"They put what where?!" A squeal of abject horror filled the room as Ash eyed the document Brock was waving about with a look of glee on his face.
"Well…" Brock began, a smirk lighting his face, "It seems that you…"
"No, I don't really want to know," Ash said hurriedly. "What I really want to know is who wrote it and where you found it." Brock turned and went to Ash's computer.
"Despite your helpless obsession with pokémon, indexing isn't the only thing this sucker is useful for," He said with a grin as he typed away at the keyboard. After a few minutes of fiddling, he sat back with a contented sigh. "It's called the internet, my friend. And man, there are really entertaining things on the internet."
"What does this internet thing have anything to do with that horrible piece of…writing you have there?" he asked, slightly nauseous with fear. Ash was very confused. Gleeful Brock was never a good thing, and Brock was particularly gleeful as he clicked away on the keyboard.
"It's fan-fiction, my friend," was Brock's gleeful reply. "The author of this particular work is named Dalvar. Apparently she has no greater joy in life than writing particularly bad stories involving you and pokémon doing…the deed." At this, Brock dissolved into helpless gales of laughter. Ash glanced over Brock's shoulder, and the sight that greeted him would scar him for life.
"The words mudkip, rammed and ass should never be in the same sentence," he sputtered. "Especially not like that." A shudder rippled through him at the very thought of mudkip sex. Mudkip on mudkip is one thing, he thought, Brock's chuckles finally fading. Mudkip on human…Ick.
"Soo…" By now, Brock had gotten a grip on himself. "What do you think? I can read you another." Ash protested loudly, but Brock started reading another story anyway.
"Oh. God. Faster!"
Yah, read faster so I can get this over with, Ash thought glumly as Brock continued reading the horrid thing called 'fanfiction'. This particular one depicted a horridly graphic interaction where Ash had anal sex with Pikachu. Not that he knew that was he doing, but you get my point.
Ash, totally fed up with the ickyness, kicked the spinning chair Brock was sitting on.
"That's more than enough of that!" Ash was scarlet, akward images bouncing around in his head. "Just one question. "Who are you paired with?"
A/N: This particular plot-bunny has been simply vampiric, so I had to get it out. The title is a bit of an inside joke with my friends because it is my friend Beka's worst nightmare. Just so you know, there is no fanfic writer named Dalvar who writes bad pokémon porn. The username Dalvar is Beka's username for just about all her log-ins. So, I guess this is one big inside joke I just had to share. Hope you got a chuckle out of it and please review!