"Sev, snap out of it!"
Severus looked down and rubbed his eyes, suddenly brought back to reality.
"What?" he mumbled, still a little dazed.
"You were daydreaming!"
"No… just thinking."
She smiled at him as he looked back at her. The truth was that he had been doing a little of both. The day was unseasonably warm, and he and Lily were sitting under a large oak tree on the rolling green hills of the school grounds. She was writing on a long piece of parchment for her Muggle Studies homework, while he had already finished his own work. Not that he was taking Muggle Studies as a class; that would be ridiculous. Severus knew all he wanted of muggles and was perfectly happy to put that all behind him. He never understood why Lily was so interested in taking that class over something more useful, like Herbology, or even Divination, but she said it was interesting to look at non-magical folk in a different light. Really, it was the coward's way out, taking a class so piteously easy … but he'd never say it to her face; it wasn't worth the argument.
No, while Lily was working away at her frivolous essay on the slow advance of technology over the past fifty years in muggle London, he was remembering the good times of the past. On that particular occasion, he was remembering his last summer holiday. His parents had decided to go away on holiday – separately – and he had the house to himself. It was easy looking after himself as Lucius Malfoy had so graciously allowed him to borrow a house elf, and life had never been better. While he wasn't allowed to perform any magic as he was only sixteen, he spent countless hours in his room writing up ideas for new spells, charms, and potions. While the Levicorpus spell was a huge success, it was a sad fact that Peter Pettigrew had snuck into his dormitory and scarpered away with Severus' notes on the spell and blabbed to his lecherous Gryffindor companions about it… Gryffindorks. His one opportunity to impress Lily by showing the sheer stupidity of her classmates had been stolen away, and once the school year had ended he could finally take the time needed to work away at making something even more impressive.
He didn't spend all of his time writing though, not when he lived so close to his most treasured friends. He held dinner parties, which were really more like informal gatherings, inviting his Slytherin 'Gang' as those Gryffindorks so cockily referred to them. They'd each request a favourite meal for the house elf Thatcher to cook up, and then stole away into his mother's firewhiskey. Once his friends were good and plastered one evening, he invited Lily Evans along so she could see just how much fun it was to be a Slytherin. She seemed frightened at first, but eventually she warmed up to the idea. After all, since Severus was under age he decided it was only fair if everyone else strictly went without magic whilst in his house.
The others were ordered to be on their best behaviour, and they all knew how dear Lily was to Severus, so even through the awkward banter and political correctness, the little Gryffindor lion cub played gently with the tipsy serpents. Soon it was late into the night and time for his friends to take their leave. Once it was only he and Lily left, Severus was finally able to talk to her in the privacy of an empty home. She said that the night was lovely, and that she knew he had some good friends. Her words were golden honey flowing to his ears, and he was content.
But that was only too long ago, and Severus was pulled back to the present, where he had to steal away to a hidden part of the grounds to gain some peace and quiet with Lily, and his gang were not so quick to be friendly again. Alas, he would not be in school forever, and so long as he had her he knew he would manage. It was all worth the torment of the others – Gryffindor and Slytherin alike – to see her smile.
The days grew shorter as the wind brought snow to batter against the castle's rafters. Christmas was coming, and so too were the Christmas holidays, but before that was a bout of midterm exams. Avery and Mulciber were whinging that they hadn't had enough time to remember all that was needed for their tests, and Snape was unsurprised. While he was busy studying into the late hours of each evening, they were out setting booby traps for the castle's caretaker Filch to set off. He frowned when they asked him to help them, but they were his friends, and that's what friends are for. However, instead of tutoring the pair or giving them his notebooks, he gave a leering smile and offered something a little more inventive.
"I've been reading in a dusty old tome of the art of legilimency."
"Legilimency? What's that?" asked Mulciber, scratching his head.
"You know we're not allowed to cheat or we'll be found out by the old Slug," chimed in Avery.
