Trial and Error
by Birgit Staebler
A shield.
It sounded like the simplest thing in the world, the
world of magic, but shields were infinitely more difficult than offensive
magic. Defense required more control of your own powers because you had
to block whatever came in. Offense was simply lashing out.
Ace Cooper sat on the floor of the living room, eyes
closed, attempting something totally new for him: creating an empathic
shield. In his past he had never really required one. Why anyway? He hadn't
been aware of empaths around him anywhere. Now he lived together with a
very receptive one, one who was only tuned in to him, and it had given
way to a whole set of new problems.
Cosmo had shields, yes, but he was also not prone to
using them most of the time. Since they were down, whenever Ace was hurt
or encountered an emotionally straining situation, Cosmo was bombarded
with the magician's emotions. The whole mess with the bomber and the Centennial
Hall had shown him how acutely the teenager was aware of him. Cosmo had
felt his pain and the magic flaring, sometimes as badly as if it had been
him buried underneath. Ace had decided he had to do something, and this
something was trying to erect his own shield.
"You don't have to do that!" Cosmo argued, looking
angry and betrayed in one. "I can work on my shields and then it'll be
less of a shock."
"I don't want you to feel any shocks at all, Cosmo,"
Ace told him calmly as he took off his cape, hanging it over the chair.
"I might be forced to cast all of a sudden, without warning, and it will
always shock you, wherever you are. You sensitivity to the Magic Force
and myself has grown in leaps."
"I know," Cosmo complained. "I know and it's okay!"
"It's not. It's painful for you and I'm inflicting
that pain."
The teenager shook his head again, more vigorously
this time. "I can work on my shields!" he repeated, almost pleading. "Please,
Ace.... don't cut me off." The last was uttered as almost a whisper.
Ace stopped and looked at his friend, taking in the
pained expression in his eyes, the desperation shining through. Something
inside of him twisted as he realized what Cosmo was thinking.
"I'm not going to cut you off," he said softly. "I
want to take precautions, be prepared..... Even with your shields up, I
can
still hurt you, and having my own version of
them would be helpful." He gently took one trembling
shoulder. "I won't cut you off," he repeated. "All this will aide with
is shielding me when I use magic or when my emotions are too much for you
to handle."
Cosmo turned away, evading the gray gaze. He hated
it. Pure and simple. Ace's presence was a constant for him, something warm
and welcome, something he relied on being there. Until the day this strange
connection had truly blossomed, Cosmo had never known what it would be
like to receive another's emotions. If someone had told him he would be
able to, he'd have laughed. He would have been scared. Now it had happened
and it was Ace he was linked to. He didn't want to lose this!
"Cosmo? Please?"
Ace's calm voice intruded into his dark thoughts.
He looked up, hoping to see the decision not to do it in his partner's
face.
No, it wasn't there.
"I won't separate us," Ace repeated once more. "This
is to help us avoid hurting each other."
Cosmo was silent for a while longer. "Okay," he finally
whispered.
The hand on his shoulder squeezed slightly.
Now Cosmo watched the whole procedure as Ace slipped into
a relaxed state of mind. First he had to find a way to erect a shield,
which was difficult on its own. Then he had to wrap it around his mind,
without blending all out. Difficult step number two.
Ace stretched his mind, using exercises he had been taught
by Anna to enhance his perception, opening up, seeking the connection where
Cosmo was linked to him. If he could locate that area, it would be easy
to apply a damper to it, then work on shielding. Later on, he knew, he
would have to be able to do this in a flash.
Wading through his own mind, he finally discovered something
that might be what he had been looking for. Ace frowned slightly as he
felt something with him. It wasn't really there, really present. It seemed
to fade in and out, pulsing, waiting. He approached the strange thing.
His mind's eye studied the presence, intrigued. Then he reached out and
touched it.
Oh my god....
