Femboy and the Furry
Summary: Ryou's only a side character, even when he's the main character, Joey is cursed to be a furry, and Kaiba has a ridiculously large ego. Beauty and the Beast parody, Abridged characters. SxJ , BxR, temporary SxR.
A/N: WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN...
Everyone knows that Thiefshipping is basically canon in the abridged series, and LK likes to make fun of the Puppyshippers sometimes, so I'm not sure how I managed to get this from the abridged characters. In any case, here it is. It's messed up. Lots of potentially insulting material, sexuality, etc. You've been warned.
I have absolutely no friggin' idea what I'm going posting this when I should be studying. I'm just putting up the first part, I guess, to remind myself that I need to finish it...
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh and all its characters/card games/anime/manga don't belong to me, that's Kazuki Takahashi's. Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged and all its jokes belong to LittleKuriboh, whose real-life name is Martin. Plotline and songs are from Beauty and the Beast, Disney versions and Broadway versions, though I parodied the lyrics. Anything else you recognize? Most likely not mine.
-.-.-.-.-Prologue -.-.-.-.-
Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived an exceedingly pretty boy named Duke Devlin. He had wide, emerald-green eyes and black hair that was long enough to put in a ponytail. He was also absurdly sexy, and he came with his very own theme music... and it TOTALLY WASN'T ripped off Justin Timberlake's Sexyback, even if they did both have the same beat, and the same general music pattern, and the same... you know what, never mind.
Women (with and without heart conditions) would be strongly advised not to look directly at Duke Devlin, simply because he was so hot. Heck, even I think he's hot, and I'm just a disembodied narration!
One day, Duke Devlin opened up a game shop, where he marketed the largely popular board game, Dungeon Dice Monsters. However, there was one person who pointed out the game's only major flaw:
"So, it's just like Duel Monsters," a spiky-haired man told his slightly shorter double. People shopping around them stared at his freaky, tri-colored hair.
"Basically," the shorter boy agreed, twirling a blond bang around his finger.
"It is not exactly like Duel Monsters!" Duke cried indignantly. How dare they insult his game?
The pair of freakishly alike boys blinked at each other before simultaneously saying, "Prove it."
"Uh..." Duke stalled. "It has dice."
"Hey guys!" an obnoxious, Brooklyn-accented voice said. A blonde guy ran into the game shop with a brunet side character following shortly after. "I just got back from playin' Duel Monsters wit' da freaky fish guy!"
A voice in the background called out, "I am NOT a freaky fish guy!"
Joey ignored him and continued, "Man, ya totally missed an awesome duel! Why doncha' blow this pop stand to go play childrens' card games?"
"What?" Duke exclaimed as all of his paying customers flooded out the shop to go play a more superior game for children.
Naturally, it was the blonde's fault.
"You!" he hollered at the dog-like duelist.
"Nyehhh?" said duelist replied, pointing to himself.
"What is your name?" Duke Devlin growled, beginning to draw a spell circle on a sheet of paper and pulling a magic die from his pocket. He'd need the name to complete his spell.
"Me?" the blonde looked confused. "I'm Joey Wheeler, duelist extraordinaire."
"Well, Joey Wheeler," Duke looked at him with his piercing green eyes. He raised a pair of dice and hollered, "I curse you to spend eternity as a horrid beast, a freaky cross between a dragon and a dog! You'll be ugly, and nobody will want to date you! But, you have to get laid before your seventeenth birthday, or you'll be doomed to spend forever as a mutt! However, the person you lay with will be the one who takes the curse! Mwahahahaha!"
"Waiiit," Joey looked at Duke skeptically. "If I'm seventeen, wouldn't it be illegal for me to..."
"Shut it," the very pretty boy hissed, multicolor magic flowing from his palms.
"Burn the witch!" Joey's brunet companion hollered, trying to light a match with the giant spike known as his hair.
Then, Duke suddenly realized that there were plenty of other people in the game shop that could report him to authorities.
"And I curse everyone else except me, Duke Devlin, in this shop to become miscellaneous, outmoded inanimate objects until Joey Wheeler gets laid!" he declared. Then, he hopped on a random broom, and flew off into the sky, never to be seen again.
Which is really quite a shame, especially because he was so pretty.