Despite the warmth of his sweaty hands, his phone remained as cold as the air around him. It seemed as though he was holding something as fragile as a thin shard of glass. He made an attempt to punch in some numbers but then he closed his phone in the same edgy manner he had opened it. This whole scene happened again and again till he felt tired. L collapsed in his bed. His eyes fixed on the ceiling.
Ring!
That sharp sound echoed in his empty room. His heart reached his throat. His phone jumped up and down like a fish in his hands as he tried to answer the call. Letters flashed across the tiny screen. His breathing stopped for a moment.
G is calling.
He was expecting a warm voice to greet him. He imagined her smiling as she called. But she was not.
"L..." she murmured. Her voice sounded hard that L had regretted answering the phone. "I know you want to talk to me right now but can you please wait until my job's done?"
L sank back to his bed.
"I really need to talk to you right now." He pleaded.
"I don't have time for that."
And he was welcomed by the lingering sound of the dial tone. He tossed his phone aside and submitted himself to the thought that there was no second chance. They no longer exist. He was not meant for things normal people experience. It was the sad reality of his life. But he desperately wanted her now. His greatest wish was to hear her voice. His heart begged for the words only she could say—the words he only wished to hear from her and no one else.
He begged his mind to let him sleep so that he may forget the great heaviness he felt inside but the thought of letting his time pass without his knowledge scared him. Just before he lost all hope, his phone rang again. At first he thought it was G but he told himself it was not. He pressed his pillow against his ear to block the noise. But he couldn't resist. He held his phone for the second time. It's G again. He weakly answered.
"Hey G." he said. He waited for her to yell. He was thinking of her too much. He knew that she knew.
"I know. Do you really want to talk to me that bad?" She asked. "You don't sound so well. Are you alright, L?"
He felt the great lump in his throat disappear. She's worried. She still cares for him. L wanted to laugh at his own irrationality.
"No. I'm alright. I'm just thinking too much."
He heard her laugh. "I know you're thinking too much about me right now. You really don't know how disturbing it is..."
"Hey! You don't know how hard it is to see myself acting like a complete idiot!" L argued but he was answered by her laugh again. He felt lighter now.
"Okay, Okay! Now, tell me what you want to say. I'm going back to work in a few minutes."
L sighed. If only they could talk longer but they both had little time to spare.
"About your memories..." L awkwardly said. "Can you remember everything now?"
"Yes." G murmured. "That day you kidnapped me from the hospital...All those words you said... Those weird things make sense to me now."
L smiled. Maybe now, telling her wouldn't be much of a problem.
"What time is it in your place?"
"Late afternoon. I'm watching the sunset right now."
"I'll watch the sunrise. Will you answer a few questions?"
"As long as it's not about the military..."
L gathered his courage. He has to tell her now.
"When we were kids, I made you swear that you wouldn't love anyone but me. Back then we understood nothing."
"But now I do. Why are you saying these things, L?"
"On that day when you left for America, I knew that you wanted me to say the same things I made you say."
"L,"
"G...Gretch... I love you."
Her tears slid down her face. "I love you too. I'm not afraid to say it anymore."
"Do me a favor okay, Gretch? I want you to love me forever. I know that even...even after I say goodbye, I'll keep these feelings I have for you."
"You're not planning to run away from your job are you?"
"No. This is the last time I'll say the word goodbye..."
They both stared at their own skies. The western sky turned red as the sun disappeared into the abyss. The eastern sky lit up, signaling the beginning of a new day. L's tears began to block his vision. With his trembling voice, he said her name again. He pictured her smiling at the back of his mind.
"Gretch, if I die, promise me that you wouldn't let your smile die..."
"W-what?"
This time, she was the one left to listen to the dial tone. Her face looked grimly confused. She called him again and again but there was no answer. For hours, she stood outside, waiting for him to answer. She had completely forgotten about the papers lying on her desk.
Meanwhile, on L's side of the globe, as the sun rose, L gently closed his eyes as he said goodbye to that face that became like the sun to him during those times he felt so alone. Slowly, he embraced his fate.
The sound of his heartbeat slowly faded and was dissolved by the sound of the birds joyfully singing their morning hymns