2nd Series 03/9 - Beginnings

by InfamousB

Cosmo takes his first steps in learning his magic

Beginnings
by: Laura Boeff

Cosmo hesitated inside the door of Ace's lab, emotions raging in him as he studied the empty room with a wary eye. Always in the past he had come here to watch Ace in his work or to assist in a trick. Today... today he was here to learn. He was here to work the magic.
The realization made him vaguely ill.
'What am I doing here?' he thought desperately. 'Can I do this?'
Sleep had not been a friend of Cosmo's for the last two days since Ace had announced that he thought Cosmo was ready to start tapping into the magic force. Over the two month come-back tour, Ace had kept his lessons strictly on control, on keeping Cosmo from unconsciously drawing the power in.
He was thankful. Oh man, was he thankful! Cosmo kicked himself regularly for not accepting Ace's help earlier. Oh heck, he kicked himself for just not accepting everything earlier.
'You think you'd learn by now, dude,' he chided himself. His rebellious nature had not only gotten Ace hurt, but had nearly killed him... no, worse, had trapped him in the dark recesses of his own mind. An involuntary shiver ran through Cosmo at the mere memory. Yea, he'd made it way too hard and nearly had paid with his life for his stubbornness.
A light tingle tickled him deep inside and he checked the urge to ignore it and instead relaxed, reached out, and gently willed the power aside.
It took a moment, and quite a bit of his concentration to do so. Ace had promised that with time it would become an unconscious habit. Like breathing.
'More like gasping for air,' he thought with little amusement.
Eyes drifting back open, Cosmo studied the room once again, slowly stepping in. It was not easy. Cosmo still couldn't deal real good with the fact that this magic had now made him completely different from the general populace. Different from his friends, from everyone he knew. Well... almost everyone. It was still a secret, one he guarded jealously and Ace protected just as fiercely at his request. Only Vega knew and Ace assured him the old cop could keep his mouth shut.
He would trust Vega. Ace trusted him and Vega wasn't bad. He'd been a real friend during Ace's disappearance, but still.... It was not easy. The pressure built again, stronger this time, answering his insecurities and Cosmo fought it even though he knew fighting it was a vain battle.
"Relax, Cosmo," Ace's voice drifted to him and Cosmo started. He hadn't noticed his partner's presence, having been concentrating on the fight with the magic that seem to want to take over his body.
"Trying," he assured, even though he knew he wasn't.
A soft chuckle floated to him across the undulating haze of power. Gentle hands rubbed at his neck, easing tight muscles.
"You could sure fool me, Cosmo," Ace sighed. "Do what I taught you."
Cosmo nodded and took a deep breath, attempting to clear his mind. It was like trying to bail out the ocean with a spoon, but he tried all the same. Slowly, the world came back into focus as Ace stepped in front of him, looking worried and concern.
"Don't be afraid, Cosmo. The fear will do more damage then the magic," he said seriously. It had been one of their first lessons. The most important one. Cosmo nodded as the pressure eased, but didn't leave, still darting about the edges of his perception. That was something else Cosmo was learning. That the power never really went away, that it was always there, always waiting...
"Thanks," he said softly, then smiled crookedly. "Just nervous."
Ace smiled understandingly.
"I know. It will get better, Cosmo, just give it time."
It had become Ace's mantra, but to a rebellious teen with zero patience it had become a point of utter frustration. Not only was magic a dangerous and unpredictable partner, it was one that required a long association to learn to live with it. Cosmo knew Ace had worked for years to gain the mastery he had, but to one just starting out in the field of magic, the road seemed endless.
"Time," Cosmo sighed, "Seems like it's been forever bud,"
Ace laughed lightly, his good humor easing the troubled teens spirits.
"Well, if I remember right, someone took his time accepting my help," he pointed out affectionately. Cosmo sighed and shrugged.
"It was hard, bro.. I.. just.."
The magician rested a hand on his shoulder, stilling the uncomfortable confession.
"I know," Ace offered. "I shouldn't tease you, I'm sorry."
Cosmo shrugged. "I kind of deserve it. I did make things hard," he sighed. Ace gave him an encouraging pat.
"It's not easy, Cosmo. Truth is, it's never easy, and it never will be. Magic is a serious thing and accepting it is equally serious. I'm sorry it had to be so hard for you," he said kindly.
Cosmo shrugged again, not quite looking up. Ace had been a saint, before and after the warehouse incident. He knew he'd been a real headache for the magician, but his friend had never treated him with anything but the utmost care.
"Thanks, Ace, for everything you know," Cosmo said at last, offering a small smile. Ace nodded, as if he already knew the teens thoughts. Cosmo paused.
Perhaps he did.
"Uh, Ace.. can I ask you a question?" Cosmo stammered a bit awkwardly. Ace raised a surprised eyebrow.
"Of course, Cosmo. What is it?"
Cosmo studied the pattern he was making with the toe of his foot on the floor. While he had accepted the magic that had been 'gifted' to him, he still was hesitant to talk about it. Ace had thankfully never pressed him on what he felt, content to let him set the pace.
"Umm... can you sense me.. well.. like I can sense you?" he asked hesitantly.