It was the last coherent thought and then hot, violent
pain ripped through him. Ace screamed. His world turned into a mass of
agony, whiting out around the edges, pulling at him. He tried to fight
the alien presence, but it was stronger than him, and brutal. Tearing into
the defenseless magician, the thing drowned every rational thought, devouring
him, eradicating his very presence. Ace's cries of pain were muted by the
roaring of the viscous creature, and he grew weaker by the second.
Magic.
His only help.
It bubbled inside him, churning, seeking a way out to
attack, but for some odd reason, the logical part of him argued not to.
It lost.
The Magic Force tore free, into the enemy, and he heard
a yell. Ace, blinded by the pain, reacting purely on instinct, hid behind
the magic, shivering, each movement bringing a thousand different pains.
The magic raged around him, defending, protecting, and he was dimly aware
of the alien thing retreating. This was worse than the first time he had
tapped into the Magic Force, when he hadn't even known it was there inside
him. This was all happening in his mind, translating into the reality around
him, and he was no longer connected to this reality.
Then he was alone, the agony his only companion. It pulsed
through his system, eradicating all rational thought, and he lost himself
in the rising darkness.
Cosmo had watched Ace closely and he had kept an open
sense on what might come along their link. He didn't shield. He rarely
did when at home. Shielding was primarily for Ace's show, when the magician
might fall back on real magic, or when they were helping out Vega. Oh,
and in case Ace and Mona had an.... ah... intimate date. Cosmo grinned
briefly. That had really floored Ace. Cosmo was able to pick up on the
positive emotions as well. It had taken the teen a bit of time to really
assure Ace that he wouldn't spy, that he didn't really want to be in on
most of the stuff, and that he didn't mind if something like this hit.
They had solved the problem -- more or less.
Suddenly he frowned, aware of something strange happening.
Ace was there, a strong, warm presence, so very well known to him. His
life force flowed through Cosmo every hour of the day, telling him his
friend was alive and well. But now there was a different .... taste to
it. Something was changing. A light headache crept up behind his eyes and
Cosmo winced as a shard lanced through his forehead.
All of a sudden he gasped as the Magic Force flared.
It was a hot, bitter-sweet wave of pure power. Hard edges of it scraped
across his mental planes and he stumbled to his feet, almost falling on
his butt again. The magic raked through him, scalding and freezing in one,
and he cried out. Then he was flung back, connecting hard with the wall,
and slumped to the floor. Groaning, he sat upright, his back a mass of
complaining muscles.
Man.....
Cosmo was hit by a flood of emotions that weren't his
own, and not all of them made sense.
"Ace!" he gasped.
The magician lay on the floor, curled up, hands clutching
his head, eyes screwed shut. His outfit had changed from his usual wear
to the costume of the Magician. The cloak rippled around him as if it was
an entity with a life of its own, and Cosmo wasn't very far from denying
it. It was a representation of magic around Ace -- and Ace had just released
it. Cosmo felt the ripples, touching his senses, teasingly flitting over
his already battered mind.
"Ace!" he called again, stumbling closer.
Ace didn't move, but his body was wreaked by shivers
and sweat glistened on his face. The cloak snapped angrily in the magical
winds.
No, no, no! Cosmo fell to his knees at his friend's side,
trying to think straight. He had to do something.... anything..... The
events of the last minutes were a blur to him and all he could remember
was the slight pressure in his mind, then .... then his mind had struck
out at the intruder.
No.....
"Ace," he repeated, touching the trembling shoulder.
Ace moaned softly, trying to bury in the floor mats.
"I'm sorry....."
What could he do? He had to help him, but what could
he do? He was responsible for this, an almost automatic defense against
Ace.... who had failed in the shielding, but had invaded Cosmo's mind.
He had defended himself against his best friend, his
partner..... against Ace. Cosmo's stomach lurched at the thought. Did he
subconsciously think of Ace as an intruder? As an enemy? As someone he
didn't trust?
But I trust him! his mind screamed. I trust him with
my life!
And now he had tried to take out his mind.
"I knew it was a stupid idea," Cosmo whispered, desperately
trying to think of what to do. "We shouldn't have tried! Man, we were so
stupid! I was stupid to go along with it!"
