a/n: Sooooooooo...sorry guys for being away FOREVER! I've finally finished high school, gotten a job, moved out of home. Things have been so crazy lately but im starting to settle back down so hopefully i'll get back to my stories. This is my first supernatural fanfiction so please be nice!
CHAPTER ONE - Cas
The parking lot was already half empty by the time I had reached school and I didn't doubt for a moment that I wasn't going to be lucky enough to get to class on time. If I had it surely would have been a miracle. The first time in my whole high school life.
Grabbing my satchel from the backseat, I took off towards the school quickly, dropping my head as I passed the dumpsters.
"Hey Novak!" A voice called out and I tensed as I recognised the voice. "Homo! I'm talking to you!"
Turning slowly, I tried not to sigh as I saw the sea of navy and yellow letterman jackets. I watched them approach, wide smirks on most of their faces. They looked like sharks; dumb, grinning sharks. The voice had come from Lucifer Dell, Handover High's best ice hockey defence. Slowly his smirk grew as his black eyes glued to me.
Lucifer – or Luc as everyone only knew him as - was one of Handover's biggest ladies men - coming a very close second to his best friend – and a reputation that confirmed just as much. For lack of a better word, Luc was the biggest man-whore of the place.
No one would tell you that Luc was my half brother.
The jock looked at me, running a quick hand through his spike blonde hair as he took a step closer.
I admit that at the start of high school it was a common thought that I would join the hockey team and the jocks as part of the 'most wanted men of Handover' to the rest of the school's girl population.
To be honest Luc and I were pretty okay with each other back before high school – we weren't really friends but we hung out from time to time. Our mothers' request - and he wasn't anything less than happy when he thought that I would join him at the top of the food chain of Handover.
Thoughts – and Luc – quickly changed and vanished when I turned down the head cheerleader, Lisa Braden. I should have known Luc would disown me as soon as I came out. When the jocks found out Luc had shrugged before he pushed me roughly against one of the lockers and looked at his team mates as if they should be disgusted too by the fact his mother had given birth to a fag. Covering his own ass as always.
The rest was history from there. As far as everyone at Handover was concerned now, Luc and i had no history that involved anything but hate and if they knew...well they just didn't care. Luc obviously didn't. I dropped my head, keeping my blue eyes glued to the floor.
"Come on, Novak. Were you trying to skip saying good morning to us?" Luc teased, walking up to me slowly. "I thought we were good buds."
"I just wanted to get to class, Dell" I snapped. My grip on my satchel tightened. Luc smirked wider then, his friends laughing quietly behind him. I didn't dare roll my eyes.
I was hardly one of the popular guys at Handover anymore. The only out kid at the school not to mention pretty much an art nerd? Category A for the daily jock tortures, the 'good morning' dumpster dives being one of them.
"Get it over and done with, Dell." I hissed, throwing out my arms. "I'm late already."
Luc grinned, bumping shoulders with the brunet boy beside him – Michael, I would find out later. I tried to remove my satchel and coat as they came closer but Luc had my arms already, Michael taking up my legs not too much later.
"This stuff is worth more than your pathetic excuse for a life, Dell." I growled but he ignored it, laughing as he and Michael began to swing me towards the dumpsters.
"Come on, Luc. Stop before he has a bitch fit." A voice laughed. I relaxed in Luc's arms. Dean Winchester emerged from behind his team, smiling widely. Luc let go of me, smirking widely as his best friend came closer.
Dean had a look that I had been told by most of the school's girl population practically screamed 'bad boy jock' without even needing his letterman jacket. Not that I would admit – out loud anyway - Dean was by far one of the most attractive – but straightest – guys at Handover. Wide shoulders, strong arms and enough muscle to make a girl – or gay boy – swoon without wondering what steroids he was on – quite unlike Luc I might add, his room has already been searched many times I had been told. Combine that was strong facial features, short light brown hair and emerald green eyes and you had Dean Winchester. Hockey centre and captain, man-whore of Handover, biggest ladies-man, all around jerk and best friends with the asshole of my life, Luc. What a combination.
Give me credit; I was not dumb enough or suicidal enough to like Dean anymore than a hot body that I could appreciate from afar. Or that's what I kept telling myself. Okay, so I admit I had a slight crush on the jerk. So sue me.
