I try to roll over on my side, but find I can't. Groggy, I force myself to open my eyes to see just why I can't move. The answer comes instantly. Eren is using my chest as a pillow. I think about getting mad, but decide against it. Eren really only does it to hear my heartbeat. To make sure I'm still alive after all the hell we go through each day.
For the same reason, I can't get mad at Jean, even though he's pressed against my side, fingers intertwined with mine. Right where my breath would pass over his ear, reassuring himself that yes, I'm still breathing. Still alive. I haven't died unexpectedly like Marco.
I still feel the need to move but, for their sakes, I make myself relax, lazily studying the cracked ceiling. Taking in their warmth as the dawn slowly creeps in through the window, lighting up their sleeping faces. "I love you two," I whisper to them, even though they aren't really awake to hear it. I don't say it as often as I should. They say it freely as we tumble through rough sex in the evenings. Freely as we wake up still tangled in each other, coated in sweat. But it's hard for me to say it to their faces. Like if I say it, they'll be devoured like so many others I cared about. "I love you two so much." Almost like they heard me, their grips tighten, but I know that they didn't. They're still too lost in dreams of when things were easier and less complicated. When the only enemies were the monsters called Titans. "And I'll protect you two. Forever."
I just hope I can keep that promise.