It was the opportunity Ace had been waiting for. He had to tried to gently pry out of Cosmo what the boy sensed magic wise, but it was like tap dancing around a mine field. Cosmo had accepted his abilities, but not so open heartedly that he was at ease discussing them, yet. It look like that might be changing.
"No, I can't," Ace answered honestly. "I can sometimes feel it when you tap into the magic force, only when you're in close proximity, but I have no real sense of you empathetically. Our abilities will be different," he explained, somewhat displeased that the answer seem to make Cosmo more withdrawn.
'Oh no, you don't,' he thought determinedly to himself. This was the first time Cosmo had mentioned this particular ability, though Ace strongly suspected it's existence He wasn't going to let the opportunity go so easily.
"Is my presence difficult for you?" he pressed. "Are you sensing my emotions?"
Cosmo shrugged. "No... yes.. oh hell, I don't know," he hissed, flustered.
"Try to explain it, Cosmo," Ace urged calmly. Cosmo looked up at him, then back at the floor, toe making patterns again.
"There's no reason to be embarrassed, Cosmo," he went on, suspecting that this was the problem. "If it wasn't for that ability alone you would have never seen me for who I was when no one else could. You saved me, Cosmo. You did." Cosmo looked up uncertainly and Ace offered him a smile.
"Never be ashamed of any of your abilities, Cosmo. I'm not," he said sincerely. That seemed to do the trick as Cosmo nodded slightly, with the start of a smile.
"It's weird, Ace, I feel you, but I don't. It's a warm spot here," he tapped at his chest idly.
Hallelujah! Ace hadn't dared hope things would go so well, but Cosmo was at last opening up. He kept his face a careful study of quiet interest. Any extreme reaction could very well scare his partner back into his silence.
"Do you sense anything else?" he pried, ever so gently. Cosmo frowned thoughtfully, red brow crinkled.
"I can feel it when you really tap into the magic force," he confessed. That surprised Ace as his eyes widened ever so slightly. Well, that blew his theory that Cosmo simply sensed the magic currents much the same way he did. Apparently it was a bit more complicated then that. Utterly intrigued, he rocked forward slightly.
"What's it feel like?" he couldn't help but ask.
Cosmo's lip twitched in a slight smirk.
"Kinda of like eating a gallon of ice cream to fast. Total head rush," he tried. "It's kind of hard to explain."
Ace nodded. That was one of the fundamental problems with teaching magic. Most of it couldn't be explained in hard terms, it just sort of had to be... understood... experienced.
"It hasn't been so bad lately. I mean, I feel it, but it's not like the first time... " Cosmo let the sentence drift. Neither of the men really like bringing up the topic of Wisnewski or what he had done or what had happened during that time.
"I tapped into the magic force without any controls and you had no idea what was happening when you received. I'm sorry," Ace offered. He could only imagine how disturbing such a connection could be. Cosmo shrugged nonplused.
"Not your fault," he decided. "I felt better afterwards, not so depressed."
Whoa, now that was a revelation! Ace pondered that little bit.
"So you can feel my emotions?" he asked tentatively, not wanting to upset Cosmo's sudden voluble attitude. The teen seem to think about it.
"Naw, but yea.. I think. I only feel like really powerful emotions from you. It doesn't happen often, sort of like gut instinct more then anything." He tried desperately to give shape to something he felt. In the end he just let out a frustrated breath.
"It's just to damn hard to explain!" he declared exasperated. Ace laughed at the admission and concurred.
"That is one the real sticking points about magic, Cosmo. It can never really be explained."
"Great! I get to be confused the rest of life," Cosmo muttered unhappily.
"No, you won't, Cosmo," Ace assured. "You'll come to understand it in..."
"Time," Cosmo shot back. "Yea, yea... I know." The words seemed harsh, but Ace saw the amused acceptance glittering in gray eyes.
"You could be sensitive to me because of my connection with the magic force. Our friendship probably compounds this fact, but I wouldn't be surprised if you could sense other magicians as well," Ace started tentatively, trying to help Cosmo understand an ability he himself wasn't to sure of. Ace's own spells seemed to run in more well defined physical line. Cosmo on the other hand... his abilities were still a bit hard to pin down.
Cosmo made a face at his statements. It was a serious expression of dismay.
"I don't want that!" Cosmo blurted out. "I mean, sensing you is one thing, but others..." he protested the very thought. Ace hurried to calm him. The last thing they needed was Cosmo denying his abilities again.
"I'm only theorizing, Cosmo, I could be very much wrong. Truth is, true magic users are few and far between so it may never be a problem." he got out in a rush with a raised hand.
"And simply because you have no control over what you sense now, doesn't mean you won't in the future. Things are just starting for you, Cosmo, there will be vast changes as your training progresses. You must remember that."
The fear turned to uncertainty as Ace's words sank in. Still not looking happy, Cosmo let out a sigh.
"Don't want to sense anyone else," he muttered sullenly. Ace nodded understandingly. While he could honestly never fully grasp what Cosmo felt when he sensed him, he could comprehend the desire to want to control that ability.
"We'll work on it, Cosmo. I promise." They most certainly would. Now that Cosmo had accepted his magic, Ace suspected his abilities would start really developing, strengthening. Which also meant his sensitivity might increase. For better or worst.
There was a seconds pause, then an accepting nod.