Having Dean around was a slight mercy in some ways. As captain of the team Dean had control over everything that happened at Handover, he, Luc and Lisa Braden being at the very top of the social food chain. That included what happened to me and my friends. I narrowed down his little involvement in most things to him trying to keep a clean slate for his hockey scholarship he was bound to get at the end of high school. No one questioned it out loud, there was need to, it wouldn't change anything. All I knew was that Dean was still enough of a factor for the jocks to see him as 'one of them' and that was all that mattered.
"Novak" Dean nodded briefly to me, holding out an impatient hand as I stripped of my coat and satchel. I managed to mumble out a quiet 'thanks' as I watched him place my things along with his own jacket at his feet.
"Happy Winchester?" Luc chuckled to Dean, glancing at me from the corner of his eye. Dean shrugged slightly.
"Were you really going to do it without me?" he asked with a smirk and I breathed deeply, trying to keep my face neutral as I felt Dean stand behind me. His arms wrapped around my torso under my arms and I tried to ignore the heat in my face as I tried to concentrate on Luc as he picked up my legs. Now what most people never seemed to notice was the slight way Dean would lower his face, far enough to whisper in my ear some degrading comment or insult. I would shiver slightly from rage – not that way his breath and lips ghosted over my ear, honest – and bite my tongue to stop some scathing remark leaving my lips. Today was different.
"You have it coming, you know? Wearing those tight faggy jeans of yours all the time. Makes you stand out Novak." he whispered and I huffed slightly. Who the hell was he to judge me?
I angled my head up quickly, lips and teeth brushing against his earlobe "well, well, Winchester. Never knew you paid attention to my jean size."
I felt Dean shiver slightly, his eyes a little darker than normal and I fought a smirk, clearing losing. I didn't notice the way his arms tightened slightly.
"Yeah, well its hard not to" he whispered again, pulling his face back. I stiffened, wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean as Luc and Dean's grip vanished, replaced with the so familiar feeling of the inside of the dumpsters. Charming as always. I ignored it this time, enjoying the small victory I had gotten against Dean as I waited the normal 20 seconds before pulling myself from the bin. My eyes narrowed on the jocks as they disappeared inside, my waiting giving me time to actually get out without them closing and locking the lid like they had done before. I already knew I was late. My eyes moved to the lone jock leaning against the rim of the dumpster, my bag slung over his shoulder and my jacket in his hand as he offered a spare hand down to me. I pushed Dean's hand away, taking my things wordlessly but my gaze was nothing but sceptical.
"Just giving your things back like always. No need to have a bitch fit Novak." Dean sighed, running a hand over his face.
"I just got thrown into a dumpster, I think I'm allowed to be just a little moody, Winchester."
"It could always be worse than this." He added quickly. "As much as it doesn't seem like it, I actually help. Without me, you'd be dead."
"I don't need your 'help' Winchester. If you think that you've taken far too many hits to the head" I hissed, glaring at him. "All you help has gotten me so far is tripped, beaten up, thrown into dumpsters and picked on. So thanks but I can take care of myself."
In truth, I knew I could have always been worse than this and in some ways, Dean was a very slight help. Dumpster dives and locker slams were never as bad as they could have been when it was him, Dean at least giving me small mercies of a nod from down the hall so I could brace myself for a locker slam or letting me strip my expensive things as well as the hand out – which I always ignored but it was the thought – when it came to the dumpster dives.
Dean's expression changed, a sardonic smirk plastered on his face as he leant closer towards me. I felt the side of the bin against my back, Dean's frame way too close to my front for my liking and I fully expected him to take a swing at me. I flinched as his hand came up beside my head, his smirk tugging a little as his pulled his hand away, fry caught between his finger tips. I lowered my face with my eyes on my feet, hoping my face wasn't as red as it felt.
"Scraps belong in the dumpsters, Novak. Not you should know that by now." He said harshly, flicking it over my shoulder back into the dumpster. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding as Dean spun around quickly, disappearing after his friends. My breaths were shaky as I watched him go before I began to make my way towards the bathrooms. Even now it I had to say it was a well rehearsed act; one I had been doing for practically years. Lock myself up, get out of my dumpster diving ensemble, clean myself up, put on one of the many spare items hidden away in my locker and walk out looking amazing and unscathed until the next time I ran into the jocks.
