Domestic Affairs
by: Laura Boeff
"Man, what are we doing
here?"
"We're shopping, Cosmo."
"But, Ace, dude, that's
what delivery services are for."
"I'm feeling domestic.
So sue me."
Cosmo glowered, balancing
himself on the shopping cart's handle, feet dragging as it trundled down
an isle.
"I should," he muttered
darkly.
Ace laughed, walking alongside
him, pausing to check his grocery list and reaching for a box.
Grocery shopping.
Ace suddenly had a strange desire to go grocery shopping! And when Ace
wanted to do something, Ace did it. Man.... He could be so weird sometimes.
Cosmo sighed, kicking his feet and looking over at his weird partner. Ace
was incognito, having shed his usual formal wear for a less conspicuous
attire. Dressed in blue jeans and a black T-shirt with a gray jacket and
baseball hat, he sort of looked normal. Sort of. Cosmo couldn't restrain
the snicker that escaped as he studied his older friend.
"Are you making fun
of my hat again?" Ace sighed dryly, back still toward him.
Cosmo snickered again.
"You and hats don't
mix, dude," he declared cheerfully.
Ace turned and put a box
in the cart. He looked straight at his younger partner, a slight
indignant glitter in his eyes. "Look, I like my hat," he stated.
"You look like a dork,
Ace."
"I do not!"
"Do too!"
Cosmo outright laughed
as his V.R. glasses suddenly dropped down. There was lurch and he giggled
as Ace jerked the cart out from under him. Stumbling, Cosmo shoved his
glasses back up and jogged after his friend. And right past. Laughing,
snatching the hat as he went.
"Cosmo," Ace hissed
as Cosmo skipped backwards, brandish the baseball cap.
Ace planted his hands
on his hips and glared at his younger friend. Right there, by the shopping
cart. Suffering a case of "hat head" from the baseball cap that left the
white stripes sticking out all over. Cosmo nearly fell over laughing at
the sight.
"Cosmo," Ace warned
again as Cosmo waved the hat, then playfully slapped it on his own head.
That killed Ace's indignant attitude and the older man snorted, grinning.
The hat had no chance of containing Cosmo's thick red hair and he knew
it probably looked silly as hell on top of the mass. That was why he had
done it.
"Give me that," Ace
muttered with a flick of his wrist. The hat dissolved off Cosmo's head
and into Ace's hand. He didn't mind, feeling the slight and familiar tingle
of his partner's magic as it dissolved. Grinning as Ace endeavored to put
it back on.
"Come on. If you want
to get out of here faster, you could at least help," Ace chuckled, snatching
his elbow as they turned down another isle. Cosmo reclaimed the cart and
rebalanced on the handle, dangling over it as he pushed along with his
toe tips.
"You fall over on
that thing and I don't know you," Ace stated as he looked around. "Now
if I was a box of laundry detergent, where would I hide?"
"Man, you are so weird,"
Cosmo sniggered.
Ace smiled. "Yes,
and you're one of the few people who understand me, so what does that say
about you?" Ace countered with a grin.
Cosmo snorted. "Understand
you Ace? Hardly. It's impossible! Hey, cool." Cosmo scrambled from the
cart, leaving a curious Ace in his wake as he slid up to a display.
"Cosmo, what are you
doing?"
"I used to do this
when I went shopping with my mom," Cosmo explained.
"Put those back, Cosmo....
Cosmo!"
Cosmo ignored him,
playfully rearranging the display rack, stacking can after can, changing
the squarish display into a pyramid.
"Hey," he protested
as Ace caught his arm, dragging him off, one can still in hand.
"Come on, before you
get us thrown out," Ace sighed, not relenting his grip.
"Man. You're no fun,"
Cosmo pouted, studying the can in hand, then tossing it into the cart.
"That delivery service
is looking more and more appealing," Ace sighed.
"This was you idea,
dude," Cosmo chuckled as they entered the produce section.
"Find me some oranges
and lemons, okay?" Ace asked releasing him with a little push.
"Okay." Cosmo shrugged,
then left to fulfill his task. It took him a second to find the requested
fruit. Cosmo frowned, puzzled. "Hey, Ace, how about this one?" he asked
holding up an orange from the display.