"Okay. Thanks, Ace," Cosmo offered softly to his partner. Ace nodded, then frowned slightly.
"There is one serious promise I need you to make," Ace said hesitantly. Cosmo cocked an eye at him warily. Ace almost never made him promise anything, except in the most sever of matters. The paranoid reaction was involuntary and Cosmo groaned at the realization that he was viewing Ace's request with suspicion.
'You'd think you learn by now' he scolded himself. Ace had more then proved himself worthy of his trust. It was time for Cosmo to return it.
'So start now you idiot,' his brain muttered.

Ace waited patiently as he saw the old flicker of distrust come to his friends face. Still, after all this time, it was hard for Cosmo to trust, but it seemed to be getting better as the paranoia turned to hesitant faith.
"What is it, bro?" he said tentatively. Ace laid a hand on his shoulder again, looking Cosmo straight in the eye.
"You must tell me whenever anything happens. Whenever you accidentally tap into the magic or something happens unexpectantly," he started, stressing ever word, keeping Cosmo's eyes locked on his, willing him to understand the importance of what he asked.
"I can only help you, if you tell me. I know it's hard and I know you still can't quite explain it all yet, but in the future please, don't keep anything from me. Nothing you tell me will go beyond these walls. I promise."

The seriousness of the request was not lost on the young man. Cosmo easily saw the worry and concern in his partner's dire hawk gaze. He nodded slowly, meeting Ace's eyes and keeping them there.
"I promise. I'll tell you everything," he said sincerely, completely.
Ace hand patted his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.
"Thank you."
An awkward silence followed and Cosmo glanced nervously around the empty room. This was were it was going to begin. Whether he liked it or not. Not being the emotion he agreed with...
"Sooo, what do I do?" he asked uncertainly.
Ace shrugged. "What would you like to do?" he inquired simply.
Cosmo groaned. Ace seemed to almost be enjoying this.
"You know what I want to do, bud," he muttered. There was a chuckle and Ace shook his head.
"Sorry, Cosmo, but you can't get rid of your magic," he pointed out, not for the first time. An unenthused eye-roll meet this declaration, joined with a sigh.
"Yea, yea. So, what was the first spell you tried to do?"
The memory that question triggered made Ace laugh out loud. He looked up to the ceiling rubbing at the back of his neck as a smile came unbidden with the memories playing in his minds eye.
"That's something I won't forget. I tried to levitate a small block," he admitted, hands forming the rough dimensions of the cube in question.
"Didn't go well?" Cosmo hazard, suspecting that from Ace's humorous demeanor. That was the cool thing about Ace. He could laugh at himself when he messed up. Not that that happened to often.
"Terrible," Ace declared. "I managed to levitate everything but the actual cube. I think I even manage to lift Anna once. It was not one of my better moments."
Cosmo could almost see it and grinned at the image.
"Pretty scattershot, eh?"
"Very. Knowing what you want to do and doing what you want to do are two very different things," the magician sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, still smiling. "Let's just say it took me awhile to get the hang of that one."
Cosmo marveled at the confession. There was a time he never would have dreamed of prying into Ace's past. Not that prying would have done him any good. Then.. slowly... the magician had started opening windows into his earlier years. The stories had only been shared in an attempt to help Cosmo come to grips with his own budding abilities at first, but after a time, they came more for the pleasure of sharing them, every new story coming easier then the last.
