From the Darkness

Author: Real Cute (Vex and Kitten)

Fandom: Yu Yu Hakusho

Pairings: Kurama/Hiei, Yusuke/Keiko, mentioned Kuwabara/Yukina

Rating: M

Warnings: Character death, violence, lots of angst. In future installments, there will be rape and male pregnancy. Please be aware of that before you start reading.

Disclaimer: Kitten and Vex own nothing, we promise.

Author's Notes: We politely request no flames but we will be simply ignoring them if they are received. For a full explanation of this story's origins, please visit our profile, where it is explained in full.

From the Darkness

Chapter One

"To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness." - Erich Fromm

Right before his very eyes, he'd lost her – his twin sister.

He still remembered the look in her eyes; the way they had widened in fear, then filled with tears. Before the tears solidified into gems, she was gone. The fool, Kuwabara, had also lost his life and, though Hiei did not want to admit it, the thought saddened him.

At least he had finally died doing something useful, even though he hadn't succeeded.

That had been three days ago. The day that both Kuwabara and Yukina lost their lives. The wake had been set for two days afterward, but he didn't see the point. Their souls had already passed on – this was just a formality. Showcasing the empty carcasses. It had been Yusuke's decision to have it at the temple, as Shizuru would be the only immediate family there.

Hiei stared at the two white coffins, not wanting to think about the bodies that were inside. He clenched his fists at his sides, glaring at first the coffins, then his gaze drifted downward, to his legs. If he had been faster, he could have saved them both. It was his own weakness that resulted in their deaths.

The ironic part was he hadn't even told her who he was, yet he had still put her in danger.

He resisted the urge to punch the seat, to do something to elevate the growing anger in his chest. He couldn't just sit here like this and mourn. He couldn't look at those coffins knowing who was inside of them, knowing that it was his fault.

"…Hey, Hiei, you alright?" Yusuke inquired, resting his hand on the little demon's shoulder. He was feeling the pain of loss too; Kuwabara was his best friend, one of the only people he'd let himself get close too other then Keiko. He felt just as shitty as everyone else but he knew that Hiei was taking it hard. And he knew that he'd just end up restraining everything and blowing up eventually if he didn't talk about it.

Then again, Hiei didn't talk much. Especially about his personal feelings.

A small growl escaped from Hiei's lips, and he slapped the detective's hand away. Didn't he understand that he didn't want to talk to anyone right now!? That he didn't need comforting? He was fine!

Yusuke retracted his hand, and shoved it into his pockets. "Hey, man…I'm not gonna say I know exactly how you feel, but we all feel something like it. So don't sit over here by yourself and feel guilty. It's not anyone's fault they're gone."

A fire began building in his chest, and Hiei finally looked up; glaring at the detective with all of the hatred he could muster. "I don't need comforting, Detective!" He spat, his eyes narrowing to slits. "They are gone. There's nothing more to it than that. I accept that."

"It doesn't sound like you do," Yusuke responded, grimly. But what else could he do? He went back to sit with Keiko and Shizuru.

"How is he?" Keiko questioned her boyfriend as he returned, not expecting a positive answer. She'd seen them talking and though she hadn't heard what they were saying, it was easy enough to tell that Hiei had reacted badly. They'd all expected as much. It wasn't as though there was any among them that didn't know how hard Hiei took this sort of thing anyway and for it to be Yukina and Kuwabara in those coffins... Well, no one was handling the situation with grace, so they could hardly expect Hiei to.

Shizuru looked up, having been resting her head against her knees, and snorted. "His aura's fluctuating like the American stock market," she muttered, glancing over at the dark demon. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. "It's a wonder he hasn't already done something incredibly stupid."

As much as Shizuru had loved her brother, still loved her brother, she knew Hiei was hurting more than she was. Because Shizuru was just the sister who stayed at home and made popcorn for the team when they gathered at her apartment. Hiei was the warrior who fought side by side with Kazuma, Yusuke, and Kurama. Today, Hiei was saying goodbye to the little sister he'd searched for most of his life and the friend he'd seen through countless battles. And the worst part was that Hiei probably thought it was all his fault.

"...Stupid kid," the brunette woman muttered before dropping her head again.

Yusuke shook his head in response. "He's not taking it very well." He paused, pushing his un-gelled hair out of his face. He just hadn't had the will to gel it this morning. Besides, Kuwabara had always said he looked less like a punk with it down like this, so the least he could do was look nice for the wake. "Then again, who the hell is? How are you two taking it?"

