Author's Note: I wrote this back in April of 2008, before Prince Caspian was released to theaters. It was inspired by a scan from the movie companion, where Peter (at that point in time for unknown reasons) was fighting a fellow schoolmate on the train station platform. This intrigued me, as did his obvious character development, and I wanted to tackle it. Peter's transformation from boy, to king, to tormented boy again; and the reasons for his angst. (As always, recommended to read this in the 1/2 width!)
Copyrights: Peter, the Pevensies, Narnia; it all belongs to CS Lewis. But Luna belongs to me. Hurrah. (Don't whine about the OCs, I don't really care. :P)
Fifteen months. 462 days, to be exact.
On May 11th, 1941, it was decided that all children should be evacuated from London, far from the bombing blitz that had befallen the capital. Those who were of age would be enlisted immediately to the country's army.
Peter fell just short of this requirement.
The boy would not know the first thing about holding a rifle, nor would he really have the heart to kill another human being; be he enemy or not. But he had a sense of duty that could not be extinguished. He wanted to do something to help.
He wanted to join his father in battle.
When a boy finally befalls upon the age of sixteen, he is instantly instilled with a burning desire to find himself, and make the transition from boy to man. For Peter, the eldest of four, this had been a long time coming. This boy, elder to his oldest sibling by little more than a year, had been struggling for his right and passage for many years now, for the responsibilities of taking care of his mother and siblings had rested on his shoulders for that long. His father was a soldier of World War II. He was never there.
Peter tried to take his place, just as he felt he was expected to.
It was a hard weight to bear on such a young one's shoulders, but he did it with little complaint. It was his burden to bear as the oldest male in the house, and so he protected his family, finding himself a job as a newspaper boy to bring in what money he could to support them, though of course in this time, it was little. Nothing was ever enough, but they got by.
On May 10th, the bombings began.
On the 11th, they continued on.
They were evacuated to the countryside the very next morning.
It wasn't a decision Peter approved of, at first. As they stood at the station, he saw boys only slightly his elder by perhaps a month, maybe even days…they were dressed in uniform, preparing to leave for war. He was not joining them. Instead, he was being sent to the countryside to baby-sit his siblings…leaving his mother in London to fend for herself. He would rather be fighting in the army, making advances towards ending the whole war, once and for all, so they could all live in peace, safely: together. But this was not to be.
Little did he, nor any of them, know how their lives would change living in that mansion in the spacious countryside.
Little Lucy, the youngest and most curious of the four, dragged them into an adventure that would change their lives forever. Fate pulled them through an old wardrobe into a new world…that which was called Narnia. The events that took place in this country would forever change the way the four would live.
They were enlisted into the Narnian army.
They fought a witch and her entire force in an epic battle.
They were crowned Kings and Queens of the country.
Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that Peter had had so much responsibility assigned to him back at home…for it had prepared him for his biggest responsibility yet: becoming the High King of Narnia. An entire country under his command: a daunting task, but one Peter took on willingly.
He was not alone in these sometimes trying and stressful duties, and his sanity came in the form of a young woman, called by the name of Luna: his confidant, his teacher; his best friend. Strict, stubborn and firm, she was his other half, matching his hardheaded ways evenly; making her perhaps the only one who could understand his most innermost thoughts. Friendship became something more over the years, and blessed by the Great Lion himself, they were united.
And Peter was finally happy with life.
He was a well-respected man, happily coupled and eventually fathering two children. His siblings were happy, and his people were content, and therefore so was he. This was the peace he had always wanted, and he had helped bring it to these people. Success had come to him through his hard work, and he could not ask for more.
And then so quickly…it was all taken away.
It was as if they had moved backwards through time, and none of it had happened. They fell forward through the wardrobe once more, back into the spare room in which they had found it. Fifteen years lost, just like that.
Had it all been a dream? No. No, it couldn't have been; he could only briefly entertain that idea. Luna had been real. His children had been real. And besides, surely he and his siblings could not have had the exact same dream, right? No.
And when he miraculously found around his neck, the golden chain with his wedding band on it, he knew.
It was a devastating blow.
A culture shock.
