Ten Reasons Why I Thought AVPR Sucked

Legal Humor

1) First of all why the hell would you do a predator's movie in a small, boring Colorado town? Really! Piss off. Why couldn't it be somewhere awesome like the first AVP movie?

2) I hate that they keep on playing this horrible piece of crap on T.V. and not AVP instead. I would rather see Scar and Lex in the pyramid kicking alien ass then hobo's getting face raped. So Please! Do the world a favor FX and stop playing this movie on T.V. and instead play AVP. I really want to watch AVP again! Lol and I've watched it like a million times already. (I know what you're probably thinking. "Then go buy the fucking movie!"). Thing is I'm too lazy.

3) I hate at the beginning they once again show that ugly thing burst out of poor scar's chest. If you haven't notice some people actually liked scar and if at the end of AVP didn't hurt me enough they once again show that ugly whore predalien once again. That really set the mood off at the beginning of AVPR for me.

4) I really like animals so once that hillbilly and his son were about to senselessly murder that poor deer I was about to seriously revolt or something. Of course there are sadly people in this already failing world that show their kids the joy of killing. -Rolls eyes- Go fuck yourselves! I was happy when they both got face raped. Also once the acid got on that guys arm I was all like, "Take off the fucking jacket you moron!" But the asshole just stood there and watched as his arm burned off. When his arm hit the ground I smiled and cheered. And oh my god, don't even get me started about his brain dead kid.

Scene In the Movie: The kid slowly peeks over the rock he's be hide and looks down at his dad lying motionlessly on the ground, while also being face raped.

Kid: "Dad…are you okay?"

No! He's getting fack-fucked! Of course he's not okay!

5) I absolutely hate that one bitch predalien whore kills all of those predators. Predators are way better! And in the end they make it a fucking draw! What. The. Fuck! Who the hell wrote this piece of crap!

6) I was really pissed off that wolf died! I was hoping they would do something like "Ha Ha, just kidding, Wolf actually did survive the explosion" but no, they just make him die after all the shit he was put through. It would have been really cool if at the end of the movie they go back to the now destroyed town and through all the ruble and debris, BLAM! A large arm burst out the ground and slowly closes into a fist. Yay! Wolf survived! But really let's get serious now, why can't the predators win for once. Why are they always getting screwed over by Humans and Aliens alike?

7) I really hate that blond bitch Jesse! Funny thing is I was actually going to do "10 reasons why I hate Jesse", but I thought AVPR as a whole had a lot more problems. Anyways back to my insults on Jesse. The whore basically just stands there and whines while her asshole of a boyfriend pretty much assaults another person. Man, she is so freaking useless! A complete disgrace to women everywhere! Also I hate that her hair was just so damn perfect. It seemed like whatever she went through her hair would have absolutely no imperfections. Even when she got impaled and died by wolfs shuriken her hair was still perfectly swept to the side.

8) Okay this was probably the corniest line in the history of mankind.

At the end of the movie:

The little girl: "Mommy…are the monsters gone now."

The line makes me want to just grab my car keys, drive over to the person who wrote this crappy script, slap him, then just walk away. So freaking…UGH!

9) This reason is probably one of the more important reasons why I didn't like the movie. There was absolutely no human and predator interaction. Like in AVP there was Lex and Scar. I loved the whole communication and teamwork between them. I remember the first time I watched AVPR and it ended and I was just sitting there and then I said out loud, "Wait…this can't be it…WHERE THE FUCK IS LEX!" I really hope they do a continuation of that because I and many other people would like to know what happened to Lex after the whole Antarctica incident.

Did she make it back to that ship? Did she tell anyone about it? If she did then did anyone believe her? Did she end up in a mental institution for crazies?

Now the more important question:

Did scar really die?

10) Now, reason 10 is what really pisses me off the most. I spent another two hours of my fucking life watching what they dare call an Alien vs. Predator movie. How fucking dare you! The only reason why I would watch it again is to see the predators in the movie. I feel sorry for them because they had to be involved in such a lame ass movie.

If you didn't like the movie or thought it at least could have been way better message me or include it in your review your 10 reasons. I'd love to continue this and add who ever to chapter 2 or chapter 3 and so on. This was all just my opinion: I would respect yours and I'd hope you would do the same.

(Also, sorry for my language. Now that I look back on this months later, I even scared myself for a minute their on how "Passionately" ruthless I was in this. I will not change anything though. With or without the many swears I used this was how I genuinely felt at the time)