Yesterday, a wind I knew caressed my skin. A wind I never knew I found again.
It was early into the spring. I walk through the wind, with confidence, fast, like all mornings. However, I wanted to go back, to my warm and cozy bed, and lie there again.
Immobile, without thoughts, dreams, and wishes. And only rest, laying down just for a moment. Waiting for that thing that has no voice, nor taste or smell, just the vague memory. Coming out from the limits of the memories.
Slowly, the door open and my hands stay in the brass knob of the oxidized metal door in front of me. I could smell the rust. Hear the rats in the metal railings of the pluming.
Trying to feel if it was real, I held the knob even harder, it was a dream or not. I could feel a fear building inside me. Starting from my fingertips ending at my feet. Knowing that he would be at the other side of the door.
I pushed the door a little farther. It was a humid room. Cold and musty, you could hear the water drops hitting the moldy wooden floor. The only source of light was the window.
I walked, my heels echoing through the entire room giving my presence right away.
"You're late, take off those shoes, they annoy me" Jonathan said, his voice it was so cold and stoic.
I paralyze for a moment. I shrugged off the fear. I put my hand against the moldy wall, to have some balance to take off the heels.
I was taking the other heel, when from the corner of my eye; I caught him staring at me, with those blue icy eyes. Another current of fear ran through my spine.
I throw the heel, and turned around to face him. He was already facing the metal railings in the wall.
"Hurry up" he hissed at me. I only nodded. In the rectangular table, in the middle of the room. There was man a man tied down, from his hands to his feet. He was looking up; I could see his tears wetting the collar of his black shirt.
I stood in front of him. He looked at me, and started to said something but the tape at his mouth hushed the sounds. Jonathan looked at me.
"Inject him" he said. He handed me a needle with a dark liquid on it. I knew it was one of his fear toxins. I took it from him with my trembling hand.
The man's eyes quickly open. The metal table, started to move violently.
"Calm down. The pinch is no that painful" He said, the empathy in his voice it was so evident, that I asked myself if he would farther in the future do the same things to me.
"Belle, you have to stop shaking" he growled at me, I jumped a little. I gulped the knot in my throat.
"Well do it, I don't have any time to waste" looking at his watch then at me.
"In the arm or the neck. Well in the arm rather, dissipates faster. Do it!" Shouting the last part.
"I don't know how" I said, my voice trembling, just like my body, in a cold day of January.
"I never had injected anyone in all my life"
"Not in your life? How foolish!" He laugh at me, he laugh was dry. I wanted to cry he was being so cruel.
"Go on! Rolled his sleeve. Then you take the needle and push the little thing above it, got it?"
I tremble, I could almost hear the man screaming in terror, thanks to the tape I couldn't hear him.
I look at the small window in front of me. There was a forest, it was dark. I could barely see the birds flapping their wings reaching the latest branches left unoccupied.
I slowly lower the needle into the man's arm. I could sense Jonathan getting impatience, with the tapping of his foot. I was getting annoyed. I bit by lip.
A dead bird fall from a branch.
The liquid was gone.
The needle hit the floor.
I heard him approaching. I back up until I hit the wall. Sliding into the floor.
He removed the tape from the man's mouth. The man started to scream uncontrollably.
I put my hands over my ears, trying to silence the screams, it was in vain. They were getting louder and louder.
Then nothing
"For today is enough" he said to me. I didn't notice him standing beside me.
He remove his white gloves, caressly throwing them in the blue trashcan beside me.
"You look like a scary mouse"
"I am sorry" I said, blinking looking up trying to stop my tears.
He yanked my arm. He quickly put his hand of my neck. "You agree to this, if you said a word, I am going to kill you"
I stood up, I was sweating. A turned to look out the window. The Eiffel Tower stood magnificently a couple of kilometers away.
I lay down, who was this Jonathan? I never had done something like that
I close my eyes again trying to get some rest; I had a hard day ahead of me.
"You're thinking about her don't you?" A brunette fellow doctor asked Jonathan Crane, who sat in his leather chair looking at the vast space.
"Why would I think about her, you kill her didn't you?" he bitterly said to the brunette. Jonathan looked at her, he knew she wasn't going to come back it was foolish to think about her.
She was gone, all gone with all her annoying things. Everything about her it was annoying. Everything, she was useless. You love her still Jonny boy the scarecrow crackled in his head. "I did" the brunette said. Jonathan looked at her, at least she wasn't useless.
"Don't you have a job to do?" he said dryly. How he hated her incompetence.
"Coming, geez your irritable, take a chill pill"
Jonathan waited for me impatiently at the entrance of the library, resting against the wall. He seemed pale and sad, that I decided to stop myself to talk to him.
I walk into the library. It was almost empty. The librarian looked at me. Her glasses resting in her crooked nose, I thought of Dumbledore. I laugh.
She glared at me then look down to her reading.
I walked to the second floor where the math books were.
A little bit later, after I gotten my books and sat a table. Jonathan stood in front of me, with his hands in the pockets of his pants.
"You know is strange: I knew your laugh after so many years. And I never came to love it, in fact I despise it, is so annoying"
I watch him. I stopped myself from laughing. I didn't know why I found it amusing.
"I prefer if you don't it, in my presence"
In that moment, I felt a lively worry; I look down to my book. I was mad; I could feel my hands made into a fist. I wanted to punch him, how dare he.
When I look up, Jonathan was gone.
Then I talk to the air:
"Jonathan, I love you. I really love you, Jonathan, but I don't have the time to think about it. There are so many things to think about. The wind for example. I have to go out now and walk in it. Without you, Jonathan, don't get angry. Walk in the wind, is a thing that one can't do alone, because the fear can't be chase, only by the wind. Is well known, there is a long time I knew"
I stood up, and follow the long bookcase. I saw a door open.
That door is always open. But I never venture to go through it.
Why?