I sighed slightly, shaking my head as I shoved my disgusting and stained clothes into the plastic bag, hiding it in my locker until I could take it home and pray that it would survive. I wouldn't lose another good shirt cause of those Neanderthals. I changed into my white button-up, rolling the sleeves up to my elbows before pulling on a new pair of black skinny jeans and thin loosely done-up tie.
As it was, I had ended up being almost 10 minutes late to class, mumbling a small apology to Mr. Zachariah about my 'accidental sleep in' and 'broken alarm'. I could hear the jocks snigger from the spot at the windows and Zachariah sent them a small frown. I had no doubt in my mind Zachariah knew I was lying – I had been using the same excuse for years – but as always, he said nothing as he gestured me towards my seat. I dropped my head as I made my way up the back, trying to ignore the slurs the team was whispering among themselves. Without looking I could feel their eyes on me and I dropped my head lower, cursing them under my breath.
As I walked, my eyes flickered to Dean and I shifted as I saw him talking comfortably with Luc in front of him. There was a slight smile on his face but his focus was clearly only half on Luc. I watched as his grin faded, his face going blank as he looked at me from the corner of his eye. I turned my gaze to my seat up the back quickly.
"Stop it." Dean hissed suddenly, kicking Luc's chair. I didn't know if Luc or I was more shocked by his outburst but Luc rolled his eyes, pulling his leg in from just in front of me. My eyes widened, wondering if Dean had really spared me another embarrassment in front of the class when I heard Zachariah clear his throat behind me.
Apparently not... I thought quickly.
"Castiel, quickly now." Zachariah sighed and turned back towards the board but not before casting a stern look at Luc. I ducked my head again, this time to hide the red spreading across my neck and cheeks.
"I thought I smelt a dumpster diver." My best friend smiled, kissing my cheek as I slid into my seat at the very back beside her. "These fell out of your bag, Angel boy."
I rolled my eyes at the but smiled regardless.
"Thanks Bela." I whispered, pulling on the red fingerless gloves she had pressed into my hands.
Bela Talbot had been one of my closest friends practically since the start of high school. She was gorgeous – as far as girls went – with curves that turned the other cheerleaders green and a smile that lit up every room. Despite everything, Bela had stuck by my side – unlike someone else I wouldn't mention. 'Ditching-the-queer' had never crossed her mind, even with the rest of the cheerleading team requesting she gets friends of a 'higher social status' to save their perfect image. In some ways I was lucky that Bela was just as stubborn as Luc.
Bela brushed her long, straight light brown hair from her shoulders, hazel eyes glaring at me from beneath her fringe. I shifted in my seat. Bela had always been too perceptive for my liking.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?" I yelped as quietly as I could, ducking before she could slap the back of my head again.
"Don't think I missed you and Winchester's little stare off" she whispered closely, eyes flickering to the boy in question before back to me. "And the scene after the dumpster dive this morning. I don't even want to know why he was standing that close to you. What did you say to make him look like he wanted to eat you?"
"Bela," I began, my eyes following to where hers was previously. Dean was slouched in his chair, pen tapping on this textbook – no doubt in time with the beat coming from the headphone in his ear. "I didn't do anything this morning. Winchester just being a jerk like he always is."
I saw Bela raise a brow from the corner of my eye.
"Listen, I know what he's like now." I sighed deeply, eyes still glued to him as I whispered even quieter. "I know I can't trust him. He's not the same guy, I know. Dean's dead and all we got now is Winchester."
"But you're still looking?" she scoffed
I shrugged. "No harm right?"
"Unless any of the team catches you." She agreed sarcastically. "Then they have more of a reason for wanting to kill you. I'm still surprised Dean hasn't the amount of times you two are caught staring at each other."
"Because that would mean he'd have to acknowledge that he was looking back at me too." I sighed. "And again. Thanks Bela"
I unclenched one of the fists I didn't know I had made, sliding it over the desk to hold hers.
"You know I'm just looking out for you. Right, Angel boy?"
"I know" I nodded slightly, still watching the jock from the corner of my eye. Dean moved in his chair, his head turning just enough to see Bela and I. His eyes narrowed slightly, flickering to our clasped hands before back to my face. I fought to keep myself neutral, showing no emotion on my face just as he did. It faltered on both our parts but his expression I couldn't tell. "Sometimes I think you're the only one anymore Bela"
If I had looked away I would have seen her eyes go from me to Dean, a brow raised as she bit her tongue.