It had been a bolt of realization as Cosmo had laid in bed considering the subject one night. Ace was lonely. Had been lonely for sometime. Probably since he had left Anna to pursue his own magic career. Sure, he had friends. Not many, but very close ones, but no one that he could really relate his magic too. No one that could grasp what he faced day to day. Sure, Mona and Vega were his closest confidants, but neither one could really understand what he felt.
That had changed now. At least there was one person Ace was sure understood... or at least.. was starting to understand. Cosmo had felt proud and scared all at the same time. Ace was offering him a special gift in the sharing of his most private moments and Cosmo wanted to make sure he was worthy of the gift. He would try to be worthy.
"Why levitation? I thought.. well.. that the first spell you ever used was an energy blast?" he asked hesitantly, unsure how his question would be received. It related to one of the less pleasant moments in Ace's life.
The smile dimmed slightly as he considered the question.
"It was, and one Anna was determined not to let me repeat for a good long while. There are vast differences between tapping into the magic force and opening yourself fully to it. It requires discipline and complete confidence to start working that level of magic," Ace explained carefully, eyes lifting back up to his companion. "I hope you have no plans to duplicate your stun attack?" he asked, his gaze narrowing suspiciously.
"Hell no!" Cosmo gasped. "If I never pull that stunt off again it'll be too soon," he added for clarification. He'd felt the full power of the magic force tearing through his body and it hurt beyond all description. Once was enough as far as he was concerned. The experience still invaded his dreams on the occasional night and left him shuddering and gasping for breath from the memories alone.
His utterly adamant reply brought an amused light to Ace's eyes.
"Someday you will do it again, Cosmo. It is one of your gifts, but you will control it then. That's why we're here today," he pointed out, glancing meaningfully about the room. Cosmo looked with him, definitely less then thrilled.
"So," Ace started, crossing his arms over his chest. "What do you want to do first?"
'Like I have any idea,' Cosmo thought darkly. Ace was suppose to be teaching him, wasn't he suppose to decided what would happen next? Something about that puzzled Cosmo. Why was Ace asking?
"You don't know where to start, do you?" he accused suddenly. Ace shook his head, amusement in his clear gray eyes.
"I've told you before Cosmo, my powers are not your powers. Once you know what you want to do, then I can help you. Not before," he explained.
"Oh man," Cosmo groaned. Why did magic require so many decisions?
"I'm open to suggestions?" he announced unhappily. Ace chuckled.
"Okay.. okay," Ace relented. "Why don't you try levitation, see how it feels for you?"
Seemed easy enough. Levitation was one of Ace's best tricks. He nodded.
"Okay."
Cosmo felt the flutter rise in his stomach as Ace came to his side the older man rolling his wrist, a small practice ball appearing deftly in his hand. He tossed it to the floor in the rooms center.
It was small, barely 4" in diameter, but to Cosmo it looked big as a boulder. He gulped heavily. Now it would begin. For the first time he was going to try and control the power that had been tormenting him for so long. He tried to view the upcoming task with confidence and failed.
'Face it, Cos.... your scared silly.'
Ace's hand resting on his shoulder drew his attention back to his partner, friend and now teacher.
"It'll be okay, Cosmo," Ace assured, easily reading the worry in his young charges eyes. "I want you to run through your breathing exercises first."
Okay. That Cosmo could do. He closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath, pulling in the air till his lungs screamed enough, then ever so slowly, he let it out again, abdominal muscles relaxing to the point of complete limpness. A seconds pause and he did it again. As before the more he relaxed the more aware he became of the magic force. The tickle that would occasionally touch him inside turned to a small spark that could easily grow into a wild fire.