He had been a full-grown man at his prime, with a family and a responsibility to them as well as to their people. Now he was once again that boy at that awkward age in life…only this time around, things were much worse. He was a king in a schoolboy's body, and this adjustment could not be easy, as he would soon enough learn. It is difficult for one who gives orders to return to being given them, especially for one usually so respectful to his elders as Peter was.
His life was turned upside down.
His siblings tried to suffer together, sharing their memories, while he preferred to suffer alone. They would speak of the many balls and celebrations they had had, and he would think of the nights he had snuck away from the festivities to solitude with his lover. They would talk of the battles and the competitions they had held, and he would think of the authority, power and strength he had lost. They would speak of friends they had left behind, and he would think of her, and his children…and all of those who had depended on them to survive.
"One can only hope Luna took on a full title when she found us gone." Edmund had once said, as the four of them sat around the kitchen table one morning, their mother out running errands. The woman had never wanted authority, and had accepted no royal title when she married the High King.
"Surely she did, she wouldn't let Narnia fall to ruin." rationalized Susan, after casting a careful glance in her eldest brother's direction. She knew how touchy the mere mention of their once-guardian was for him, and rightfully so, she thought. They missed her too…she had been family to them for what seemed like forever.
Peter had acted as though he hadn't even heard them, staring down at the newspaper before him on the table, but his eyes did not read the words printed there. Instead, he saw in his mind an image of Narnia in its golden years, when they had reigned happily over all of it.
He didn't hear anymore of their conversation: he left the room soon after to seek solitude to be alone with his thoughts.
Life continued on in this manner, and overtime, the three started to speak less and less of their beloved country, thinking their bittersweet thoughts to themselves, remembering things in their own minds rather than sharing them amongst one another. It was safer that way.
462 days after they entered -- and exited -- the wardrobe.
It was August, and the train station was full of students preparing to return to school. For many of the young ones, it was their first year being shipped off to a boarding school. For Lucy, this was the case.
The girls were to go on one train to the boarding school for girls, the boys on another to another school far off in the other direction.
This was the first time the siblings would be separated in almost sixteen years. Of course, Peter, Edmund and Susan had gone off to school before the wardrobe incident…but to them, that hadn't been just a year ago they had been shipped off to school. It had been fifteen. Fifteen long, beautiful years, that had been so unjustly ripped away from them.
It was almost degrading, Peter felt. To go from a respected position such as king, where all looked up to you and sought your protection…to a schoolboy, where no one cared what you thought or how you felt.
From rule-enforcer to being enforced to obey the rules.
"I don't want to go," grumbled Edmund from his perch on a hand railing, scowling darkly in the direction of the tracks where their train would soon arrive. "We shouldn't have to."
Peter swatted at him, shooting a reprimanding look to his brother as he did so. "Get off there, Ed. And quiet down, there's no point in complaining. We have to go, and that's that."
Catching himself as he stumbled off the bar, Edmund shot a glare in his brother's direction, muttering darkly under his breath as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "I already FINISHED my schooling. I shouldn't have to go over it again."
Both Lucy and Susan shot him a look for even bringing such a thing up, though deep down they were thinking the very same thought. Edmund simply shrugged in response, harboring little guilt at the current heated moment for even thinking about it. Peter appeared not to have heard the murmurings, but he indeed had. He was just desperately trying to ignore it all.
Hiding his feelings had not exactly worked as well as he had hoped, however. His siblings had noticed an extreme change in their elder brother over the past year…it was more obvious than Peter had thought. Where once he had been noble, and gentle, and so put together…he was now falling apart at the seams, tending to keep to himself, getting upset at the smallest things…
Like now. Lucy hated seeing her favorite sibling like this… One minute they were all standing there on the platform, trying to regain themselves after Edmund's comments. The next thing Lucy knew, Peter was on the floor wrestling with another boy in uniform, for reasons she didn't even know. It had all happened so fast…when had Peter gotten so touchy and trivial? He would never resort to physical fighting before! He was a King; he was diplomatic!
Everyday she was seeing less and less of her brother, and more and more of this person she didn't know.
