Shattered
Harry had stayed behind to pack his trunk. Ron, being worried, stayed behind with him. He went back to the dorm after asking Hermione to bring him back something to eat. He opened the door a fraction and peered in. Harry was sitting on the end of his bed looking down at a mirror. Ron was a little confused, wondering of the significance. Then he heard Harry mutter something and listened closely.
"Sirius" he said slowly. Ron froze.
"Sirius!" he said again almost desperately. Still nothing out of the ordinary happened.
"SIRIUS!!!" he said now hysterical.
Ron knew then that he should intervene, but he got one step in when Harry all of a sudden turned around and threw the mirror hard into the trunk shattering it into small pieces in the process. His shoulders slumped.
"Harry?" Harry spun around to see Ron standing there looking quite shocked.
"H-how long were you standing there?"
"Long enough to see you shatter that mirror mate. You know now you're gonna have 7 bad years of bad luck." he said almost jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. Harry's face fell even more. Now was obviously not the right time for jokes.
"What was it?" Ron asked curiously.
"Sirius gave it to me for christmas. It was a two way mirror that him and my dad used to use when they had separate detentions. They would just say the other's name into the mirror and they could talk."
Suddenly Ron understood. He was trying to talk to Sirius again. But it hadn't worked.
"He gave it to me when I found out about occulemency lessons. I didn't even open it until now. He said to use it if Snape gave me trouble, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction."
He stopped there. Unable to speak past the snitch sized lump in his throat. Ron seemed to understand because he said, "Harry mate, you know it wasn't your fault."
But Harry shook his head.
"Of course it was. If I had opened this I could have just asked him if he was ok. I should have learned occulemency. I should have listened to you and Hermione when you guys said it was a trap. I should have-..."
But Ron cut him off.
"We could stand here all day and say the stuff that we all should or shouldn't have done, but it still wasn't your fault Harry. The only people we can blame for this are kreacher, Bellatrix, and V-v-v-oldemort."
"Don't say that name." Harry said angrily, getting to his feet.
"But you always say...."
" I don't mean Voldemort! I mean Bellatrix! I hate her! S-Sirius was her cousin and she just k-killed him! I hate her! I want to kill her!"
"You don't mean that."
"Yeah I do! I tried you know!? I tried doing the Cruciatis on her! But it didn't work. I couldn't do it Ron but I wanted to so bad it hurt!"
Ron remained silently stunned. He sat there waiting for what was going to happen when Harry was done with his rant.
"She took the last parent I almost could have had away from me. I hate her......... I wish I was numb again. It was just so much easier not to be able to feel anything."
He sat back down on the bed defeated. Then the unwanted tears came. They came hot and fast and there was no stopping them. When the first sob escaped, Harry got up suddenly and turned to push off the trunk on his bed with his frustration . He walked over to where his trunk now lay on its side on the floor, and started pulling things out throwing them every which way. Normally Ron would have stopped him but he knew that Harry needed to let out his anger. So he just stood there waiting for the tirade to end. Just as suddenly as it stared, it stopped. Harry just collapsed within himself and sank to his knees on the floor. He grabbed his hair and let out a grief filled scream and started sobbing into his knees.
Ron ran over to his friend and quickly put his arms around Harry's shoulders. Harry leaned into the embrace. He buried his hands into Ron's robes and hid his face in his chest. He ran his hands through Harry's hair and clutched his back, rocking them back and forth fast.
He had seen Harry cry before. He had even held him a few of those times, but his cries had always been soft and quite. Never had he heard Harry cry so frantically before. It was like something was taking over his body. He was shaking convulsively and crying loudly into his chest. They stayed like that for an hour. Rocking back and forth until his cries came to soft sniffles and hiccups.
He stood Harry up and walked them over to the bed. He laid them down so that Harry's head was resting on Ron's chest and Harry almost immediately fell into sleep. As he lie there, he began thinking. He didn't know how he was going to help Harry this time. Because Harry, like the two way mirror was broken. Shattered.