Deceiver: 50 levels of "What?"
~.~.~.~.~
Is Shintaro Gay or European?
~.~.~.~.~
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeend," the boys that were present in the living room watched Momo and Mary leaning forward, hands reaching to their toes and holding it there, "and SNAP!" they quickly jumped back up, their hair whipping back from the motion. Hibiya's eyes goggled over the bounciness the idol had while Seto blushed at Mary. Kano snickered silently, saying how it would be cute to see Kido do that, only to get karate chopped on the head before the leader retreated back into the kitchen to get refreshments for everyone.
"Where did you learn that?" the youngest boy asked after getting over his shock.
The blonde just smiled. "My agent told me I should audition for the musical of Legally Blonde and I watched the original." She shrugged and sat between him and Kano. "This scene was pretty funny…but mostly fun to do."
"I can see that," Seto muttered under his breath just as Mary sat on his lap, who was humming happily while kicking her small legs back and forth.
"I take that move will work on any boys," Kano yawned before lying back on the couch. "Do it again when Konoha-kun wakes up." He added when he saw the snoozing albino on the couch across their way. There was a pause. "Shintaro-kun, what did you think?"
The hikiNEET was working away on his laptop beside Seto, as usual. "Hmm? What?"
Everyone turned to him, blinking at his answer. "C'mon, onii-chan! Didn't you see?" she raced to his side and did the move again, this time with more action. "What do you think?"
"I think you should lose weight," all the boys that were present to hear this quickly turned away, feeling the burn when they heard the fatal blow to his head followed by a crack.
"Even I wouldn't go that far," Kano grumbled when Momo sat back next to him, grumbling about a certain idiotic brother. Mary stared at the unconscious form of Shintaro, before turning back to her best friend.
"I thought that move works on all the boys…" she tilted her head at her.
The idol huffed, arms crossed. "According to the story, yes."
"And it had no affect when Mary did it too," Seto frowned while playing with her fluffy hair.
Kido came out of the kitchen with a tray of drinks for everyone, and placed it on the coffee table. "Well it lied."
"What? Does Kido want to do it to allure me too?" Kano was punched in the face next.
"Nah," Momo slumped against the couch, blowing a raspberry to make her bangs flew up. "The story said that those who don't fall for the bend and snap is gay or something."
Everyone was silent, glancing back and forth between one another and back at Shintaro. Hibiya just silently took his drink, ignoring what might everyone was thinking (especially Mary, her hair wiggling in excitement) while Kano had his eyes closed, deep in thought before he smirked and went over the hikiNEET. "There, right there," he pulled the unconscious teen up and pointed at his features. "Look at this white, well-tended skin. Look at the fashion he is in. Look at this slightly pointy chin. Oh please, he's gay, totally gay!"
Before Momo could protest, Kido rolled her eyes and said, "I'm not about to celebrate, every trait could indicate a totally straight expatriate. That guy's not gay, I say, not gay."
"That is the elephant in the room," Mary began.
"Well, is it relevant to assume," Seto nodded.
"That a man who wears perfume is automatically radically fay?" Hibiya could have sworn he smelled something from Shintaro earlier.
"But look at his quoft and crispy locks," Kano insisted.
"Look at his silk translucent socks," Mary pointed.
"Well there's the eternal paradox," Kido sighed. "Look, what we are seeing?"
"What are we seeing?"
"Is he gay –"
"Of course he's gay!"
"– Or European?"
All at once everyone turned back to Shintaro, who was starting to get up and ignore Kano to use his laptop. Slowly they all turned back to Momo, staring at her golden locks. "Ooooooooh…" they all settled back into the seats, looking awestruck but still questioning Shintaro's sexuality. at the same time. "Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or European?" They all turned to the dark blond boy now, who frowned.
"Well, hey don't look at me!"
"You see, they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports," Kido started. "They play peculiar sports…"
"In shiny shirts and tiny shorts!" Momo snapped, knowing her brother was neither gay or European before everyone went on. "Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks. They will say things like, 'Ciao, bella' while they kiss you on both cheeks."
"Oh please," Kido face palmed.
"Gay or European? So many shades of grey…"
Kano stood up, shrugging with a sigh of, "Depending on the time of day, the French go either way," before both Kido and Seto pulled him back into his seat.