"Don't you forget it" she let out, squeezing my hand back tightly as she watched Dean even more hidden than I was. If it were possible. Dean nodded barely as he looked away and I mimicked it, wondering if I had imagined the tiniest smile on his face as he turned. The grip on my hand tightened.
"Don't let him mess with your mind" Bela whispered comfortingly, her thumb stroking my hand comfortingly. I held onto her hand tighter, feeling myself losing control again. "Angel boy, relax...Anna and I are always here."
Oh god, Anna...
Class didn't seem to last too long after that, neither Bela nor I in the mood for calculus as we half ran from the room at the bell, making our way to the lockers quickly. I tried to ignore the metallic whine of the next locker beside me being opened, the familiar voices of the couple talking loudly beside me, the girl whining about something inconsequential.
I could see Bela make a face beside me towards the girl and I stifled a laugh. I let my eyes flicker to the couple, closing my locker door with more force than necessary. Sure enough, standing right beside me was Lisa Novak, the head cheerleader having a tight, possessive grip on Dean Winchester's arm. Dean's eyes moved to me briefly; his face blank but it caught Lisa's attention. The jocks were like accessories at Handover and Dean Winchester was one of a kind, Luc becoming the next best thing. Girls kept a tight grip on the boys they could have to elevate their popularity. Lisa was no exception.
"What are you looking at?" She hissed, turning sharply to me.
"Ignore him Lisa. Its just the Carter fag." Dean mumbled, sliding an arm around Lisa's waist to move further down the hall where Dean's locker was.
I let out a shaky sight, leaning back against my locker, shaking my head in disbelief.
Stupid Dean Winchester.
"You okay, angel boy?" Bela forced a smile, leaning her head on the locker beside me.
"Just gets to me sometimes, Bel. It's nothing." I retorted softly and I hated her for what she said next.
"Dean or Winchester..." she said quietly, nodding down the hall to where Dean was before forcing another sympathetic smile. "...or is it Anna? I saw you walking to go see her on Saturday."
"So how was your weekend" I changed the topic quickly, plastering on a smile.
I could see my friend roll her eyes at my subtlety but said nothing about it as she let out a little groan. "Do not get me started. I mean it, Angel boy. You, Me, Gerard-Butler-athon, Tomorrow Night."
"Gerard-Butler-athon? What the hell does that even mean?" I teased with a smirk. "And by the fact it is him, I'm guessing unrequited love life problems?"
Bela mumbled under her breath. "How do you always seem to know?"
"Because I'm psychic" I sighed dramatically. "It's a secret talent. Besides, I also know you and Gerard Butler."
Bela rolled her eyes, smacking me in the arm lightly.
I pulled the cheerleader under my arm with a smile. "Look, rocky road, pizza, Gerard and gossip. Tomorrow night, just you and me. I'll come at 7?"
"This is why you are way too amazing for any guy in this world" she smiled, wrapping an arm around my waist. The grin on my face fell as did Bela's, the two of us spinning around as we heard the high pitched squeal erupt from down the hall. Raising myself to my toes, my eyes narrowed on the small figure in the middle of the now forming crowd.
Kaz.
Dean Winchester's little sister.
Just behind her I could see Luc and Michael laughing, bumping fists as they flicked their now empty cups at them teasingly. Her face crumpled as she wiped at the coke sticking to her clothes and face. Bela growled behind me as she tugged on my hand. I rolled my eyes as I ran down the hall, the two of us pushing and shouting our way through the crowd. I couldn't resist the glare I sent to a frozen Dean.
"Great job protecting your family, Winchester." I snapped, not stopping as I passed. I wasn't going to hang around for him to react.
Ash – one of the rare guy friends I had – was next to Kaz as I reached their side, Bela smiling softly as she pulled up with Jo following quickly by her side.
"Come on Kaz." She sighed, tugging her into the girl's bathroom behind us. "Cas and I are pro's at this."
I wanted to sigh as I followed but someone caught my wrist and I smirked, raising a brow when I saw it was Ash looking quiet nervous.
