~* - One Last Chance - *~
A/N: I just finished writing this. It's my first Mimato fic that isn't rated NC-17. I had origionally written one a long time ago but I forgot the name of it (honestly! Isn't that stupid of me) and anyways, it was deleted off of the site before I could save in back into my computer. If any of you remember, I think it had been called "Delicate".
Summary: Matt has just told Mimi about his proposal to Sora. In one last attempt, Mimi tries to debate on whether she should admit her true feelings before it is too late (if it isn't already too late).
Disclaimer: I realize that I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fic and I'm not about to say that I do.
Had I lost my chance? Ha! I had lost the chance to be loved by him years ago. I remember every moment with pain and regret. Why couldn't I ever tell him how I truly felt? I could spend 5 hours talking about everything except that on the phone! Why had I given up the oppertunity, why?!
Staring up into his deep, azure eyes, I blinked back tears and forced myself to smile. He looked so handsome, with his hair puffed out like it had been during our adventures in the digital world. His smile made me melt inside and my heart pound faster. What girl could resist him? I tried with all my heart to keep myself from throwing my arms around him and devouring his lucious lips.
"Are you okay, Mimi? You seem a little emotional," he said, gazing even deeper into my eyes as if trying to read my true thoughts.
I tried to keep back my tears but I felt one trickle slowly down my cheek, tripping off the edge of my chin. "Oh, y-you know. I'm just so happy for you and Sora..."
And then I burst into tears. Matt gave a small laugh and hugged me. "Oh Mimi, you get emotional over everything. You're supposed to wait until Sora says "I do" before you start crying."
"I-I know. But I just can't-can't help it."
"It's a beautiful day. Why don't we go take a walk through Odaiba park and maybe that'll calm you down. Plus, it'll give us time to catch up."
I nodded, letting go of Matt and grabbing my purse. I had arrived in Odaiba about a month ago, moving back from the states after I had graduated from high school. Sora had been excited about my return and we had spent almost every waking moment together, although it had been hard for me since I had deep feelings for her boyfriend. Matt and Sora had been dating for four years now and on their anniversary, a few days ago, he had proposed to her. Today he had told me the 'great' news and, as you can tell, I can't take it well.
Following him through the park, I looked up to the clear sky as my tears subsided. Today was remarkably beautiful and the park was filled with many cherry blossom trees, shedding their pink blossoms all over the park's sidewalk. I normally would show more admiration for Tokyo's beauty but my heart just wasn't into it.
"So, enjoying your return to Odaiba so far?" Matt asked.
I gave a forced smile. "Yes, not much has changed since I left."
"Are you excited about the wedding? Sora wants you to be her maid of honor."
"She does? I don't think I should be," I replied. "I don't deserve that. She should have someone who's been here the past five years, someone who knows everything you two went through."
"I think you deserve it. And who else would she pick? Kari wouldn't want to and Yolei would insist you be the maid of honor, since she looks up to you. It would mean a lot to us if you were maid of honor. You've been around since before Yolei and Kari."
"Oh...are you sure I should be? If you knew...trust me, you wouldn't want me to be the maid of honor."
"Why wouldn't I? You'll be great, Mimi. Trust me."
Matt stopped walking to rest under a tree, hiding from the sun under a giant cherry blossom tree. I sat down beside him, making sure to keep at least a foot of space between us. If I sat too close to him, I may not be able to control what would happen next.
Gazing out at the view in front of us, I asked, "So how did you propose to Sora?"
Matt smiled, closing his eyes as he recalled the memory. "I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. I remember planning the whole night carefully for about two weeks. But when the night finally came, everything went wrong. At the restaurant, we had received the wrong order, it started raining when I had taken her on a romantic stroll throughout the park, and when I had knelt down to propose, I had tripped and fell on my face. I felt like such an idiot. Poor Sora was shivering as she waited to see what I was up to. I thought for sure she would be mad at how the night had turned out but the moment she saw the ring...even though the night went horrible, her expression made it worth it. I wouldn't have changed that night for anything in the world the moment she said 'yes'..."
I sighed, leaning back and closing my eyes dreamily as I pictured what it would have been like if Matt had proposed to me. I had had many dreams of what it would be like and each time, my eyes would fill with tears and I'd collapse into his arms and stay like that for what felt like forever...
I felt tears begin to form again as I remembered harsh reality. Was it really harsh? Sure, I hated how life turned out but it was my fault, wasn't it? I should have told him.