"Oh, it's not cheating," replied Severus, entwining his fingers together. "While you may not remember everything from our classes, you still attended. This will be a much quicker and easier way than having me reteach you and you have to actually absorb the information. Besides, it'll be fun."
"So long as it's not cheating, easier is better for me," Avery nodded his head as Mulciber agreed with him. "What do we need to do?"
"Well, I've not had the chance to really practise this, so I might need a few goes before I've got it down," Severus brushed his long hair out of his face, but it fell from his ear and back to where it was only moments before.
The two agreed and Severus took them to the potions cupboard, where Professor Slughorn had granted him permission to work in his spare time. It was an honour not given to any other student, as Severus was the only one in his class gifted enough with potions to be trusted near volatile concoctions such as Selkie venom or nightshade pollen. Truthfully, no one else seemed to want to be there, but Severus took solace in being surrounded by so many rare pieces of the magical world. It was in that very room that he gained quiet comfort, with a chair and small desk positioned in the far corner away from the door.
Severus placed Avery into the chair and charmed restraints around his head, wrists, and ankles. While Avery looked shocked, he was used to Severus' dabbling ways. For instance, he had helped to snag unsuspecting first years for him to test the Levicorpus spell on, but after they all managed to wriggle free and escape Severus decided to test the spell on Avery himself. He was sworn to secrecy about the spell, but after word leaked out to the rest of the students, Severus decided to teach him and Mulciber how to use and also disarm against it. Avery used it without restraint and took joy in having his own pet spell-maker.
It took a few days of trying, but eventually Severus found the correct methods and motions to break through the thick skull that was the barrier to Avery's memories. They flashed by too quickly for him to make sense of it all and he was ejected shortly after. Avery urged him on though, and Severus tried again, each time getting a little better at slowing down the thoughts. Once the day before the midterm exam had finally come they were close to a breakthrough. Severus had learned to control each memory, able to jump from one to the next at a thought's notice, and he had finally found the memories of classes buried underneath flirting with girls and scaring first years out of their knuts.
"That's it!" Avery shouted gleefully, forcing Severus out of his head to clap him on the back. "You've got it! My memories! Now all I need is to watch them and I'm all set for tomorrow. Great job Severus, as usual."
"Yes, great job," agreed Mulciber, who suddenly paused with a question. "But how do we watch the memories?"
"Easy," replied Severus.
"Oh, good."
"We break into the headmaster's office and use his pensieve."
"Oh, not so good."
"No, no. It's okay. We're having a Christmas party in there tonight with Professor Slughorn's club." Severus nodded to Avery, who had only just remembered. "Mulciber, I can sneak you in once the coast is clear."
"All this work with memories and I knew I forgot something," Avery sighed. "We're meant to take a date, aren't we? I think Wendy Slinkhard is going to be there so I didn't bother making any arrangements, if you know what I mean." He winked at Severus. "Who are you taking? Let me guess, that Gryffindor girl, Evans?"
"No, she'll already be there, so I don't need to make arrangements either."
Mulciber placed a friendly hand on Severus's shoulder and shook his head. "You're barking up the wrong tree with that one, Severus."
"Yeah, she'll never appreciate you for who you are. She's too… goody-goody," agreed Avery, scrunching up his face as he described her. "Besides, I thought she was into that Potter bloke."
Severus threw Mulciber's hand off of him and spun around to face both of them. "You don't know what you're talking about. She hates James Potter with good reason, and we're best friends."
"'Friends' is all you'll ever be. Meanwhile, there's plenty of better girls out there who understand what it means to be a Slytherin."
"She'll come around," Severus said coldly, but in his mind he was pleading with himself a little. "She came to that party I had in Summer, and she had a good time."
The pair in front of him shifted awkwardly but nodded all the same.
"Now sit still Avery, I still need to get those memories from you so I can put them in the pensieve tonight."