It was just…hard to believe that Kuwabara and Yukina were really gone. He almost expected Kuwabara to rise out of the coffin and declare, "Psyche! I fooled you, Urameshi! I, Kazuma Kuwabara, finally beat you!" Just like at the Dark Tournament. But he was really gone this time, and he wasn't coming back.

A familiar redheaded figure stepped through the doorway, as quiet and solemn as any being could be. Yusuke looked up at the sight of Kurama; unable to bring himself to smile. Though, he did feel a little bit better – if anyone could calm Hiei down, it was Kurama. He'd never seen two demons that were closer.

--

Hiei tapped his foot restlessly, barely able to keep himself in the chair directly in the front row; nearest to the coffins. He wanted to get the hell out of there. This was more then he could stand. He could feel the other's watching him, and he knew that he wasn't himself. But he couldn't contain himself.

The familiar scent of roses and human world shampoo filled his nose as Kurama entered the small room. His muscles tensed slightly. He didn't feel like having his mind analyzed by the irritating fox at the moment.

Kurama eyed the two coffins with a heavy heart as he approached them and knelt down before them to respect the dead.

His eyes searched the room as he stood again, adjusting his black kimono as he did so. Quickly he found the one he was searching for, sitting alone in a corner as was to be expected. He approached Hiei quietly and sat down beside his partner.

"How are you?" he asked, his tone as gentle as it had ever been. To be honest, he didn't expect a truthful answer from Hiei. Without a doubt, Hiei would attempt to keep his pain hidden, even when they were all sharing a similar hurt. Kurama was deeply worried for him.

Quickly, Hiei looked down; well-aware that it would decrease his chances of being analyzed. A small growl escaped his throat. "I'm fine. I don't know why everyone keeps asking."

The redhead's lips curved upwards in a tiny smile at his partner's typical defiant response. "Perhaps because we are all suffering ourselves," he murmured in response. "I'm sorry if you find it tiresome, Hiei, but I'm sure I can speak for everyone here when I say that we merely wish to be certain of your well being. You have always been the wild card of the group."

Kurama looked up again and sighed as he took in the tiny group gathered for the wake. Kuwabara had friends at school but it was an impossibility to invite them here. There were too many secrets to be stumbled upon and the last thing any of them wanted now was a mess with humans involved.

"I know you are blaming yourself for this," he continued, once again turning his gaze to his smaller companion. "That is an honorable feeling but it is false. You were not the only fighter there who failed to keep them safe. If you could have done anything at all, I am certain that you would have."

If there was one thing Hiei absolutely hated, it was being coddled. He didn't need to be comforted. He didn't need to be told that it "wasn't his fault" when it very obviously was. He had been the closest out of the group (besides Kuwabara) to Yukina and if he had been a little bit faster, he could have made it.

He was the fastest one out of all of them – it was entirely possible that he could have made it. But he had hesitated, just for a moment. That was the only reason he hadn't been able to make it. For that split second, fear had gripped him, stopped his legs from working properly.

It was his fault that they were dead.

His fault that they were lying in those white coffins.

His jaw clenched; and his fists became even tighter. He glared at the red-head for a moment, angry that he was trying to persuade him that it wasn't his fault. "I was the closest one, Kurama. I hesitated, and they died." Death was not a foreign thing to him, but death of family members…

For a moment after Hiei spoke, there was silence. The dead, uncomfortable kind that made the air feel heavy, somehow. Kurama knew he was fighting a losing battle with Hiei. When the fire demon got something in his head, it was impossible to convince him otherwise. Truth be told, Kurama had never managed to change Hiei's mind on anything without resorting to trickery.

"Maybe that's so," the fox spoke finally. "Maybe you did hesitate when you could have saved them." A hint of gold glinted in his eyes as his expression hardened. There was a time for this foolishness but right now was not it. Right now they were all grieving for their friends. "They're dead now and you can't fix that. So what will you do?"

Kurama wasn't going to persuade Hiei of something that was untrue. Hiei knew that it was his fault, and nothing the fox said was going to convince him otherwise. There was no point in trying to change his mind.

A small smirk appeared on the little demon's lips, despite the situation. At least Kurama never tried to keep that human act with him, like he did with the others. Most people would have been offended by what the red-head spoke, but he knew that it was true.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be sitting here."

Green eyes widened in shock when it occurred to Kurama what he'd said to his obviously grieving friend. He glanced over at the others just to make sure they hadn't heard. None of them seemed to have noticed. He supposed they were too far away to hear and he was grateful for that. Yusuke, especially, would not have been pleased.

