Ding dong
The doorbell rang throughout the house, causing a one year old Harry Potter to start babbling about pixies (his parents didn't understand this either).
"I'll get it!" James Potter - man of the house - called out to his wife, Lily, who was now trying to calm the boy. Harry sitting in a high chair, refusing food because it was apparently, "ingeslus tith pixie no no".
James opened the front door, "Oh! Hello, we weren't expecting you!" he said, looking mildly surprised at the serpent faced man on his doorstep.
"Oh, I'm horrible sorry, am I intruding?" ask Voldemort sincerely, "It's just that I haven't been able to visit your son yet, I've been so busy this past year with all the killing and what-not. But I just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by."
"No, no, don't worry about it, the little tyke will be happy to meet his uncle Voldy. Though he's usually pretty shy around strangers, took him ages to get use to Sirius, kept saying something about flea's." James moved out of the way to allow their unusual guest into the house.
"Lily and Harry are just in the kitchen, the little guys probably ranting about pixies." Voldemort gave James a confused look, James just sighed and said, "Yeah, it's the weirdest thing, he talks about them whenever the doorbell goes off. We think Sirius may have said something to him because the kid just hasn't said anything quite coherent since Sirius's last visit."
They entered the Kitchen, James ducked as a flying bowl flew by, missing him by inches. Harry started throwing a tantrum screaming, "DAS TE PIXIES, VEY IN CARDNARDS! CARDNARDS! NONO FOOD! PIXIES NO NO FOOD!".
"Silenco!" James shouted, pointing his wand at Harry, there was immediate silence, though the tyke was still red in the face and screaming silently.
"James! How many times have I told you not to use magic on our son! Even if he's screaming!" Lily returned Harry's voice and picked him up, lifted him in the air and spun in a circle. Harry immediately gave up his screams about pixies and instead started squealing with joy.
"The kid always calms down when we do that," James told Voldemort, who was watching the scene with great interest. "We figure it's because he loves flying, he's going to be an amazing Quidditch player, I just know it!" He said proudly, "his first word was snitch you know, gonna be a seeker like his daddy!"
Lily stopped spinning Harry, and dizzily point to the kitchen table, "Come in, come in, why don't you have a drink." she said, wobbly walking to take a seat herself as the teapot floated over to the table and started pouring drinks.
Voldemort took a seat, looking rather uncomfortable, he took a sip of his tea as Lily placed Harry back in the high chair that was positioned directly across from him. He smiled uncertainly at the boy, who seemed to have just noticed his presence and was staring almost fearfully at him.
"Harry, meet your uncle Voldy," Lily said slowly, pointing at Voldemort. Harry just continued to stare. Then suddenly, he reached a short, chubby hand forward and closed his fist as if trying to grab something. When his hand returned with nothing but air he started to scream,
"NO! I CAB GES IT! NO NOSE! I CAB GES IT!"
"Oh dear, oh dear. I'm so sorry about this Voldemort, you see Harry has taken to stealing everyone's nose when he first meets someone," Lily said glaring at James who looked around sheepishly. Voldemort started feeling very self conscious about his appearance at this and quickly covered his face with his hands.
"I'm really sorry, though you should be glad, he's actually managed to pull a few off." Lily said, looking sincerely sorry. James on the other hand looked proud, "The kid's managed some magic at his age already. He's gonna be a great wizard!"
"No no, It's alright, I know my appearance can be shocking to some." Voldemort said, quickly removing this hands from his face. At this, the young Harry shrieked with joy.
"PEEK-A-BOO! PEEK-A-BOO!" he said joyfully clapping. Voldemort looked shocked at first but then put his hands back over his face. He pulled them off again and cried, "peek-a-boo!" Harry gave a shrieking laugh and said, "again! Again!"
Voldemort repeated the act a couple more times, each time Harry would laugh and ask for more. Lily and James watched with amusement, both happy that Harry had taken so well to Voldemort. Then it all went wrong.
Voldemort had pulled out his wand and had been enchanting different items to fly in front of his face instead of using his hands, this had caused Harry to shriek even louder.
"Peek-avada kadavra!" he cried pointing his wand at James who looked mildly shocked then fell off his chair, quite dead. Voldemort stood up, "O.M.G I am so sorry, I didn't mean it! Oh gosh, how can I fix this. Lily, oh man, I'm sorry." Lily was looking at her husband in shock, Harry was gibbering at this new magic, asking when daddy was going to peek-a-boo up from under the table.
"I-I think you should go, yes, please just go." Lily said, still staring at James.
"I'm sorry, please, if there's anything I can do?" Voldemort said, brandishing his wand in panic.
Harry had realized something was wrong, he started screaming for his father and Voldemort moved towards him to try and calm him. Lily had gotten up to take her son and was now standing between them.
"No, really Lily, I can take care of Harry, you really shouldn't let him see his father in such a state. I'll just take him to his-avada kadavra!" he cried, green light shot out of the end of his wand and Lily screamed and fell over.
Harry started screaming even louder.
"Oh god! What have I done, I-oh god, I'd better call Peter, he'll know what to do. Oh but I can't leave Harry here!"
He moved towards Harry, who stopped screaming and looked up. The boy gave Voldemort a very creepy almost sinister look.
"Harry, please don't look at me like that, I didn't mean it. Oh god, Harry I will make it up to you, I will find-avada kadavra!" but this time Harry shouted, "PIXIES!" at the same time as the door bell sounded. The curse rebounded off of his forehead and hit Voldemort.
"Fiddlestix" Voldemort said and then promptly exploded.
Sirius Black, who had just flown in on his bike watched as the house exploded….and as it collapsed, in the dead center of it all was a young child who was clapping with joy and laughing.
...gosh i'm as sorry as Voldemort. Really, i have no clue what this is about. Please forgive me for wasting your time with this utter stupidity. Also, don't take this seriously, i know there are lots of plot holes. Though don't hesitate to point out any mistakes i might have made. I'm always willing to improve my grammar and spelling. Constructive criticism will be welcomed with open arms, flames will be laughed at.
oh, and if you do plan on flaming, i would appreciate it if you would stick to insulting me personally, keep homosexuals and the mentally challenged out of this. There is no need for that kind of nonsense! It's rude and ignorant. Thanks ;D