A soft knock on the door broke the peaceful silence of the house.
Antonio got up from his comfortable position on the couch, putting down his book, and strolled lazily towards the entrance. Plastering on an excited smile, Antonio swung the door open almost too happily. His uninvited guest's identity didn't necessarily surprise him but he didn't expect to see the person either.
"Alice."- He greeted, with a smile.
"…Hello."- was the quiet reply, said a bit too blankly, her eyes staring straight into his. Antonio kept the contact for no longer than a second then ushered her inside. He felt no need to tell Alice to make herself at home, knowing she probably would anyway, as he led the girl to the couch. He himself was heading to the kitchen to fix them both a drink.
"Any preference?"- The brunette asked without specifying what he was referring too. Somehow, Alice understood his lack of information, or at least seemed to.
"No. Not really. Anything would do."- She answered monotonously, fiddling with the TV remote control. She turned it on without asking for permission, arranging herself snuggly on the soft leather couch with a plush cushion crushed beneath her elbows.
Antonio nodded, entering the spacious kitchen, even though Alice wouldn't see the motion. He made a beeline for the island in the middle of the room. Taking out two crystal glasses from a richly decorated wooden cabinet, the tanned male reached for a bottle on a shelf containing quite a number of other glass bottles. Antonio hummed a happy tune as he prepared the drinks, swaying slightly along the melody.
After a good 10 minutes, the curly haired male finally emerged from the kitchen to the living room where his guest was watching some sort of nightly sitcom. Her posture spoke off boredom: her legs folded beneath the squishy cushion, an arm supporting her head with a knuckle under the chin, the other arm fell uselessly to the side, whilst her back hunched over the cushion and her head tilted to one side. Antonio almost chuckled at how bored she seemed but kept quiet nonetheless.
He walked swiftly towards the twin tailed girl, balancing the glasses on the silver tray. Noticing the approaching figure, Alice lifted her head to look at the Spaniard then shifted her gaze to the drinks. When the male stopped at just the right distance, the blonde took a glass from the tray, not without a quiet "thank you". Antonio put the tray down on the coffee table, taking his drink as well. The only sound in the room was from the TV, loud enough to be heard but also quiet enough to keep the place relatively still.
Neither uttered a word as they sipped on the brown liquid in the glasses noiselessly, until Alice broke the silence for the second time that night.
"Really, Antonio? Whiskey?"- The Briton questioned, an elegant eyebrow raised, somehow slightly amused.
"You did say anything is fine. And hey, it's Irish whiskey. Good stuff, no?"- Antonio grinned playfully as he took another swig of the alcoholic liquid, "Besides, there is no way you would ask for an orange juice or milk after coming all the way here, would you?" His grin still present, the handsome male challenged good- naturedly, raising both slim brows at the girl. He knew his friend. There had never been a time when she came to his house not consuming something alcoholic.
"True. And indeed, this certainly is quite exquisite."- The blonde chuckled at her friend's words, sipping delicately and savouring the way the silky substance smoothly ran down her throat, leaving a certain tingling bitter aftertaste on her tongue. Her laughter died down as Alice was reminded of certain things she had wanted to forget.
The Spanish male immediately noticed how the blonde's mood seemed to have changed. Suddenly, the atmosphere seemed a tad bit heavier.
Antonio shifted deliberately on the couch, crossing one leg over the other, throwing his arm on the backrest behind Alice.
"So, why are you here?"- He decided to approach this straightforwardly, all previous teasing gone in a heartbeat. He knew something had happened the moment she appeared in front of his door that evening unannounced, and he was not going to know what if he beat around the bush.
No. Being skittish around Alice right now would not bring Antonio the answers he desired.
Alice did not respond. She did not even seem to have heard the question, nursing the glass in her hands absently whilst gazing somewhere faraway. Antonio waited patiently, looking sideway at the girl next to him with a slight smile. What came after the temporary suspension almost caught him off guard. Almost.
"Are you my friend?"- Alice asked casually, like she was talking about the weather and never was in some sort of trance (which she surely was, Antonio insisted).
"You would not be sitting here if I was not."- Antonio answered, just as casually, twirling his drink in a circular motion with the smile still in place.
"Am I your best friend?"- She continued, nothing could be read from her tone of voice. Antonio considered the question for a few seconds.
"No. My best friends are Gil and Francis."- A blunt and honest response. He was not afraid that his reply would hurt her, intentionally or unintentionally, because it did not and they both knew it.
"Lovina. What about her?"- Alice turned to look straight at him, her eyes a shade of emerald so clear, so piercing, so penetratingly bright. Antonio stared back without reservation.
"No. She is not my best friend."- Antonio shrugged, "Well, it's complicated really. It seems people expect us to be something different from what I think we are. Do you, Alice?"- His eyes never left hers as he enquired. She knew he was testing waters. Testing for what, she did not think she knew.