"Is he gay or European or – "
"There right there!" Ene suddenly appeared on Momo's phone, looking sneaky as she pointed at the NEET. "Look at that condescending smirk. Seen it on every guy who jerks. That is a metro-hetro jerk! Master is not gay, I say no way!"
"That is the elephant in the room," the gang reminded her. "Well, is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume…"
"Is automatically, radically…" Mary pointed at the laptop's screen, eyes wide with Seto following.
"…ironically, chronically…" He saw him looking up pictures on a yaoi anime.
"…certainly, certainly…" Hibiya gapped as he saved him.
"…genetically, medically…" In Momo's phone, Ene quickly hacked into his laptop to let everyone see what Shintaro was doing right now. Everyone toppled over the idol for a closer look, chanting in union nion:
"Gay! Officially gay, officially gay, gay, gay, gay…!" It turned out he was actually sending the pictures to Mary's own computer. "Dammit!"
"Gay or European?" Mary began again, wanting to forget all that and move on.
"Gee, so stylish and relaxed," Ene pouted.
"Is he gay or European?"
"I think his chest is waxed," Momo thought out loud. Too much information!
"But they bring their boys up different, there it's culturally diverse," Hibiya sighed. "It's not a fashion curse."
"If he wears a kilt or bears a purse," Kano cackled at the idea.
"Gay or just exotic?"
"I still can't crack the code," Seto hummed.
"Yet, his accent is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy toed," Kido quickly added when Kano gave her a look.
"Huh."
"Gay or European? So many shades of grey…"
Ayano suddenly appeared from the window with a smile. "But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday," and disappeared before anyone else noticed.
"Is he gay or European?" Hibiya and Momo chanted.
"Gay or European?" Kano and Kido followed.
"Gay or Euro –" Ene and Mary started but Seto quickly got up.
"Wait a minute," he sat Mary down in his seat before turning to the gang. "Give me a chance to crack this guy, I have an idea I'd like to try."
"The floor is yours," Kido waved him off to have a go.
He nodded and casually went up to Shintaro, still on the laptop. "Shintaro-kun, you've been close to Mary for…"
"Two days?" What was he up to?
"And your first name again is?"
"Shintaro." This was getting stupid.
"And your boyfriend's name is?"
"Konoha." So what…!?
He spat his coke out and almost everyone fell off their seats, gawking at the teen before he quickly corrected, "Wait wait wait! I heard wrong! You said boyfriend, I thought you said best friend!" Shintaro cleared his throat and sat back. "Konoha is my best friend."
At that moment, Konoha instantly got up, eyes turning red. "You bastard!" He went Kuroha. "You lying bastard!" No one had seen the albino snap like this before. "That is it! I won't cover for you anymore! Everyone! I have a big announcement." He pointed at Shintaro in accusation. "This man is gay and European!"
"Whoa!" Now everyone was off their seats.
"And neither is disgrace!"
"Oh!" Mary had her hidden camera out.
"You've got to stop being a complete closet case!"
"D'oh!" they all faceplamed from the chaos.
"It's me, not her he's seein', no matter what he say," he huffed and tilt his hips to the side. "I swear, he never ever, ever swing the other way." He marched up to Shintaro, shoving Seto aside as he pulled on the hikiNEET's ear, hollering, "You are so gay, you big parfait! You flaming boyband cabaret!"
"I'm straight," Shintaro snapped but Kuroha kissed him on the lips to shush him.
"You were not yesterday," he patted him on the head before strutting to the center of the room.
"So if I may, I'm proud to say…He's gay!"
"And European!" Mary sang in glee.
"He's gay!"
"And European." Momo had a hard time to accept this now.
"He's gay!"
"And European and gay," the gang joined in on the medusa rejoicing there were gay couples in this gang. Shintaro threw his hands up, marching over to Kuroha to pull him into a nearby room.
"Fine okay, I'm gay!" he confessed before slamming the door to the room with a loud bang.
"Hooraaaaaaaaaaay!" Mary was practically squealing as she jumped into Seto's arms in joy and everyone joined in with her cheering. More yaoi for her!
Kido clapped for her, nodding to please before sitting back down with Kano and Momo. Hibiya had enough of this crap and left the base for the day. While they just sat there in silence, Mary rambling on this new ship of hers, Kano sat up quickly.
"Who's room are they in?"
And Ene went over to the computer that was in the room Shintaro and Konoha went into. She had some recording to do.
~.~.~.~.~
Deceiver: Ignore me I'm stupid good bye.