Hello again friends! This was originally meant to be a long oneshot, but I decided to post it as a two or three chapter story. It probably won't be any longer, and this chapter may be a little short. Now all I have to do is write the middle, since i've already written the end. OCD much? ;)

The characters are slightly OOC again, but for the sake of the story they have too be. Also, before you read:

1. Sakura is a member of Akatsuki, and was previously a missing-nin beforeshe joined willingly after being recruited.

2. Deidara and Sakura are married. Don't ask. Once again, for the sake of the story, it has to work out this way.

3. Sakura still retains a fierce desire to protect those important too her, even if it doesn't necessarily apply to the same people as before. Take note though, that she is not an emotional soft-hearted wimp, she gained the right to be in our favorite evil organization.

I realize that some of the aforementioned factors make this story somewhat crackish. Don't worry, it was meant to be that way. It is crack. Crack. It's not supposedto really be believableor plausible in the long run. It may seem a little plotless right now also, but more info shall appear in the later one of two chapters.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, my favorite characters wouldn't be dropping like flies. And Sasuke would have been pwned by Itachi and Deidara at the same time. And then maybe had his lights punched out by Sakura. Ha.

Heavy black cloaks moved like shadows in the condensed darkness of the long corridor. Had any of the bare bulbs protruding from the high ceiling actually been lit, the average observer would have seen the striking red of a cloud pattern that bled into the dark fabric, more or less marking these figures, and their dark auras, as sinister beings. Had a ninja been observing the quiet scene, the darkness alone would have proved explicitly foreboding, every well honed warrior sense would be present, as the absence of light could be both an enemy and a friend in combat. However, upon catching sight of the long robes, fear would have joined the fighting instincts of the ninja; a sensation well established as conventional, the lesson was one of the first pounded into the head of every young genin: black cloaks with a red cloud pattern brought with them death at its cruelest. The wielders of these coats held the top spot of every list among ninja as people you never wished to encounter. Every name was as good as a signature on a death warrant: closed.

The unrecognizable figures slowly moved from the encompassing shadows into cool air and morning light. The skies were clouded over with grey as agitated voices rose from two of the three cloaked individuals. Their voices betrayed strong hint of a prolonged argument, cutting into the peaceful calm of the morning, while their third, and exclusively feminine, companion remained thoroughly exasperated at them and seemingly the rest of the world for putting her in the middle of these two and their puerile spats.

The blonde's voice rose even higher in the air as he countered his male partner's verbal attack with a wordy assault of his own, complete with a fiercely defiant stare. Glowing red eyes affixed the defender with a practiced glare, refusing to let the young man work himself too far under his skin, therefore ruffling his normally calm collected demeanor.

The Sharingan user's unresponsive state caused the blue eyed man to stop dead in his tracks and open his mouth to launch another barricade of insults on the black haired accuser when a dainty hand clapped down on his shoulder and halted his oncoming tirade, "Deidara, calm yourself. It's not worth it. This petty argument cannot get in the way of our mission. We cannot work together properly if we cannot cooperate as a team." Her voice rang clearly, silky but void of any emotion whatsoever, a dangerous tone to all who knew it well.

The grim set mouth of the Uchiha clan murderer finally spoke, "Our mission is to break the fighting spirit of the nine-tail. He has proven a worthy opponent in the past, managing to evade our attacks as they come, whether by the power of the demon or sheer luck I do not know. I do however know that with Sakura on our side, she being the one to form a close relationship with the vessel at such a young age, we will be able to exploit his many weaknesses." His voice was a mask of muted velvet, betraying nothing but quiet confidence.

The pink haired kunoichi cut in here, bringing the attention back her way, "He is still naively unaware of where my allegiance now lies, he prefers to believe I was simply kidnapped, or as a last resort, that I am dead, despite the fact that I have long since been declared a missing nin. It will be devastating for him to witness the path I have chosen, and the more he must fight us, the more he must fight against a former teammate, will break him little by little. He will refuse to believe what he sees, because a betrayal by me is simply an impossibility." A mirthless laugh, "Sakura-chan would never join them. She would never turn her back on Konoha, on her best friend."

Itachi spoke once more, "The Kyuubi fights to protect the things he loves. His inability to accept Sakura's traitorous actions will be his downfall. His emotions will render him weak. He allows his desperate and groundless hopes to cloud his better judgment, and in doing so he will fall to us or submit to our will. Her betrayal combined with that of my foolish little brother's will lead him straight into our hands." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something dark flicker briefly through the eyes of his pink haired companion, then vanish as if he had only imagined it.

