Chapter 1
Killua's Point Of View
A/N: The world really needs a LOT more Gon x Killua fanfictions, so here I am, supplying people with them. Because I love this pairing with a deep passion and it needs more love!
When you look at me, and I look back, the look that I'm giving you is saying a lot but you don't know it.
When you touch me and you don't know it, that touch you're giving me is giving me tingles, but you don't know it.
When say say my name in a casual way, I think of it as something much deeper then that.
I don't know if you think of it like I do, but everything you do, I exaggerate it into feelings for me. If I could have my way, you'd love me.
But you keep saying the word, "friends" and everytime you say that, it hurts me and makes me think about what I'm doing, or rather, feeling.
I think about you a lot, Gon. Even though I can just look over and you'll be right there, because we're staying with each other forever.
But what happens when forever ends? What will happen to us? I'm not leaving you no matter what. You could tell me to never speak to you again, and I'd follow you anyway.
I want to change all these words and pretend you wrote this for me.
I want you, to be mine. But you don't notice my feelings.
" Killua?" Gon spoke, looking over my shoulder.
I froze and tackled the paper I was writing on. " Gon! Don't scare me like that!"
" Who are you writing to?" Gon asked quietly.
" Nobody." I growled, taking the paper and folding it into my pocket.
" You sure?" Gon asked with a smile.
" Yes, Gon, now leave me alone." I sighed, banging my head on the desk.
Gon blinked, " Something's been wrong with you lately. Wanna talk about it?"
" Uh, no." Killua said casually.
" Come on, I know there is something wrong." Gon said. Wrong in so many ways..., I thought.
" What would you say...if I said..." My cheeks turned pink and I looked at his confused face, " Nothing..." I turned around.
" Awww, come on, tell me." Gon pried.
" I can't." I stuck out my tongue.
" What's it gonna do if you tell me?" Gon crossed his arms.
" Well that just depends on you, but fine, I'll say it." I turned red around my cheeks and said, " I love you, Gon."
He stared at me for a while and his cheeks turned a bright red, " Uh...Killua, I don't understand."
I turned my head, " I knew you wouldn't. How hard is it to understand?" I said, a little roughness in my voice.
" Killua..." Gon said, trying to calm me down. " You didn't give me a chance to think. We're jeopardizing our friendship and if something goes wrong...I don't want to lose you."
" Nothing would go wrong if we both have mutual feelings!" I yelled.
" Killua, our friendship means a lot to me." Gon pouted. " We should be friend's first."
" I want to know how you feel about me, not what would happen if there was an us. We could even still be friends, I just want to know, is there anything...?" I said, walking closer to him. I pressed my lips against his, hard and pushed us against the bed. I locked my hands with his and laid on top of him. He wriggled underneath me, but I didn't let him go. He eventually started kissing me back. I paused and whispered, not looking at him " Why aren't you stopping me? I could take advantage of your right now!"
" Killua..."
" Why are you letting me do this? I don't want to do this to you! But I can't help it! Why aren't you telling me to stop?"
" I know you won't do anything to hurt me." Gon said quietly.
" But, you were kissing me back! Don't play with my feelings, Gon." I growled.
" I'm not. It's because I want this too, Killua." Gon said quietly, leaning up and kissing me. " I just don't want to lose you."
A/N: Yay!