Ace moved slightly, eyes fluttering, then squeezing shut
again.
"Ace?"
No response. He was out of it. Completely. And if he
didn't do something soon, Cosmo knew he'd succumb to the rising pressure
on his mind as well. He reached out for Ace to help.....
....and the Magic Force hit again.
Mercilessly.
Brutally.
In defense.
Cosmo screamed and rocked back, clutching his head. This
was worse than anything he had ever felt and he wasn't present enough to
attempt a shield.
His world whited out.
* * *
Ace woke to a killer migraine, the mother of all headaches,
and he screwed his eyes shut, hearing a groan. It was his groan, he thought,
but thinking was painful anyway. Each thought hurt, each little spark seemed
to turn into a scalding fire. He breathed, feeling a hammering pulse in
his temples, an agonizing fire breathing over his mind. He tried to recall
what had happened, but failed.
Something had happened.
Pain spiked through his mind, just behind his eyes, and
he gasped soundlessly.
Damn, he had never hurt like this before. Never!
Something cool touched his forehead and he whimpered
as the cold battled the fiery heat of the pain. Shivers raced through his
muscles and he weakly tried to turn away. No success. He didn't have any
control at all over his body. Someone tried to lift him up and the pain
doubled. He screamed, but no sound came out. Ace felt his body moving,
felt the strong arms around him, and suddenly blackness blanked out everything.
The next time he came to, he lay in a dark room. Cool
sheets touched his body. His sensitive eyes adjusted to the room and he
was aware of a figure next to him.
"Cosmo?" he rasped.
The figure swam in and out of focus, but there was no
missing the wild shock of red hair.
"Hey, Ace," the teenager said softly, voice wobbly.
Ace homed in on the sound, mind trying to work normally
but failing, and his worry leaped to the forefront. Cosmo sounded... dejected,
afraid.... terrified. Not unlike many years ago when he had first come
to live at the Express.
"Cosmo, what...?"
He stopped. He didn't need to ask what had happened.
He knew. Ace knew he had failed with shielding, and whatever he had touched,
it had retaliated.
Viscously.
He had touched something familiar and alien in one.
Ace tried to focus more. What had happened? What had
really happened?
"You should rest," Cosmo now said. "You need to sleep."
Ace's body agreed, though his worry didn't. It was a
brief battle, one that his body won, and Ace slipped into the silky darkness
again.
* * *
Cosmo scrubbed his face, feeling tired beyond belief.
His head hurt, his whole body ached, and his eyes were burning with exhaustion.
He couldn't sleep and the itchy feeling of magic tingled over his skin,
making it impossible for him to rest. Ace was still sleeping, though not
very peacefully. Now and then he would move and every time when he grew
agitated, magic sparked across the room. Cosmo winced as it happened once
more, suppressing a groan. His own senses were way too open for it at the
moment and he didn't want to shield. He couldn't shield. Not now. He needed
to keep track of Ace, of what he felt, and his own guilt kept him from
erecting barriers.
They shouldn't have tried! It had been a bad idea to
start with and now.... Now Ace was suffering the aftereffects, just like
Cosmo. Only that Cosmo was awake and in a much better state of mind.
He sighed and gazed at his partner. Getting Ace to the
bedroom had been almost too much. He didn't know how he had accomplished
the last few feet, but he had managed...... somehow. Cosmo sipped at the
cold coffee in his mug, grimacing, but the caffeine helped to boost him
a bit more to wakefulness. He knew he'd suffer the consequences of too
much of this drug had on him later, but right now he didn't care.
Ace's fingers twitched again and the tell-tale glow and
hum only Cosmo could hear in his mind started. Magic. He grit his teeth,
closing his eyes, and rode the new wave of energy slamming into his mind
and briefly eradicating all thought. When he opened his eyes again, he
had slumped forward, almost curled against the foot of the bed, breathing
hard. Man, that had been one of the stronger ones, but Ace appeared more
quiet after that than the last time. Cosmo clawed his way up and briefly
rested his forehead against the cool sheets.
