"Why on earth haven't you finished it yet Sy?" Christian angrily threw the cushion he had been plumping for the last ten minutes onto the sofa.
Syed appeared in the kitchen doorway, wiping his hands on a towel.
"I have. And don't take your stress out on me."
Christian sighed and pulled him towards him, wrapping him in an embrace.
"I'm sorry my love. She does this to me."
Syed kissed him.
"And don't you think I'm petrified too?"
"Stop being daft, she'll adore you. Who wouldn't?"
Syed returned to the kitchen, smiling over his shoulder.
"Let's hope so." The door buzzer made them both jump. "Here she comes."
Christian kissed his mother on the cheek and ushered her into the flat. She looked around disapprovingly.
"It looks different. Where are all your dirty magazines?"
Christian took her coat and hung it behind the door.
"Did you want to read one? I know what you women are like."
"Hmm." she settled herself onto the sofa, handbag held rigidly on her lap.
"This is surprisingly comfortable. Not your usual style."
Christian fought back the desire to slip a Minute Mart carrier bag over her head.
"Syed chose it. Here he is."
Syed wiped his palms down the back of his jeans nervously, hoping they wouldn't be sweaty, and returned her frosty handshake.
"Hello Mrs. Clarke. Pleased to meet you."
He felt himself being appraised by beady eyes, feeling as if they could see right through to his insides, and were checking whether or not his spleen and other vital organs were up to scratch.
"Call me Linda."
Syed spotted Christian's thumbs up sign from the corner of his eye and tried to ignore it.
"Can I get you a drink?"
She paused, pursing her lips.
"Nothing exotic Thank you."
Christian was now making a strangling motion behind her back and Syed tried not to laugh.
"Tea?"
She adjusted her bag.
"It isn't some strange brand?"
Christian, who had moved on to miming a stabbing, stopped abruptly when she turned to look at him.
Syed toyed with the idea of telling her that it was a special brew, mixed with the venom milked from snakes, but decided that she probably made that at home anyway. In her cauldron.
"Tetley's" He shot her a beautiful smile and Christian sensed a slight thawing in the atmosphere.
After an hour of interrogation, about his schooling, his job, his family and even his shoe size. Syed slumped exhausted onto the bed, listening to mother and son squabbling down the stairs.
Out on the street, Christian took his mother's hand.
"So what do you think?"
She considered for a moment.
"He's very thin. You are looking after him properly?"
"Yes mum. He burns off a lot of energy." he grinned dirtily.
She pulled a face.
"I don't want to know how. You won't go back to your old ways? Mess that poor young man around?"
Christian felt a pang of love in his heart and replied truthfully;
"No mum. I will never do that."
His mother looked surprised, and pleased.
"Good. About time you settled down. Does he make you happy?"
Christian put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
"Yes mum. Happier than I ever believed possible."
She patted his chest.
"Then I suppose he'll do."
"Yes mum. He does very well indeed."