anything. Bliss was watching them too but then Strider joined us and the matter never came up.

We strode down the road for a good twenty minutes until Strider stopped. "This is where we leave you. I'm sorry I don't have the time to escort you back to your home but this road will take you East, if that is what you intend."

Bliss shot me a look and I repressed my panic. "Uh...you're just gonna leave us here?"

The hobbits exchanged looks and Strider frowned. "I trust you should find your home. Even if you did meet some trouble on your way to Bree."

"Riiight...well, the thing is...home is kind of..." I gestured vaguely to the sky. "A different dimension."

"Merry," Pippin whispered, "What's a dimension?"

I couldn't help but grin. Strider's face grew more impassive as he studied Bliss and me. "Another world?" he repeated dubiously.

"Uh-huh," Bliss acknowledged, grinning hugely and nodding. "This place is, uh...a myth, where we're from."

I nodded, proud of her wording. Myth was understandable to these guys. It made the two different worlds coexistable. Smart girl, that one.

"Maybe we should go with you guys," I suggested innocently.

Sam was looking less than welcoming but Frodo appeared intrigued. Then he nodded as well. Strider glanced back at them and sighed slightly. Then, before anyone could speak, he led us off the road and into the woods, to begin our journey.

At least the Universe agreed with me that it leaving Bliss and me alone in Middle Earth would only lead to disaster and hilarity. That was...something? Woot!

Merry and Pippin were trotting next to Bliss and I, chattering to each other shyly until Bliss caught them in silence.

"I'm Bliss. This is Phoenix." I waved brightly. "You guys know where we're going?"

They shrugged, then introduced themselves. "Merry."

"Pippin."

"So, how do you eat from where you're from?"

This set him and me off on a discussion of which really was the other white meat- ham or turkey.

"He's foul enough," I caught Merry muttering to Frodo and Sam.

"We have no choice but to follow him."

"But where's he leading us?" Sam interjected loudly. Bliss rolled her eyes at me.

"To Rivendale, Master Gamgee. The House of Elrond," Strider said from up front.

"Did you hear that? We're going to see the elves!"

I gasped in fake delight. "Like the ones who make shoes?"

Bliss put her hand on my shoulder. "No...like Orlando Bloom."

"Oh. Poo."

A/N: Geez that took a long time to type. And this is only part one! Gah! Anyway, more will be posted soon and leave any comments in a review. Thanks for your time.

Fred