"There you go again, Meems," Matt stated, grinning. "If you keep this up, I'd hate to see your reaction at the wedding."
Oh trust me, Matt really won't want to see me at the wedding.
"Yes, I know," I sighed. I tried to hold back my tears but I broke down into a sob, hiding my face in my hands.
"Aw, Meems, you really shouldn't cry so much. I hate to see that beautiful face of yours filled with tears, even if you are happy for Sora and I."
He lifted my face from my hands, his fingers tilting my face so that I was looking directly into his blue eyes. His eyes were filled with unsustained joy while mine were filled with a jealous sadness. How horrible I was for even thinking of my best friend's fiance like that.
But I couldn't help myself and I still can't. I knew that a faint blush had rose to my cheeks as he had complimented on my beauty. And the more those words ran through my hearts, the more my heart pounded and my body tingled with his sensational touch. I looked at his lips with a strong yearning, holding the urge to scream out my feelings and to keep from kissing his tender lips.
"I love you, Matt," I blurted out, tearing up again and cursing myself as the words slipped.
Matt's eyes went wide, and his hands left my chin as if I my skin were cursed. He turned away and stared out across the blue pond that lay before us, probably thinking that I was stupid or that I was the worst person on the face of the planet. Friend's aren't supposed to pronounce their love to their best friend's fiance.
"I-I'm so sorry Matt," I stuttered, blinking back my tears. "I had no right to say it. I should probably leave."
I stood up and prepared to walk away, feeling the dejection of the one thing I wanted most dwell like a heavy weight within the pit of my stomach, when I felt him grasp my arm. I turned to look down into his sad, blue eyes, and suddenly found him looking at me in a whole new way. There was something different about his eyes...
"Don't go," he whispered. "I think we need to talk about this."
Nodding silently, I sat back down, keeping as much distance from him as I felt necessary. Whatever he had to say couldn't possibly be good.
"It's too late."
"I know it is, Matt."
"Nothing could ever come of this."
"That's why I've been crying."
"Don't cry over me, Meems. There are other men more perfect for you."
"But there's only one man I want."
He shook his head, looking at me with those sad eyes. "There isn't only one, Meems. You'll find someone else. It's too late for us."
"What do you mean it's too late for us?" I inquired. "Are you saying there could have been an 'us' or are you merely saying it's too late for me?"
"Mimi, I shouldn't be telling you this," he said, looking away in shame. But he brought his eyes back to me, filled with such intensity that I felt like crumbling under his love filled gaze. "But...I also love you. I love more than anything in the world, other than Sora. But it's too late."
"You said that already," I replied, forcing a smile. "But I understand."
A silence fell between us and we continued to stare at each other, like two lost dogs that had strayed a long way from home. I should have turned to leave, I should have walked away. But what happened next surprised me to a point where I thought I would have had a heart attack.
Matt leaned forward, tipping my chin towards his face. His eyes bore down into mine, sparkling with tears as if he understood the great responsibility of his unfaithful act. I felt another tear escape but his fingers gently wiped it away. Another silent moment passed and all we could do was stare and contemplate the shameful act we both wanted to perform. And then our lips touched.
I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine, a tingling sensation trailing down the back of my spine. I felt myself shudder as he gently nipped my lower lip, his tongue teasing the opening of my mouth. Our teasing kiss grew more passionate as the moment wore on and the whole world around us disappeared as seconds turned to hours and hours became an eternity. I felt his tongue tease my own and I collapsed into his arms, my heart's desire finally being fulfilled.
But not everything can last forever. Before I could further indulge this kiss, I found myself pulling away in anger and disgust. I truly was the worst person on the face of the planet! All I could think about were my own feelings and not Sora's! How she would hate me if she ever found out.
Matt turned away, also hiding his head in shame. Both of us had hurt Sora although if she ever were to find out, I'd take all the blame. If I hadn't told Matt how I felt, he would never have been tempted to kiss me like that.
"We shouldn't have done that," I whispered.
Matt nodded. "I know. But did we really have a choice?"
I pondered his words for a moment, thinking of some explanation that would seem reasonable. But I found nothing but self blame.
"We did have a choice, Matt. I had a choice. If I hadn't blurted out my stupid feelings, this wouldn't have happened."
"Don't call your feelings stupid, Meems. Is it really stupid to love somebody?"