"Umm, listen I can't go in there...not like you can...not because your gay or anything...I mean it is but..." he gestured vaguely to the girl's bathroom. "...can you...can you just make sure she's is okay?"
I laughed quietly, patting his shoulder. "Alright, I will but I want you to go find Winchester. I saw him not too far up the hall frozen beside Lisa. Find him, tell him to go to the auditorium after lunch. I want to have a few words with him."
"Brave." Ash nodded, shoving his hands back into his pockets as he dropped his face. "You sure you don't want me to get Sam Winchester or something?"
"As much as i want to say yes...no, get Dean. He can actually change what happens to his sister because of those jerks" i sighed.
"Just be careful Cas." Ash warned. "Dean will be after blood for this…god knows he won't care if it's yours."
Unfamiliar with this side of Ash I managed out a quiet, "Thanks…"
He gave a non commercial shrug.
"Oh and Ash?" I called, the boy looking back up at me with a mild curiosity. "If you don't do something or ask Kaz out soon, I might kill you, let alone Bela and Jo. They're ten times more scary than Dean Winchester." I smirked "Don't worry. She likes you too."
The smile on his face could not be beaten as he turned back around, walking back down the hall with a slight bounce in his step.
.
"I hate them" Kaz murmured, her dark brown curls covering the tears that began to well up in her eyes. I could see Bela grimace as she pulled Kaz down off the bathroom bench into a hug and Jo leaned into my side, eyes still glued to the two.
"We know" Bela agreed and pushed a damp piece of hair behind the girl's ear. "They're just jerks. Forget it."
"I know I should" she sighed, resting her head on Bela's shoulder. "We don't have it nearly as bad as Cas does but-"
"It's still hard." Jo finished and her grip on my hand tightened. Kaz nodded.
"I'm sorry about this guys." I sighed, wiping a hand down my face.
"it's not your fault Cas." Bela scolded. She knew what I was thinking. "being friends with you isn't a curse Cas."
I looked at her with a brow raised.
"I'm not him" she mouthed back with a glare.
"come on, let's get you cleaned up" I changed the subject quickly as I looked at Kaz. "you've got spare clothes right?"
"I'm starting to thank you for making me bring them." Kaz admitted with a small smile before Bela rolled her eyes. I winced slightly as the grip on my hand tightened.
"Killing them with a spoon wouldn't help Jo so get that murderous glare off your face. What would everyone think?" I teased lightly, my heart not really in it. Jo rolled her eyes.
"That I'm a fearless badass" she smirked but it was clear her heart wasn't in it either.
There was a small rap on the door of the girl's bathroom and Jo glared at it. Her grip on my hand tightened again, tucking a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear as she took a step towards it. Kaz visibly stiffened and I could see Bela's hold around her shoulder tighten.
"I swear to god if that's..." Jo started, not bothering to finish her threat. Even for being a year younger than myself, Jo was still one of the scariest and badass people I knew.
"Kaz, Jo, come on. I know you're in there" a familiar voice tried from the other side of the door as fingertips drummed against the wood. "Come out, we can talk about this..."
"Go to hell Dean" Jo snapped back almost immediately. "Your sister doesn't want to talk to you and at the moment, either do I. Just go back to your latest pathetic excuse for friends."
"Jo, you know I had nothing to do with this." Dean groaned. "Why would I want to do that to my own sister?"
Everyone rolled their eyes at his pathetic excuse and Jo pressed back to my side. My hand was numb by now from her angry grip but I didn't let go, squeezing it back for a moment.
"Cause at school you're different and you know it. You act like you care about us as much as Luc obviously cares about Cas." She yelled back, Kaz letting out a small 'no offence Cas' which I shook off. It was true.
"Cas?" There was a hint of shock in his tone before he continued normally. "Why am I not surprised he's with you? Open the door, guys. Let me in so we can talk about this."
"Hell no!" Jo said, her tone judging his sanity. "Why? So you can come and apologize only to torment our friends later? You, my dear friend, are bipolar!"
"Fine" he snapped, a loud thump vibrating the door between us as he hit it roughly. "This isn't over Kaz. We'll talk at home"
"Get lost, Dean." Jo hissed for her, kicking the door. There was a small growl from the other side before the light thump of footsteps moving away. I felt Jo's grip on my hand finally loosen. I flexed my hand by my side. Bela had an arm around Kaz, holding the sobbing girl close and upright as he legs gave way. Jo was by their side in a second.
