Soul of a Fierce
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. No one owns anything really...
AN: dedicated to my lovely sister who was my unbearable inspiration for this story. And I mean that out of love... or not.
Prologue: Into the Darkness
The first thing I felt as I opened my eyes was the moist, aching pain between my cocked legs. I reached for the covers and pulled them over my body, trying not to move. It still hurt when I moved, even hours later. I rolled over to the other side of the bed, and watched the sun, brimming over the mountaintops. It was a welcome sight, I would assume, for any normal person. But me being the person that I was, it was nothing more than a reminder. Our fantasy world was over and regular life was to continue on where it was left off earlier yesterday.
Brief images of our passionate art ran through my head as I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, contentedly. It was the same way I felt the first time we ventured into this world together. It still felt the same, the mysterious wonder, hidden to the world around us. And we hid it so well, going on with our lives as if nothing was there between us, and the world was none the wiser. It was a sick sort of pleasure, but it was pleasure nonetheless. I shifted some, still staring at the deep azure ceiling above me.
A small smile flickered across my flustered, pouting-red lips as I thought of his audacity the night before. He was usually the calm, patient lover with me. I was the eager one, at first, and full of stamina. He had his share of it too, and kept me wanting more, even though I said I would only do that once. But it was an addiction with him, I assume, something my body wouldn't quit, something I myself could not quit. It was steamy passion, bridled with the unkempt urge to have someone give their all. When we were together, anytime as more than we were supposed to be, we unleashed our frustrations out unto each other. He was never what I could have, so he was never enough. But the love he gave me, and showed me, was more than I could take.
With blissful thoughts roaming through my head, I was unaware of his shivering until he had pulled me back. To fit comfortably with him, I wrapped my legs around his lower legs, and let his head rest on my naked chest. This was his comfort zone, when he needed to feel protected. I had one similar and he held me there last night. It was a memory I wanted to forget but I knew that eventually, we had to discuss it and understand all that it meant. But for now, as he slept, I would allow him peace of body and myself peace of mind.
Twenty minutes like that and soon my bodily functions began to awaken themselves. The first of which was my bladder. Swiftly and cunningly, I removed myself from his warmed body and slid into the bathroom nearest me. I looked into the mirror after I washed my hands and into my flustered expression. Even now as he slept, he kept my body wanting more. I smiled again, a bittersweet smile that signaled a far more deceptive and much deeper meaning than its simplicity let on. An agitated groan from my room told me he was cold again and so I returned to our bed and pulled his now cold body close to me.
Our cold bodies molded just right together, in this darkness. It was like it was supposed to be like this always. I did not know exactly what it meant to "belong" in the common sense of the word. I never belonged but if it felt anything at all like this, then I wanted to "belong" to him, even though I could not. Aside from that empty feeling of being lost, all I knew was this sincere passion, our passion for secretive things, hidden from the eyes of society. And we understood each other, far better than most did, even our supposed "lovers" who were so close to us. It was not true what they said aloud before us, but what they hid and whispered behind our backs. But our history and blank expressions did not betray the passion we held not for our lovers, but for each other.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that he was right from the very beginning of this. But then again, I suppose he was always right, especially since he knew that this would come. I sighed sadly, looking down unto his sleeping features with an envious glimmer in my eyes. I wanted the peace he so easily attained, the understood air he had about him. It was not that he was arrogant, but so secure in his own abilities to know that he was an Elite and there were few who could even be considered a "rival" force. I wanted that strength from the very beginning, hence my near obsession with this man beside me. Our passionate affair started off as nothing more than a fond and childish infatuation with him. Although in truth, it was what he possessed that intrigued me much more.
I realized soon that he would be waking up. The sun was low in the sky and although the art of secrecy was the first thing a shinobi learned, it was always better to be safe than not. His warm body pressed closer against me and I realized what he was doing. A sadistic smile spread across my lips as I bit down onto his lower stomach, near his rising manhood and smiled as he winced. He was usually the sadistic one in the relationship but when he was asleep, I ruled him completely and without bounds. With a gentle shift I was lying beside him again, staring, unknowingly, into the darkness that was our love. I smelled of him, and with a quick whiff from his hair, I knew he smelled of me. I smiled to myself, touching my own hair again and watching the tendrils fall limp. It made me feel good to know that he was just like me when we were together. It was a feeling of completion. It was a warm feeling on the inside of my thigh that made me realize he was awake once more.
