It finally happened
Chapter one: Texts, dreams and jealousy
"Another awesome show tonight guys!" Mike said.
Phil grinned, "Thanks Mike! See you next Sunday." Dan and Phil walked out of the big building that contained BBC Radio One. "I'm never going to get used to this," Dan suddenly said.
Phil frowned, "Used to what?"
"Having a show on Radio One!" Dan spoke like it was the greatest thing in the world.
"It is pretty awesome," Phil agreed. Dan smiled at his best friend and said, "So, do you want to catch a movie?"
"Sure," Phil shrugged. They walked down to the nearest cinema and looked at the film schedule outside. "Pacific Rim is on in ten," Dan said, "Do you want to see that?"
"Yeah sure, I've wanted to see that for ages." They bought tickets and settled themselves in the correct screening room. "Not many people here." Dan commented.
"No there isn't is there?" Phil frowned.
"Well I suppose it's been at the cinema for nearly three weeks now." Dan offered. Phil nodded as he took a sip of his drink.
A few days later when they were eating cereal in the lounge, Dan asked, "Uh Phil? When did you put these Pokémon stickers on the table?" He tried peeling them off but they were stuck. Phil grinned guiltily. "The table looks prettier like that!" He said.
"Seriously," Dan moaned, "It's like living with a five year old!" Phil smiled to himself; He liked it when Dan overreacted. Dan shook his head. It was like living with a five year old but that's what Dan liked about Phil. The fact that Dan, being twenty-two, could act more mature than Phil at times gave him a feeling of power. But of course he knew that he was immature in his own way. So he couldn't really talk.
They finished their cereal and Phil took the empty bowls into the kitchen. He had left his phone on the table and a notification suddenly sounded. Without thinking, Dan looked at Phil's phone. He had a habit of being a bit too nosey. The text was from 'Becca'. Dan didn't know who that was and Phil had never mentioned the mystery girl. He read the text and was even more confused. It said:
"Hey babe, had a great time last night! Same time again tonight? Xxxxxxx"
Dan was still staring at the screen when Phil came back. "Dan? What's wrong?"
"Uh… Who's 'Becca'?" Dan looked at him.
"Have you been looking at my phone again? I told you to stop doing that!" Phil was clearly annoyed. Dan felt guilty but he wanted to know who Becca was and he was interested in the fact that she had "had a great time last night".
"Who is she?" He pressed on.
Phil sighed and grabbed his phone out of Dan's hand. "Just… A girl," He stuttered.
"Really?" Dan answered sarcastically, "I didn't know that Becca could be a girl!"
"Shut up Dam," Phil groaned as he sat on the edge of the sofa.
"Sorry," Dan apologised, "Just tell me who she is."
Instead of giving in, Phil shocked Dan by saying, "I don't see why this is any of your business."
"No need to be rude!" Dan answered back, "It kinda is my business since you're my best friend."
Phil looked down. He knew he was going to have to tell Dan sooner or later. "She's just this girl I've been seeing."
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Dan burst out, "My buddy has a girlfriend?! Why didn't you tell me?"
Phil looked uncomfortable. "She's not my girlfriend."
Dan sat up straighter. "Still! I thought we told each other everything…" He was annoyed and hurt that Phil had kept this form him.
"I'm sorry," Phil wouldn't look up. He looked at the text which he hadn't read yet. Before he replied to it Dan said, "Are you meeting her again tonight?" He was quieter and strangely angry. He didn't understand why.
"Not if you don't want me to," Phil replied.
Dan took a long breath in. "Of course I want you to go," He said, "I'm just annoyed you didn't tell me." He looked at Phil as he said this. Phil was already texting back Becca. "I'm sorry," He breathed again. After putting his phone in his back pocket, he went silently into his room.
Dan put his head in his hands. He didn't know why this bothered him so much. Surely he should be happy that Phil had found a girl. He should have been but he wasn't.
For the rest of the day the boys didn't talk much. Phil spent most of it avoiding Dan and any eye contact. Dan was fine with that. He didn't want to talk to Phil any more than Phil wanted to talk to him. He was still angry but not as much as before. Most of the anger had been replaced with sadness. He wasn't sure why. His brain was telling him nothing.
At about half six, Phil came into the lounge wearing his favourite black jeans and a dark blue shirt. He was putting on his jacket as Dan glanced over to him. "I guess you're going out then… Again," Dan muttered.
"I told you, I don't have to go if you don't want me to."
Dan tutted, annoyed. Phil wasn't making him feel any better. "Just go," He whispered. Phil looked down and sadly went out of the room.
When he heard the front door slam shut Dan curled up into a ball. What was this feeling? Angry and sad at the same time. He felt close to tears. A cup of tea would help, right? He sat up again and tried to recollect himself.
Going into the kitchen, he noticed the clock. "Maybe I should have something to eat," He thought. He looked around the kitchen and decided he didn't want anything. He felt tired and sick.
When the tea had brewed and his pyjamas were on, Dan crawled into bed. Seven o'clock wasn't his usual bedtime but he was exhausted. His mind went back to his and Phil's conversation that morning. And then something went ding. Dan sat up; He knew what was wrong with him. He was jealous. Jealous of what though?