But Uchiha Itachi imagined nothing.

He knew that his mention of his foolish ototo had put Sakura in a foul mood, and in response worded his next sentence very carefully, "Imoto-san is the link we need to obtain the nine-tail. Her power is growing at a fast rate. She is a fundamental asset to our goal and our organization."

Deidara's fist clenched, "Don't tell me what I already know, bastard. I have never underestimated her talents, and I am fully aware of the purpose of our mission, yeah. Don't lecture me like an ignorant child."

Itachi shrugged, "I was merely making a point and stating a fact. Now that this mess is resolved, it would be in our best interest to begin our journey. There are only so many hours in which we can travel, and Leader-sama does notadhere tofailure very lightly. Daylight will dwindle quickly, let's go."

The uptight blonde's response was to give the stoic Uchiha a clear view of his middle finger before walking beside him, a scowl on his face and the rosette haired woman keeping a single pace behind them.

They spent most of the journey in silence, stopping occasionally to get their bearings and replenish supplies, speaking only when needed; Akatsuki were not known for engaging in pointless small talk. They were comfortable to jump from tree branch to tree branch, soaking up the tranquil atmosphere now free of any of the earlier tension, content with the task at hand.

Sakura watched Itachi's lithe form spring from each limb only to land easily on the next. He probably knew she was observing him, but she didn't much care. He didn't seem to either if the oblivious act was anything to go by. She found herself pondering (something she didn't often do, as she was content with the path set out before her) the dynamics of the sometimes distant but never awkward relationship they kept up. He bore her no ill will, and she was equally void of any animosity to the man she had once hated, but never known, because of the grief he had inflicted on Sasuke.

Her mood darkened at the intruding thought of Itachi's little brother whom she had once chased after like the infatuated twelve year old she had been. She had always insistently been trying to free the boy from his shell and to break him out of his depressed state. His seemingly impenetrable silence, she mused, had been disconcerting to her at the time, while as of now she found no reason to try to similarly break Itachi of his emotional void. Was it because she had changed so drastically, she wondered, or was it that Itachi's silence was easier to deal with? It fit him somehow, the attitude was more natural. Sasuke's bitter withdrawal from his surroundings hadn't suited him at all, because her teammates and friends were forever pushing for him to open up.

It occurred to her that even though Itachi's deeply rooted pride and the absolutely vexing little something he emanated that all Uchihas seemed to occupy within themselves would have her itching to wallop him with the nearest blunt object more often than not, she felt a connection between the two of them that had not been there with Sasuke. She was no fool, she knew Itachi was neither caring nor affectionate, but the sentiment had felt pretty damn close when, upon her arrival in the Akatsuki base after she had been recruited by Sasori and Deidara in the wake of an attack by other rouge nin, he had stepped in front of her and locked his gaze with hers.

She bit her lip as she recalled his words after a long moment of staring down at her and then lightly placing a hand on her shoulder: "You will be my Imoto-san, and I will be your Aniki." The blunt declaration had startled her so that she had taken a step back, eyes never leaving the black orbs of the deadly shinobi standing merely a foot from her, his empty of any emotion whatsoever. Itachi's face remained impassive, features betraying nothing in the shadows cast along his cheekbones as he waited for her to speak.

"Hai," her answer was brusque and fiercely acceding. She accepted him as her big brother and he took her in as his little sister. It was an understated bond between the pair for the most part, but they could be found sitting across from each other at the kitchen table on occasion, Sakura pouring her heart out in quiet whispers when she admitted to being worried about her blonde lover who had recently taken her into his heart and into his bed as his forever partner on the path of life and the lengthy mission he had undertaken five weeks before while her acclaimed older brother had simply listened in his own silent way.

Itachi was never open about their relationship with each other and she in turn never saw any reason to exploit what they shared. When Deidara had been brought in from the extensive mission, body so mangled and bloody he was barely recognizable, Sakura's face had remained void of expression and emotion, but it was clear in the way she walked from their room after healing her husband's broken body, each laborious step slower than the last, frame slumping lower and lower until she had to brace herself against the wall for support, that she was in agony. Itachi was waiting for her as she entered the sitting room; she had merely stared at his towering figure outlined by the fire with deadened eyes. Her fatigued body had stumbled over to his and she had pressed her forehead against the front of his cloak, the only noises emitted in the room coming from the crackling of the fireplace and her breaths coming in short unsteady rasps. He had not removed his eyes from the spot on the white wall when he spoke plainly,

"We are all weak."