Or am I just hallucinating? I questioned myself, seeing his eyes still closed. Do I want to face what I cannot bear so early...or am I eager for more?
The lack of movement after his slight shift was a welcoming sight. I decided to put some water on to boil. Tea and ramen, my friends said, were the way to ease into the day. I slipped out of the bed with deadly stealth and crept quietly into the kitchen, searching for a teakettle and another pot. It would take about thirty minutes for them to heat because the fire was low. I smiled restlessly and returned to the room. My stomach growled lowly before I pulled down on it, trying to silence the sound. The man in my bed shifted slightly, barely making a sound but for a shinobi, any sound could easily be heard. I looked up quickly, peering into the darkness to see if he moved any.
He was asleep still, I thought stilly. It felt almost wrong that I was here awake but he was sleeping. Should I be as tired as he from the night before? Could I be wrong for being up while he rested? No. It was the aching pain in my heart that made me wake up and I realized that. I looked over at him, smiling slightly. He needed to rest, just as I did now that it was over for this night. Our time together was short enough as it was. But, although I was happy to be with him this night, I knew in the morning, when he woke up that we had to go back to being as we were, sensei and chunin. He was my sensei and that was all we could ever truly be to the world.
I walked over towards the bed and straightened it up slightly, as best I could and sighed. I sat on the edge of the bed, away from him where he was sprawled out on my soft, blue sheets and blanket. I looked over my shoulder only once to see his beautiful, sleeping expression. He was calmest when he slept, and also the most alert. He was never truly at peace in the mind, simply the body. And I was always antsy, energized and ready to move, as my mind slept when I was asleep. In the end, I suppose, it was the taboo-marked aspects of this life together that made it that much more appealing to us. And the fact that we were exact opposite for the most part, while still sharing enough to form something outside of just a sex-based relationship, only helped to encourage our passionate yet unfulfilled desires.
I laughed lightly to myself, turning over to face him once more. His hair was limp from the sweat and heat we spent. We had done this for a while, almost two whole years now. When we first started, I was only fifteen. Now I was so much older, and more mature. But I knew little to nothing outside of this bedroom. That wasn't to say that I was dumb or oblivious but when I was here with him, this was all I knew. And deep down, some tiny fraction of me that had withered away over the ages, was crying for me. What I was doing was wrong, being with someone who could never love me back...and I knew it was. But it started off as an addiction and became something more.
All in all, I felt good to be with him, even if I knew it was the end. Slowly and carefully, I pulled my legs up to my chest and looked into the darkness. It was quiet here, which made me want someone to live with. It was always so damn quiet in my house and it made me think a lot because of the silence. When he was here, it was never quiet until we were done and finished. But then again, he never spent the night either. Whenever we did this, we left immediately from my house and continued on with life. But today, he stayed here. I knew at that moment that everything was different and that it was going to change.
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Flashback
Mornings were always sleepy, disturbed into the false sense of peace. But in the end, we all knew it was surreal, an illusionary image, decorated and adorned truth. It was nothing more than a lie, to be completely blunt and I was at the middle of it. The number of lies that had expelled from my lips outreached any told by this village, or its people. Only one other might have been similar to me in lies, similar to me in number. It was for this reason that I kept on living, knowing I wasn't the only one like me. He was like me, and that was all I ever needed in the end, to not be alone.
The bed I slept in had the familiar scent of him, although I hadn't seen him in quite some time. A few days had passed since we had been together. From what I heard, he had taken his squad out somewhere, as an elite ninja, to some faraway village for a mission. It wasn't like me to miss him, or to be down without him but he had been gone for a week. Certainly something was wrong? Or was I just anticipating his return once more, remembering all the other times when we were together after he returned home? He was vigorous when he returned, and thus I was always the first to greet him, with openness. But no one interpreted our warmness towards each other as anything more than sensei-to-student friendliness.