"Then what is she? What do you think you guys are?"- So she ignored his question entirely, posing her own, her expression not betraying her thoughts. She did not miss a flash of an unidentifiable emotion in Antonio's eyes, but Antonio, for all his usual goofiness, was unnecessarily hard to read when need be. Hence, she did not even attempt.
"Someone irreplaceable and too precious to let hurt."- The brunette responded with a cheerful grin. He purposefully disregarded how Alice ignored his previous question. He reckoned she would not answer anyway, at least not to what he implied.
"What are you to her?"- Alice nodded, throwing her next question.
"Who knows? It's something you have to ask her. It's not like I can read Lovina's mind."- He sipped the whiskey, loving how it deliciously burnt his throat. He had no idea what Alice was trying to achieve with all this questioning. Hence, he would just wait and see.
"Why is she not your girlfriend?"- Alice's eyes bore into Antonio's soul as she unabashedly interrogated him about his love life, almost, "Everyone knows there is something between the two of you, no? Why?" The Spaniard contemplated this question a bit more carefully than he had the others, searching the blonde's face for any emotion. There was none.
"Hm~~ Good question."- Antonio licked his lips as his eyes darted towards the ceiling in a thoughtful manner, "I have no answer for that unfortunately." He smiled charmingly, bringing his brown orbs back to Alice, scrutinising her face for any palpable feeling. As expected, there was nothing of the sort. Antonio was not going to lie; he was a little disappointed that Alice was so unaffected. It was true that he liked Lovina and was attracted to her, but not in that sense. He just genuinely cared for the Italian as a brother would his sister, a very adorable one at that.
However, if he had to admit, he'd say Alice was more of a potential lover. At the thought, he glanced at his companion who appeared rather silent after the last question. The Briton was pretty, bordering beautiful even. Her red glasses only served to enhance the striking colour of her emerald eyes. What made Antonio so fascinated about the girl, though, was not her appearance. It was the fire in her eyes. Unlike Arthur, Alice's twin brother, whose ferocious fire was always ready to set alight a whole city, Alice's flame could be considered dormant until it got out of hand and burnt absolutely everything down. Antonio was rather enthralled with such predictable unpredictability.
For one reason or another, he reached out his hand and toyed with one of Alice's twin tails. She looked at him through her peripheral vision suspiciously for a second then ignored him and the pleasant sensation of having his fingers running through her hair to go back to her musings. He did not particularly like how she was so unlike herself tonight. Any other night, they might have already been engaged in certain very interesting activities.
Any other night, he would have already been kissing her senseless, his hands wandering in places she'd consider inappropriate normally. And she would have definitely returned the favour he dealt on her lips and body with equal, if not more, force and vigour. Tonight however was not one of those nights. Alice was burdened by something which she refused to tell Antonio, for now.
"Right."- The blonde finally responded after what seemed like an eternity, "Are Gilbert and Francis just as important and oh so precious?" Her voice was just as flat as ever, but her word choice indicated her sarcasm well enough despite being serious all the same.
"Well, of course they are."- The Spaniard replied, blinking whilst attempting to decipher what she really meant, "But in a different sense, if that's what you are implying. Let's see, how to explain this…" Antonio stroked his chin contemplatively, licking his upper lip, eyes closing in deep thoughts.
"No need to. I get it."- Alice interrupted.
"You do?"- Antonio looked at Alice almost wonderingly, sounding more surprised than he actually was.
"Yeah. Do you have to be so surprised?"- He sniggered at her mild irritation but wisely opted to let her continue in peace, "If I were to describe their differences, I'd say Lovina is more of a sister while Gilbert and Francis are more like…comrades in arms." She finished nodding sagely to herself.
"Si! So you do know why I never date Lovina."- Alice had never wanted to slap that smug look off the Spaniard's face more than now. She scowled as he grinned cheekily at her, "And yes, you are right about Francis and Gilbert. Well it seems I underestimated you huh." He laughed, amused at the bespectacled girl's insulted expression though glad she was less tense than half an hour ago. "So…if you know the reason behind me not dating Lovi, why did you ask as though you didn't understand?" Antonio's voice was cheery and bright, but Alice could sense the sharp edge hidden beneath. Antonio watched as the blonde slowly turned to face him, her guard up and face blank.
Alice observed Antonio with the eyes of a seasoned detective, taking in every twitch of the brows or movement of the body. There was nothing to suggest Antonio was angry with her. She internally debated with herself whether to tell him the real reason she was here or not. She tried to predict what he would do, going through every possible reaction he might have. So far, she had found no reason to not tell him. But well, who said she had to be reasonable? Alice decided to continue her A&Q session, and once again completely disregard Antonio's query.
"How important are they?"- Antonio was not pleased with the Briton's avoidance to his questions. His eyes darkened slightly as they bored holes into her skull when she looked away from his smouldering stare. It might have been childish of him to do this, but he retaliated by ignoring her this time. His eyes left the girl and focused on the TV in front. He pretended to not have heard her at all and picked up the remote control to change the channel to something more interesting than the one about how to knit.