Snape and Avery walked up to the headmaster's door nervously and were greeted by a grumpy Filch wearing a dusty set of dress robes and a crooked bow tie. His cat, Mrs Norris, was sitting on his shoulder, and was wearing a jewelled collar that stood out against her ragged long fur. They handed him their invitations and he summoned the magical staircase to appear before them. This was Severus' first time in the headmaster's office, and it shone with spangled objects strewn across the room and hanging from the roof. These were likely Christmas decorations, but some other objects stood a little out of place and drew Severus' curiosity. A large magnifying glass, an abnormally large ornate bowl filled with sweets, and an empty birdcage were three of such objects. Professor Slughorn had set up a large dining table across the floor, and on it was a multitude of sweet and savoury treats bordered by a dainty china setting and stiff-backed dining chairs. Most of the guests had already arrived and they were milling about at one side of the room where some floor space was not taken up by the table. Avery moved away once he had seen the girl he admired, and shortly after Severus saw a glint of red hair.
"Lily," he called to her, and she turned and smiled warmly to him.
"Hey Sev, good to see you here." She was wearing a silver sequined gown that flowed down just past her knees, and a silver clip in her hair to match. She shone like a mirror and he could feel her happy glow engulf him.
"You look beautiful Lily," he smiled, suddenly feeling underdressed in his second hand dress robes of thin, dark cotton. He only hoped she couldn't see the places where his mother had mended the moth-eaten holes.
"So do you Sev." She still smiled at him, and he knew she didn't care about how much money a person had. She was kind like that.
"I'll go get you something to drink," he offered and she nodded, but by the time he had turned to grab a glass of fruit punch she was no longer alone. He nearly dropped the glass when he saw who had alleviated her isolation.
"Potter," he grumbled solemnly as he walked up to the pair and handed the glass to Lily.
"Oh, thank you Sev, but James already got me something to drink." The glass in her hand twinkled in the light with silent scorn at him.
"Yeah Snivellus, the lady doesn't need your help."
"James!" Lily hissed, trying to coax Severus to forget about the insult.
"Sorry Lil, but he just gets on my nerves. I mean, just look at him."
"I'm still here." Severus gritted his teeth and spoke in a low groan. His hands clenched into fists and he snapped the glass in two at the stem. Blood trickled from his palm, but it was painless.
"Severus, you're bleeding!" Lily bent over to inspect his hand, but he pushed her away. She looked down at where his hand had shoved her shoulder and a smear of blood covered a dozen glinting sequins. James jumped between them and snapped at Severus whilst trying to mop the blood off of Lily's dress with a napkin.
"Look at what you've done, you cretinous weed! You're lucky we're at a party, or I'd punch your nose in. Get out of here!"
Severus tried to intervene and help his friend, but eventually the yelling had started to cause some staring from the other guests, so he stormed away, throwing the glass to the ground.
Severus never bothered returning to the dining table for dinner that evening, and his place beside Professor Slughorn was noticeably bare. Instead, while everyone was tittering to each other over holiday tunes, he had wormed his way into a hidden room at the back of Dumbledore's office. The whole place was large enough to house several classrooms, and the front room now filled with diners was only a façade for a much more grand set of rooms beyond. In this particular room stood a pedestal at about waist-height, and in the pedestal was a bowl of silvery liquid that shimmered in the dull candlelight. Severus knew instantly from his books what it was: a pensieve. It was sitting alone in the centre of the room surrounded by walls lined with bookshelves and looked so plain, but to Severus it held so much potential. Though he was still fiercely angry with James Potter and even Lily for shunning him so, he knew he still had a task to complete for his friends. Besides, with the mood he was in, it was probably for the best if he worked out the kinks before showing them their memories. So, with a deep breath, Severus pulled out the small flask from his pocket, uncorked it, and tipped the contents into the pensieve.
The memories swirled around like the white strings of a spider's web, and he prodded at them with the tip of his wand. The instructions stated that he must separate out the unwanted memories to the side and leave the good ones in the middle, and then thrust his head into the silvery pool before him… so he did. At the very moment the tip of his nose touched the pensieve, he felt his whole body pulled into the bowl on top of the pedestal and he fell through a series of clouds of memory. Eventually he landed softly on a classroom chair, and found himself inside Avery's memory of a Charms class.
