Sakura stiffened, he was right behind her. Why was she frightened? He was so close, she always wanted him close, but why did she feel so afraid? She felt his breath on her neck as he spoke, "Sakura, thank you, …for everything"
"…Sasuske…"
ooooooooooo
It took a long time for Sakura to wake up. Even though her body was telling her she needed to get up, she couldn't. She was conscious, but she couldn't move or think, she just lay on the stone bench, empty. Something was wrong, that much was obvious, but her brain wasn't letting her in on the secret. Her mind was trying to hold her back and draw her back into her sleep, to hold off the pain. Surely sleep would be better than knowing what happened. When the sunlight finally hit Sakura's face, she woke. Was it a nightmare? What was it that had her feeling like she just got the crap kicked out of her? Did I hurt myself training yesterday? It took a moment for Sakura to understand where she was, but as soon as she recognized the bench she was lying on, the memories came flooding back. …. Sasuske. …. Sasuske, gone. Sasuske left Konoha and is not going to come back. The pain was immediate, and she fell into a waking nightmare.
ooooooooo
It took a while for Sakura to realize that being a vegetable was doing Sasuske no good. But how could she cope? She couldn't stop herself from thinking about him! I need to get real! Naruto keeps getting hurt because of me! I can't hold my own on missions, especially if I can't focus on anything other than Sasuske! …Sasuske… Clearly, he wasn't going to come back, he was very determined to get revenge. If that was the case, sitting around crying was certainly no way to exist. Plus, Naruto seemed to think that if he could just bring Sasuske back to the village, some sense might be knocked back into him. Inner Sakura completely agreed with that, but she just couldn't bring herself to hope anymore. How could she? Rejection hurts so much. But, if Naruto went to get Sasuske, there was no way Sakura was sitting behind. I'm done being useless. No wonder Sasuske thinks I'm annoying, I am! I can't do anything, all I do is watch Naruto throw himself into a battle just to protect me, or faint and fall over. How could anyone love me if I am just a useless lovesick puppy? Its time I grow up and become a real kunoichi. If I can learn to become a real ninja, who my teammates can rely on, I will be worthy of anyone's love!
Sakura jumped up from the hospital chair in Naruto's room. She felt consumed with a burning fire. She felt determined, alive! Sakura's crippling depression was lifted. It felt like a physical burden was actually lifted off of her, and she had reason to live again.
When she finally got to Tsunade's office, she knew she had made the best decision, she could feel the rightness of her ambition. "Please make me your apprentice!"
Tsunade considered the girl. Kakashi told Tsunade long ago that she had flawless chakra control. Just looking at her Tsunade could see the passion in her, the determination. Surely this is exactly the kind of ninja Konoha needs to become a medic. "Haruno Sakura, Kakashi tells me you clearly have intelligence and courage. Very well. In return, know that I will be very strict."
"Yes!"
Yes, she will be exceptional, this is just what we need right now. Shikamaru will be pleased.
oooooooooooooo
Sasuske couldn't breathe. He had to stop. What had he just done? Why can't I give up this burden and be a normal person? I hate you Itachi! Even when I do get friends, I can't be with them because of what you did! And Sakura…. What have I done? Sasuske sunk to the ground, trying to control his emotions. If he was going to Orochimaru he had to get this under control, now. Sasuske considered his options. He could just stay in Konoha and become stronger with Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi, but how strong would he get? Orochimaru definitely had more skills to offer. But, going to Orochimaru meant leaving those he had come to love. What of them? Team 7 had such a strong bond, how could he turn his back on such an intense union? And Sakura…. Oh Sakura, I'm so sorry. You just can't understand…. I can't take you with me. You mean too much to me, if you came along I would lose sight of my purpose. And if there was a battle, I would do anything to protect you, and if I died… I have to be the one. No one else has the power, no, the right, to stand up to Itachi.
Sasuske's breathing eventually returned to normal. He stood up. His mind was oddly clear - he had made his decision. He couldn't just ignore his brother, he needed to clear away his past. His recent conversation came trickling back into his mind, "…In the end, I've decided on revenge. That's always been my reason for living." If he didn't avenge his clan, he would have nothing but broken relationships for as long as he lived. Even if he was happy, even if he was content not avenging his family, he would always know…. He would not disgrace his clan. Yes, he had decided. He felt empty, this path was a hard one, and what he told Sakura came slapping him back in the face. "I'm not the same as you. I'm traveling a path the rest of you can't follow."
He was alone.
He would always be alone.
Because of Itachi.
Passion flared suddenly in him. Hatred nearly consumed him and his sharingan actually activated from hate. This must be what Naruto feels when he gets all worked up! I must defeat Itachi, then I can restore my relationships with the ones I love! Naruto, I won't let you down, Kakashi-sensei, I will make you proud! Sakura… I will make things right between us!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Naruto jolted awake and groaned. Something felt wrong, like his arms had been removed, or he had forgotten something important. He flipped on his side restlessly. What was it? Maybe I had some bad ramen he thought, confused. But why did he feel so…. Frightened? Like a huge part of his life was just cut out of him? He sat up quickly. No, all his parts were still there and whole. What's wrong with me? I must be crazy. He fell back into his pillows, feeling distracted. He eventually fell back asleep, only to be woken up by Shikamaru.