This, however, did not deter Alice.
"Would you give up whatever you have to keep them safe? Would you make time for them even if you were drowned in work and responsibilities? Would you give in to their desires?"- And so on, "Or…. would you consider dying? For them?" Antonio turned sharply at the last one, raising an eyebrow as if asking 'are you serious?'. All the questions had been rather odd but the last was a bit…extreme. Nonetheless, Alice did not stop.
"And…what if they left you?"- She finally swivelled to meet Antonio's imploring gaze. Her own was firm but duller than ever. The Spanish male remained quiet as he searched the blonde's face. His expression mirrored her own look of indifference and faux composure. Antonio realised then, why she was here.
Still, he did not respond. So she resumed, again turning to stare at some invisible wall ahead.
"I…just lost something, someone, important." – Alice confessed, her voice did not waver but Antonio could hear the chaos of emotions underneath, "I don't know what to do really. I didn't even know how…precious the person was…until two days ago. It was already a bit too late, you know." She breathed out a pained laugh, her fists tightened on the plush cushion.
"Aah. Pathetic. Ironic huh."- Alice smiled as she leaned back to rest her head on the backrest, where Antonio's arm had been ever since the conversation started, "I always thought this kind of thing only happened in films. I mean, it feels so…unreal. The whole regret and retrospective love thing. But yeah, it does happen." She shifted her attention to the Spaniard as she finished bitterly.
Antonio said nothing still. It was not that he wanted to ignore her this time, he was just thinking. He watched Alice for a moment, looking for tears or anything that showed her pain and almost despair. He saw her try hard to keep herself from falling apart, her tiny frame barely quivered.
He understood. More than anyone he knew what it felt like to be left alone, giving up people and things who and which used to be so dear, almost a part of himself. He knew it felt like one was betrayed. Knew it felt like your heart was being torn into pieces. But, he also knew it would happen no matter what. He was prepared, Alice was not. As experienced as they both were, Alice, unlike him, loved more than anyone. It was not usual occurrence that she loved, but once she did, she loved more deeply, more passionately than anyone else, including himself who was from the country of passion or Francis the country of love. It was easy to understand why she would take this more harshly.
Alice's followed Antonio as he moved closer to her. She did not protest when Antonio gathered her into his arms, holding her like a father would his daughter. Then he spoke.
"It's not easy. Especially when that someone used to be your whole world. Not at all."- He exhaled a breath he did not know he was holding, running his hand along the blonde's hair as he whispered softly, "But Alice. You know it would happen. As much as you would like to keep that someone caged within your arms, you know it's impossible. They would take flight one day. They would leave your side-"
"WHY? WHY IS IT? DO I NOT LOVE THEM ENOUGH?"- Alice almost screamed, looking up to stare fiercely into Antonio's jade orbs, the emerald shade of her eyes burning viciously. Ah. There it is. The fire Antonio was so entranced by. Her fists tightened around the material of Antonio's shirt, "Do I not give them enough? Do I…not sacrifice enough?" As suddenly as it appeared, the fire died down, leaving behind just tiny sparks of flame.
"No. You don't just love enough. You love too much Alice. Too much."- Antonio sighed, gazing into Alice's confused stare, "Your love, it was too heavy, too suffocating for them. You give too much. You sacrifice too much. It scared them. They wanted to be free of the love that seemed to chain their wings." Alice's eyes widened in heart-breaking realisation. Antonio did not look away, holding her gaze firmly and unwaveringly, taking in her overwhelming chaotic mess of emotions and thoughts.
"But that does not mean you should stop loving Alice."- Antonio smiled warmly, reading Alice's mind as he knew she would take the truth disastrously by telling herself not to love anymore so no one would leave, "Your love may be too heavy, too restraining for them. But that does not mean everyone would feel the same. Somebody out there would surely take all of it and return twice as much. Then you may be the one to flee you know." Antonio chuckled at his last statement.
Alice looked at him in amazement. She did not think he could sound so comforting or convincing. "Don't tell me that person is you. I'll really flee." Alice allowed herself a small smile at Antonio's (fake) offended expression.
"Hey! What's wrong with me? And I did not say it had to be me okay?"- The Spanish boy pouted childishly, then giving Alice a devilish smirk, "But I don't mind being that person at all you know?"
"No thanks. I think I'm fine looking for someone else."- Alice laughed, an eyebrow raised, amused at the proposal as well as the rejected face of the boy holding her.
They continued their little banter well into the night, about whom Alice could love and who could be her lover.
As logical as Antonio's argument was and as convinced as she was by his words, this did not mean all her sorrow and grief were gone. No. It was not that simple. But she was willing to let it go for the night. To forget it in the meantime. She would allow herself to enjoy her time with Antonio, listening to his attempt at comforting her.
She would leave the brooding and seething until tomorrow. Tonight, she would laugh them all off.