He wasn't sure how to respond to Hiei's statement. At least the demon seemed less angry now and that was definitely a step in the right direction. But it would be for nothing if steps weren't taken to make sure he progressed on his own. Hiei could not be trusted to recover on his own, plain and simple.

"Are you planning on returning to Makai now?" he questioned softly. Without Yukina here to look out for, would Hiei simply leave them? He knew the others were worrying about the same thing. It would be a very Hiei-like thing to do. In fact, he'd done it before. Only this time, it was much more dangerous for him to do so. "You could stay with one of us for a while."

The little demon's eyes narrowed slightly. Apparently, Kurama was feeling remorse for the comment said. Was he still trying to keep up his human façade for the others at the wake? Disgusting. Why was he so concerned with what the others thought of him? He was a demon, not one of them.

His hands clenched even tighter then before.

"And if that was what I was planning?" Hiei repeated, expression defensive and angry. He was not going to be tied down to Ningenkai any longer – especially if it was because Kurama forced him to. "I don't plan on remaining here, Kurama; there is nothing for me here."

"You know that's not true, Hiei," Kurama replied with a frown. "I don't think I need to remind you that you have friends here who would miss you, myself included. It's not my place to tell you what to do, however. I was merely offering you a place if you did choose to stay with us. It seems to me that if you feel so guilty over this, the least you could do is take your friends' feelings into account before you take off to the middle of nowhere again."

Admittedly, he was still a little bitter with Hiei for taking an opposing stance against them during the Makai Tournament. Kurama had worked carefully to stack the odds in Yusuke's favor while under Yomi's employment. It seemed to everyone that Hiei had been thinking only of his own interests when he accepted Mukuro's offer. Luckily for Hiei, Yusuke was a naïve, forgiving sort.

Hiei would never admit to anyone that he knew that he had friends – which he defined as, "people who cared if he lived, or died." But what was the point of living if there was no purpose? Could he really go back to that life of mindlessly killing, unable to occupy his time in any other way?

He could always go back and work for Mukuro, he supposed. But then he would be tied down again. He wouldn't be able to come and go as he pleased. It had been the best choice, at the time, but now he didn't need as much guidance as he did before. Now, he could go back to training on his own.

The little demon's expression darkened somewhat. His way of showing guilt, and just a bit of irritation. "If I need to take others' feelings into account, perhaps you should stop putting on that fake act, Kurama." He hissed, disappearing from his chair. A few leaves rustling were the only indication of the direction he had gone; no doubt gone to work off his frustration in Makai.

At that moment, Botan and Koenma suddenly popped into existence at the doorway. Botan already looked a complete wreck, with stray strands of hair loose from her ponytail and her face red from crying. Koenma appeared solemn – an unusual thing for him.

Botan took one look at the coffins and began softly crying anew, hiding her face in her hands. She quickly turned away from the sight, unable to bear it.

Koenma's expression was solemn; the only thing expressing his inner distress was the way he was chewing, furiously, on the pacifier in his mouth. He looked up as Hiei left, surprised, and rather annoyed. I wonder what's up with him.

Yusuke looked up at the sign of the familiar energy moving further and further away, and for a minute, he was worried. Then, he shook his head lightly. It was Hiei – he could take care of himself. After a couple of weeks, he would be back to his normal self. He glanced at the redhead, knowing that Kurama was probably taking it just as hard as Hiei was.

He stood up again, making his way over to Kurama and put a hand on his shoulder; grinning lightly, but it was more solemn then usual. "Hiei'll be okay. Just give him a while and he'll be fine."

In acknowledgment of his friend's attempt at comfort, Kurama looked up and smiled at their leader. Ever the hero, that was Yusuke. But he was wrong and that was always the problem with them all when it came to Hiei. When was Hiei ever truly okay? Kurama had always known that there was something that had scarred Hiei – or maybe a lot of somethings. Life in Makai was hard and if Hiei was Yukina's brother, that meant he'd been abandoned in it as a newborn and had somehow survived.

"I'm sure you're right, Yusuke," he replied instead of voicing his concern. "Hiei is a very strong person and he has a good heart. I only worry that he is grieving right now and will not be thinking clearly. But I doubt he'll go anywhere before the funeral, anyway."

If Hiei showed up for the funeral, Kurama would try harder to keep the little demon close, for Hiei's own safety. There was no chance of forcing Hiei to do anything he didn't want to but for Kurama, it had always been simple for him to manipulate Hiei into anything. Hopefully his comment about respecting friends' feelings had done just that and would keep Hiei around for a while, until his head had cleared.

He just hoped that was how things went because right now he didn't think any of them could face losing another person dear to them.

TBC