Professor Flitwick was teaching them the basics of resisting suggestion charms by having each student pair up and take turns suggesting and resisting. Severus remembered how boring this particular class was, and how he'd have found it much more interesting if they were resisting the Imperius curse instead. But no, they were only allow to use the power of suggestion to make each other clap their hands, or blink three times, or sing a song. It was child's play. He looked around the room and found himself sitting up the back with his group of friends looking just as bored as he remembered feeling. Meanwhile, Avery and Mulciber were having a grand time suggesting they slap themselves in the face… it was a shame for them that they hadn't mastered the power of resistance.
The memory began to fade while another took its place, this time it was Transfiguration, and they were learning how to change solid objects to fluids. This class was a little trickier than Charms, but Severus still got the hang of it quickly enough to spend a good deal of time watching his friends goof around and throw their semi-solid objects at a band of Hufflepuffs. Luckily, he had managed to cast a cleaning charm quickly enough that Professor McGonagall hadn't seen any of the action, and Mulciber patted him on the back with thanks for stopping him from getting a detention. The memory changed again to Divination, and apparently the stars had aligned to show a great evil was coming. He saw the back row of Slytherins cheer, while he sat there quietly, trying to understand exactly what that meant.
Every class was the same: Severus spent most of his time watching the others or cleaning up after them, their group making the most noise out of everyone. The teachers didn't seem to care, because they all had excellent grades. That was mostly thanks to him too, but not because they were stupid, oh no… they just didn't care. In fact, each and every one of Severus' companions, including those who had already graduated, were incredibly talented and skilled. Of course they had to be, as they were all pure-blooded and came from prestigious families. It wasn't acceptable to be anything other than exceptional. They were the soon-to-be kings and queens of the wizarding world, and they would inherit the earth itself in time. Unfortunately for Severus, his mother decided to marry a low-breed muggle, and so he was half-blooded, and would never reach that level of royalty. Once they had gotten to know him better, the Slytherins saw the greatness in Severus, and Bellatrix once referred to him as her 'little prince'. The name always stuck with him, and he had even written it on his potions book. They meant everything to him, and he'd follow them to the ends of the earth… so long as Lily was there beside him.
Another memory of a class faded into existence, this time of a Defence Against the Dark Arts class shared with the Gryffindors. Severus saw Avery duelling with Rosier, and unlike the other classes they were having no trouble concentrating at all. He searched the room for the past image of himself, and found it off to the side with another Slytherin student. He was obviously trying to show off to Lily, who was duelling a couple of groups away with Sirius Black. Unfortunately she didn't look towards Severus once during the spectacle, too busy working on her own hexes. He was ready to move onto the next memory when he saw Sirius lower his wand and walk up to Lily, putting his arm around her and smiling. Severus' natural reaction was to walk up to that part of the memory and listen in, ignoring Avery's cries of victory over Rosier.
They were halfway through a conversation by the time he made up the distance in the room, but it was enough for him to make out the topic.
"-great left hook there! You nearly took my hand off!" Sirius beamed at Lily.
She laughed in response, "You're being dramatic!"
"Well you know how we Gryffindors are! I'd say more like charismatic!"
"Sure thing," she laughed again. "It was good partnering up with you today. It's nice knowing that I don't have to go easy on you just because you're a girl."
"But I'm not a girl!" Sirius feigned shock and disgust, but a laugh escaped his lips before long.
"You know what I mean! Those other girls are all too soft for me. Give me some action any day."
"Like that?" Sirius nodded towards the Severus in the memory, who was working up a sweat with all of the effort he was putting in.
"Oh Sev, he's such a sweetheart, but we're just friends." She turned away from memory Severus and back towards Sirius.
His heart sank and he stood a little closer to them, his body blocking out the image of the memory of Sirius, so he was facing Lily and it was as if she was looking right into his sad eyes.
"But I heard he'd initiated you into the Slytherin gang," came Sirius' voice from where he stood.