"Peter! Knock it off!" Edmund was scolding, trying to pull the two boys fighting on the platform apart apart. "He's not worth it!" He, the youngest boy of the family, had been the one to mature, if any. While hurt by the fact they had been thrown from their own kingdom, Edmund had kept to his title of 'just'. He sadly couldn't say the same of his brother, however.
As the other boy scrambled away and Peter rose, turning away to straighten out his jacket, Edmund glared daggers at his back. "Oh, that was magnificent, Peter. Bloody noble of you."
Peter whirled around, shooting his brother a look in return. "Don't even, Ed. I don't want to hear it."
"You NEED to hear it!" Edmund snapped back. "You're being an idiot! You've been falling apart ever since we got back, and you're just getting worse every second! The old Peter would have never done that!" He gestured to the floor where the two boys had just been fighting. His voice lowered to a hiss. "KING Peter would never have done that."
Susan bit her bottom lip, pondering whether or not to step into this conversation, stay out of it, or simply try to put an end to it. In the end though, she decided it did need to be addressed (though why now, before they all parted for such a long time, she wondered? She would rather leave on good terms…) and wrung her hands as she looked up at Peter. "He's right. You've changed, Peter…"
A disbelieving laugh escaped Peter's lips. "My siblings are turning against me, now? Have you forgotten everything that was taken away from us? Do you not care anymore? Think about it! Think about everything we left behind!"
Now Susan was flustered, and quite agitated to boot. "We had no say in the matter, Peter! It was our time to leave. Besides, we haven't forgotten and that's not the point anyway. You're been acting very childish about all of this, THAT'S the point! What would Luna say about the way you've been behaving?"
It was the wrong thing to say, and Susan realized it the moment the words tumbled from her lips. She wished she could take them back, recant and apologize and pretend it never happened…stay out of the whole conversation like she knew she should have in the first place. But what was said was said…there was no taking it back now.
"Peter…I'm sorry…that wasn't my place to say…" she started slowly, softly.
His answer was quick and sharp. "You're right. It wasn't."
He then turned away from them, closing his blue eyes tightly as he tried to clear his mind…clear his mind of thoughts of HER. Why were thoughts of her so painful? Why did her memory have to taunt and torture him so? It wasn't fair… but he knew it was because he had loved her. But that just made it all the harder. He loved her, he wanted to remember her…but it was ever so painful to do so.
Why had he been ripped away from her? Why then? Why ever? Aslan had blessed their union, why tear them apart so unjustly? The Great Lion had not even shown himself when they had been thrown back. It had just happened. With no explanation. Peter felt as though they had been wronged.
His wife had been pregnant. She would have to raise that child alone.
"How long does he expect us to wait?" he demanded suddenly. He turned around to face his siblings, who were now all seated on the bench. Shoulders tense, he dropped down between Lucy and Edmund with a deep sigh, dropping his head into his hands.
And his siblings realized then, that at some hour in the year that had passed, their eldest brother had somehow convinced himself to believe that Aslan would be returning for them, to take them away from this wretched reality back to their real home in Narnia. A hushed silence fell over the three as found themselves at a loss for words. What could be said? There was no comfort to give here. They did not know their future, or what the Great Lion would do, if anything.
They could not know.
All Lucy could do was gently rest her hand over his as he dropped them to his knees, hanging his head as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply again.
How helpless they all seemed.
Wanting to find something, ANYTHING, to lift the considerably dampened moods of her siblings before they parted for months, Lucy stood, turning to look down at her three siblings. "Remember what Aslan said. 'Once a King of Narnia, always a King of Narnia.'" While her comment was more so directed to Peter, it applied to Queens too.
Susan looked up at Lucy, sighing softly. While that was a nice thought…did they really have that much of a chance to be pulled back? It had already been a year. If it hadn't happened by now, would it at all? Perhaps it was time they just moved on with their lives, as hard as that might be… "I think it's time to accept the fact that we live here…and now," she said after a moment, glancing around at the other three.
Before any of them could protest to their sister's words of practicality, they suddenly froze.
And then they felt the tug.
After fifteen months -- 462 days, to be exact -- they were finally going home.