"Never again," he vowed breathlessly.
He wouldn't let Ace try again. Once was enough. And it
proved that it didn't work. Ace was no empath and he didn't have the talent
to shield. Maybe it would only require some extra work, but he didn't care.
Cosmo was the empath and he would shield if necessary, but not Ace.
Settling himself against the bed, the teenager tried
a relaxation exercise to calm his mind, to prepare himself for further
waves from his friend. Exhaustion lurched through him and he shivered.
Sleep.
It sounded so promising, but he just couldn't get any.
Shields.
No way. He wouldn't. He had to watch Ace, make sure he
wasn't turning any worse.
An hour later he was asleep, the body finally winning over the mind.
* * *
Ace stood under the shower, the water pounding onto his
shoulders, massaging cramped muscles. Steam rose around him, obscuring
his sight, and he rested his aching head against the cool tiles. Shivering,
he turned the faucet to a higher setting, needle stings attacking his skin.
As much as it stung, it also helped. He felt his neck muscles relax slightly,
but it would need a lot more time to uncramp completely. His leg complained
as well. The wound, inflicted when he had been buried under the Centennial
Hall, had healed and he had back full use of his leg, but he still needed
to exercise his muscles. The physiotherapist had told him that if he kept
up the exercises as he did, he would be back in shape in a month now.
Normally Ace didn't even feel the former injury any more,
but what had hit his system, it had been thorough. He had woken on his
own half an hour ago, disoriented, exhausted, but alive. Alive. He hadn't
felt alive after what his mind presented as the last memories, but he was.
Ace detached himself from the wall and, after another
sigh, turned off the water. He grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower,
rubbing himself dry.
It had been a bad idea. Now he agreed with Cosmo. Looking
into the mirror he saw the result of his innocent attempt to create a shield
so he could block out Cosmo if need arose. His eyes seemed to lie deeper
now, rings underlining them in a pale, drawn face. Lines of pain were still
visible and he appeared ready to keel over.
And he felt like it too.
Ace ran a hand through his wet hair. Nope, he wouldn't
try this again. He slipped into his bathrobe and tied it, then left the
bathroom. As he stepped into his room, he smiled slightly. Cosmo was still
sleeping, now curled up on his bed. When Ace had woken, he had found his
friend curled up next to the bed, visibly exhausted and dead to the world.
He had lifted him up into the bed without Cosmo waking, then had decided
to revive himself with a shower. It had had mediocre success, but he felt
better than before.
He was nearly dressed when Cosmo woke. Ace buttoned his
shirt and turned to the teenager, who blinked into the lights.
"Good morning."
Well, it wasn't really morning. Rather somewhere around
noon, but who cared?
Cosmo sat up and looked around, then blushed, slightly
embarrassed. Ace had to grin.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"I should ask you that, man. You look like hell." Cosmo's
voice was soft and laced with worry as he swung his legs out of the bed.
"I feel like it as well," Ace confessed.
"Sorry about that," Cosmo muttered. "The attack..."
"You didn't attack me. Your mind defended itself against
an intruder, which was me, and I didn't know how to get out fast enough."
Ace sighed. "It didn't go as planned. It really didn't."
"Shouldn't have happened."
He could only agree. It shouldn't have happened. But
it had. Cosmo's mind had violently shoved him out after nearly taking him
apart, which also showed Ace that his apprentice had subconscious defenses.
Anyone trying to get into his mind would receive a real blow. At least
amateurs. He didn't know about professionals and Ace didn't really want
to get into it more deeply now.
"I hope you don't want to try it again," the teen now
said, gray eyes pleading with Ace not to.
"No, I think I learned my lesson," the magician chuckled,
then winced as the pounding in his head grew louder. He'd need a painkiller.
Not that they helped all that much with headaches induced by magic, but
they at least made it all more bearable.
Cosmo's worried and wary expression told him that his
apprentice wasn't really convinced.