"Are you day dreaming again?" someone asked, prodding my side with a stick. I shook my head to clear it of the smoke that was fogging it up with dreams of him once more. It wasn't like me to miss him but I was sure getting into the habit quickly and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. "Anko asked you a question and you're just sitting there staring. Pay attention!"
I looked up at the instructor from my place against the rock, irritated. I didn't like to be disturbed and I sure as hell didn't like to be poked by a stick from someone outside of Shino, Naruto or Kiba. To be honest, I didn't like to be poked, but with my friends it wasn't so bad. The instructor must have noticed my irritated look because he backed away, apprehensive.
"Anko, I don't know where the Hokage is," I responded smoothly, sitting up suddenly and brushing my pants off. In the back of my mind, I didn't care at all about the Hokage or Anko or anything else. I was more worried about the one person I didn't see: Him. Aggravation slowly set in like the effects of the numbing drugs used to dim the pain of reality, and I was slowly beginning to lose consciousness. "Now, unless there is anything else you need from me, I am taking my leave."
"And just where do you think you're going, maggot?" Anko hissed out, standing up, suddenly undignified. I scoffed at her failed attempt to be classified and mature; she wasn't that type of person and she wasn't even anywhere close to me. I felt her approaching me, felt as her anger flared; she didn't like me because of the relationship we shared, and that only made it feel that much better. I rounded on her as she yanked my arm and pulled away from her, catching my balance on the banister.
"As I said before, I'm taking my leave. Naruto should be back by now, Anko-Sensei," I mocked, standing up on the banister, arms crossed. She didn't like me and standing like this seemed to make her even angrier with me than she had been before. I smirked and began to fall backwards, into the darkness of the lower-levels of the village.
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Later that day, as I was sitting beside a mellow pond, something whizzed past me and plopped into the pond, disturbing its calm surface. I stood up in annoyance, rounding on the person who was the cause of it and was thrown off guard by the sudden passion against my lips as he scooped me up and pinned me to a nearby tree. I wrapped my arms around him slowly, my tongue dipping into his warm mouth as his hands plundered and pillaged, reclaiming my body.
"When did you get back?" I managed as he traced my stomach with his tongue. He looked up at me from my stomach and smiled, pulling me down beside him. I rested there beside him, my breathing slowing as I looked up into the forest's tress, the sunlight flickering in between the spaces of the leaves. "Anko was looking for you earlier…along with the Hokage."
"Still don't like her, eh?" he asked, looking at me from the side. I nodded, shrugging a bit; he rolled over and stared at me, resting his head against my shoulder. "Well…I took the squad out for a mission – seeing as it's been such a long time, according to them. Sorry I was away for so long."
"Oh – I didn't miss you, sensei. I barely knew you were gone…" I lied, turning my face away from him. Slowly, he made me turn to face him, made me look him in the eyes as if to say, "Really?" I shrugged, pulling away. "Alright, so I might have missed you for a moment…don't go too far into it, sensei. Besides, what would it look like if I was missing you. This is nothing more than sex, remember?"
"Is that all I am to you?"
I looked over at him as she sat up, turning away from me; the pain I felt in his voice was beyond me. He always had me under the assumption that this was strictly physical. We weren't dating and we weren't in love, last time I checked so I didn't see the problem. Before I could address him, however, his three students appeared suddenly from the trees, each landing around their sensei. I appeared on the other side of the pond, leaning against a tree.
"Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed, tackling the older man. Sakura and Sasuke stared at him for a moment before jumping in on their sensei as well, leaving me to stand. I turned my head to the side, looking far into the sky, feeling, for a moment, like Shikamaru.
"Cloud envy…"
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A knock came to the door, a knock that startled me from my sleepy daze; the moon was full to my left and the night sky was a hazy purple-blue. I looked up at the door through the hallway and got up, slowly dragging myself to the front. The latch rattled under the ferocity of the knocker and I sighed, unhooking the door with little effort, pulling the wooden door away from the frame, annoyed. While I expected to see either Kiba or Shino, I was surprised to see none other than my lover.
"Kakashi…" I breathed as he walked in, closing the door behind himself. He pressed me against the wall slowly, kissing my lips, my neck. His hands traced my sides, pulling at the seams gently as he lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side along with my headband and jacket.