"Who told you that?" Lily hushed herself and leaned in towards him, "That was supposed to be a secret."
"Peter knows a couple of Slytheries… they love to gossip."
"Oh Sirius, please don't tell anyone," she pleaded to him.
"But what about James? He's so lovesick for you and will feel so sad if he finds out you're a bonafide Slytherin."
"But I'm not! I didn't know they were going to be there, and he kind of sprung it on me. Really, it was one of the worst evenings ever. I can't stand them! But Sev's so sweet, I couldn't-"
"Tell him the truth?"
"Yes!"
That was enough. Of everything he knew about Lily Evans, Severus knew that she was the most genuine person he knew. But… to hear that she had lied to him rather than telling him the truth… that hurt him so much more than what had happened an hour before at the party. She was better than that! Or at least he thought she was. Severus stepped back from the memory and let it fade away as Potter and Lupin joined Sirius and Lily, and he watched them laugh themselves out of existence. He pulled himself out of the pensieve and fell backwards onto the floor to lean against a bookshelf. He had gone to such lengths to get Lily to love him, but she laughed at him behind his back instead! That was enough.
After what felt like an age, Severus straightened himself up and slunk out of the small room within the office. The party was still going, but dinner had finished. He found Avery sitting in a corner with Wendy and interrupted them. Then he strode as carefully as he could out of the office and to the magical stairs at its entrance. Mulciber stood there alone, and he let him in, telling him the same thing he told Avery, of the pensieve in the back room. For once, he let them do their own dirty work, and he excused himself back to the dungeons complaining of a stomach ache.
All that he could think about was her. Her beautiful hair, her gorgeous eyes, her soft smile. Everything about her was elegant and wondrous, and she gave him butterflies. So why did it hurt so much to think about her? They had been best friends since before Hogwarts, and he didn't even care that she was a muggleborn. In fact, that made her even more special, as everyone else he knew was a pureblood. He was their exception, and she was his. But she didn't love him like he loved her. No, she pretended to care about him, and then spat at his feet while he wasn't looking. It hurt… so much.
Severus spent the rest of that evening in bed, and tried to stay there the following morning, but was finally plucked out by weedy Evan Rosier and dragged to the great hall for their midterm exams. Even the sight of him was too much. Evan… Evan… Evans… Lily Evans. She punctured his heart and inside he was melting, but on the outside apparently no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. Was he just so pathetic that even on a good day he looked like he had been through hell? He should probably blame his parents for that. The thought provoked him, and he decided to put it all aside so that he could complete his exams, but when he sat down with his quill the answers seemed so foggy and far away.
Christmas came and everyone went home to their families. Everyone except Severus, who went home to an empty house yet again, but he liked it that way. To him a quiet home was a productive one – he could never concentrate when his parents were yelling at each other and throwing pieces of furniture. His test results came in the mail a few days later and he was appalled to see that he would need to work extraordinarily hard to get back to an O average for his classes. That was another reason he was glad to not have to deal with his parents, as dear old dad hadn't the foggiest idea of what was acceptable, and his mother only cared for her liquor these days. She was happy enough to have not produced a squib for a child. Severus had tired of the "just do your best" motivational speeches he had received as a young child; he was better than the both of his parents, and the moment he came of age he planned to pack up and leave the place.
Later that day he received owls from Avery and Mulciber thanking him for helping them get top marks. It made his blood boil, knowing that even in Avery's own memories the lazy git had done nothing at all productive, and even so the two brutes were rewarded for their lack of effort. He was the best, and he deserved to get that top spot, not them! It was all because Lily hated him for being in Slytherin… and she hated him because of the filth those Gryffindorks had planted in her head. Those bullies were not courageous – they were power-hungry hypocrites! To think that they shunned him for being inspired by the dark arts, when they were tormenting those that were 'below them' just for being different and passionate about something they didn't know. Severus knew in his bones that those boys were far worse than anything he could ever be. Sirius, who abandoned his own family. Traitor! Lupin, the werewolf mockery of a boy. Savage beast! Peter, the treacherous layabout who cared more for his own backside than being true and loyal. Backstabber! Potter… James Potter… the lowest of low… the scum of the earth, to pretend to be a hero when he was only an imposter. They thought they ruled Hogwarts, and they thought they had ensnared Lily… but there was still time to save her from their lies.