"Is it ripe?" Ace
returned, not looking up from his consideration of a bunch of rutabagas.
"Like I know, man,"
Cosmo groused. He looked at it. It looked ripe. But he was a far cry from
a produce expert. Only thing Cosmo knew about farming was that it involved
a lot of dirt and work. Two of his least favorite things.
"Ace," he called.
Ace looked up and he tossed the orange. "Catch!"
Ace did, easily, with
a quirked half glare, half smile toward Cosmo. He rolled the orange over
the back of his hand, then levitated it at the tip of his finger playfully.
"Hey, no playing with
your food," Cosmo cat-called.
Ace grinned, letting the
orange drop into his palm. "That's at the dinner table only," he shot back.
"It looks fine. Get me five more."
"Five more coming
up," was his announcement as Cosmo then proceeded to toss five oranges
at Ace. Ace caught every one, people giving them odd looks as they threw
the fruit across the produce section. Cosmo just grinned. Who said grocery
shopping had to be boring?
"Hey, Cosmo, what
do you think?"
Cosmo looked up to
see Ace. And he fell over. Laughing. Hard. Oh man! That hurt. That hurt.
But it was so damn funny! Ace was standing there, holding two cantaloupe
in front of him, inspecting them. The man probably had no idea how that
looked from his angle. But they looked like a couple of... Oh man... Cosmo
was dying!
He felt a hand wrap
around his arm.
"Come on," Ace muttered
darkly, hauling him up, a blush on his cheeks and no cantaloupes in his
hands. Ace was no dunce and had obviously realized what he had just inadvertently
done.
Now if only Cosmo
could stop laughing.
"Wish I had a camera,"
he hiccuped, wiping at his eyes.
"Oh... shut up." The
blush deepened.
"The things you can
do with produce, Ace," Cosmo went on, bouncing as another wave of giggles
shot through him.
"Oh, shut up."
By the time they hit
the next isle he just -just- had a grip on his laughter.
"Ace.."
"Not a word, Cosmo,"
Ace warned. Cosmo grinned and silently walked alongside the older man for
a while.
"It was funny, Ace,"
he said at last. Ace couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed, shaking his
head.
"God, I hope no one
caught that on a security camera," he lamented. Cosmo just grinned.
"No problem. I'll
make sure they didn't, when we get home," he promised. Ace looked at him
and smiled gratefully.
"Thank you."
"So.. How much more
do we need?" Cosmo peered at the list in Ace's hand. Ace looked with him.
"We're almost done,"
Ace assured.
Cosmo frowned. "Man, you
didn't put any munches on the list," he complained.
"You have enough junk
food at home," Ace sighed.
"Do not."
"Do too and don't
think I don't know about that stash behind the book case."
Cosmo felt a blush
threaten his cheeks. "Dude, how do you do it? I could've sworn you would
never find that," he declared.
Ace grinned smugly. "Tricks
of the trade, Cosmo. Tricks of the trade. And while we're on the subject
of stashes, I'd like to have a word with you about your little stash of
magazines in the laundry room."
The threatening blush
attacked. Viscously so.
"I read those for
the articles, man!"
"Uh huh. Right."
Cosmo just couldn't
look at Ace. Just couldn't. And he knew the older man was just grinning
at his expense.
Man....
Ace let out a melodramatic
sigh. "And here I thought I was setting a better example..."
"Can we change the
subject?"
Ace went on heedlessly.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a disappoin.."
"Can we change the
subject?!"
Ace's grin was easy
to see, even from the corner of his eye.
"Okay. So what do
you think of my hat now?" Ace baited him playfully. Cosmo stared at the
floor tiles, hands jammed in his pockets, face hot.
"You still look like
a dork, Ace."
Laughter was his answer.
"Come on. I think
we've done enough shopping for today," Ace relented, steering them toward
the check out.
"Done enough for a
life time, bro," Cosmo snorted, still too embarrassed to look at his older
partner. Ace clapped him on the shoulder and chuckled.
"Ah.. but the things
you discover at the grocery, Cosmo," he pointed out.
Cosmo still watched
the floor.
"I can survive without,
dude."
Ace just laughed.