I'm supposed to be updating my other fics... but another distraction. I felt like writing something so, here it is.
Reality.
'but how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air.'
(No air - Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown)
All I ever wanted was to find that one person,
Who can actually make me feel something other than
hate, betrayal, and loneliness.
When I found him, I couldn't help wanting more of him.
I wanted to hear that sweet angelic voice and feel his warm skin against me.
He saw something in me, and I saw something in him.
My exact opposite. But also the same.
Our loneliness, Our betrayals.
But he was lacking something, hate.
He was born into a life of fear.
With no family, and no home.
The only family he did have left refused to take him.
He was called a monster. A demon.
But his smiles never faded.
They were real. Like he was. Like I was.
Like our whole friendship had been.
When he told me he loved me, I was more than happy.
When I told him I loved him back he gave me a grin.
He was my drug, and I got addicted quite quickly.
I got dragged into him.
Too much of him, wasn't enough for me.
I always found myself wanting to be with him, to be near him.
To understand him.
Truth is:
Sometimes, reality gets ahold of you.
It can drown you.
Tear you.
Break you.
Or just forget you completely.
When it forgets, sometimes your reality is gone,
and you live the rest of your life pretending.
The only way out of this.
Is if you have reality remember you yourself.
I was caught off guard when he detached himself.
His smile was planted there, but it seemed like I was the only one who
could tell it was fake.
People talked the same, like nothing was wrong.
When I asked him, he said the same.
Nothing is wrong.
I was scared the next day.
When I didn't see him at school.
When he didn't pick up my call during first period.
When he didn't answer the door when I came to his
house later that day.
He broke back into reality.
But no one said he would come out alive.
No one really even seemed to care.
I cared, and I got crushed.
Crushed in the complications
of loving this boy.
Years of trying to keep my emotions in,
meant nothing then.
They all seemed to come out at once.
He was my only love, and my life...
and, he wasn't even here to see my facade, crack.
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