"It is when it's your friend's fiance."
"But you can't control your feelings. It's just the way you feel about someone. You can't just choose a person and say 'I choose to love you'. It's an emotion that develops inside of you. If we could all choose who we love, we wouldn't be faced with decisions like this."
"Are you saying that if you had the chance to, you'd choose not to love me?"
Matt sighed. "Actually, if I did have the choice, I'd choose not to love..."
But he stopped himself. He didn't have to continue. I knew what he meant and the truth hurt someone who hadn't done anything wrong except fallen in love with a man who's heart belonged to someone else... a person she thought was her best friend.
"Why did you wait so long, Mimi? Why do you suddenly decide that now is the time to admit it?"
I sighed. "I don't know, Matt. I guess...I guess I had been too afraid to before. I just wanted one chance to let you know how I feel... and now you know."
"I love you too, Meems. But that's it."
"I know, Matt."
"We can't let anything more come of this."
"Nothing will, unless we allow it to happen. Now you understand why I won't be going to the wedding."
"I'm sorry to hear that. I still would want you there."
"I want to go too but I don't deserve an honor like that after what I had just done to Sora. I think I'll be returning to America."
Matt nodded, looking sadly towards the ground. "I really will miss you, Meems. I hate to see you go."
"And I hate hurting my best friend, but I guess I can't help it."
I leaned forward and softly kissed Matt, wrapping my arms around him as we shared our second and final kiss. How I wanted to stay and feeling him hold me close, running his hands through my long, brown hair. But I knew it had to end.
Letting go, I whispered a final goodbye and stood up, walking away from my dreams. It took everything I had to keep from turning back and running into his arms. I had him...if only for a few moments. It's all I had ever asked from god and he had given it to me. Yamato's heart is mine and always will be but someone else had him first and it's only fair that she keep him. She deserves him.
I knew that if I stopped and looked back, I would run to him. I knew that if he ran to me, I would give myself up to him. If he called my name, I'd lose control and give into my heart once and for all. I couldn't help it, I would have no choice. I silently begged him to stay where he was and just watch me leave but a part of me wanted him to call to me, to tell me he wanted me and only me.
He didn't call my name.
~* End *~
A/N: I just finished writing this. It's my first Mimato fic that isn't rated NC-17. I had origionally written one a long time ago but I forgot the name of it (honestly! Isn't that stupid of me) and anyways, it was deleted off of the site before I could save in back into my computer. If any of you remember, I think it had been called "Delicate".
Summary: Matt has just told Mimi about his proposal to Sora. In one last attempt, Mimi tries to debate on whether she should admit her true feelings before it is too late (if it isn't already too late).
Disclaimer: I realize that I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fic and I'm not about to say that I do.
Had I lost my chance? Ha! I had lost the chance to be loved by him years ago. I remember every moment with pain and regret. Why couldn't I ever tell him how I truly felt? I could spend 5 hours talking about everything except that on the phone! Why had I given up the oppertunity, why?!
Staring up into his deep, azure eyes, I blinked back tears and forced myself to smile. He looked so handsome, with his hair puffed out like it had been during our adventures in the digital world. His smile made me melt inside and my heart pound faster. What girl could resist him? I tried with all my heart to keep myself from throwing my arms around him and devouring his lucious lips.
"Are you okay, Mimi? You seem a little emotional," he said, gazing even deeper into my eyes as if trying to read my true thoughts.
I tried to keep back my tears but I felt one trickle slowly down my cheek, tripping off the edge of my chin. "Oh, y-you know. I'm just so happy for you and Sora..."
And then I burst into tears. Matt gave a small laugh and hugged me. "Oh Mimi, you get emotional over everything. You're supposed to wait until Sora says "I do" before you start crying."
"I-I know. But I just can't-can't help it."
"It's a beautiful day. Why don't we go take a walk through Odaiba park and maybe that'll calm you down. Plus, it'll give us time to catch up."
I nodded, letting go of Matt and grabbing my purse. I had arrived in Odaiba about a month ago, moving back from the states after I had graduated from high school. Sora had been excited about my return and we had spent almost every waking moment together, although it had been hard for me since I had deep feelings for her boyfriend. Matt and Sora had been dating for four years now and on their anniversary, a few days ago, he had proposed to her. Today he had told me the 'great' news and, as you can tell, I can't take it well.