"Good.. good," Ace said softly, watching Cosmo carefully. He's own nervousness rose another notch as he readied to lead Cosmo to the next stage.
'Let me be a good teacher' he thought, not for the first time. 'Please, Anna, let me not let you down'. It took a conscious effort to keep his own voice calm.
"What do you feel?"
"Warm spot, kind of tickles. I've felt it before," Cosmo answered, eyes still closed, studying the unnatural spark with his minds eye.
"This time, you will control it, not just push it aside," Ace instructed, a slight nervous twitch went through the shoulder beneath his hand.
"How?"
"Draw it in. Just the spark, no more," Ace instructed. This would be the hard part, Anna had told him it was the hardest part for any magic user. His first attempt at actually controlling the magic had resulted in all the windows being blown out of the house. That had been a mess. Cosmo's momentary pause turned to seconds and threaten to become minutes.
"What's wrong?" he asked gently.
"I can't," was Cosmo's lament.
"You can. Relax, let it come to you. Don't be afraid," Ace offered sternly. Cosmo let out another deep breath and nodded, his hand rising unconsciously as Ace felt the slightest flutter in the magic force.
"That's it," he praised softly as a tell tale glow started to dance over Cosmo's hand. Thin tendrils of luminescent yellow twining between the dexterous fingers, slowly gaining essence.

Cosmo opened his eyes and froze looking at his hand and the witches fire dancing there. He couldn't comprehend it, it was as if his brain had seized. This was what was in him, had been waiting in him. It was a part of him and yet it's own entity. There was beauty in it, but it terrified him on such a gut deep level that a shudder tore through him involuntarily.

"Cosmo," Ace called fearfully as the boy started hyperventilating, the yellow tendrils lashing in response to the emotional upheaval. Ace caught Cosmo's arm and his head snapped up, overwhelmed eyes wide, as the energy discharged, knocking both men down and filling the lab with a sonic crack.
Cosmo stared for a moment as Ace shoved himself up the boom still echoing through the room. He's jaw started working, but sound took a second to follow.
"Oh god, Ace! I'm sorry... I'm sorry!" Cosmo started pushing himself backwards in a panic, feet slipping on the slick floor plates.
"Whoa, easy, Cosmo, it's okay... I'm okay," Ace assured, launching forward and catching the teens shoulders, knelling at his side. Cosmo stared at him, then his hand, then him again, all the while trembling.
"I...I.." he stammered uncertainly, the fear on his face warring with the wonder in his eyes.
"That was your magic, Cosmo," Ace filled in softly. Perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps Cosmo wasn't quite ready to start this stage, he thought unhappily. But there was no turning back now. So, it was up to Ace to ease his partners agitation and instill the lost security.
"It's okay, I know it's a bit of a shock to actually see it for the first time," he added with a reassuring smile. Cosmo stared at him, his breathing slowing down marginally. Ace kept his gaze and waited as the realization started to seep in.
"My magic," Cosmo whispered so softly that Ace had to strain to hear it. He nodded and got an arm around Cosmo, levering the younger man up.

Cosmo managed to stay upright, though his knees were weak and every muscle felt numb.
His magic.
That had been... his magic.

"Cosmo?" Ace asked uncertainly as the teen pulled away unsteadily, staring at his hand. Not exactly how Ace imaged their first attempt turning out, but at least they were both in one piece.
"How do you feel?" he called to his still stunned student. There was no answer as Cosmo turned his hand over, as if inspecting some out rare specimen. It was like he had drifted into a different world.
"Cosmo?"
Ace started forward, then froze as he felt the magic force shift again. No more then before, but this time with a little less hesitation. He looked up with growing pride as the glow started again, nearly invisible at first, then gaining some small substance as the thin lines shifted over Cosmo's hand.
His friend stared at it with a rapt wonder Ace could relate too. While Ace too had, had a hard time accepting his magic, he had held no less wonder at the sight of it.
Seconds pasted, the tendrils thinning then disappearing, the magic having been called and used. Cosmo stumbled slightly as it faded away, a trickle of sweat rolling down his face.
"Easy there," Ace chuckled, offering a steadying hand. Cosmo looked up at him. The fear wasn't gone, not yet, but the wonder was the greater of the two emotions.
"Cool," Cosmo said softly. "I never... I mean.. I thought about it... but it was real, Ace. I really did that." It came out in a faint, excited babble. Relief washed through Ace at the realization that Cosmo had overcome his fear to clear the first hurdle. He'd managed to draw the magic out in a somewhat controlled fashion and the shock didn't seem to destroy the young man's will to continue.
Taking in Cosmo's amazed gaze Ace realized, that if anything, Cosmo was more eager now to proceed.
"You up to trying again?" he asked cautiously. There was a slow nod, followed by a hesitant smile as Cosmo looked him square in the eye.
"Yea, yea I am."