The man sure knew how to caress a woman and soon, he lifted me, pinned me against the wall and spread my legs, his hand pressing hard against my aching center. He was teasing me, and I crumbled under the pressure like an old pillar. A moan escaped my lips and ran smack into his neck; my tongue licked salty skin and suckled honey sweet lips that had been gone for what felt like ages. He laced his fingers in mine, pulling me closer into him as our bodies felt like molding, becoming one.
"Kakashi!" I screamed as he bit down into my breast gently, nibbling softly at the nipple as he tore away my undershirt and let it fall. He suckled gently like a child to my breast, sending shivers all throughout my body, feeding the hunger that was slowly growing between my legs.
The man standing before me knelt down slowly, trailing kisses from my breasts to just above the buckle of my pants. I looked down at him, my face flustered and my eyes half-lidded; with a nod, I gave him permission. Slowly he unbuckled my belt, unzipping my pants on both sides, forcing them to my knees and then to my ankles. He reached his hand slowly between my lower thighs and worked his way up, gently caressing the skin beneath my silk panties, teasing my clit. Another shaky moan left from my lips, provoking him.
Kakashi lifted me into his arms, my pants falling to the floor as he walked me into my bedroom, the room we had shared so many times before. But something I knew was different; this was not the same Kakashi that had left me nearly two weeks ago. There was something fierce within his eyes, something that was determined. He laid me down slowly, crawling in between my legs until our shoulders were leveled and I pulled him down, kissing him roughly. The passion was almost too much for me to handle; it had never been like this before. Something had formed while he was away and I was beginning to understand something about him.
My hands traced his jacket, traced the buttons and removed the obstacle that was in my way until my lips touched pure, beating flesh. He threw his head back, a relieved sigh pouring from somewhere deep down within him. My legs wrapped around his back, pulling him down as my feet began tugging at his pants. He looked down at me with those eyes and kissed me slowly, tenderly. He pulled away and stared at me softly, his eyes so full of compassion.
"Kakashi I --," but he stopped me, pressing his lips to me once more. I gave into him, my body becoming his play thing once more as he unbuttoned his pants and slid them off, casting them to the floor.
His hands gently traced over my silken underwear, a smile coming to the corners of his lips as his finger pressed against the spot he knew to be my opening, eliciting another moan from me. Kakashi smiled, ripping them from between my legs and throwing the shreds to the floor beside my bed. I reached up and kissed him gently again as he spread my legs once more, guiding himself into me slowly.
As he penetrated, I could feel my heart throbbing against my chest as if something had been unleashed deep within my heart. I held him close to me as he pulled out and thrust deeply once more. I cried into his neck as he held me up, pulling me into his embrace. Another full thrust and soon he began rocking into me slowly, going as deeply as he could, eliciting so much from me while at the same time, I could hear him returning me moan for moan.
That night raged on for hours…
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"You're awake," I said, not even bothering to look down at him. Kakashi shifted some, sitting up to lean his head against my shoulder. He was still warm, even though we had both slept naked. He wrapped his arms around me and we both sat there like that, knowing that soon enough, we both had to face what was inevitable. "I was wondering when you were going to get up, you lazy bum…it's early for me, my usual time to be up…although for you, it's pretty late."
Kakashi sniffed the air gently, snuggling down into my neck. "What's cooking?"
"Ramen…and some tea," I added as he pulled me down, laying flat on top of me. Our bodies pressed together again, another sad reminder. "I figured you'd be hungry after last night… and besides, you just got in yesterday afternoon. You must be starved." I looked directly past him, not ready to meet his eyes, not ready to meet what was truth.
He nodded slowly, pulling me into his warm embrace. I rested there, quietly against him, wrapping my legs around his, intertwining our bodies together as our fingers laced. Kakashi gave a sigh, kissing the crook of my neck, running his fingers down to rest on my stomach; he kissed me. His tongue gently dipped into my mouth, our tongues tangling together, exploring eagerly. He reached his hand up to cup my chin, tilting it back. He kissed me harder, more passionately as he pinned me to the bed with his other hand.
"Hinata…"
There came a violent knock on the door.
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AN: That's the prologue…or something like that. Review for me please and thank you.
MotokoForever