Following him through the park, I looked up to the clear sky as my tears subsided. Today was remarkably beautiful and the park was filled with many cherry blossom trees, shedding their pink blossoms all over the park's sidewalk. I normally would show more admiration for Tokyo's beauty but my heart just wasn't into it.
"So, enjoying your return to Odaiba so far?" Matt asked.
I gave a forced smile. "Yes, not much has changed since I left."
"Are you excited about the wedding? Sora wants you to be her maid of honor."
"She does? I don't think I should be," I replied. "I don't deserve that. She should have someone who's been here the past five years, someone who knows everything you two went through."
"I think you deserve it. And who else would she pick? Kari wouldn't want to and Yolei would insist you be the maid of honor, since she looks up to you. It would mean a lot to us if you were maid of honor. You've been around since before Yolei and Kari."
"Oh...are you sure I should be? If you knew...trust me, you wouldn't want me to be the maid of honor."
"Why wouldn't I? You'll be great, Mimi. Trust me."
Matt stopped walking to rest under a tree, hiding from the sun under a giant cherry blossom tree. I sat down beside him, making sure to keep at least a foot of space between us. If I sat too close to him, I may not be able to control what would happen next.
Gazing out at the view in front of us, I asked, "So how did you propose to Sora?"
Matt smiled, closing his eyes as he recalled the memory. "I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. I remember planning the whole night carefully for about two weeks. But when the night finally came, everything went wrong. At the restaurant, we had received the wrong order, it started raining when I had taken her on a romantic stroll throughout the park, and when I had knelt down to propose, I had tripped and fell on my face. I felt like such an idiot. Poor Sora was shivering as she waited to see what I was up to. I thought for sure she would be mad at how the night had turned out but the moment she saw the ring...even though the night went horrible, her expression made it worth it. I wouldn't have changed that night for anything in the world the moment she said 'yes'..."
I sighed, leaning back and closing my eyes dreamily as I pictured what it would have been like if Matt had proposed to me. I had had many dreams of what it would be like and each time, my eyes would fill with tears and I'd collapse into his arms and stay like that for what felt like forever...
I felt tears begin to form again as I remembered harsh reality. Was it really harsh? Sure, I hated how life turned out but it was my fault, wasn't it? I should have told him.
"There you go again, Meems," Matt stated, grinning. "If you keep this up, I'd hate to see your reaction at the wedding."
Oh trust me, Matt really won't want to see me at the wedding.
"Yes, I know," I sighed. I tried to hold back my tears but I broke down into a sob, hiding my face in my hands.
"Aw, Meems, you really shouldn't cry so much. I hate to see that beautiful face of yours filled with tears, even if you are happy for Sora and I."
He lifted my face from my hands, his fingers tilting my face so that I was looking directly into his blue eyes. His eyes were filled with unsustained joy while mine were filled with a jealous sadness. How horrible I was for even thinking of my best friend's fiance like that.
But I couldn't help myself and I still can't. I knew that a faint blush had rose to my cheeks as he had complimented on my beauty. And the more those words ran through my hearts, the more my heart pounded and my body tingled with his sensational touch. I looked at his lips with a strong yearning, holding the urge to scream out my feelings and to keep from kissing his tender lips.
"I love you, Matt," I blurted out, tearing up again and cursing myself as the words slipped.
Matt's eyes went wide, and his hands left my chin as if I my skin were cursed. He turned away and stared out across the blue pond that lay before us, probably thinking that I was stupid or that I was the worst person on the face of the planet. Friend's aren't supposed to pronounce their love to their best friend's fiance.
"I-I'm so sorry Matt," I stuttered, blinking back my tears. "I had no right to say it. I should probably leave."
I stood up and prepared to walk away, feeling the dejection of the one thing I wanted most dwell like a heavy weight within the pit of my stomach, when I felt him grasp my arm. I turned to look down into his sad, blue eyes, and suddenly found him looking at me in a whole new way. There was something different about his eyes...
"Don't go," he whispered. "I think we need to talk about this."
Nodding silently, I sat back down, keeping as much distance from him as I felt necessary. Whatever he had to say couldn't possibly be good.
"It's too late."
"I know it is, Matt."
"Nothing could ever come of this."
"That's why I've been crying."
"Don't cry over me, Meems. There are other men more perfect for you."
"But there's only one man I want."