In the middle of London, Phil was in the middle of a meal with Becca. His head wasn't really in it that night though and Becca knew it. "Are you ok Phil? You seem… distant," She frowned. Phil, snapping back into reality, said, "I'm… I'm fine. I'm just upset how I left things with Dan earlier."
Becca looked sympathetic, "Don't worry honey. I'm sure he's fine."
"It's just weird," Phil continued, "Why did he react like that? He seemed really sad."
"Well to me it sounds like Dan is jealous," Becca smiled as she said this.
"Dan... jealous? I don't think so," Phil put down his fork.
"I think so," She replied, "Think about it. He was annoyed when he found out about me. He's upset that you have me and he doesn't have anyone."
"You really think that's what it's about?" Phil still wasn't too sure.
"I'm positive. When you get back tonight why don't you talk to him? It might help clear up the air."
Phil pondered this idea and went back to his food.
Dan had been jealous before. He usually got jealous really easily. But this time it felt different. It was stronger and hurt more. Was he jealous that Phil had a near girlfriend and he didn't? That seemed the only logical explanation. Without warning, his mind gave up on him and he fell asleep.
It was getting late and Phil was getting more and more agitated. He hadn't been very good company that evening. Becca knew that he had a lot on his mind to let it go. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, "If he is jealous, remember to be sympathetic. I'll text you tomorrow."
Phil just nodded and they went their separate ways. The whole way home Phil went through in his head what he was going to say. He still didn't know how to bring it up without it being awkward. He took a deep breath and then turned his key in the lock and opened the door.
Dan was sitting on the sofa watching TV. Phil came in and sat next to him. "I'm sorry Dan," He said, "I'm not going to see her again."
Dan smiled and hugged him. During the hug Phil suddenly kissed him Dan on the forehead. "I want you instead," Phil whispered. They pulled apart but kept close. Dan looked into Phil's fabulously blue eyes and lent in. Phil draped an arm around his waist and didn't waste any time. Their lips touched and-
Dan shot straight up in his bed. That did not just happen. He did not just have that dream. He heard the front door slam shut. That would be Phil, shit! He couldn't talk to him, not after having that weird dream.
"Dan?!" Phil called out, "I need to talk to you." Fuck! Looks like he couldn't avoid this confrontation. He heard a light tap on his door. He gulped, turned on his light and cautiously walked to the bedroom door. He opened it to see Phil who immediately looked at his feet. He looked nervous and awkward. Dan went back to his bed. He didn't want to just stand there, an awkward silence hanging in the air. When he sat on the bed he hugged his legs. After a moment, Phil decided to follow him into the room. "I want to talk to you about earlier," He was looking anywhere but where Dan was. "Don't bother," Dan sighed. Even though it was obvious he didn't want to, Phil continued, "I um… I talked to Becca about it and she seems to think that you're… jealous…"
Phil looked at him when he said this. Which meant that it was Dan's turn to look away.
"Look, if you are, that's fine. Don't worry. You're only twenty-two. You'll find a girl soon."
Hearing this made Dan angry. He realised that he didn't want a girl; He wanted Phil. Over the years he had subconsciously developed deeper and deeper feelings for Phil. He couldn't say that though. That would make the atmosphere even more unbearable. He just nodded to avoid any conflict. He thought that would be it but Phil surprised him by leaning down suddenly and hugging him. Dan closed his eyes, he was enjoying the moment. But it was over too soon. Phil pulled back which pushed Dan over the edge, "I don't want you to see her anymore."
Phil stepped back a bit. "What?"
Dan had really dug himself in it now. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came to mind.
"You don't want me to see her anymore?" Phil frowned. Dan didn't say anything.
"Is it just that you're jealous that I'm seeing someone? Or do you just not want to see me happy?!" An edge of anger finished the last sentence. Phil was getting annoyed now.
"No! That's not it!" Dan counteracted.
"Then what is it?!" Phil folded his arms, "It's not like I flaunt her around the flat and brag about her!"
"I know! I didn't mean it like that!"
"Then how did you mean it?!"
Serious Phil was quite rare so when angry Phil was out, you sorta brought it on yourself.
Dan couldn't say it. It would ruin their friendship. He had to say something though. Phil wasn't going to forget this any time soon. "I… Uh…" Nothing came to mind.
Phil was glaring at him now which had never happened before. Dan had never seen him this angry since well, ever. "Seriously Dan!" Phil exploded as he couldn't wait any longer, "I don't understand! Why this is bothering you so much?!" "Because…" Dan started but he couldn't continue. He now realised that he'd had feelings for Phil for a long time.
"Just tell me!" Phil was getting more and more impatient. This wasn't the sort of conversation he's originally wanted at ten o'clock at night.
"I-I…" Dan stuttered. Phil urged him on with his eyes.
"I… think I'm in love with you." Dan closed his eyes.
Phil blinked. He opened his mouth to say something but slowly shut it again. A silence hung in the air. Neither of them said anything for a while until Dan whispered, "I uh… I'd like to go to sleep now if you don't mind." He just wanted to be alone so he could cry. Tears pricked in his eyes when Phil nodded and slowly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.