Author's Note: So, it's just the Doctor and Amy in this first part, but the Sherlock universe comes into play soon. Reviews are always appreciated, but most of all, I hope you enjoy the story!
Prologue OR How the Platypus Came To Be OR A Tin of Beans
Amy Pond glanced at the Doctor, and, for the tenth time that day he avoided her eyes. This might or might not have to do with the fact that a mess of wires was dangling from the wall of the TARDIS, spouting angry electrical sparks. Either way, it was time to speak up.
"And you're sure we couldn't stop for a bite? Not even a five minute stop?"
"No," he said immediately, as if they hadn't been silent for hours, as if they were continuing a conversation and he knew exactly how it was going to end.
"No, you're not sure we couldn't stop, as in, we could stop?"
"No, as in, no we can't stop."
"But we went six galaxies and a century out of our way because you had a hankering for a sandwich with the original Earl of Sandwich. And now you're telling me that we can't stop for a minute even though I've gone for forty-eight hours without food?"
"Yes. Oh, don't go on looking at me like that, it's not my fault. The monosynchronicity control pad's gone all faulty, so we can't land for at least another four hours, or else—"
Here Amy rolled her eyes towards the heavens (or whatever was above the ceiling of the TARDIS at that moment), gestured grandly, and did her best to mimic the Doctor's voice.
"All time and space will go collapsing in on itself, the universe will divide, the stars will turn into cannibalistic rainbow-puking ponies!"
"Cannibalistic ponies?"
"Shut up. I'm hungry. I might go cannibalistic if I have to wait much longer." She turned her back to him and stomped off.
Just then, several valves behind the Doctor filled with purple smoke, a lever popped right out of the switchboard, and a shrill ringing started up under the glass floors.
"Hang on a minute Pond, just stand back—Amy?"
The Doctor braced his knee against another row of levers to keep them in place whilst his hands fiddled with the valves (whose sides were now covered in spidery cracks leaking little wisps of plum colored smoke).
"Pond, I didn't mean that. Pond, come back here NOW! Oh no, no, no, no! There it goes!"
-Five Minutes Later-
"—not asking for anything fancy. Fish and chips. Hardtack with the pilgrims. Anything! What's that smell-"
"Yeah. Didn't hear me, did you?" asked a sooty, singed, hair-on-end, positively raggedy Doctor.
"No, I didn't. Er, are you all right?" she asked, looking guilty.
"Fine, fine. And I stopped the control room from imploding, in case you were interested."
The concern melted instantly from her face to be replaced by suspicion.
"Right. Then why didn't you tell me we had food in the TARDIS?"
"Because we don't! Have you gone delusional? Good God Pond, remind me never to catch you before you've had a proper breakfast."
"But it's right here. Crisps and biscuits—"
"Ok, off to the therapist with you, soon as we can land. It's been a long time since I've seen old Freud."
She ignored him.
"—And beans"
"NO!" He shouted suddenly. He looked quite as frightened as if he had seen a Cyberman exchange compliments with a Dalek.
"What are you on about?"
"Those aren't beans."
"Then what are they?"
"Just—just set them down. Right there, that's right."
"Are they magic beans?" Amy asked mischievously. "Will they grow a gigantic beanstalk with a castle on top if I drop them?
"No, well they could, I mean—Just leave them. You didn't open that tin at all did you?"
He passed his screwdriver over the top of the tin and seemed a little pacified.
"Seems we're alright. But you, you very nearly unleashed the most dangerous thing in the universe."
"And what might that be?"
"Your mind."
"Doctor, that tin of beans is not my mind."
"Yes it is. Most of the species that know about them call them Pearls of Gaia, or some translation of that. What they actually are are shattered bits of the center of the universe, splinters of the beginning of creation."
"Nope, not getting it."
"Amy. These are the pieces that never got used. They haven't formed yet, and so, whenever they come into contact with a living, thinking being, like a hungry Pond, they take whatever shape you're thinking about, whatever's in your head. How do you think we ended up with the platypus?"
"They can't be all that dangerous though."
"It's better than that. When one of these takes shape, it creates a whole timeline for itself, interwoven into the timeline we know, like it always existed. Just think of the havoc your mind would reek. We'd all be fleeing from monstrous Shetlands by now.
"Alright. Point taken…I think. But when you say that whatever is created gets woven through the universe, do you mean to say that—"
"There are platypuses in almost every galaxy, but they're secretive little buggers…"
He froze for a moment, staring into the distance before snapping back to awareness.
"Excuse my saying so, but you've never been chased down by one of them. The ones in the Minellan System spit acid."
"Ok Doctor. Little pieces of universe, platypuses. I just have one more question. What are they doing in a tin of beans?"
"Easy. The most powerful, important things in the universe, I had to keep them somewhere. Wouldn't want to mix them up with something innocent now, would I?
"Beans?"
"Beans are evil."