I, Robot By Moonhawk64
A/N: So, I was just sitting, vegging, when this idea suddenly came to me out of nowhere, and I just had to write it. For some reason, I also thought it would be best as just dialogue, even though I've always had a problem with dialogue. I guess this can be thought of as an experiment in style, then, as well as practice in writing dialogue. Hope it came out ok.
As usual, I don't own, etc.
"Oh, quit being childish and eat!"
"I'm not hungry."
"Yes, you are, you just don't want to admit it. But you need to eat. All humans do."
"Then I wish I weren't human."
"Oh? And what would you like to be?"
"A robot."
"Don't be ridiculous. Being a robot wouldn't be any better than being human."
"Of course it would. Perfect, emotionless, no need to eat or sleep. Never getting sick or injured."
"Wrong. Number one, we have yet to invent a portable cold fusion power source, so you'd have to run on regular electricity. Therefore, you would have to be plugged into the wall periodically. Therefore, there goes your lack of need to eat."
"Damn!"
"And, of course, what happens if you break down? You would need a mechanic and a source of repair parts. And you'd probably have to be shut down for the repairs. In fact, you'd have to be shut down for regular maintenance, too, for that matter. And there goes injury and sleeping."
"Well..."
"And what happens if, God forbid, your programming should become corrupted? Or, even worse, your hard drive should crash? You'd have to have the drive replaced. Or, at least, you'd have to be reformatted and reloaded."
". . ."
"And, as for emotionlessness, well, without the ability to understand emotions, you'd never understand people's motivations, so you wouldn't be nearly as efficient in solving crimes."
"Ah, HA! Wrong! Just because I couldn't feel emotions, doesn't mean I couldn't understand them in others!"
"No, you couldn't. You really couldn't."
"- -"
"- -"
"Fine. Being a robot wouldn't be better."
"Fine. Now quit being childish and eat."
"Fine."
"Good."
"You want to have the last word for once, don't you?"
"Yes."
"F-mmggh!"
"Shut up and chew."
The End.