Severus sat in his dark room in the empty house and laid out his quill on the desk before him, piles of books on either side of him and a large stack of parchment in reserve. Though he couldn't use magic, he could still read from the tomes of dark arts that the Malfoys and Blacks had lent to him, and he could still write. So he read and wrote for the entire Christmas break, barely coming out to eat, and ignoring the doorbell ringing to herald Christmas tidings from his friends. By the time he was satisfied, it was the morning he was to go back to Hogwarts.
He packed his trunk quickly, as he had barely touched it since he had returned, and made sure to find a secure space for his potions book. In it he had made modifications for the potions he would be producing that term, scribbling over the elegant typing with his quill. He had also devised plans for a way to improve his privacy whilst talking with friends with a spell he called Muffliato. Finally, he had plans for one more spell, something that would make James Potter think twice about messing around with his Lily. He would need to try it out on someone first, but he was fairly sure it would work well with just a little tweaking.
The ride back to Hogwarts was long but uneventful, and Severus sat in the corner of a Slytherin cabin not saying a word, but focusing intently on his plans for that evening. He decided his target would be a house elf, stolen from the kitchens after dinner. He'd sneak to the Shrieking Shack on the outskirts of the school grounds and work for as long as he needed to until the spell was perfected. He had seen Lily in another cabin with her fellow prefects, and was unpleasantly surprised to see that she was still sitting with Potter. He had noticed that they weren't holding hands or sitting too closely, but he had to do something quick to nip that possible bloom of a romance in the bud. It gave him more determination for what he had to do, and the resolve to know that he was doing the right thing.
That evening, back in Hogwarts, he snuck away with a small elf called Gertrude and dragged unconscious her through the hollow below the Whomping Willow into the Shrieking Shack. He had slipped her a sleeping potion while she was cleaning the hallway near the kitchen and not a soul noticed her missing. She was old for an elf and had long, floppy ears, but was otherwise unremarkable. Soon she would have more features to accentuate herself. Thanks to his successful cast of Muffliato, no one heard the old elf scream. She wailed and cried for hours while Severus cut deep into her flesh, healed any internal bleeding, and then cut her again. He had discovered that thinking of his enemy made the cuts go deeper, and shouting that name was enough to gouge deep cuts into the wooden walls beyond his target. It was a productive evening, and by curfew he was satisfied.
The beauty of his testing arena was that everyone thought the Shrieking Shack to be haunted by the ghosts of tortured souls, and so no one ever ventured near. Truth be told, a handful of those souls had been tortured by previous Slytherin students who were keen to keep up practise with new and intriguing spells, and the legacy had been handed down to him by his wicked upperclassman Bella. He smiled, knowing that she would most certainly approve of this spell, but he had to keep it secret. This was his.
Severus looked down at the frail old elf, which was whimpering in the corner… if he could call it whimpering. She was covered from head to toe in gashes of differing sizes and most of her blood had come pooling around her limp body. Tired of this farce, he flicked his wand and the blood-soaked remains exploded into a million pieces. He left the shack dripping with viscera and made his way back to the dungeons to perform his last task. Though it took some time to get there, it was not difficult to steal his way back into the castle, and he had no problem getting to the potions cupboard where loved to work in silence. Once there, Severus sat in his usual place at the desk in the back corner of the room. He pulled out his copy of Advanced Potion Making and ran his fingers along the inscription: Property of the Half-Blood Prince. A dark smile crept along his face as he opened the book. It was here that he planned to keep his most treasured creations; no one would ever expect to find the most impressive pieces of dark magic in a tattered second-hand copy of a N.E.W.T. level potions book. He opened to a random page, dipped his quill in ink, and wrote in the margin:
Sectumsempra – for enemies.