"I promise not to try it again," Ace now said sincerely,
holding the gaze. "We have to do something so you won't get a full blast
into your face when I cast all of a sudden, but I won't attempt another
shield."
"Okay," was the not to enthusiastic answer.
Ace smiled. "I know you hate it, Cosmo, but it will help."
If you say so, Cosmo's expression told him.
"But not right now. Now I want to put my feet up and
ignore the world for a while," Ace went on cheerfully. "As far as I recall,
we have nothing on the agenda for at least the next three days."
Cosmo nodded, rising. He still had a dejected air around
him. Ace mentally shook his head. How could he explain to Cosmo that he
didn't want them to separate, that the link was okay, that he was only
worried about the effect of the backlashes?
Only time and more reassurances would do that.
"C'mon," he said gently. "Let's get something to eat.
And you might want to take a shower as well."
Cosmo just nodded and followed him.
Breakfast preparations were slow and made almost silently.
Ace felt none too steady on his feet after the monumental task of starting
the coffee machine. Cosmo just gently pushed him over to the chairs and
he gratefully sat down. He rested his head in his hands, fingers massaging
his temples, and the headache threatened to return.
"Ace?" Cosmo's pale voice startled him.
He looked up, noting worry most prominent in the young
face. "Just a bit tired," he confessed.
Cosmo handed him the mug full of coffee. "Still hungry?"
"Not ravenously, but I think I should eat something."
Ace closed his eyes again, massaging his temples once more. He hoped the
usual migraine that came from overcasting didn't hit him. That would mean
he'd be totally useless for the next two days in a row. It had happened
before and he knew it would happen again.
A glass was placed in front of him. He looked at it,
watching the white tablets inside bubble and sizzle, dissolving.
"Pain-killer," Cosmo said simply.
"Thanks." He drank the slightly strange tasting water
and closed his eyes again.
"Ace?"
The soft voice drew him out of his mind-in-neutral-gear
mode after a while and he dragged his eyelids open.
"I... I want to apologize," the teenager said.
He blinked. Apologize? Okay, he was a bit dense at the
moment, but what for?
"For not believing you. About the promise. That you won't
try again...."
"It's okay," Ace said, smiling. "I know."
Cosmo fidgeted. "It's just... you have to understand
what this means to me...."
"I'm trying. I will never be able to understand it like
you do, but I'm trying." Ace sighed. "I don't want to make this uncomfortable
for you by shielding my mind, but I'm worried, Cosmo. Worried what happens
when I am hit by something that also transfers to you."
"I'll train," Cosmo told him. "There are tell-tale signs
to some stuff. I can train the rest as well, work on strong shields, ones
I can whip up immediately."
Ace smiled again. "Well, I won't try this stunt again,
that's for sure." At least any time soon, he added to himself.
Cosmo nodded, appearing relieved, but there was still
a sliver of doubt.
Something started to smell funny and Ace wrinkled his
nose. Cosmo suddenly yelped.
"Oh, damn!" he cursed and shoved the pan off the stove,
the bacon looking a bit too crisp.
Ace chuckled and Cosmo shot him an angry look. He poked
at the bacon and it broke with a dry sound.
"So much for bacon and eggs," the teen sighed.
"I'll go for toast and eggs as well."
Cosmo shot a look at the partially burned toast. "Yeah,
well...... I think a muesli might be the better choice for breakfast....."
Ace chuckled. Another dark look told him that Cosmo was
not amused. Usually Ace was the one with the more than inadequate culinary
skills, though breakfast was something even Ace managed not to turn into
a weird concotion. Not that it wasn't edible stuff.... it just looked....
less than presentable.
"Fine with me," he said, eyes sparkling.
Cosmo threw away the burned food and they both settled
down for the alternative.
The rest of the day turned into a mixture of trying to
do some work and napping off on the couch for Ace. He didn't mind. It was
what his body needed. And with Cosmo taking care of whatever arose, he
knew he could take the leisure of following his body's demands.
At least until he was back to normal.
In a day or two.