Life… unexpected things happen and you can't control them.
Love… you can't control who you fall in love with.
When I first met her my world spun around. From the first instant that I laid eyes on her I knew I wanted her in ways I never wanted anyone else. She was the object of my affection and every time I saw her or talked to her I fell further and further into the pit of despair that my life was to become after she left.
Everything about her drew me in… her pixie like features, her golden eyes that glowed when she laughed, but the thing I loved the most was her smile. When she smiled everything within me melted and turned to mush. Never before had I felt anything like that.
After she left my world turned upside down. I didn't eat, sleep, or pay attention in classes. My reason for existing was gone. The little bit of sun that I had found in this life was harshly ripped from my life as if it had never been there before. Like a tidal wave that crashes through the shore and takes away everything that was there previously.
Life didn't seem worth living after everything was gone. Turning to drinking and self harm my life was gone. I was an empty shell of the person I used to be. Day by day I walked along corridors though there were people around I felt like I was alone. In classes I found myself starring off into space and not hearing anything that was being said.
I was like a zombie walking around the life was drained from my eyes and all that was left was a dull heart beat and a chest that rose and fell with each breath that I took.
I felt like the life I knew was gone and it would never come back, like it would never be as it was before. So that night as I sat in my room with the door chained and the lights off she was the only thing on my mind as I pulled the blade multiple times across the exposed flesh of my forearm. The veins below protesting as the blood below flooded out staining the once light carpet a dark crimson.
For the first time in months I felt at ease. Life was finally back to the good way it use to be. As I sat there taking my last breaths, I held onto her picture and as I took my last breath I smiled as the lover for her flooded my mind and I closed my eyes finally at peace for the first time in months.