She did not know what he meant for her reaction to that, but she responded in the only way she was able. Hot tears burned her vision and she fell like a lead weight onto Itachi, sending them both crashing to the carpeted floor. Her fingers fisted around the dark cloth of his robe and she rocked back and forth as she pounded the floor, blinded by the stinging liquids pooling beneath her lashes and making rivers on the skin of her fevered cheeks. Itachi held her against his hard abdomen in complete silence. His body remained unresponsive but warm when he bowed his head over her shaking frame and the screaming began.

He stayed with her through it all, and when she finally gave way and her body shut down, he was there to carry her to her bed and lay her down where she belonged, by Deidara's side, pink hair splayed across the sheets and small form pressed against the larger blonde man's healing one, the couple covered lightly in her Akatsuki cloak.

Sakura's reminiscing was cut short abruptly as the trio landed in a clearing. Her Uchiha brother turned to face his comrades with a solemn expression when he addressed them, "It's getting too dark to move any farther, we will rest here for the night and continue in the early morning." The man retreated to a corner of the dirt space to set up his tent, leaving Deidara and his pink haired kunoichi to start a fire and put up their own tent.

They went about their business, and soon found themselves hunched over on the ground, staring at each other through the flames of their nucleated heat source in comfortable silence once again, until it was broken by a weary but satisfied Sakura, "How much further do we have to go?"

For a moment her only answer was the wind in the trees and the snapping of the twigs in the fire before Itachi replied in an equally weary voice, "I'd estimate near a hundred or so miles until we reach the border of Fire, but we cannot come within a two mile radius of the leaf village. It would not be wise to turn such a simple mission into a suicide encounter."

Deidara continued to stare off into the flames as he addressed his wife, "Sakura, you trained with them for years, would you say that it's more likely that our paths will cross and we will be able to intercept them along the way; or do we have to resort to luring them out of Konoha's walls, yeah?"

The pink haired medic sighed in her body's exhaustion before she lifted her head to look at the artist sitting next to her, "I can't say for sure, but the Hokage often sends them out on simple missions to Sand at the beginning of every month. An abrupt meeting in the midst of such a minimal task will attribute to our goal of breaking my former teammate. The rod bears a more striking blow when the swing is sudden."

The complete drain of warmth and absence of any emotion that could occur within his wife's deceivingly innocent face often sent involuntary chills running down Deidara's spine. She was like a hormonal Itachi most of the time, and that, in the S-Class criminal's mind, was a thousand times more dangerous than the Sharingan user at his worst. It did nothing to detract his love for her in the least, however, and he loved her as much as he ever had as he sat by her slumped body, head bowed over as she cast her gaze on the dirt beneath her. He tossed the bitten core of his apple into their trash pile and stood up to press her head against his calf after stretching for a moment, caressing her locks of hair as she moved to kiss the mouth on his palm slowly.

When he slipped away from her and turned to duck into their tent, Deidara glanced at his woman's back glowing against the dancing flames, "Coming to bed soon?" he asked softy as she remained facing towards the burning logs.

"Yes, I'll be there in a second Dei, go ahead and climb in the tent." She looked up at the Sharingan master across from her as the mad bomber crawled under the flap of the cloth and he responded without looking back.

"I'll clean up here, there's not much to do. Go to sleep, you're tired."

She nodded and rose from her sitting position, "Good night Brother."

"Good night to you as well, little sister." Itachi didn't move from his space in the clearing.

He stayed like that for a long time after his "sibling" and her husband had gone to bed.

I hate the dialogue. I hate Itachi's dialogue. He talks too much. Grrr... smacks him.

Itachi: Be gone, foolish mortal. I despise you.

Me: Ahhh, that's better.

Review peoples! Feedback gives me inspiration. Flames will be used as weapons on Sasuke's pretty little Uchiha butt. (Don't you just hate Kishimoto for the latest manga chapter? I mean, we don't know for sure that Itachi's dead, even though he lost his cloak and everything...so, yeah).

Here's to hoping Itachi's still alive. :)

(And Deidara rests in peace. T.T)

Ja ne!