He shook his head, looking at me with those sad eyes. "There isn't only one, Meems. You'll find someone else. It's too late for us."
"What do you mean it's too late for us?" I inquired. "Are you saying there could have been an 'us' or are you merely saying it's too late for me?"
"Mimi, I shouldn't be telling you this," he said, looking away in shame. But he brought his eyes back to me, filled with such intensity that I felt like crumbling under his love filled gaze. "But...I also love you. I love more than anything in the world, other than Sora. But it's too late."
"You said that already," I replied, forcing a smile. "But I understand."
A silence fell between us and we continued to stare at each other, like two lost dogs that had strayed a long way from home. I should have turned to leave, I should have walked away. But what happened next surprised me to a point where I thought I would have had a heart attack.
Matt leaned forward, tipping my chin towards his face. His eyes bore down into mine, sparkling with tears as if he understood the great responsibility of his unfaithful act. I felt another tear escape but his fingers gently wiped it away. Another silent moment passed and all we could do was stare and contemplate the shameful act we both wanted to perform. And then our lips touched.
I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine, a tingling sensation trailing down the back of my spine. I felt myself shudder as he gently nipped my lower lip, his tongue teasing the opening of my mouth. Our teasing kiss grew more passionate as the moment wore on and the whole world around us disappeared as seconds turned to hours and hours became an eternity. I felt his tongue tease my own and I collapsed into his arms, my heart's desire finally being fulfilled.
But not everything can last forever. Before I could further indulge this kiss, I found myself pulling away in anger and disgust. I truly was the worst person on the face of the planet! All I could think about were my own feelings and not Sora's! How she would hate me if she ever found out.
Matt turned away, also hiding his head in shame. Both of us had hurt Sora although if she ever were to find out, I'd take all the blame. If I hadn't told Matt how I felt, he would never have been tempted to kiss me like that.
"We shouldn't have done that," I whispered.
Matt nodded. "I know. But did we really have a choice?"
I pondered his words for a moment, thinking of some explanation that would seem reasonable. But I found nothing but self blame.
"We did have a choice, Matt. I had a choice. If I hadn't blurted out my stupid feelings, this wouldn't have happened."
"Don't call your feelings stupid, Meems. Is it really stupid to love somebody?"
"It is when it's your friend's fiance."
"But you can't control your feelings. It's just the way you feel about someone. You can't just choose a person and say 'I choose to love you'. It's an emotion that develops inside of you. If we could all choose who we love, we wouldn't be faced with decisions like this."
"Are you saying that if you had the chance to, you'd choose not to love me?"
Matt sighed. "Actually, if I did have the choice, I'd choose not to love..."
But he stopped himself. He didn't have to continue. I knew what he meant and the truth hurt someone who hadn't done anything wrong except fallen in love with a man who's heart belonged to someone else... a person she thought was her best friend.
"Why did you wait so long, Mimi? Why do you suddenly decide that now is the time to admit it?"
I sighed. "I don't know, Matt. I guess...I guess I had been too afraid to before. I just wanted one chance to let you know how I feel... and now you know."
"I love you too, Meems. But that's it."
"I know, Matt."
"We can't let anything more come of this."
"Nothing will, unless we allow it to happen. Now you understand why I won't be going to the wedding."
"I'm sorry to hear that. I still would want you there."
"I want to go too but I don't deserve an honor like that after what I had just done to Sora. I think I'll be returning to America."
Matt nodded, looking sadly towards the ground. "I really will miss you, Meems. I hate to see you go."
"And I hate hurting my best friend, but I guess I can't help it."
I leaned forward and softly kissed Matt, wrapping my arms around him as we shared our second and final kiss. How I wanted to stay and feeling him hold me close, running his hands through my long, brown hair. But I knew it had to end.
Letting go, I whispered a final goodbye and stood up, walking away from my dreams. It took everything I had to keep from turning back and running into his arms. I had him...if only for a few moments. It's all I had ever asked from god and he had given it to me. Yamato's heart is mine and always will be but someone else had him first and it's only fair that she keep him. She deserves him.
I knew that if I stopped and looked back, I would run to him. I knew that if he ran to me, I would give myself up to him. If he called my name, I'd lose control and give into my heart once and for all. I couldn't help it, I would have no choice. I silently begged him to stay where he was and just watch me leave but a part of me wanted him to call to me, to tell me he wanted me and only me.
He didn't call my name.
~* End *~