"I just want my brother back." Kaz whispered as she held onto Bela. "He's not this guy. Not really. You remember, don't you Cas? That's why you still look at him. Hoping he'll come back. You remember. Why's he acting like this?"
"I dunno" I whispered, brushing her fringe back to press a kiss to her forehead.
"He used to be really sweet. You and he were best friends, don't you remember Cas? Jo and I do. Sam too. Then he came to high school and he changed. Then you came out and he changed again. This...this is not my brother." Kaz shook, burying her face in Bela's shoulder.
"He needs a good ass kicking" Jo growled under her breath, shrugging arrogantly as Bela shot her a disapproving glare. "What? It's true"
"I miss him Cas" Kaz sighed. "I miss him so much"
I forced my eyes shut, trapping the moisture that was beginning to well up. I could feel my control slipping and Bela's free hand found mine strongly, keeping me to earth. I pressed myself to Kaz's back, hugging her tightly as I pressed a kiss to her shoulder.
"I know." I sighed, eyes squeezed shut again as I buried my face in her hair. "I miss him too..."
.
I slunk further into the chair towards the back of the auditorium, my spot clearly seen in the middle from the doors. I laced my fingers on my stomach nervously, wondering for the millionth time what the hell I was doing. I stayed in my spot remembering that this would be for the girls. I had to talk to Dean and if it got me killed then so be it. It would be worth it. I hoped.
"Novak" a voice coughed from the doorway, Dean shifting with his hands in his pockets as my attention snapped to him. "Ash said someone wanted to see me. I didn't know it would be you. You know I'm not gonna play with whatever faggy fantasy you have for us in here, right?
"Grow up, Winchester" I growled, standing but not moving from my spot. "I'm here to talk and you're going to shut up and listen to me."
"Am I now?" he challenged.
"Yes, cause whether you like it or not, you're just as pissed as I am." I retorted. "I don't think throwing cups of Coke at Kaz was exactly an order from you now was it?"
Dean raised a brow, his head tilted to the side slightly. I ignored every fibre in my body that was telling me to run as he began walking slowly towards the stairs.
"You aren't afraid of me." He commented, confused eyes on me. "Why?"
"To be honest Winchester, I'm terrified of you." I said truthfully. My breath shuddered as I let out the deep breath I didn't know I was holding.
Breathe Cas, Breathe. I reminded myself
"You could never understand how much I want to get out of here. But you know what? Your sister is more important to me than worrying about getting bashed." I continued, my tone acidic "Clearly you don't feel the same."
I expected the glare that crashed onto his face "Don't tell me how I feel about her, you don't know me anymore, Novak"
"I can see that clearly Winchester." I remarked, playing with the sleeve cuffs of my jacket nervously. I just wanted to get out of there. "They may be my friends but she's your family. There was a time when I knew you. When family was more important than what some idiots in high school thought about you. At the end of the year, none of these people will matter anymore. So why are you trying so hard to please them?"
Dean had already made it up to where I was; the glare on his face permanent as he spoke. "Don't try and tell me what to do or how I am."
"I thought I knew you once. It was years ago but I didn't think you could turn into this. I knew I hated you; that was a given but now I'm starting to see you beside just what you've done to me. See who you've become. No wonder your sister hates you" I growled before I could help myself and I huffed as my shoulders hit the floor, Dean standing above me with a look that was nothing short of murderous.
"You don't know shit, Novak" he spat. "Not about me, not about my sister. Nothing, you got it? Just keep out of my way. I'll look after my sister myself."
"Yeah, in way that would never put your rep at risk. Aka, do nothing" I hissed, scrambling to my feet and Dean froze. "Can't believe how wrong I was about you..."
I was at the doors by the time he finally moved, turning slowly to look at me over his shoulder.
"Hey Novak" he called out, his face unreadable. "You know there's really nothing much to miss."
Wide eyed, I dropped my head, gracing him with the barest of nods as I ran, leaving Dean in the auditorium. Alone.
.
a/n: so what did you think? Crappy i admit but hey! If you like it, send in reviews and favourite if you want. I wont update unless i get at least 3 feedback. If you really hated it, please don't be too harsh. Im new at this.
Love, Eden xoxo